source:Cute things to say to your boyfriend

Do you often have dull moments at the end of the day when you and your boyfriend sit down alone together, when you think to yourself ‘what on earth should we speak about?’ or ‘how can I pull a conversation with him?’ everyone cherishes a partner that they can communicate easily with, and whom they can have countless endless conversations with at any moment. However, not everyone has the same interests as others. So how can you choose the right things to say to your boyfriend and the right conversation topics? Below are cute things to say to your boyfriend that can easily save the day!

1) Talk about things that he likes: As odd as it might sound, your boyfriend would be thrilled if you open a topic about his favorite soccer team, or if you show excitement for the basketball game that his favorite team has just won! He will probably get too excited and start talking about it nonstop, but you do not have to do this often. If you just manage to bear with this uninteresting topic for you every once in a while, he will really appreciate it. You can manage to talk about other things that he likes too, such as his favorite music, food, and so on. Showing your partner that you care about what he likes is a priceless sign of appreciation.

2) Plan activities / vacations together: If there is a holiday coming up in a few weeks, or even months, you can always suggest interesting things that you and your boyfriend can do together. If you want to make it even more interesting, instead of just throwing suggestions up in the air, you can do some research beforehand and kick off the conversation with some prepared exciting suggestions that you both can discuss back and forth, and have something to look forward to!

3) Tackle topics of mutual interest: some topics might cause you to disagree with your partner, causing some tension in the atmosphere. Thus, think cleverly about topics that would bring you closer instead. Think to yourself: what points do we agree on? What fields of interest do we have in common? Open topics about the same travel destinations you like, the same rock band you both are fans of, the same columnist you both are interested in reading for, and their last weekly op-ed, and you would embark on a lovely, exciting, yet mellow conversation that could go on for hours before you even notice it.

4) Ask your boyfriend how was his day: after a long, tiresome, pressuring day, we would all appreciate finding sanctuary in someone who would ask us ‘how was your day at work?’ Of course in a genuine way. Ask the question showing that you really mean it, ask for details, show interest.

5) Talk about future plans: on a fine day, it is nice to open the topic of “what would we like to do in the future?” Of course, without dwelling on it, or tackling sensitive topics based on the level of the relationship at that point. Such topics could come up easily and with the flow of one to one conversations, which would be a great opportunity for you to fathom them more at that point. Just when the timing is right, without seeming to be pushy, read more continuation @ https://www./1704701359799652/

thank you guy for your contribution and am taking my time to look into it.

In this matter you will never blame yourself for follow my tip step,try to make life easy to you this is your benefit.

Are you sure about that.

source:

I have been dating a woman for 14 months, who on a daily basis tells me she loves me. She says that “I complete her” and we talk a lot about our future together.

We have had a problem because she is extremely attractive and "approachable." I refer to it as compulsive flirting. She claims as long as she doesn’t sleep with anyone but me, it’s "OK."

During the summer she was buying a car for her son and allowed the car salesman to ask her out 5 times. She said she wasn’t going to blow the deal by saying she wasn’t interested, but she hid this from me.

Recently I found several suggestive text message between her and an ex boyfriend and she claims it is the way they "bust" each other.

So we are broken up because she claims I am a "Jealous Pyscho" and I misread everything.

Every person I spoke to, man and woman has told me that sexual banter from an ex boyfriend when you are in a 14 month exclusive relationship is inappropriate.

My last email from her is she is sorry, but knows that she will hear about this for the rest of her life and doesn’t think we can get past this.

She wants me to trust her unconditionally. So I am looking for an expert opinion on whether to just walk away or continue to explain to her my feelings and the hurt that this and her other flirting has caused, even though she refuses to modify her behavior.

Some people are more extroverted by nature. They have more outgoing and flirtatious personalities. Being flirtatious is part of who they are and how they communicate with others. But, just because she is flirtatious, does not necessarily mean that she is interested in other people nor does it mean that she would cheat on you (see flirting).

As you know, however, it can be difficult to date someone who has a very flirtatious personality, especially for people who might be prone to jealousy (see anxious attachment).

In such situations, it is not unusual for the person, who is flirtatious, to try and hide or conceal their actions from a disapproving partner (see expectations and disapproval).

As with respect to her ex-boyfriend, some people remain close to their ex’s after they break-up. There is often a shared history and fond memories that make keeping in touch very rewarding (see spouse constantly talks to ex).

With regard to the sexual nature of their exchanges, her explanation is completely legitimate. When people spend a lot of time together they develop a pattern of communication which is unique to their relationship. This happens in all close relationships: within families, among friends and between lovers.

For instance, some siblings find unusual ways to bicker, some couples develop playful ways to tease each other, and close friends can tell elaborate jokes using a just a few key words.

And once a pattern of communication gets established within a relationship, people tend to use that style or pattern as long as they know each other. For example, siblings, who talk only a few times a year, quickly fall into their childhood style of communicating when they get together as adults.

So, it’s possible that your girlfriend’s playful and sexually charged style of talking to her ex is just that—it doesn’t signal her intentions, it just reflects how she’s learned to communicate with him.

But, the real problem is not your girlfriend’s behavior. That doesn’t seem to be in dispute. She knows how she communicates with others and it doesn’t sound like she plans on changing that. And in all likelihood, her style of communicating is probably a big part of her identity. If that is the case, then it would be very difficult for her (or anyone) to change.

Most likely, the real problem is how your girlfriend’s flirtatious behavior makes you feel: Threatened, jealous and insecure? Such feelings often consume people, making life miserable for everyone involved (see dealing with jealousy).

You have a couple of options in a situation like this, but none of them are all that easy.

First, you can try to change how you think about your girlfriend’s flirtatious behavior. Interpretations of situations influence our reactions. Your current interpretation probably goes something like this: “My girlfriend is more attracted to other people than me and she is eventually going to leave.” However, it is possible to view the same situation in a different light. “My girlfriend loves me to death, but she is so flirtatious she would probably even try to flirt with a lamp shade.”

Learning to think about situations differently is not easy, because our emotions often get the best of us. But, with a lot of effort and practice, people can change the way they interpret what’s going on around them.

Another strategy is to constantly share how you feel with your girlfriend. It sounds like you’ve been doing that, but there is an important distinction to make. The goal of sharing your feelings is NOT to get her to change her behavior, but to increase your understanding of each other’s point of view (see talk about problems).

By sharing your feelings and gaining a better understanding of the situation, ultimately your feelings should have less of an impact on your behavior. And sharing your feelings while also trying to understand your girlfriend’s point of view, has the added benefit of making couples feel closer.

wen you try it ,is will benefit you guy to last every thing call love to you.

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Here are some nonsexual ways to cherish your wife through words and acts of affirmation.

Just like Don ;
Don is a basketball "nut." He's the kind of sports buff who can talk nonstop about his favorite basketball teams with anybody who'll listen. One evening, Don's wife took a seat next to him on the couch. She placed her arms around his neck and asked him point-blank: "Do you love me more than basketball?"

Puzzled, Don considered her question for a long minute before answering. He finally said, "College or NBA?"

While most of us men would never make a blunder of that magnitude, we often miss the opportunity to affirm our wives. Marriage is not a spectator sport. Nor is it a place for verbal jabs or cynical put-downs. Those male digs might work in the locker room with the boys, but they're out of bounds with our wives.

What do Don's wife, your wife, and my wife need? Affirmation. Lots of it. Soft, tender, thoughtful, unexpected, meaningful, heartfelt affirmation delivered with no sexual demands attached. That's difficult for a man, I know. A man usually sets goals and generally acts only when he is after something. When it comes to romance, he's tempted to give affirmation only because he hopes to "get sex" in return.

