[b] So I have TWO good reasons why you need to
learn how to own your emotions around men:
1) If your emotions "own you" early on, you
probably won't even be able to talk to him or
date in a fun and spontaneous way that men crave.
You'll just be too FREAKED OUT to even get to the
good stuff with him - and God forbid, help him see
his way through all his potential hang-ups.
(Not that you want to, lol)
2) Men aren't ATTRACTED to women who let their
emotions control them all the time and drive
their interactions. This is ESPECIALLY true when
women act needy or overly sensitive to anything
the guy does or says. Overly needy women will
never figure out how to get to that fun, playful,
risky, passionate state with a man that brings him
close and spells "long-term girlfriend material"
in his mind.
We talked about the first reason already.
Let's talk about the second one.
Why don't men like women who are
overly emotional?
Because men NEVER feel ATTRACTION for women
that they can CONTROL.
The more control a man has over you, the less
ATTRACTION he feels for you.
The less of a CHALLENGE you are - and the more
PREDICTABLE you become - the less ATTRACTION he
feels. It's very simple.
To put it another way; if you're the type of
woman who lets her emotions TAKE OVER, then you
need to learn how to "own" them.
If you don't, you're going to have a VERY hard
time succeeding with men after a date or two.
THE FIRST STEP,
I think that the first step in learning how to
own your STRONG emotions is to realize how they're
created or "triggered."
Most strong emotions are TRIGGERED.
Something happens that "pushes a button" inside
of you and BAM!, the emotion happens before you
even have a chance to think about it.
But the fact is that these "triggers" have a
structure to them.
There are all kinds of little things that
happen during that "trigger."
One of the biggest insights that I've had about
these "triggers" is that they're usually caused by
making something that happens MEAN something
negative.
In other words, it's not the actual situation
itself that "pulls the trigger" or "pushes the
button", it's what you think it MEANS.
For instance, let's say that you've met a
great guy, went on a few amazing dates, and then
he wasn't as quick to call you and make plans as
he was at the very start.
You wait a day or two, and he doesn't even
call.
What do you usually think?
"Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe he has a
another woman. Maybe he's trying to avoid me.
Maybe he's withdrawing like those other guys
did in the past."
In other words, we make the fact that he
didn't call back MEAN all these different things.
Another HUGE insight I've had in this area is
that women allow their imaginations to take over
and imagine the WORST possible outcomes.
Then they get nervous about that outcome
happening and FREAK OUT.
The point is that most of us (men and women)
use our minds to imagine the WORST possible
outcomes for dating and relationship situations,
and it pushes all the wrong buttons, and gets us
all nervous and upset, which, of course, makes
us screw everything up.
When it comes to men, it's important that you
lose the need to make everything MEAN something,
and STOP imagining the worst.
Think about those situations when a man
doesn't call you back, or plays hard to get.
Yeah, thinking that someone is playing games
sucks, but the belief that there's a "game" going
on is exactly the kind of negative meaning I'm
talking about.
If you immediately start to wonder where he
is, what he's doing, and who he's with, you
create the game in your mind.
Then you make up pictures in your mind of him
out with other women, doing fun things without
you, etc., and it's really upsetting.
Bad idea.
This is the kind of thing that makes us do
all KINDS of stupid things that scare the other
person away, like calling 100 times a day,
asking where he was and what he was doing, etc. For more about women,their relations,sex,wears,life stlys etc, visit a get free informations at www.womenview-womenview..com.[/b]

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