Abeg where my vaseline

Funny beliefs we had as kids
1) if your hand is itchy it means
somebody is gonna give you money
2) If its Raining and the sun is Out Shining just know that melu is borning. LoL
3)You can get white fingernails by singing "leke leke bamboo" whenever you see a flamingo
4) If you whistle at night spirits would visit you
5) red rubberband would suck your blood when worn on the wrists
6) If you cross someone's leg it means you are transferring bad luck
7)When we were young and lost our teeth/tooth, we run round the house 7 times then throw it on the roof of our houses otherwise it wouldn't grow (i actually did this one *coversface)
you can know the sex of ur next sibling through the shape of the lines on your palms
9) If you see any BLACK cat, in short any cat, the cat is a witch!LOL
10) if you pick money on the floor, you will turn to yam
11)Put a finger in the dogs eyes and rub it in your's and you will see evil spirit
12) if you eat while standing the food would not enter your body
13) If you kill a wall gecko you would wet the bed that night
14)if u bend to look between ur legs in the market ,u will see spirits.
15)if a boy kisses u as a virgin...u are pregnant automatically. LoL
16)apply ur saliva on your navel and a running stomach would stop
17) if u eat in ur sleep, you have been initiated” I'm still afraid to eat in my sleep, I always force myself to wake up
18) If you see a light-skinned girl who is really beautiful and has long hair, then she's got to be a mamiwater
19) If your food drops on the floor, its wrong to pick it back up because Satan has eaten it
20)You can forcefully suspend a hawk in midair by singing " ole fowl turn round and fall", repeatedly
21) if you have grey hairs on your head or sweat on your nose you are gonna be rich( i have these two things o. money must be on d way)
22) if you place any part of your body in an awkward position and a fly touches you, you are going to be like that forever.


Which one did i forget
CC: lalasticlala
cc: myd44
cc: seun

This is the shocking and unbelievable moment an Igbo businessman removed all his clothes in public and went n*ked over a debt owed him.


The businessman stripped completely naked in Abuja over debt

An Igbo businessman who must have been left with no option has done the unthinkable by stripping totally n*ked to curse a rich man owing him money in Abuja.



The businessman went to the rich man's house and laid curses on him and gave him ultimatum to give him back his money or face the consequences. He also claimed the debtor had threatened to lock him up if he continued to demand for his money.



The incident took place at the alleged debtor's house No. 71 Ali Akilu Crescent, Abuja. The footage was shared online by Banke Adetoro.

see the way they just put it as if its only Davido from Nigeria. Mc Galaxy sekem is also on the soundtrack.

hobermener:
Nothing irritates me like no. 2. Wtf is catchment area Brilliant students who are supposed to be offered admission are being turned down in favour of mediocres who happen to hail from a particular zone where the school is situated Nigeria still has a long way to go

Mister man catchment area admission is present in almost all countries including America, or don't you know that in America they favour blacks with lower scores than whites sometimes

...

i'm planing of marriage but the question is can 30,000 salary sustain both of us ?she is a graduate but no work yet. i need your advice.

I so love Igbo people,i love their lifestyle, culture, language, people e.t.c. i wish i was one of them, unfortunately i was born into a useless tribe called yoruba, is there any way i can officially change my tribe to igbo? Please i need an answer

Yet another feud might just be brewing with the recent epistle published by ace comedian/singer, Koffi Idowu Nuel, popularly known as Koffi.

Taking to his Instagram account, he spared no words in tanning the image of Kiss Daniel and his G-Worldwide crew in a two part epistle titled: “Who Will Wake Daniel With a Kiss?“





In his words:

“First artiste to ever have a number 1 and number 2 video on the MTV Base countdown for weeks. First new artiste to ever drop an album without any major industry collabo. First artiste to blow up within a short period of time yet like Burna Boy hardly headlines any major shows, why? Let it be known that Mr ‘Jombo’ truly did not come into the music scene to ‘woju’, he proved his mettle ‘Laye’, and has been having a ‘Good time’ with his ‘Mama’ from ‘Sin City’. This express ride might be short lived however if our favourite fine boy does not cut the double face act,” .

Not stopping there, he took major jabs at Tuface and M.I, over their lost mojo mildly thriving still because of their perceived humility.