You and I will score big when we make our goal unconditional affirmation—no strings attached. My aim is to make my wife feel loved, valued, cherished, and affirmed as the love of my life.

We all would do well to watch Solomon in action. Solomon, by contrast, referred to his wife as "my beloved" forty times in the Song of Solomon. That choice phrase is packed with affirmation. It's a romantic expression, a call to rich friendship. Each time Solomon said, "My beloved," his words clothed her with dignity and value.

What woman wouldn't flourish under such a constant stream of loving affirmation?

Here are thirty nonsexual ways to cherish your bride through words and acts of affirmation. And by the way, these are nonsexual so that you speak her romantic love language. It's important to remember that you are not doing these things to get something in return. Perhaps she will reciprocate in your language back to you, but that's not your goal. Are you ready?

1. Hug and kiss her every morning before leaving the house. Research indicates that marriages that practice this simple discipline are much healthier than those that don't. If she's sleeping, leave her a note, or gently kiss her forehead and whisper, "Have a wonderful day, sweetheart."

2. Reach across the front seat of the car when you drive and hold her hand, even for a few moments. Allow your fingers to become entwined.

3. Write, "I'm crazy about you, Honey. You're the best!" or another personal message on a yellow sticky note. Attach it to her bathroom mirror.

4. Call her from work and say, "I've been thinking of how good I have it with you in my life. Thanks for all that you are as a woman and all that you do for me and our family."

5. The next time you get a pair of tickets to a ball game, theater, or concert that she'd like to go to, make a sacrifice. Instead of going with a buddy, tuck them in her purse with a note saying, "You deserve a night off. Have fun with a girlfriend."

6. Go an entire day without criticizing anything about her. Instead, try to notice her doing something that you really appreciate, and tell her how much you value her.

7. Go to bed at the same time with her for a week; just talk or read a book and share the quietness together. Or play a card game that you used to play when you dated or were just married.

8. Brush her hair and compliment her hair and eyes.

9. While she studies her face in the mirror, come up behind her and gently kiss the back of her neck. Say, "God broke the mold after He made you. You are so beautiful."

10. Call her or send her an e-mail midafternoon and ask her how her day is going.

11. Try your hand at making breakfast on Saturday morning. Tell her she deserves a break and should feel free to sleep in.

12. Take her car to the gas station, fill the tank, vacuum the floor mats, and clean the windows. When you park it at the house, leave a note on the dash with just a heart and the words, "Thinking of you."

13. Write her a short love letter in which you list several ways that she has blessed you this year.

14. Resurrect common courtesies. Start opening the car door for her as you did when you dated, pull out her chair for her at the dinner table, offer your arm while walking down stairs, and help her put her coat on.

15. If she's doing the laundry, pull yourself away from whatever you're doing and offer to bring the hamper.

16. Put the toilet seat down when you're finished, and wash your hands. I'd estimate that 40 percent of men don't. Our wives do know. Stroking her face after you've been to the bathroom suddenly loses its romantic appeal!

17. Put down the newspaper or turn off the computer, and say, "Why don't we go for a walk and talk? I'd love to hear about your day."

18. If you overhear her engaged in a difficult situation on the phone or with a child, compliment the way she handled the conversation.

19. Initiate daily prayer with her. This one spiritual discipline has transformed millions of marriages. Make a commitment, and then begin to pray together every day. Begin by giving thanks for her and your family, then pray with her about her worries and challenges. Ask her to pray for you about a challenge you are facing.

20. Say, "Thank you," after every meal she serves. Then help her clear the table or offer to do the dishes with her.

21. If she has wrestled with a specific spiritual issue (such as gossip, envy, a lack of compassion), tell her how much you appreciate her desire to handle it in a godly manner.

22. Express appreciation for her doing the laundry and folding your clothing.

23. Each day try to say, "I love the way you _______ ," and fill in the blank with something you've observed.

24. When your wife irons your shirts or picks up the dry cleaning, say, "Thanks, Honey, for taking such good care of me."

25. When the alarm goes off in the morning, wrap your arm around her, press your body next to hers, and cuddle for several minutes. When you leave, say, "I wish I didn't have to go."

26. The next time you go to dinner, say, "You've had a tough day, Sweetie. Why don't you pick the spot tonight?"

27. When you are together in a crowd, find a way to brag on her. Say, "My wife is such an amazing cook," or "I've got the best wife—her ______ never ceases to amaze me."

28. The morning after making love, touch her tenderly, and tell her how wonderful it was to be with her.

29. With your wife in the room, tell your kids, "You've got the best mommy in the world. Isn't she great? I just love her so much."

30. Help her put the kids to bed each night.

For some men, the thought of affirming their wives sounds like a lot of work. Others are anxious about being so vulnerable with displays of affirmation. Whatever the reason, they hesitate to step out and pursue the call to love found in Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV): "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."

But this is very bad culture to her ,is not done right because that guy ave should be arrests.

source: Fall in love with your significant other again and again with these expert tips.

Love that lasts is the result of partners embedding themselves in each other’s brains in a positive way. Memory circuits and pleasure get all wound up together so that the other person becomes integral to the very structure of your brain, and you become part of the structure of his.

Here are some steps toward making your love last:

1. Take your partner's breath away. Do something amazingly thoughtful and out of the ordinary and try to incorporate an element of surprise to it: a loving note tucked into a pocket. A special dinner on an otherwise ordinary night. A playlist made up with his favorite songs. These thoughtful acts will embed you in his memory.

2. Do something special on a regular basis. Call him every day just to touch base for a few minutes. Make his favorite meal once a week. Once he begins to expect these things, you will always be close to his awareness.

3. Engage in lots of eye gazing. New couples seem to do this naturally, but don’t drop this strong bonding behavior just because the relationship has progressed. This is one way to keep the romance alive and is especially powerful when making love.

4. Learn what pleases your partner sexually. Make it clear that his pleasure is your pleasure, and you want to discover everything about what turns him on. He’ll be happy to have you experiment with him.

5. Teach your partner what you like. Likewise, making you happy will make him feel good. And research shows that the sexual pleasure of one partner increases the pleasure of the other partner.

6. Boost lasting love with sexual novelty. When things get humdrum and routine, there is not going to be as much of a hormonal/neurotransmitter reaction, and arousal is lessened. While you don't have to break out the whips and chains, a little novelty can increase anticipation, which means that more hormones are secreted. The result? Hotter, more thrilling sex for both of you.

7. Do something edgy. If you get your partner’s heart rate up, he may associate the feeling of excitement with you and he may develop more powerful feelings for you. Going on a roller-coaster ride, taking a balloon trip, shooting the rapids—anything with a touch of danger to it—can make him fall more deeply in love with you.

8. Do something great for someone your partner loves. If you show kindness and love for someone he loves, you will earn major points. When you enter a relationship, you also enter a relationship with all his family and friends. Show him that the people who are important to him are important to you.

9. Summarize and immortalize loving moments. Don’t be afraid to give voice to your love. Tell him how you feel. Write a loving note or poem. Lovers have been doing this from the beginning of time because it works.

10. Boost the chemicals of love. There are many brain chemicals that go into the feeling of love and attachment. Oxytocin is known as the bonding, trust, and cuddle hormone. Oxytocin is enhanced by watching romantic movies together, holding hands, cuddling, and long, loving eye contact. Women usually have more oxytocin than men, but according to one study, a man’s level of oxytocin goes up 500 percent after making love. Being too busy to make love pushes couples apart.

