A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!" 

A blonde was driving down the highway when she read a sign saying, "Clean Restrooms Next 10 Miles." She was really late for her appointment since there were 26 restrooms to clean.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are on vacation in London England. They decide to take a ride on one of London's famous double-decker buses. There are two seats left on the bottom of the bus and only one seat in the top of the bus available when they board. They decided to take turns riding in the top and flipped a coin to see who got the first turn. The blonde won the toss. Fifteen minutes later it's the redhead's turn, so she walks up the stairs, and sees the blonde sitting there scared half to death. She's clutching the seat in front of her so hard that her knuckles are white. "What's wrong?" the redhead asks. "We're havin' a grand old time down below." The blonde replies, "Yeah, but you've got a driver."

Two blondes and a brunette are hanging off the side of a mountain, and decide to see who can stay there the longest. They've been there for about 2 hours when the brunette says "I know, lets sing a song to keep us amused. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands".

A young blonde farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there. "Daddy isn't home, but I know what you want and I can help you," she says. "You want our bull to service your cow. Well, Daddy charges $100 for his best bull." "That's not what I want," the neighbor says. "Well, we do have a young bull who's just starting out. Daddy charges $50 for him," the girl says. "That's not what I want," the neighbor sternly says. "We have an old bull out in the pasture. He can still do the job. Daddy only charges $20 for him," says the girl. "That's not what I want. I came here to see your father about your brother," the neighbor explains. "Your brother, Henry, made my daughter pregnant." "Oh! Well, you'd better talk to Daddy about that," the girl says, "cause I don't know what he charges for Henry."

Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money? - She sold her car for it.

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Wud continue wen I receive some response

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest habited island. They decide to swim to the nearest habited island. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back.

There was a fire at the blonde's house and she called 911. "You have to come over and help me my house is on fire." "Ok, lady calm down. How do we get there?" The blonde states " Duh?? The big red truck."

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, 'What is Easter?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful...' 'Wrong!,' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, 'What is Easter?' The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.' St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'What is Easter?' The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is.' 'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously. 'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.' St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, 'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.'

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor." "No, from all that skipping."

How do you amuse a blonde for hours? -Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead in front of the Mirror of Truth. The brunette says, "I'm the smartest person in the world." The mirror kills her. The redhead "I've got the curliest hair," and she dies. The blonde "I think.." and it kills her, too.

[/b]A man was born in 1955,but he is still alive perfectly healthy,and still 33years of age! How is this possible?

Its the year 1988

i-smoke-weed:
Akpos joke was cool. I need to get a little bit 'high' to understand the humour in the other ones

the 2nd===»69 is a sex position but the guy was inexperienced so he didn't know that. When the lady let out two farts accidentally, he thought it meant that she was gonna fart 69 times and he JƱ$τ̲̅ couldn't stand it. The 3rd===»the father couldn't let the boy get married to the gurls he wanted because he fathered them outside his marriage. When the boy complains to his mother, she tells him that the man isn't his father after all S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ he can marry anyone of those gurls.

toygod2: Thunder Clap for yu mehnnnnnnnn

. Thanks

At work, Okon and Akpors were chatting:

Okon: Akpors, I have been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have exams next week
Akpors: oh!
Okon: For example, do u know who Graham Bell is?
Akpors: No
Okon: He invented the telephone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this


The next day, the same discussion took place:
Okon: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Akpors: No
Okon: He's the author of The Three Musketeers; if you take night courses, you would know this


69
The next day, once again:
Okon: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Akpors:No
Okon: He's the author of "Confessions"; if you take night courses, you would know this

This time Akpors got seriously irritated and said; "do u know who Adewala Azeeze Saremekun is?"
Okon: No
Akpors: He is your neighbor s.crewing your wife since five months ago. If you stop taking night courses, you will know this 

[b][/b]69
A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69. “What do you mean?” he asked. Not knowing quite how to explain she said, “You put your head between my legs and I’ll put my head between your legs.” Still unsure but willing, he agreed. As soon as he got his head between her legs, she let out a rip-roaring fart. “What the hell was that?!” he asked. “Oops! I’m sorry! Let’s try again,” she said. On the second attempt the very same thing happened. He immediately got up and started getting dressed. “Where are you going?” she asked. The man replied, “If you think I’m sticking around for 67 more of those, you’re crazy!” 


REVELATION
A young man was asked by his father to bring home a beautiful bride to marry. The young man brought the girl next door but the father rejected his  choice despite all pleas. After so much persuasion the father confessed to the young man that he rejected the choice because the girl was his daughter. He pleaded with the young man not to tell his mother and he agreed. But after the sixth girl was rejected for the same reason, then he had no choice but to seek his mother's help. He narrated the whole story to his mother. He was however shocked that the mother didnt get angry. She told him thus: You see! my son, you can marry any of your choice out of the six girls. Ha mama! You mean I should marry my sister? Says the son. Mama then replied: They are not your sisters!  The son said: How do you mean mama? Mama replies: HE IS NOT YOUR FATHER!!!

Aizebioje: YAWNS...Seriously,where do U guys geh dhs jokes 4rm?

This just goes to show that you aren't smart enough to grab the joke

Aizebioje: YAWNS...Seriously,where do U guys geh dhs jokes 4rm?

This just goes to show that you aren't smart enough to grab the joke

AT HEATHROW Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.

As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:

"IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING."