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Nairaland Forum / Soulchild1's Profile / Soulchild1's Posts
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, to me - I might not be able to marry or date , it is for me like a bad movie leaving a bitter taste in my mouth, Just reminds of the scene in the "the Best Man" when the bridegroom just discovered that his girl cheated on him with his best man and their love scene always crosses his mind in front of the altar. Its definitely difficult to handle esp when you don't want to loose contacts to friends, family members and others. I just think that the society right now is not that matured enough to accept or tolerate something like that. Despite of the fact that it might not be well-regarded in the society, it would also cause me personally some nightmares. Not knowing how many people have had sex with her/him already, once they have this stamp as a prostitute it is hard to get ridd off. Nevertheless I think they still have to be respected, because we might never know what has brought them there. |
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I can only talk for myself - I will never run away from a guy, just because I discovered he has a child. Why? Because he might not have choosen to have a child out there with somebody else. Sometimes things happen. He could have been married and it didnt work out. So if I want to accept him and love him truly, it means I have to regard this child also as a child of mine. The child didnt ask in the first place to be born and grow up with her parents being separated, so all those actions are hurting the child and they definitely dont deserve it to suffer from things they have not caused. A partner has to be for me the backbone of the other and if it is not like that, your boyfriend or husband will not develop or maintain the interest of caring for his child and I just think the child deserves his father/her mother to care and cater for them, so I dont want to be the one to discourage my boyfriend/my husband in that. The only reason that can make me run away from a guy that has a child, is when I discover, pregnating a woman or wife is for him like a game and he doesnt give a f**** about his children, then I will not go further, because I can already assume that I might not make difference with me, perhaps. 1 Like |
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Let me tell you something, for you calling her your best friend you didnt act at all as her best friend. A best friend is not supposed to start or play games with guys, you know exactly are your best friends favourite especially when you think that the friendship is more important to you. There are some certain "no-go's" in life: dont date your friends ex-boy/girlfriend, dont have something with any family members, not matter how far you are related to the person and others like your issue. You cant blame of taking it too far, because if you were in her shoes, you would act the same way, because she doesnt know that you are just playing a game. My own philosophy is guys/girls come and go, but a friendship last. I am sure, if you explain to her, how you felt about it - was just a game to you - and tell her you didnt mean to hurt her and she has cooled down, i am sure, if she is really your bestfriend, she will forget about it. 1 Like |
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To me it has to be equal or kind of equal, but this depends on the connection you have to your guy or girl. If you really like him/her and you guys are serious, there is nothing wrong in the girl calling the guy as often as he calls her, because it proves that you appreciate and enjoy his calls. and after all, what is wrong in the girl calling the guy, after all, he is the one providing your credit, so whom do you want to call with your free credit? somebody else? ![]() 1 Like |
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you cant blame the girl at all for giving you her number. It doesnt mean she wants do date or marry you. Perhaps, she doesnt have a boyfriend and just told you that. Honestly speaking, if somebody asks me IN A TEXT MESSAGE after speaking to me twice on phone, if I am interested in the person. I will definitely tell you NO! No matter what. I can even die for love for you, but that just kills everything and i am not the romantic type. Sorry! It is the same thing, if you ask a girl can i kiss you now or we went out once 2gether, guess we are dating now. There are certain moves, you got to figure out, if she feels the same vibe with you and then you will just go ahead WITHOUT ASKING. If she responds fine, if not thats life! |
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I wonder what we are still discussin on this issue, because honestly speaking it got to be clear to everybody out there, that there is something wrong in that. Otherwise we wouldnt open a thread for it, when we know exactly there isnt anything wrong in it (morally and practically) and our actions are not questioned by anybody. It is really sometimes funny, how we are tryin to fool and deceive ourselves looking for somebody helping us to wipe out our pangs of conscience. If it is not something that is practically impossible - definitely you can love a married man - then at least it should cause you morally some headaches. But then in the first place does it take you a minute to fall in love with a person or some time. I guess some time, so during that time, you are supposed to find out, if he is married and if he doesnt tell you the truth, we just discovered then another reason for dumping the guy. Even if some out there, don't see anything wrong in that and practice it, tryin to excuse themselves and defend their actions because other people do the same thing, must you do everything what others do? Are you not an individual with your own mind and body? My personal opinion and I guess, some here will share it, if you want to be respected by others first of all respect yourself. If you dont want some certain things to happen to you, then dont do it others. Because when your own turn of marriage has come and something like that happens, I am sure, you will not laugh or tell your wife/husband to bring the person home, they are free to live their love life in your presence. Just another last question: Just imagine your best friend already married, discovers her husband or wife is cheatin on her. Will you tell him/her, my Dear, na so life be? Take am easy, go find your own spouse you take cheat on your husband/wife? Just because you dont see anything wrong in that. I really doubt it. |
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Definitely it is possible to love a married man, but you have to ask yourself to which extent. Mostly the partner outside is the one loosing the game. Even if he promises to leave his wife, because they have been facing some problems and he will finally divorce her to marry you. You have to realize some things: 1. The man crossed already the limits of being faithful to his wife "at least" once to date you. So who will promise you, he won't and can't do it another time again when he has decided to stay with you and gets tired of you as he got tired of his wife. 2. Then the second question you have to ask yourself is: How would you feel as a married woman noticing that a young lady outside is trying to destroy your home. I guess, you dont want something like that to happen to you, then dont do it to others. 3. Temptation is always there and mostly sweet and to resist is quite hard, but I assume you havent found the love of your life or the kind of guy you want to get married to. So just ask yourself, can you find your luck with somebody, when you know exactly you are building it upon the unluck and unhappiness of others? 1 Like |
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To me it is something we dont even need to discuss about, because there are some certain things in life, that are definitely "No-Go-Area" and this your problem is definitely one of them. There is nothing someone can write that could justify such an action and any other thing that you think will justify this your action is just to please yourself, in fact to help you deceiving yourself, because you know already - the thing no go work at all and no good self!!!! ![]() Even, if the sister will agree to marry you, means that she also doesnt know, what is right and wrong. What does she have, what you cant find in another girl out there? Just imagine yourself, that your younger brother will ask you if you dont mind him marrying your former girlfriend? Wont you feel bad? Wont you think, that your ex-girlfriend will try to influence your brother and especially just imagine the situation, both of them walking to the altar and you know exactly that you had the girl already, dumped and f**** her! To me, no matter from which aspect you are going to look at it, it will always leaves a funny bitter taste in someones mouth. |
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Definitely you have to ask him how many other girls he is seeing, but you also have to ask yourself is he the only guy you are seeing? Is it only the man that can see other girls or also girls seeing other men? Honestly speaking, my advice to you, is pls just take it easy. Dont force anybody at all to ask you the marriage question, because you will just pressurize yourself, you will get angry and pissed because he didnt asked yet and you will just provoke and quarrel with him for no reason. In the end the guy is gone and he wont propose to you at all and you have to start from new with somebody else. So better just take it easy, find out, if he is really serious about your relationship with you and then just be yourself, the way he met you and why he fell in love with you and then be patient. He will ask you when the time has come and things are set up for it and if he wont ask you, it means, he wasnt Mr. Right. I know, it easier to say than to do, but just be patient. ![]() |
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