Source: Could this girl actually be 12? If this true, then the police ought to arrest him for child sexual abuse. Twitter User Davahn Moore shared these photos of himself kissing a girl he says is 12. It's currently trending on Twitter and people are responding with disgust...

source: – Police intervene into the media conflict between Linda Ikeji and Wizkid – The celebrities reportedly concluded a truce Lagos police has eventually resolved a long-drawn-out strife between a renowned Nigerian blogger Linda Ikeji and music star Ayo Balogun aka Wizkid. Recall that Ms Ikeji reported the singer to the police following his public threat to incite his 16-year-old cousin to beat her up. Dolapo Opeyemi Badmos, a police public relations officer of Lagos state police command, confirmed the incident ,Read more: http://goodwestafrican..com.ng/

source:
United States Permanent Representative to the United Nations, Ambassador Samantha Power, yesterday said Nigeria urgently needed a viable military action to end activities of Boko Haram.

The African Media Hub of the U.S. Department of State in a statement said Power also called for a regional strategy to disrupt Boko Haram’s hideouts, weapons’ flow and means of recruitment.

“The repeated attacks by Boko Haram, which have killed 27 in the Lake Chad region, require viable military action and a wider regional strategy to disrupt their safe havens, weapons flow and recruitment.

“It’s also essential that the socio-economic condition in the areas being exploited by Boko Haram be addressed and that their dire humanitarian conditions be addressed as well,” she said.

The statement also said that it was imperative for government to ensure that the rule of law was returned to the affected parts of the North-East of the country.

It added that the U.S. envoy also stressed the importance of “decisively combating and defeating armed groups” in Nigeria.

The statement also said perpetrators of violence and terrorism in the country needed to be held accountable, while the Internally Displaced Persons, IDPs, kept in safe places.

“It is really important for leaders to begin to look at the welfare of their societies.

“They should ensure stability and inclusive governance to ensure that basic dignity and human rights are protected,” she said.

In a related development, police in Adamawa State said it had uncovered plots by Boko Haram to recruit young pupils in schools and initiate them as members.

The state police command, which raised the alarm in Yola, through a statement signed by Police Public Relations Officer, PPRO, Othman Abubakar, said the ploy involved the distribution of items such as sweets, dates palm (Dabino), sugar cane, coconut to schools and young persons under the guise of philanthropy with the view to initiate them into Boko Haram and cultism.

The police therefore alerted parents, principals and proprietors of schools to caution their children and wards from receiving anything from strangers and to report such immediately to the force.

Meanwhile, President Muhammadu Buhari yesterday declared that the return of persons displaced by Boko Haram insurgency to their home communities would begin in earnest next year.

A statement issued by Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, Mallam Garba Shehu, said Buhari spoke at an audience with a delegation from the International Rescue Committee, IRC, led by former British Foreign Minister, Mr. David Miliband.

The President said his administration would do all within its powers to facilitate the quick return and resettlement of over two million internally displaced persons in their towns and villages.

The President told Miliband that the Federal Government would welcome the support of IRC and other local and international non-governmental organisations for the rehabilitation of internally displaced persons.

“In 2016, the return of the IDPs will start in earnest. They will return to their communities to meet destroyed schools and other infrastructure which have to be rebuilt.

“With agriculture being moribund in the region in the last two years without cropping, hunger is already manifest. We will welcome all the help we can get to assist the returnees,” Buhari said.

Responding to a request by Miliband for the Federal Government’s priorities as to the nature of assistance required for the IDPs, the president said there was an urgent need for support in the areas of agricultural inputs, health, nutrition, water and sanitation.

Buhari urged IRC and other international agencies to work with the Presidential Committee on the North-East and the National Emergency Management Agency, NEMA, which, he said, were already doing a lot to cater for the IDPs and restore some basic infrastructure in communities affected by terrorism and insurgency.

In his response, Miliband assured Buhari that IRC would intensify its ongoing work in Nigeria which had assisted over 350,000 displaced persons, mainly in Adamawa and Borno states.

He called for an increased security presence in recovered towns and territories, saying that most prospective returnees still feared for their safety on their return home.

source:Prince Jackson: Michael Jackson Might NOT Be My Biological Dad, But I Don't Care


Prince Jackson is admitting it ... there's a chance Michael Jackson isn't his biological parent, but he's also saying MJ is still dad.

This started when someone trolled Prince on Twitter by saying, "everyone knows you are a Rowe-Klein NOT A Jackson!!" Prince responded, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb ... I was raised by my dad with my brother and sister."

Prince's statement is the closest he's ever come to saying MJ isn't blood -- but it also makes it clear Michael is the only father he's ever known.

There have been a lot of rumors claiming Dr. Arnie Klein fathered Michael's kids with Debbie Rowe. Klein added fuel to the fire in 2013 when he compared an old drivers license pic of himself to one of Prince.

But as TMZ has confirmed, and previously reported, Michael is NOT Prince's biological father ... and neither is Arnie Klein.

Michael Jackson's Alleged Son -- POSITIVE DNA Match ... Or So They Say
Prince Jackson Testified in Michael Jackson Trial -- AEG Was Killing Dad
Prince Jackson -- Life Goes On After Paris Jackson's Suicide Attempt

OK,i will make good.

source:

Girls start the day with a prayer at the Veerni Institute in Jodhpur, India. It's a boarding school where nearly half the students are child brides.

Nimmu, 15, gets ready for class. To stay in school, she needs to pass a national test this March. The problem: "I'm not a great student," she says. Because child marriage is illegal in India, we can't use her full name.

This story is part of our #15Girls series, profiling teens around the world.

Nimmu is 15 years old. She comes from a rural village in northern India, and she's been married since she was 10.

This year she's trying to change her fate.

In Nimmu's village, when you're married young, you don't move in with your husband right away. You stay with your own parents until around your 15th birthday. That's when they send you to your in-laws.

From what Nimmu has seen, you basically lose your freedom at that point. The in-laws assign whatever chores they see fit. And you're expected to follow their orders without question or complaint.

Right now only one thing is keeping Nimmu from that life: She's at a boarding school in the city of Jodhpur. It's run by a charity called the Veerni Institute. Nimmu's in-laws have been urging her father to hand her over, but her father has agreed to hold off the in-laws and let her stay at the school as long as she gets good grades.
There are 70 girls at the boarding school, many of them from villages where child marriage is a common practice.

It's a lot of pressure. "Before, school wasn't such a big deal to me," Nimmu says, speaking in Hindi through an interpreter. "But this year I suddenly feel so much pressure, and I've become extremely serious. I want to do very well."

To continue beyond 10th grade she'll need to pass a tough national exam this March.

The problem?

"And as of now, I'm not a great student," she says dejectedly.

What Nimmu's Up Against

Child marriage has been illegal in India for years. (That's why we can't use Nimmu's full name; it's also illegal to name a minor involved in a crime in India.) Nevertheless, the practice is deeply embedded in the culture of many rural areas, and parents marry off their children all the time in secret. Nearly half of women age 20 to 24 in India were married by the time they turned 18 — with nearly one in five married by age 15, according to UNICEF. And India accounts for about a third of the world's child marriages.

We get a sense of what Nimmu is up against when we catch up with her midway through a long day at school.

It's 3 p.m. Nimmu has been in class almost continuously since 7 a.m. Now it's time for study hall. An aide pops his head in the door and barks at everyone to keep quiet. But Nimmu is worried about her math homework. She twiddles with her long braid, then pokes a friend.

"Hey!" she whispers anxiously. "Can you check this? My answer doesn't match what's in the book."
There typically aren't any high schools near the villages these girls are from. The Veerni Institute offers them free room, board and schooling in Jodhpur.

3:30 p.m. Nimmu has moved on to English class.

Seventy kids are crammed onto metal benches. It's stifling hot. Nimmu is losing focus. She starts humming to herself.

Next up, chemistry. Nimmu sighs heavily.