He continued:

“This write up is not to attack the Lion but to let the people around him know that if care is not taken a wounded dog like Chuddy K, W4, Ice Prince, Ikechukwu, D’Prince (who is no longer here) will be better than a dead Durella.”

He ended his epistle with a stern warning to Humblesmith noting that he

“only writes about those he loves and is passionate about their progress.”

Koffi’s pain seems to be coming from the lackadaisical attitude G-Worldwide has towards Kiss Daniel’s brand with their refusal to grant any interviews before and after Kiss Daniel’s album dropped.

No words yet from Kiss Daniel and his team.

What do you guys think about this? Let me know in the comment section.



#ComicTruthByKoffi /2 Who will wake Daniel with a kiss? First artiste to ever have a number 1 and number 2 video on the MTV Base countdown for weeks. First new artiste to ever drop an album without any major industry collabo. First artiste to blow up within a short period of time yet like Burna Boy hardly headlines any major shows, why? Let it be known that Mr 'Jombo' truly did not come into the music scene to 'woju', he proved his mettle 'Laye', and has been having a 'Good time' with his 'Mama' from 'Sin City'. This express ride might be short lived however if our favourite fine boy does not cut the double face act. The fans see a sweet young man on the tube but behind the works the G worldwide king's manager is killing the brand. A facade of humility is sold to the public, but the arrogance beneath is as hot as magma flowing from an expired volcano. Hot but soon becomes ash or turns solid stones that go nowhere when it cools off. I don't know how these Actistes suddenly get the airs of "I too mush" and throw caution to the winds. They surround themselves with sycophants. Milking maids in the name of managers. How can a young man see such breakthrough in life and gradually poke posterity in the eye. Laying bad tracks along your career path that you won't be able to thread upon on your way back. Right now we all know that like Mr M chairman I, King Tuface (2Baba) is barely churning out any hit songs but humbility has got them going even if their concert wowo small. Here you are an advanced 'Photocopy' version of 9ice and you ain't picking points from what happened to your original progenitor despite his huge success(only Naija nigga to play at Mandela's birthday) . Album is a few weeks away and the management of an artiste turns down major interviews, over bills clients for gigs and would rather arrogantly stay home on each of those days and loose mileage, connect and some rabar. Go and ask D'banj if he would dare make such a mistake again in his life. This write up is not to attack the Lion but to let the people around him know that if care is not taken a wounded dog like Chuddy K, W4, Ice Prince, Ikechukwu, D'Prince (who is no longer here) will be better than a dead Durella. Wake up my dear dream interpreter let God not judge you wrong. Shaddout to humblesmith too for not coming anything close to his name whilst a veteran like Ras kimono is turning up at every show killing it and staying on fleek. Oritsefemi be careful, it was not a publicity stunt, you and Danku got whipped due to his dumb managerial ability, retrace your steps before the 'Mercies of the Lord' abandon you finally. I don talk my own but as usual my mouth dey smell, make I run go back studio go tidy up recording on my #CollaboraShunz album, all of una dey craze with the yeye social media frenzy wey dey make una loose common sense. Wait till African china koboko flog you na dat time your eye go clear maybe you sef go become video director like Banky or just dey nowhere like J.Martins wey Alhaji Tekno dey use hin style dey humbly take collect mula. 1! #IDGAF @koffithaguru aka Casper aka Beast ‎is Nigeria's most versatile comedian, actor, singer, producer, orator, righter! . #TheComicTruthByKoffi is not personal. ‎ He only writes about those he loves and is passionate about their progress. You can catch some more honest opinions on his #KoffiweeklyDigest on www.youtube.com/funnykoffitv He recently dropped new singles featuring Bovi, chigul, Cee.Y, Diana Bada off his #CollaboraShunz LP www.koffioutofcontrol.com koffi.latenightgist.com

lol

Only you ask, only you come answer

ok

...

