Breaststroke:


The OP, is a blog/column adviser who people write to, for advice about their life issues.

You know like the sort of "Dear Bunmi" column you find in the Vanguard newspapers.

OP is not issues directly linked to his/her life

God bless you!

A lot of folks here don't understand that.

I don't even bother trying to explain, I derive pleasure watching them drown in ignorance.

Kudos

onlinetomola:
An hotel

Hello dear.

It is actually A hotel, not An[/b]hotel

The H pronunciation in the word [b]hotel is not silent.

Take note!

Sorry, I mistakenly switched the words while trying to put the letters in bold. I was trying to correct him. Cheers

@Renderhelp,

Since my neighbour turned his house into a hotel, we've not had peace!

Evil men and prostitute now walk in and out of my once peaceful street like its no man's business. Right now, I can't even take a walk after 7pm because the prostitutes have made the place their station, calling you and saying nasty things. There are kids here for Christ sake!!!

To make matters worse we barely sleep at night as loud music always blasts from their speakers. Used condoms and cigarette butts are littered everywhere.

I also suspect hard drugs are sold there. We can't report him to the police because some police officers patronise the hotel and we are all scared to report.

What can we do??

What's up @Renderhelp

My girlfriend left me for another guy because I couldn't afford iPhone X .

The guy eventually dumped her and she sold the phone when she got broke.

I begged her to come back to me and we continued our relationship early this year.

IPhone 11 will soon be released...should I pause our relationship first because I don't want to get heartbroken

@Renderhelp

This happened decades ago, but I want to reopen this case.

My dear Aunt who I loved so much was murdered in cold blood by her husband. My Aunt was more wealthy than her husband and owned a lot of properties. Her husband earned peanuts where he worked and his jealousy turned the marriage into a battle field.

It was like she saw her death was close and she ran to our village elders to put an end to the marriage but they refused and told her that her riches are making her proud and she should hand over her properties to her husband in order to make peace.

My Aunt refused and my dad secretly took her to a lawyer where she willed her properties to her children. Few months later, she had a fight with her husband and he hit her on the head with a pestle. She died on the spot.

He accused her of adultery to the village elders. They only stripped him of his chieftaincy title and told my family not to involve the police.

They dumped her body in the shrine with the excuse that she died a "shameful death"

My Aunt had 4 kids for this man and he dumped them with my grandmother in the village. He hardly sends money for their upkeep. Their father is enjoying my late aunt's money with his new wife and kids.

My cousins and I want to reopen the case and have him jailed. They also want to take back their mother's properties. How do we go about it??

@Renderhelp,

I just found out my hubby is having an affair with his younger sister.

When I met my husband he was sharing a rented one room apartment with his younger sister. I didn't think anything of it, I thought they were just close siblings.

When we got married, I refused to let his sister move in with us. I wanted us to enjoy marital bliss in private. Few months after our marriage he suddenly quit his job and he told me he got a new job in katsina state. I was very angry and I wondered why he would take a job so far away as we stayed in Lagos.

I wasn't ready to quit my job so he left me in Lagos. Weeks later he called me to tell me his sister had moved in with him, his excuse was that he wanted to secure a good job for her in the same company.

He came back to Lagos recently for a two weeks leave and he has been acting strange. He barely touches me and he spends long hours in the bathroom with his phone. I suspected he had committed adultery with a strange woman.

While he was asleep I took his phone and bypassed his password. A message popped up almost immediately , I clicked on it.

@Renderhelp, Lo and behold it was a nude picture of his younger sister. She was butt naked!! She captioned the picture saying "come home fast bro, your baby is waiting"

I was so shocked. I felt weak. I picked up my car keys and I've been in my parents house since yesterday. He has been calling but I'm not taking his calls. I haven't told my parents anything.

How do I wake up from this nightmare??

Greetings @Renderhelp

I am a 23 year old female and my ex boyfriends and my family and friends have always complained about my body odour

I cannot smell anything but I noticed a lot of people at my work place keep their distance from me.

I've been insulted severally. Last week I was in a bus and the man sitting next to me covered his nose with a handkerchief and mumbled "soap don finish for market?" I wanted the ground to swallow me.

Anytime my ex and I wanted to have sex, he would bathe me himself and pour a lot of perfume on me. It made me feel bad but I didn't want to argue. He later broke up with me and told me I smell like rotten sardine.

Since then I've been afraid to enter into a new relationship.

I've tried a lot of perfumes, soap and deodorant but nothing works. Help me!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Are you having problems??

Are you depressed??