The teacher starts droning — and Nimmu is immediately lost.

"Sir ... we can't understand anything you're saying," she mutters under her breath, half-laughing, half-moaning. "It's like you have marbles in your mouth."

It's not until 8 p.m. that Nimmu finally gets a chance to chill in her dorm. The room is spare — no decoration on the walls, no chairs. Just four metal cots lined up in a row. Nimmu sits on one of them. Her roommates squeeze in next to her.

Everyone's giggling.
The girls take a break from the academic pressure. Some of the students were married by age 9 or 10.


"Do you whisper to each other at night?" we ask. "Yes ma'am," they say, laughing.

"What are you going to talk about tonight when we leave?" we ask. Nimmu breaks into a mischievous grin. "Ma'am, you!" she says.

In her group of friends, she's the one with the cheeky streak.
Bedtime at the Veerni Institute. Before turning in, the girls gossip about their day.

The girls are among 70 students provided with free room, board and schooling by the Veerni Institute. They're all from remote villages that generally don't have a high school nearby. About 30 of the girls are married — including every one of Nimmu's roommates.

One of them, a shy girl in a colorful headband, tells us she was 9 on her wedding day. Nobody explained what was happening during the ceremony.

"I had no idea I was getting married," she says, a little wistful.

Nimmu did know. She was matched with a boy just a few years older.

"I was married at 4 a.m. because that was considered an auspicious hour. ... I woke up and I wanted to go back to sleep, but my family wouldn't let me."

They helped her into a traditional Indian wedding gown.

"My dress was red," she remembers. "And it was very big because I was very small. And the scarf on my head was also too long."

We ask her if the gown was pretty. "No," she says, switching from Hindi to English and giving a rueful chuckle. "I don't like this."
Nimmu's older sister, Durga, holds up part of the wedding dress that Nimmu was married in. It was too big for her, Nimmu says, and too old-fashioned.

It was too old-fashioned, she explains. And the embroidery was lame.

Still, at the time, Nimmu was excited. It was a party. Then she noticed that her older sister was sobbing. She was also being married that day.

"I asked her, 'Why are you so upset? You're getting married,' " Nimmu recalls. "She said, 'You're too young to understand. You'll understand when you're older.' "

Today, Nimmu does understand. Because she sees what's happening to other 15-year-old girls in the village. This summer one of her closest friends was sent to her in-laws. Now that girl spends all day cooking and cleaning for them.

"She tells me there is no life after marriage," says Nimmu. "She has no freedom. She has to do everything her in-laws say."

Nimmu's in-laws seem to have a similar future in mind for her.

"My in-laws don't want me to study 10th grade. They're OK with it as long as I'm doing well. ... Otherwise, they say what's the point?"

Nimmu's not trying to get out of her marriage. Arranged marriage is the norm in much of India. But she does want to delay the start of her married life. She wants to wait until she has enough education to land a job. She's heard that with a high school degree, or better yet, two or three years of training beyond, even a village girl can get a job as a teacher or a community health worker or a policewoman.

Nimmu is vague about what job she could do — maybe something in an office? But she has at least seen the example of a great-aunt who has a job as a teacher and who seems to be treated with so much more respect in her family. To Americans, it might seem a minor difference to start an arranged marriage at 18 or 20 rather than at 15. But Nimmu thinks the impact will be huge on her quality of life. It's one thing to arrive at your in-laws' house as a 15-year-old school dropout whom everyone can boss around. Quite another to arrive as a woman with her own income.

"That way nobody will be able to get away with saying to me, 'You're good for nothing.' ... And even if they say it, I can tell them, 'I earn my own money. I eat off my own money. So what's your problem?' "

The Search For The Missing Report Card

It's Sunday. Nimmu's one day off. We're in the car with her driving home to her village.

She doesn't visit often. The director of the Veerni Institute is taking her today because she needs to pick up last year's report card so she can complete her registration for this term.
It's a 90-minute drive through scrubby, desert plains from the city of Jodhpur to Nimmu's village.

It's a 90-minute drive through scrubby, desert plains from the city of Jodhpur to Nimmu's village.
Poulomi Basu/VII Photo

We bump along a sandy, narrow road — flat desert stretching for miles on either side — before stopping next to a collection of concrete block huts.

Nimmu springs out of the car.

"Papa!" she cries at the sight of her father.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" he says delightedly.

She heads into her house. It's dark and cool inside. She pulls out a metal chest by her bed and starts searching for the report card.

Her father watches, a little worried. His name is Lumbaram. Like a lot of rural Indians he goes by one name.

He dresses like a typical villager — white tunic, multicolored turban. He's got a typical job among the men here as a construction worker. And he says all his life he's been taught the typical view of girls in the village: They're a burden. One more mouth to feed until you raise a dowry to pay some other family to take her off your hands.

He never accepted that idea.
Nimmu's father, Lumbaram, regrets marrying off his daughter so young. But he's trying to make it up to her. He's told her in-laws he won't send her to them as long as she's doing well in school.

Nimmu's father, Lumbaram, regrets marrying off his daughter so young. But he's trying to make it up to her. He's told her in-laws he won't send her to them as long as she's doing well in school.
Poulomi Basu/VII Mentor/for NPR

"No that's a terrible way of thinking," he says. "Even as a child I always believed a girl and boy are the same."

He can't explain why he's always felt so differently from everyone else he knows. Maybe because he never had sisters and wished for them, he muses.

Yet when it came to marrying off his daughters, the family pressure was impossible to resist. It all started because Lumbaram's younger brother needed a wife.

"There is a shortage of girls everywhere. We couldn't find a girl," he says.

It's a persistent problem in this region. Having a girl is considered such a curse that families often insist on aborting a pregnancy if they find out the fetus is female. Or they'll kill an infant girl right after she's born.

"I searched for a bride for my brother for eight years," says Lumbaram.

Finally he had to make a deal with another family: Their daughter would marry his brother, and he'd give them his eldest daughter to marry their son. It's a common trade. And here's where Nimmu comes in. She's the middle daughter. And in the village, when you arrange a marriage for one daughter, you often marry off the rest at the same time.

"We are very poor and it takes so much money for one girl's wedding," says Lumbaram. "If I get one girl married it's the same price as if I get several girls married."

Still, he hated doing it. Just talking about it he starts to choke up.

"I really cried a lot at the time," he says, after regaining his composure. "Even right now I feel like crying. It hurts to see my child going through so much trauma. It makes me so sad."

But Lumbaram has vowed to make it up to his daughters. And the Veerni Institute has given him a way to do that by paying for their education. Normally Lumbaram couldn't afford to send Nimmu to high school. She would be sitting at home, and he'd have no excuse for not sending her to her in-laws at 15. Now he can tell them, "Look, she's finishing high school."

Nimmu is grateful to her father for sticking up for her. Still, the arrangement can sometimes strain their relationship. When she does poorly on a test, she says, "He gets angry with me and tells me ... we're going to have to withdraw you from school and send you to your in-laws' house because what will I have to tell them. ... He's under so much pressure in the village."

That's why at this particular moment, Nimmu is starting to stress out. It turns out the report card is nowhere to be found, and the deadline for handing it in is tomorrow.

"Maybe it's in my trunk back at school?" says Nimmu. "But I lost the key to it."

Her father shakes his head.

Nimmu's having a typical scatterbrained teen moment. But in her situation, every slip-up feels fraught with consequences.

Nimmu borrows a cellphone to call an administrator back at the school. Can you try breaking the lock, she asks. A few minutes later the administrator calls back. The report card was in the trunk.

"Thank God!" Nimmu says, exhaling.

