I and my wife have separated for some weeks now due to some irreconcilable differences to give ourselves some space and which nobody know where it will finally end and we will not be meeting.However,one of the basic challenges since the separation is coping with sexual urge.In all sincerity i dont want to commit adultery pending the outcome of the separation and nobody knows how long it will last or whether it will finally lead to parting away.I also know that my wife due to her very high sexual drive is not finding it easy as well.Last time She sent my a text which when i read meaning behind it, is more like,that the urge is much on her,cant cope and probably seems like she has messed up(started messing up) with men or started dating other men.However,i want to use this separation time to seek for God's direction especially over the union and one of my challenge is sexual urge.Truly,its not easy,most times,i will be disturbed and some nights i find it difficult to sleep,even though my wife attitude/text message somehow portray that its likely she has already had messed up sexually/started dating another man,but i dont want to fall,atimes i even feel like to masturbate,but it is also a sin to do so.How can one be engaing in adultery and masturbation and yet be praying?.I cant engage in any of the two and yet have a clean mind to pray.My conscience will keep disturbing me that i wont be able to pray or anytime i want to pray if i do so.I have been taking all necessary precaution including keeping myself busy,avoid staying in a lonely place,praying anytime i have the feeling,keeping away my mind from it,stopped going to any place that will make me vulnerable to it,etc,but all to no avail as the urge is still high and quite distracting.Please kindly advice on what you think i should i do.

Is it the lady that is marrying(sponsoring) the man or the man to the lady?,by giving him all these money.

Hmmm, chosing between: (beauty,hot,sexy and good sex) and (Good character)?. Wch of them gives joy and happy marriage?.

You have lived with this lady for two years and can tell more.But one thing i want to tell you is that the worst marriage is trying to manage marriage(character).YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THE PERSON's CHARACTER even after marriage.The mistake people used to make is that...:you know marriage is not easy,marriage is not bed of roses,na small small,with time .....,make una dey manage am,bla bla bla.Thats nonsesnse.I fall into this "normal talk" from people and today,it never help me out despite all i tried to manage and change her.Its like a hell.Oga,please take your time and look into the marriage and know whether you will continue or not.Marriage institution suppose to be a happy one and not a hell fire.I am telling you the truth,look into the matter,then decide.

What exactly did this lady do,did she sleep with another man before the husband started acting like this by denying her sex because for all I know igbos don't take adultery lightly,seeing another man slept with their wife and there are some part of nsukka that if a woman commit adultery,it will start manifesting through bad things that will be happening to the husband until the woman confesses and some traditional cleansing performed,that may d only condition that can make the man be acting all these drama,but if not,then what the man doing is wrong.

George22016:
Seems you aren't fucking her well.

I banged a lesbian.from that moment she ceased being a lesbian. As in all her magazines she threw them away.My D*ck Changed her idealogy

I guess ur cucumber is not as long as mine

I don't think that's the cause for If a man can last between 35min-45min with good banging and all that follow before coming down,besides my thing is average,so what else do the woman want.

It baffles me that I am always the first to initiate sex with my partner.This is because anytime I will start it,she is already in the mood that we don't even need pre-intimacy but to start the action immediately.This is like somebody that is very hungry and cannot say she want to eat but once you bring food,she wont even have time to pray before eating but rather jump into the food immediately.When the action starts d way she will be enjoying it-moaning so loud,speaking in different tongues etc begging she needs more and more non stop banging,pls don't remove it ooo,sex is sweet meen!!,I need more and more,thank you very much,etc,just different kinds of talk during d action baffles me.I have asked her severally so you need all these and enjoy it like this yet you will keep quiet dying in silent,why can't you tell me to give it to you but always chose that I first initiate it,yet when we start,you will be the one enjoying it most.She couldn't provide any reasonable answer to it.Many atimes I have caught her in a state of being Hot-touching and romancing herself where she did not suppose to and on many occasions I sat her down and told her that what she is doing is wrong,that she should not feel shy asking me for sex anytime she feels it,as it is her right,but all I have explained keep happening.What should I do as I don't like this persistence attitude.

dollyjoy:
Why not explore alternative preventive measures, i don't think there is one like that.

Alternative preventive measure for years has been withdrawal method but can fail atimes.Being used without condom had made love making a sort of unpleasant unenjoying exercise anytime condom is intended to use,and that why asking if there is a condom that can give same pleasure no matter the cost.

Please can somebody recommend the most sensitive and pleasurable condom for couples that are used to flesh to flesh love making.What i mean is,there is no doubt that love making without condom among couples are "sweeter" and pleasurable than with condom,and for couples that are used to flesh to flesh is now finding it difficult to be enjoying love making with condom as they dont derive any pleassure from it atall.Please is there any condom to recommend that when using it,it will be the same as if it is flesh to flesh because of the kind of pleasure you will deriving and will not notice you are using condom as you wont notice any diiferent between it and flesh to flesh.

benedima:
Op, I think I understand what you're facing whenever you're to be interviewed. Don't think it's witch craft from your family or your friends who don't wish you well. Please do not follow the suggestion by those who said you should smoke weed or drink little alcohol before going for interview. If you do those things, you will successfully ruin the interview.

Let's start like this, when you see a very beautiful elegant rich sweet lady that looks like an angel and she's in front of you and you want to initiate conversation with her, at first your mind will start to fail you that she won't accept right Or she might even look down on you, if later you gain the confidence and decide to initiate the conversation, you will start picking your words one after the other, Y are you doing this, it's because you don't want to say what will offend her and piss her off. Am I right.

Now let's assume that you see this wowo gal in your area and you decide to initiate conversation with her, am sure you will start any how and you might not even bother about your choice of words,. Now y are you doing this, it's basically because even if she doesn't accept , you have nothing to loose.

The essence of my above story is to make you see that what you're facing is the fear of failure. You're seeing this work to mean a lot to u and u can't afford to fail the interview. If you see it this way, you won't be able to build confidence that you can do it and you will continue to look yourself as a less suitable candidate for the job.

Solution is that you should look down on every interview you come across, be ready to praise yourself even higher than the company itself and don't be intimidated by those people interviewing you because they are not God, they are normal human being and they are still same people that goes to the toilet just like you. Never inhabit fear of failure rather take the interview like the normal interview you've been failing over time and no different. So if you pass, fine and if you don't, struggle continues. Your inability to want to let go of the job will always bring fear of failure to you.

So in your next interview instead of looking down on your self, please look down on the job and the interviewers and the confidence will come. I was once in your shoe before I came out of my shell.

Best of luck

Thanks, and thanks for all those that are offering me a solution to this. I appreciate.

I can boldly speak in a congregation, or any gathering and to any level of people with confidence,but for some time now,i discovered that anytime i attended an interview i will be jittery and talk without confidence.My heart will even be beating as soon as i enter into the interview room to meet the interview panel.My body will be shaking and i will lose control while talking.I cant gain confidence during the interview process but can only be myself once the interview is over.This has cost me a lot of jobs.Please what should i do to regain confidence during job interview.

Who cares?? Go and sit down joor with your sponsored ass licking lazy yellowbar protesters.Nonsense!!.You think this is lagos you and your Tinubu husband hold hostage and they keep licking una ass and worshiping you and ur hubby like an Idol.Local Champions!!.Dino my man ride on jare!

Tinubu used your money and amassed wealth,properties,estates here and there,yet nothing happened,rather you keep on licking his ass and worshiping him.The wife is using stolen millions to bribe you to be staging protest over Dino Melaye,you agreed.Shame you yellowbar lazy ass lickers!!!.But look at,just laptop you killed your fellow human being.

emmanuel596:
Its not all about the pre wedding pictures
It's Nt all about how many people attended the wedding
It's not all about how much was spent
It's not all about the kind of car that carried the bride....


It's about how long the marriage will last
How well the couples will endure and tolerate each other...how often they pray and plan together...pre wedding pictures are too overrated these days....my parent never had pre wedding pictures but they are 33yrs 2geda

Nice talk,hope its not lustful attraction-big booty lusting.Remember such attraction doesnt last as a time will come when such will start to neausates you and you start looking elsewhere.The end product you.

7agaza:
OP are you this naive? so you dont know the difference between time of upload and time at which the picture was taken?


Recieve sense.

Thank you for educating the illiterate OP who happens to be one of Tinubu ass licker. Ride on Dino!

What is this mon.key talking about.

This woman has tested a d.i.ck better than Emeka's own and the d.i.ck owner is fuelling this crisis further advising her to dump Emeka and come and officially come and claim what she was enjoying in secret,otherwise he will take another woman if she is not serious.Please let her go.

DaudaAbu:
No wonder they are seriously seeking immunity so he can impregnate her with nobody able to sue him

Lol. However OP made a good point. Yellowbars are..........

When the demon left her,you will soon her Cossy is now born again and an Evangelist.Watch out,she will soon be tired of all these.

We all know that the most beautiful tribe in this country are Igbos and the South South ,followed by North Central,followed by North West/North East,while the most ugly tribe know themselves. Let anybody that hate truth come and route me wrong.

wait ooo,how will nairaland brought two persons together since it is not like facebook or other social network where you can communicate to somebody through name or phone number and establish relationship?.Please i need to be enlightened.

The type of post that are supposed to be making front page and not Tonto Dike do this and that.

Hmmm,but honestly Konji is very bad.Loneliness promotes Konji.If James came when the families were arround,he wouldnt have sexual feelings over the girl,but because it was two of them alone in the flat,the urge quickly crept in.I can recall most time when madam wasnt at hand and nobody is in the house only i and the househelp,i will most atimes start having sexual feelings over her,very young sweet girl that everything both inside,front and back is still fresh .It is natural for most men.To overcome it,i will quickly prepare and leave the house.It is always said that to avoid sin,distance yourself from devils orchard.So make una no blame James too much oo.Quite a percentage of men do sleep with their house help oo or Nanny and madam did not know.

I have asked her after the marriage and on many other occasions when i started observing such communications if she and the man made any 'covenant'. she said no.What actually annoyed me most since two days ago till now was first,i can recall vividly after the marriage i started noticing such to the extent that i have to call the man on phone then and explain to him the need to stop these communications since she is now married,the man was sounding harsh and said that 'i will still see',till today i don't know what he mean by that statement,when i then changed her sim card.I sat my wife down severally times that ex boy or girl communication in marriage destroys marriage,that there is no gain on it and that the very time we got married,i and my ex cut off permanently that till date neither she nor i didnt call each other and dont even know where any of us are,not that if she or i want to trace the contact of each other that we wont find it,but it does more harm than good in marriage.Recently when i saw their whatspp chat and what they are chatting there and phone communication,i cautioned her that i have been warning her about this her ex and she still keep on communicating him,that i dont want to see such again unless she will pack her things and go and stay with the man,or go back to his family house.The irony of it is that she is even the one that initiates communications-both on chat and phone call.I deleted the man number from her phone.But,I was shocked still seeing her calling the man few days ago and the man also calls her.That means they have still been communicating since then in my absence only that i happen by chance see this one.
Secondly,last time,there is one man still from their side as well,(pls i dont want to mention what happened),but i have to pick her phone and told her in my presence to send an sms to this man and told him"that she is cutting off the communication between them and whatever whatever",she text it and sent and i deleted the man number.Surprisingly,after like two weeks,i noticed that she called the man.She has to go the extent of sourcing for the man number again and give him a call.That day,not knowing that i knew that she called him,i asked her,since that time i told you to cut off the communication with that man,have you ever for one day called him again,She said "NOOOO,how can she do that,somebody she stopped communicating since then even the number was deleted that day and she doesnt have his number again".She lied and lied.I was so upset and nearly ran mad,when i then brought her phone and asked her who has this number and this call-the number was not saved with any name,she kept quiet and say,eeehmm,it was the man that called her,i told her that she is a liar and i opened the call log and showed her the outgoing call log she first made to the man,before the man later called her back.i was so annoyed,yet i let it go.
So the two above made me to even as i am typing this text,i am still very angry since day before yesterday,that after all my caution and warning to her having caught her by chance,she still ignore my warning and secretly communicating and thats what pained me most and i cant bear this again.