A problem shared is half solved already...

Send me a mail, I'm here to alleviate your pains

renderhelp@yahoo.com

Are you having problems??

Are you depressed??

A problem shared is half solved already...

Send me a mail, I'm here to alleviate your pains

renderhelp@yahoo.com

Are you having problems??

Are you depressed??

A problem shared is half solved already...

Send me a mail, I'm here to alleviate your pains

renderhelp@yahoo.com

Are you having problems??

Are you depressed??

A problem shared is half solved already...

Send me a mail, I'm here to alleviate your pains

renderhelp@yahoo.com

Hello @Renderhelp

I was trafficked from Nigeria to Italy as a young girl for prostitution.

@Renderhelp forget what all these trafficked Nigerian girls say that they thought the were going overseas to do menial jobs, that's a big lie!!! We all know what we had to do there.

I personally volunteered to travel out to seek greener pastures. I begged my madam, Aunty vero to take me. My family was poor and it seemed there was no hope for me in Nigeria.

Aunty Vero helped me to process my documents and flight tickets after agreeing to pay her 7 million naira as settlement when I get to Italy.

Aunty Vero had lied that she owned a big hotel in Italy and all I had to do was wait in a room and men will come to meet me but when I got there I found out I had to stand in the street amongst other girls to beg men to patronize us.

It wasn't an easy task. I made less than 4,000 naira most nights which I have to give to my madam. I was raped and robbed on three occasions.

One night, I was standing on the street as usual when I heard multiple gunshots. Everyone ran away including me. I saw a shop nearby and quickly ran into it. The man in the shop hurriedly locked the door and invited me to hide with him in a room at the back of the stood.

He was Italian and very friendly. We talked for hours. When it seemed like the chaos was over, I asked to leave but he begged me to stay. I hadn't made any money that night and Aunt Vero would beat me but I didn't care. This was the first friend I had made since I came to Italy.

We grew closer as I visited his store everyday. He told me he owned the store and I told him my story. He didn't criticize me for being a prostitute. He felt sorry for me. He promised to settle my madam if I agreed to marry him and I did.

He paid Aunty Vero even after she greedily increased her fees to 12 million naira. We got married and moved into his family house as we couldn't afford to pay rent at the time.

His family didn't trust me, they believed all Nigerians were terrible people, I tried to prove them wrong but they still hated me. They said I made their son bankrupt and I had planned with Aunty Vero to dupe him.

I had my 2 kids in that house and we stayed there for 6 years until we were able to afford our own apartment.

My husband is bitter as his business hasn't picked up since then and he has been putting all the blame on me.

My family in Nigeria thinks I'm stingy because I don't send them enough money. I am just a supermarket attendant here but they don't understand. They are always comparing me to my mates who are building mansions in Nigeria.

My kids are being bullied in school and are ashamed to mention their mum is Nigerian. They don't even like me to visit their school. They are ashamed of me.

I feel lost and out of place here. I want to dump everything and move to Spain, maybe I'll live a better life there. I'm not happy at all. I need your advice.

Hi @Renderhelp,

My Father abandoned my mother about 23 years ago with 3 kids to marry another woman.

Things were rough and my mother struggled to raise us alone. My two siblings died along the way leaving only me behind. My father didn't even care to attend their funeral, he told everyone my mother is a witch and he was lucky to had escape.

My mother did all she could to see that I got the best education. Now I have a great job in Canada. I visit home once in a while to check up on mama, I even built her a lovely bungalow and bought her a car.

I invested in a chain of retail stores in Nigeria and business is booming. I named the stores after my mother.

My father heard the good news and since then he has been pestering me. My mother told me he asked for her forgiveness and that he wants them to live as husband and wife again but she chased him with a knife and threatened to kill him. I told her what she did was harsh but she warned me not to speak to him.

He contacted me and I didn't have the guts to turn him down. I have been sending him and his new family money every month. Everyday he brings up a story to ask for more money .Today, fire burnt down their house...Tomorrow, his legs got broken in an accident.

I know I don't owe him anything, especially with the way he treated us when I was little, but I have this soft spot for him.

Now he's asking to handover the management of some of my stores to him and to take some of my step siblings to Canada. How can I stop this madness?

1

When my mother heard my father had been arrested in Lagos she angrily kicked me out of the house. We knew it was hopeless to fight the case with a rich family.

She reported the issue to our village elders.The elders called his father who was in France the whole time. He came back when he heard what happened.

He released my father and apologized for the way his wife handled it. My Parents said I was on my own and my father disowned me. Since then we haven't talked.