Crisis averted, Nimmu starts walking back to the car with the Veerni Institute's director. Lumbaram stops them. He points to a girl, lingering a few feet away. Can you please enroll her in the school, too, he asks.

"She's really intelligent," he says. "It's just that her parents don't care to educate her."

The director, Mahendra Sharma, looks pained. His budget is stretched to the max.

"I guarantee," Lumbaram continues. "This child won't cry and be homesick. She will just study."

OK, the director, agrees — he'll see what he can do.

A Pop Song Moment

On the long drive back to school, we talk music. Nimmu breaks into one of her favorite Bollywood songs. It's called "Hangover."

"I tried forgetting you!" Nimmu sings in Hindi. "The hangover of your memory!"

Suddenly, it's possible to forget that Nimmu is someone's wife, someone's property.
Nimmu on the terrace of the Veerni Institute. She's not looking to get out of her arranged marriage, but she does want to graduate and get a job first. That way, she says, her in-laws won't be able to boss her around.


For these few minutes, at least, she's just a 15-year-old girl, in the back seat of a car, singing a pop song.

Am sorry so hear that.

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No,but just know more about it

source:

Jackie Chan spotted on Kung Fu Yoga set at Atlantis, The Palm
Hot on the trail of Jackie Chan at Dubai Studio City

Jackie Chan�s latest film Kung Fu Yoga to shoot in Dubai
April 7, 1954 Born in Hong Kong

1961 Parents leave him at Hong Kong stage school

1962 Appears in first film

1976 Stars in New Fists of Fury

1982 Marries Lin Feng-jiao

1995 Plays the lead in his Hollywood breakthrough Rumble in the Bronx

1998 Makes Rush Hour with Chris Tucker; releases autobiography, I Am Jackie Chan.

source:
The journey taken by Jackie Chan, now 61, from childhood poverty in Hong Kong to Dubai, where he is filming his 127th movie, is a script-worthy story of a small nobody who fought his way out of obscurity to become the biggest somebody in the world of martial-arts movies.

He was born Chan Kong-sang in 1954 in the then-British colony of Hong Kong, to parents Charles, a cook, and Lee-Lee Chan, a housekeeper.

His parents were poor, and by Chan�s own account, came close to offering to put him up for adoption by the doctor who delivered him. In the end, they borrowed the money to pay the bill.

Chan would have the benefit of his parents� presence only until he was 7, when his father left to work in Australia, and the couple left their son behind. Much later, he would discover his mother had been an opium smuggler, while his father had also been a prominent gangland figure.

�I was shocked,� Chan said in 2014. �I thought he was just a cook.�

Abandonment proved to be a useful lesson in self-reliance. During the next decade, Chan would see his parents only rarely, but they had left him with two life-changing gifts.

The first was kung fu. Believing mastery of oriental fighting skills would teach his son �patience, strength and courage�, while he was still around, Charles Chan woke his young son early each morning to practise.

The second was a place at the China Drama Academy, which became Jackie�s home for 10 years from the age of 7.

The academy prepared boys for the Peking Opera, but in addition to singing and acting also taught martial arts and acrobatics. It was a tough life. Students �were severely disciplined and were beaten if they disobeyed or made mistakes,� recalls Chan�s official biography.

In an interview on British tele�vision in 2010, Chan revealed the routine he endured: up at 5am every morning for a long run while carrying two cups of water, which couldn�t be spilt on pain of a beating. Next, one hour of handstands, followed by intensive karate training.

�Was that fun?� he was asked.

�No,� he replied, with some feeling, �it was horrible.�

Chan had been at the school for just one year when, in 1962, he made his on-screen debut at the age of 8 in the Chinese film Big and Little Wong Tin Bar.

It was a prophetic role as Yuen Lau, a child who trains hard to break out of an ordinary existence to become a kung-fu hero.

At first, it seemed Chan would remain only a foot soldier in the army of stuntmen and extras that fed the Hong Kong film industry. Between 1963 and 1976, he churned out dozens of largely uncredited roles in largely forgettable films.

After 1973, a year in which he worked on 14 films, it looked like he had hit his high-water mark. The film industry was in decline, and jobs were suddenly so scarce that Chan joined his parents in Australia.

�I was so poor,� he recalled last year. �I was doing dangerous stunts for less than �1 [Dh6] a day.�

In Australia, working on building sites, he earned the nickname Jackie, bestowed by an Australian labourer who struggled to pronounce his real name, Kong-sang, which translates as �Born in Hong Kong�.

Chan hated the work and was �very unhappy in Australia�, but rescue was at hand. It was 1976, and Willie Chan, who had been impressed by Jackie�s stunt work, was recruiting talent for a movie being made by the Hong Kong director Lo Wei.

Lo had discovered the martial-�arts sensation Bruce Lee, launching him onto the world stage in the 1972 film Fist of Fury. Lee died in 1973, at the age of 32, and now Lo was looking for someone to star in the �Bruceploitation� film New Fist of Fury.

That is the fact
....

This article will introduce you to the single most important concept if your movie story is to connect with mainstream audiences. It’s an idea that has been in use since the first stories were told around a campfire, and today it is explicitly or implicitly embraced by every successful Hollywood film without fail.

It’s called a True Moral Premise.

In short, a true Moral Premise is a one-sentence description of the physical and psychological arcs of the movie's main characters. The Moral Premise focuses the storytelling in one direction and inextricably links the main characters' motivations with their physical action. The psychological arcs through which the characters travel relate to the virtuous or villainous decisions they make; and the physical arcs through which they travel demonstrate the natural consequences of those decisions. Research of box office receipts have shown that the consistent, true portrayal of these relationships is absolutely necessary if a story is to be successful. This is true regardless of who is directing, what stars are attached, or the size of the production and marketing budgets.
FORM OF THE MORAL PREMISE

The Moral Premise statement has four parts: A virtue, a vice, a description of desirable consequences (success), and a description of undesirable consequences (defeat). These four parts can be used to create a statement that describes precisely what a movie is about, on both physical and psychological levels. Here is the formal structure; terms in brackets are replaced with specific and logically related descriptors.

[Vice] leads to [defeat], but
[Virtue] leads to [success].

For example, City Slickers’ Moral Premise can be expressed this way:

Selfishness leads to sadness and frowns, but
Selflessness leads to happiness and smiles.

Die Hard’s Moral Premise can be described this way:

Covetous hatred leads to death and destruction, but
Sacrificial love leads to life and celebration.
BENEFIT OF KNOWING

The great benefit of knowing your story's true Moral Premise, aside from dramatically improving box office sales, is the virtual elimination of writer's block, and supercharging your writing efficiency. Remember those writing books that suggested you put a key word in bold letters above your typewriter1 or computer reminding you what the story is about -- like "PERSEVERANCE" or "INTEGRITY"? Well, the Moral Premise is the same sort of focused writing aid, except it describes not only the focus of your protagonist, but also the antagonist, and the natural consequences that result from those foci. In that way the Moral Premise can remind you more clearly what that one thing is that your movie is really about.
A GOOD MOVIE IS ABOUT ONLY ONE THING

I'm sure you've heard this before, but all successful box office movies must be about only one thing. Various contemporary screenwriting gurus use different terms in their books to describe the utter importance of this one thing, but most of them spend less than a page describing it. Robert McKee calls it the "controlling idea." Michael Tierno calls it the "action-idea" derived from Aristotle's analysis of stories. Michael Hauge refers to "theme", Syd Field the "interior life," and Christopher Vogler (and James Campbell) call it the "elixir" or the "lesson learned." And Lew Hunter suggests that it's what the film is "really about." With all these different terms (and there are more) it seemed appropriate that the one thing should have one name, and a more detailed explanation of what, why, and how this critical concept could be applied in writing and making movies.2

I decided to name this story phenomenal after the two essential traits present in all successful stories. First, all successful stories are like informal arguments that present evidence toward some conclusion. In the courtroom every piece of evidence, like the final conclusion, is called a premise. In a story the individual scenes are like the pieces of evidence or premises. Second, as the scenes and evidence piles up, the story takes us to a physical climax and more importantly a psychological or moral conclusion. It is that moral conclusion, or moral premise, on the psychological level that drives everything physical that we see on the screen. That may seem strange to some readers, so let me explain.
MORAL THOUGHT PRECEDES PHYSICAL ACTION

Every physical action taken by a human being (except those automatic responses like breathing) is preceded by a psychological thought. While a film director can only tell a story through what is seen or heard, all of the action began from something invisible—a character's motivation, or what the character thinks is important. And what a character thinks is important is totally based on that character's moral values. You might think of "motivation" as the contraction of "moral activation" or moral action. When an actor asks the director, "What is my motivation?" he or she is asking, "What's psychologically important in my character's life that would cause this action?" In short, physical action is always caused by moral thought. This is even true in "pure" action movies, which I explain in the book.