Pls advise,my wife of 6yrs in marriage still secretly communicate with her ex-boyfriend.She and i are from different tribe and when we married,during the first year of the marriage,i later discovered that the guy he normally speak with on phone,even at mid night call then is her ex-boyfriend,two of them speak the same language and i dont understand their language.I sat her down and advised her to cut off any communication with the man as i have done so with my own ex-girl,knowing quite well that it will cause more harm than good.Two of them still keep on secretly communicating,until i have to change her sim card.Though that may not deter them from communicating as i dont understand their language.Recently,she travelled and the time she came back,the chat i saw in her whatsapp chat log(not what i can mention here) shocked me-with that same ex-boyfriend which she saved his name with another thing,but i got to know that it is he tru their shocking chat even though the man just got married few months ago.When i confronted her,she first denied,until when i show her the evidence.Again,i cautioned her and delete the man number from her phone,suprisingly,she still calls this man,and the man calls her as well-she will quickly delete the call from call log,few days ago,i took her phone for repair,behold that same man was calling her when i was with the phone but i did not pick it.Two days ago,i noticed she called the man and that made me got annoyed when i confronted her with evidence,she said atimes d man may need advice from her since she got married before him.I told her so you are now a marriage counsellor and that i am sure that she cannot boldly call the man's wife and introduce herself as her hubby ex-girlfriend if truly her conscience is clear,and that this is getting out of hand,I was really annoyed.Pls advise,because i m getting fed up of everything.Thanks

Thanks for all the comments and contributions.The irony of it all is that both of us are graduates and i feel somehow seeing her going for house help and splitting the family from being together.Thats why i am a bit against such job and was advising her if there is any way we can find alternative just with time.

Phema:


I think they are also trying to avoid house rent. The accommodation that will be provided for the wife sounds like a plus to them.

@OP, I can imagine what you and your family are passing through at the moment. I know things must have been very difficult, for your wife to consider taking on such job and living away from her family.

Is your wife educated? If yes, to what level and what certificate does she have? If no, does she have any handiwork? Is this job honestly the last resort? What is the nature of the job? Is it one that will give her sometime to better herself by learning a craft? Will she be given sometime off to be with her family when the need arises?

30k job with accommodation isn't so bad though. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It should serve as a means to an end. I will suggest she picks the job, develops herself along the line while you try to find your feet. Please, get your family to live together under same roof the moment you can afford to. The kids should not be denied the love and warmth of both parents for a long time.

Just know that "this too shall pass". It is just a phase. Be focussed. Work hard and pray hard. It will be well.

There is an accomodation challenges.While the house help job will provide her for an accomodation,i have to find may be a friend's place i can stay with.

I have been out of job for some months now and my company did not pay me "upfronts" and i have been applying for another job,but have not gotten by now.Before now,my Wife has not been working and taking care of the family has been from my monthly salary.However,i have been facing financial challenges as no other source of income and not even a savings.My wife brought the idea of taking the kids to the village to stay with my mother in-law while she will go and pick a house help job of thirty thousand naira and they will provide accomodation and free meal to her,then i have to look for where to hang arround(stay) and be 'hussling'on my own on anything that come my way pending when things normalise and all of us will unite again.I told her that i dont think such a house help job is the best idea,even though i never for now has any other option on what to do.So,is sending my wife to house help job the best option?,pls advise.