This is a legit psychological test [color=#000099][/color]

mabell:


You know, some of you dont really know who men of God are. Every pastor I know is a giver, Pastror Chris is one of the greatest givers ive known. You you know how much he spend to reach the world for Jesus. Rhapsody is not for making money, He gave 10 million free copies to Nigeria last year,right now we are didtributing free bibles to millions.He is so focussed on his calling and assigment that he doesnt even recognise if critics exist. If pastor Chris knows what i am doing , he will rather commend it.

my sister what do you mean by free copies. There was massive donations by church members that would cover the production cost times 10. So it wasnt free but paid by members

According to the report, Prophet Bushiri sells Blood of Jesus in bottles with 500ml bottle selling at R20 000 and 750ml at R30 000…
An unconfirmed report by Mzansi Live has revealed that a prophet in Malawi sells what he calls the ‘blood of jesus’ in plastic bottles.
The man whose name was given as Prophet Shepherd ‘Major 1’ Bushiri is the founder and leader of the Enlightened Christian Gathering (ECG).
The report has it that the ECG ministries has launched the “blood of Jesus”. According to the report, Prophet Bushiri sells Blood of Jesus in bottles with 500ml bottle selling at R20 000 and 750ml at R30 000.
Someone who professed to be a loyal member of ECG ministries revealed that the blood heals every calamity and problems. Hear him:

“We have been using anointing oil which is called “The Lion of Judah” before and we have been using anointed mantles, bracelets and DVDs but this time the power is released. Major 1 introduced “The Blood of Jesus” which is real blood of Jesus which was extracted at Calvary when the Son of God was crucified.”
“As sons and daughters of Major 1 we don’t really care what people will say, we understand this revelation as a ministry (ECG family), people are on the move to drag our fathers name into disrepute but God elevated him to address our problems.”
“The blood of Jesus is being sold at our worship center the smallest bottles 500ml costs R20 000 and the 750ml bottle costs R30 000. We don’t care about the price but the results, as we are speaking the Blood of Jesus has resurrected reported five people and healed hundreds since launch.”
For now, the reports remain unfounded as efforts to get a comment from ECG spokesperson were fruitless, since he is reportedly in Mauritius on holiday.
However, the prophet and shepherd Bushiri has been on the news in Malawi for questionable behaviours and controversial miracles. A video of him allegedly walking on air also went viral not long ago.

What a costly joke! A policeman nearly died while trying to demonstrate to his wife how criminals are hanged…
A 26-year-old police constable is in a critical condition after he accidentally hanged himself at his residence in suburban Bhandup, while demonstrating to his wife how criminals are hanged.
According to police, the constable, identified as Govind Balaji Devde, attached to Local Arms division of Mumbai police, was showing how a noose is prepared and death row convicts are hanged.
The incident took place around 4:30 pm, after Govind returned home from work at around 3.30 pm. According to the police, Govind’s wife complained to him that the incessant rains would not allow their clothes to dry. She therefore requested that he helps her tie a line indoors where they could hang clothes while it rains. However, after doing his wife’s bidding, Govind went into a foolhardy demonstration!

“After coming home, his wife told him that due to incessant rains the washed clothes were not drying up. She asked him to tie a string inside the house in order to dry the clothes. After fixing a clothesline, Govind took a sari and began to prepare noose,” a police officer said.
“In order to demonstrate to his wife how a person is hanged, Govind put the noose around his neck. It was at that time the stool on which he was standing slipped and he started struggling for life. He remained in suspended position for some time,” he said.
Govind’s panic-stricken wife raised an alarm and called her neighbours for help, who took him down after cutting the ‘noose’. He was rushed to a nearby hospital. This was how the 26-year-old policeman nearly died out of a jocular but costly demo!
According to police, he is in a critical condition and is undergoing treatment.

The first picture is our ICT minister, Adebayo Shittu . He is in his 60s. The second picture is Kenya's ICT minister, Joe Mucheru. He is in his 40s. Are you still wondering why Mark Zuckerberg chose to meet with him and not Shittu? Zuckerberg came to Africa to meet African youths, he did not come to meet Africa's elder statesmen!

Many are mad, but few are roaming. Lol..

15. When you smile at a fine babe in the club and her friend is the one that smiles back.

14. When you storm off hoping the market woman will call you back but she lets you walk away.

13. When the last match casts your sweet bet slip.

12. When you pay for her plane ticket and another man picks her up at the airport.

11. When the ATM finishes making the ‘krrrrr’ sound, but nothing comes out.

10. When you tell her you love her and she says she loves you too… like a brother.

9. When you’re about to enter her DM and she posts an ‘I just said yes” engagement picture.

8. When you’re moving in for a hug and she stretches out her hand for you.

7. When your card gets declined on your date after you’ve finished eating.

6. When you’re arguing with your boyfriend and he is confidently missing the point.

5. When you get credit alert and you check and see N20 POS Loyalty.