But, of course, there are two sides to everything. And without an antagonist who has values contrary to your protagonist's values, your story would be pretty dull. It is this conflict of psychological values that creates the physical drama. And it is this conflict that is summarized in the Moral Premise statement, which drives the story forward.
NATURAL LAW

For your story to be accepted by mainstream audiences your Moral Premise must be true or consistent with natural law. When I use the term "natural law" I include everything from nature's law of gravity to a human being's feelings of injustice. A friend used to tell his children, "You can make any decision you want, but you have no choice over the consequences." A car driver can make the decision to run a red light, but he won't have much of a choice as to whether he gets a ticket from a cop, or a box from an undertaker. A character can decide to step off a 400-foot cliff; but gravity and the specific-gravity of the rocks below will determine the consequence. Another character can decide to commit adultery; but a sense of injustice of the jilted will determine the litany of consequences. In these ways your Moral Premise and the events in your movie must be true.
DISCOVERING YOUR STORY'S MORAL PREMISE

Discovering the true Moral Premise for your story may come about a number of ways, depending on how the story idea came to you, what stage of writing you're in, and whether you're a right or left-brain type of thinker. Although Part 2 of my book outlines a step-by-step process, there is no right way to come up with a true moral premise. It does not matter how you get there, only that your movie (in all its disciplines and departments) consistently applies a true Moral Premise to the psychological and physical arcs of your characters, as well as to the art direction, music, and other variables that support the visual and aural storytelling.

There are many more intricacies about the Moral Premise that can help you structure your story, your acts, each sequence, each scene, and even each line of dialogue. The Moral Premise will also tell you a great deal about your plot's turning points, climaxes, and endings. Central to these structural tools is what narrative theorists call the "moment of grace"—a subtle, but magical event in the middle of every character's storyline that enlightens their struggle but ultimately determines their fate.

sound cool.

SOURCE:
Most people will get married. But all of us will be unmarried for a time. Some people are unmarried for a time while they seek a mate. Others become single again through death or divorce. Some remain unmarried throughout their lives. In this lesson, we will consider how we prepare for marriage.

A. Prepare for a mate by making friends and having fellowship.

Whether we are married or unmarried, we all have a deep need for friendship. Unmarried people must strengthen their lives by having good friendships.

The unmarried, or single people, must seek and keep strong friendships. People may find a good friend in a family member such as a parent, brother, or sister. People can find deep friendships with those of the same faith. People can find friends among those who share common interests in things such as work, music, and recreation.

An example of making friends is one called the Apostle Paul in the New Testament of the Bible. Most scholars think that Paul was unmarried yet, we know he developed many deep friendships (1 Cor. 9:5-6; Rom. 16:1-16).

He became a friend to Priscilla and Aquila through his work as a tentmaker (Acts 18:1-3).
He had fellowship with people who shared in his ministry. Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, and Titus are examples of Paul's friends. The greetings in his letters reflect the many deep friendships he formed through shared ministry.
Paul had friendships within his family (Rom. 16:7, 11, 21).
Paul also had close relationships with those to whom he ministered. The Ephesian elders were very close to Paul. They wept together when he left for Jerusalem (Acts 20:13–21:14). Their love was deep and enduring. They pleaded with Paul to avoid his suffering and stay with them. It was so hard for Paul to bear that he cried out, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart?" (Acts 21:13).

Some single people are always looking for a spouse because they are lonely and think that marriage is the way to find a genuine friend. They may not know that married people also feel lonely from time to time. But there are many opportunities to fellowship without having to be married. One key way for an unmarried person to prepare for marriage is engage in genuine relationships so as to live a full life. This will help the unmarried person to be ready to interact socially and to consider the needs of others.
B. Prepare for a mate by finding and fulfilling your purposes in life.

Most single people greatly desire to get married. They may dream of the future so much that they neglect the present. They may think too much about the day when their lives will be fulfilled in marriage. But wise singles understand that God has a purpose for every day we live. God desires all single people to accomplish His purposes. Living with a purpose makes a person feel valuable, satisfied, and fulfilled.

Single people who desire to marry should know that they are more attractive to others when they live with purpose. This is very important. Those with a purpose are excited about life and can be used and anointed by God. This draws others to them. A person who is "just waiting"seems desperate, empty, cold, and needy to others. Which kind of person would you choose to marry: one who only dreams about the future, or one who is living every day with joy and purpose?
C. Prepare for a mate by discerning the reason for sexual purity (I Cor. 6:9-20).

God's plan is for a man and woman to become one flesh in marriage. There are several reasons why God blesses sexual relations only within marriage.

1. God commands sexual purity because of our relationship with Him. Salvation impacts the whole person. It is not just our spirits that are saved. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Since our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, we must remain sexually pure. Sexual immorality—any sexual union outside of marriage—is a sin against the body and against Christ Himself. Our bodies are made for Christ and not for sexual sins (1 Cor. 6:18-20).

2. Sexual purity protects from disease. People everywhere are learning that sex outside of marriage brings disease and death. Sexual diseases are spreading and are destroying families and entire nations. Doctors have no cure for AIDS or many sexual diseases. Yet God has told us how to avoid sexual diseases. We are to remain sexually pure if we are single and to remain faithful if we are married. Sexual purity protects people from many diseases. The best protection from disease is for both marriage partners to have sexual relations only with each other in marriage.

3. Sexual purity protects fathers, mothers, and children. A man who is sexually pure and faithful never wonders whether he has unknown children. He never lives with the guilt of leaving a woman or a child. Sexual purity protects women. Single women who remain sexually pure never suffer from the heartbreak of having children outside of marriage. A woman and her child are blessed when her pregnancy is within the dignity of marriage.

Every child needs a father and a mother. The presence, protection, and provision of a father bless a child. Sexual purity brings God's blessings to all. The Lord's plan brings blessing and adds no sorrow! But poverty and suffering often follow the woman and child left by a lover outside of marriage. God's plan is not for children to be born outside of marriage (Heb. 12:.

4. Sexual purity protects the emotions. A sexual union can affect a person's emotions forever. Many societies encourage a couple to try having sex and living together to see whether or not they want to marry. But this is rebellion against God's wisdom. The commitment of marriage protects the emotions. The couple can learn to live and love each other in the security of a marriage relationship. Sexual union without commitment often causes a person to feel insecure and of less value. Sex outside of marriage makes people feel devalued. Men, women, and children feel of little worth because of sex outside of marriage (See Prov. 6:26). They feel like used goods instead of feeling new. In contrast, remaining pure protects the way a person feels about self. Sexual purity raises a person's value in his or her own eyes, and in the eyes of others. Proverbs 31:10 states that a woman with virtue has great value. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Sexual purity protects self-esteem.