My husband's father rented an apartment for me which he asked me to stay in till I deliver the baby after which a DNA test will be carried out to prove if the child belongs to his son. He threatened that if the test comes out negative 8 will be jailed for life.

I stayed there till I delivered. All this while my husband didn't say a word to me. I fell into depression. When I had my baby, the test was carried out which came out positive.

His father arranged a quick and quiet court wedding and we moved in together, I didn't know I signed my death warrant.

My husband beats me and my kids every day. He calls us names. He is still dating Vivian and I believe that is is true love. He brings her to sleep over in our house and they both treat me like a maid.

When he found out I was pregnant the second time he beat me up and left for months. I was scared that he was in trouble. I went to tell his mother about the situation and she told me her son is fine, that I deserve what I'm getting as I forced him into marriage. I swore never to complain to her again. She doesn't even care about her grandchildren and have never invited my kids and I to family functions.

He calls me a school dropout and tells me I'm worthless, he says all these in front of the kids and I'm starting to feel worthless. He always compares me to Vivian, he always says he wish it was she who he married. He promised to leave me once his father hands over the family business to him.

I have begged him severally that I want to go back to school or learn a trade. He said I'm free to but he won't sponsor me. I don't have a job or money.

I know he'll leave one day and never come back, right now he leaves for months without telling me his whereabouts. I don't know how I'll be able to cater for the kids alone. We have 4 kids and I am pregnant at the moment.

I'm scared and depressed. What can I do to get out of this situation?

Hello @renderhelp,


My husband doesn't love me, in fact he hates me, he hates our kids also. He abuses us physically and emotionally.

His claims I trapped him into marriage which is a big lie.

I come from a very poor home. My parents are farmers at the village. I stopped schooling at the age of 12 due to poverty, we could barely even feed then.

My parents decided to put the older kids to work in order to relieve the financial strain.

I was amongst them. I was taken to Lagos to work as a house help for my father's wealthy kinsman . I started out as an assistant to the chief cook in their home, my duties were strictly in the kitchen. The work wasn't so bad and life seemed better than that of the village.

About a year after my arrival I was promoted to cleaning some of the bedrooms in the house. This was the first time I met my husband.

He was the son of my boss. I had heard about him and seen him from a distance. He was hardly ever around as he schooled overseas. I was assigned to clean his room and we became close this period. He even sent for me when his room wasnt messy so we could spend time together. I was just 14 years old and he was 21.

He told me he loved me. I felt inferior to him, my vocabulary wasn't as good as his and he was well schooled. He told me he didn't care about my shortcomings. I believed him.

He had a girlfriend, Vivian, he claimed he didn't love her and he only dated her to make his mum happy. I foolishly believed. I lost my virginity to him and we had a secret relationship. I loved him so much.

I was already 5 months gone before the chief cook told me I was pregnant. I begged her not to let anyone know., she advised me. I was very scared, but I felt he would stand by me because of the love we shared.

When I told him I was Pregnant he got angry and decided I should go for an abortion. He gave me money and told me where to go to get it done. He warned me not to tell anyone. I asked him what if I die, he told me I should be ready to die for him if I really loved him. He said he would have been happy to keep the baby but he had big dreams for us. He promised to marry me and we would have more children in the future. For the first time, I slept in his room that night till dawn.

I told the chief cook I was going to remove the pregnancy and she warned me against it. This mad me worried and I hesitated to go to the clinic. He stopped talking to me and avoided me like a plague. He thought I had done the abortion. His girlfriend Vivian started visiting him more often. He even asked another maid to clean his room.

I was depressed. I dropped the money he gave me for the abortion on his bed. I made up my mind to go back to my village and give birth to the child there.

I decided to work for a few months before the pregnancy becomes too obvious so I could save money for the baby. He had traveled overseas by then. The staffs started gossiping about me and the madam got to know about it. She called me into her room and asked me to tell her how I got pregnant since I was kept under her custody and the village people would talk about it.

I told her it was her son and she beat me up, kicking my stomach severally and calling me a liar and a prostitute. She called her son on he phone and he denied it. I felt worthless. She beat me up again and warned me not to come close to her house and family, I was kicked out of the house.

To be honest, the beating she gave me didn't hurt as bad as how my baby's father denied me.

I got to the village and told my parents what had happened and the were disappointed in me. My father and I came back to Lagos to meet with his mother. We weren't even allowed to step into the compound. We waited outside the gate for about an hour until the police came and arrested my father.

I was devastated and I went back to the village.