Casual sex between unmarried people deadens the emotions. A person is seen as an object to be used. The only thing important in casual sex is selfish desire. The user and the one being used cannot escape emotional pain. When two people have sex, they become one flesh (1 Cor. 6:16). This union unites bodies and emotions. Tearing this one flesh apart will cause damage, like tearing two pieces of paper apart that were glued together. A part of each must remain with the other.
Sex before marriage affects emotions after marriage. Guilt and feelings of betrayal may trouble the marriage. Sexual memories may cause a person to compare a spouse to a former sexual partner. The person who has had other sexual partners may have a harder time remaining faithful to a spouse. Jealousy and insecurity may come when a person learns a spouse has had past sexual partners. There are many negative emotions from sex outside of marriage. Sexual purity protects a person's emotional life.

5. Sexual purity leads to trust and security. When sex is only within marriage, there is no fear of disease. There is no guilt of infecting your spouse and children. If a child is conceived, the man is certain that he is the father. The woman is certain of support. And the child is certain who the parents are. Intimacy is strengthened by knowing that neither person had sex with anyone else. Neither spouse is compared with another person in the sexual union. They can each learn to please the other. A valuable and precious gift that you can give your future spouse is your virginity; your sexual purity. Do not give this great gift away before marriage! Save your purity for the special person you will love for a lifetime!
D. Prepare for a mate by remaining sexually pure.

Here are some important thoughts and actions that will help you to remain sexually pure.

1. Do not let people who do not follow Jesus pressure you to act like they act (Rom. 12:1-2). People who do not follow Jesus will do whatever the lust of their heart and mind lead them to do. They approve of those who rebel against God. In contrast, Christians do not live by the world's standards. They follow God's plan in all areas of their lives.

2. Fulfill sexual desire in the way that God approves. The desire for food is a normal part of being human. But a person should not steal food; he should work to buy it. Likewise, sexual desire is normal. Work and plan for marriage. Then you can fulfill your sexual desires through God's plan.

3. Renew your mind (Rom. 12:1-2). There are two parts to this. First, we must protect our minds from the things that feed sexual desire. Many forms of entertainment increase sexual desire. We must control what we think, read, watch, and speak. We must pull down bad thoughts and make them bow to Jesus (2 Cor. 10:5). Jesus wants to be Lord of our thoughts. Likewise, we must manage our time with others so that we avoid situations where sexual temptation is strong. Second, we must fill our minds with good things. Philippians 4:7-9 teaches us that thinking about noble and pure things helps us to guard our minds and hearts.

4. Use personal energy in good ways. The Bible warns men, "Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings" (Prov. 31:3). Many kings like Solomon wasted their strength in sex with many women. In contrast, a man should use his strength for good things such as work, worship, family, ministry, or community life. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Do something good instead of something bad.

5. Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). Believers are not led by the sinful nature (the flesh), but by the Spirit (Rom. 8:4). If the Spirit causes you to feel guilty in an area of your life, repent and turn in a better direction. Submit to the Spirit. But reject guilt that is not from God. For example, do not feel guilty about what happens while you sleep! The body must have sexual release. Men's bodies produce sexual fluids that the body releases. Sexual tension builds in both men and women. Men and some women experience sexual release while they are sleeping (Lev. 15:16-17). This often comes with a dream. It is best to accept this as the way our bodies provide for sexual release. Dreams are mysterious. They are not always from God. A sexual dream does not always show a problem with character. If we are seeking to keep a pure mind and body when we are awake, we do not need to accept guilt for sexual dreams. God made your body the way it is.

6. Accept grace for your past and move forward in holiness. God is serious about sexual sin. Breaking His commands brings many bad results. But, thank God, His grace can cover sexual sins. First Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God". God forgives all who repent and turn away from sin (1 John 1:9),see more >>>> [url]konga/globallandmark[/url] thank for reading.

SOURCE:
Most people will get married. But all of us will be unmarried for a time. Some people are unmarried for a time while they seek a mate. Others become single again through death or divorce. Some remain unmarried throughout their lives. In this lesson, we will consider how we prepare for marriage.

A. Prepare for a mate by making friends and having fellowship.

Whether we are married or unmarried, we all have a deep need for friendship. Unmarried people must strengthen their lives by having good friendships.

The unmarried, or single people, must seek and keep strong friendships. People may find a good friend in a family member such as a parent, brother, or sister. People can find deep friendships with those of the same faith. People can find friends among those who share common interests in things such as work, music, and recreation.

An example of making friends is one called the Apostle Paul in the New Testament of the Bible. Most scholars think that Paul was unmarried yet, we know he developed many deep friendships (1 Cor. 9:5-6; Rom. 16:1-16).

He became a friend to Priscilla and Aquila through his work as a tentmaker (Acts 18:1-3).
He had fellowship with people who shared in his ministry. Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, and Titus are examples of Paul's friends. The greetings in his letters reflect the many deep friendships he formed through shared ministry.
Paul had friendships within his family (Rom. 16:7, 11, 21).
Paul also had close relationships with those to whom he ministered. The Ephesian elders were very close to Paul. They wept together when he left for Jerusalem (Acts 20:13–21:14). Their love was deep and enduring. They pleaded with Paul to avoid his suffering and stay with them. It was so hard for Paul to bear that he cried out, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart?" (Acts 21:13).

Some single people are always looking for a spouse because they are lonely and think that marriage is the way to find a genuine friend. They may not know that married people also feel lonely from time to time. But there are many opportunities to fellowship without having to be married. One key way for an unmarried person to prepare for marriage is engage in genuine relationships so as to live a full life. This will help the unmarried person to be ready to interact socially and to consider the needs of others.
B. Prepare for a mate by finding and fulfilling your purposes in life.

Most single people greatly desire to get married. They may dream of the future so much that they neglect the present. They may think too much about the day when their lives will be fulfilled in marriage. But wise singles understand that God has a purpose for every day we live. God desires all single people to accomplish His purposes. Living with a purpose makes a person feel valuable, satisfied, and fulfilled.

Single people who desire to marry should know that they are more attractive to others when they live with purpose. This is very important. Those with a purpose are excited about life and can be used and anointed by God. This draws others to them. A person who is "just waiting"seems desperate, empty, cold, and needy to others. Which kind of person would you choose to marry: one who only dreams about the future, or one who is living every day with joy and purpose?
C. Prepare for a mate by discerning the reason for sexual purity (I Cor. 6:9-20).

God's plan is for a man and woman to become one flesh in marriage. There are several reasons why God blesses sexual relations only within marriage.

1. God commands sexual purity because of our relationship with Him. Salvation impacts the whole person. It is not just our spirits that are saved. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Since our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, we must remain sexually pure. Sexual immorality—any sexual union outside of marriage—is a sin against the body and against Christ Himself. Our bodies are made for Christ and not for sexual sins (1 Cor. 6:18-20).

2. Sexual purity protects from disease. People everywhere are learning that sex outside of marriage brings disease and death. Sexual diseases are spreading and are destroying families and entire nations. Doctors have no cure for AIDS or many sexual diseases. Yet God has told us how to avoid sexual diseases. We are to remain sexually pure if we are single and to remain faithful if we are married. Sexual purity protects people from many diseases. The best protection from disease is for both marriage partners to have sexual relations only with each other in marriage.

3. Sexual purity protects fathers, mothers, and children. A man who is sexually pure and faithful never wonders whether he has unknown children. He never lives with the guilt of leaving a woman or a child. Sexual purity protects women. Single women who remain sexually pure never suffer from the heartbreak of having children outside of marriage. A woman and her child are blessed when her pregnancy is within the dignity of marriage.

Every child needs a father and a mother. The presence, protection, and provision of a father bless a child. Sexual purity brings God's blessings to all. The Lord's plan brings blessing and adds no sorrow! But poverty and suffering often follow the woman and child left by a lover outside of marriage. God's plan is not for children to be born outside of marriage (Heb. 12:.

4. Sexual purity protects the emotions. A sexual union can affect a person's emotions forever. Many societies encourage a couple to try having sex and living together to see whether or not they want to marry. But this is rebellion against God's wisdom. The commitment of marriage protects the emotions. The couple can learn to live and love each other in the security of a marriage relationship. Sexual union without commitment often causes a person to feel insecure and of less value. Sex outside of marriage makes people feel devalued. Men, women, and children feel of little worth because of sex outside of marriage (See Prov. 6:26). They feel like used goods instead of feeling new. In contrast, remaining pure protects the way a person feels about self. Sexual purity raises a person's value in his or her own eyes, and in the eyes of others. Proverbs 31:10 states that a woman with virtue has great value. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Sexual purity protects self-esteem.

Casual sex between unmarried people deadens the emotions. A person is seen as an object to be used. The only thing important in casual sex is selfish desire. The user and the one being used cannot escape emotional pain. When two people have sex, they become one flesh (1 Cor. 6:16). This union unites bodies and emotions. Tearing this one flesh apart will cause damage, like tearing two pieces of paper apart that were glued together. A part of each must remain with the other.
Sex before marriage affects emotions after marriage. Guilt and feelings of betrayal may trouble the marriage. Sexual memories may cause a person to compare a spouse to a former sexual partner. The person who has had other sexual partners may have a harder time remaining faithful to a spouse. Jealousy and insecurity may come when a person learns a spouse has had past sexual partners. There are many negative emotions from sex outside of marriage. Sexual purity protects a person's emotional life.

5. Sexual purity leads to trust and security. When sex is only within marriage, there is no fear of disease. There is no guilt of infecting your spouse and children. If a child is conceived, the man is certain that he is the father. The woman is certain of support. And the child is certain who the parents are. Intimacy is strengthened by knowing that neither person had sex with anyone else. Neither spouse is compared with another person in the sexual union. They can each learn to please the other. A valuable and precious gift that you can give your future spouse is your virginity; your sexual purity. Do not give this great gift away before marriage! Save your purity for the special person you will love for a lifetime!
D. Prepare for a mate by remaining sexually pure.

Here are some important thoughts and actions that will help you to remain sexually pure.

1. Do not let people who do not follow Jesus pressure you to act like they act (Rom. 12:1-2). People who do not follow Jesus will do whatever the lust of their heart and mind lead them to do. They approve of those who rebel against God. In contrast, Christians do not live by the world's standards. They follow God's plan in all areas of their lives.

2. Fulfill sexual desire in the way that God approves. The desire for food is a normal part of being human. But a person should not steal food; he should work to buy it. Likewise, sexual desire is normal. Work and plan for marriage. Then you can fulfill your sexual desires through God's plan.

3. Renew your mind (Rom. 12:1-2). There are two parts to this. First, we must protect our minds from the things that feed sexual desire. Many forms of entertainment increase sexual desire. We must control what we think, read, watch, and speak. We must pull down bad thoughts and make them bow to Jesus (2 Cor. 10:5). Jesus wants to be Lord of our thoughts. Likewise, we must manage our time with others so that we avoid situations where sexual temptation is strong. Second, we must fill our minds with good things. Philippians 4:7-9 teaches us that thinking about noble and pure things helps us to guard our minds and hearts.

4. Use personal energy in good ways. The Bible warns men, "Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings" (Prov. 31:3). Many kings like Solomon wasted their strength in sex with many women. In contrast, a man should use his strength for good things such as work, worship, family, ministry, or community life. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Do something good instead of something bad.

5. Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). Believers are not led by the sinful nature (the flesh), but by the Spirit (Rom. 8:4). If the Spirit causes you to feel guilty in an area of your life, repent and turn in a better direction. Submit to the Spirit. But reject guilt that is not from God. For example, do not feel guilty about what happens while you sleep! The body must have sexual release. Men's bodies produce sexual fluids that the body releases. Sexual tension builds in both men and women. Men and some women experience sexual release while they are sleeping (Lev. 15:16-17). This often comes with a dream. It is best to accept this as the way our bodies provide for sexual release. Dreams are mysterious. They are not always from God. A sexual dream does not always show a problem with character. If we are seeking to keep a pure mind and body when we are awake, we do not need to accept guilt for sexual dreams. God made your body the way it is.

6. Accept grace for your past and move forward in holiness. God is serious about sexual sin. Breaking His commands brings many bad results. But, thank God, His grace can cover sexual sins. First Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God". God forgives all who repent and turn away from sin (1 John 1:9),see more >>>> [url]konga/globallandmark[/url] thank for reading.

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Marriage
Sooner or later you must marry something in life. It may be a person, or it may be a group of people who are serving a great cause in the world. It may be a career. It may be something else, but it has to involve other people. You must marry someone. Marriage to an idea is not meaningful.

Marriage, in the truest sense, is where you experience a Greater Reality in a relationship. True marriage is not merely going to the church and taking vows. True marriage is a bonding, a surrender, a commitment. It is the bonding of your mind and body, those things which have been the pinnacle of your separate identity, to another. True marriage is a surrender of a separate life to a certain degree, and it is a commitment to spiritual growth. This is the very essence of marriage. You do not give yourself up here. Instead, you gain a greater self. Here you have not only one mind to help you, you have two minds. You not only have one body, you have two bodies. If your marriage is to a group of people, you have more minds and more bodies. Here your resource for wisdom grows. This can overshadow any sense of personal limitation.

Until you truly marry someone, until you give yourself that completely, you are still bound to your imagination, and you are still overshadowed by your ideas. Imagination without Knowledge is chaotic and casts confusion and darkness over your mind. Yet imagination with Knowledge is a source of joyful creation and expression. Whether you spend your life in celibacy or whether you are a family person, you must become deeply connected to other people.

True marriage becomes absolutely necessary in the third stage of development. Anything short of marriage here ceases to have value. This is because nothing short of this deeper commitment in marriage can carry a greater vision and higher purpose into the world. If you are to be a family person, you marry your partner, and you are bonded to your offspring. You commit yourself to their well-being, and you provide for them. As you do so, you will see that you are not apart from them. Though you are still an individual and though you still have your sanctuary within yourself, your life is intertwined with others. This changes your fate and your destiny and provides a reward which you could not have otherwise.

There are many marriages being made and broken every day in the world. There are contracts and agreements. There are attempts at devotion and dedication. Yet unless Knowledge is your foundation, unless you have arrived at that point where true marriage is a necessity and not merely an option, unless you have been prepared for being in a relationship at this level, your marriage will only be an attempt. This is true even if you value marriage for the right reasons. This is why you must be prepared.

To a certain extent, in true marriage, you give yourself up. Yet here you are actually only giving up an illusion about yourself. Here, to a certain degree, you are divorcing your marriage to your self-limiting ideas and re-establishing marriage within the context of your relationship with another. In essence, you are always married to something because you are always committed to something. It is not true to say you are not committed. That is false. Everyone in the world is committed to something, everyone in the world is serving something and everyone in the world is teaching something because you must be committed, you must serve and you must teach. This is a natural function of being in the world. It is inescapable. Here the emphasis is on the quality, direction and meaning of your engagement because you will be engaged either way.

In true marriage, you give yourself up to a certain degree. What you gain back is a greater self. Here you don’t escape all the problems of separation. You take on a new set of problems. For instance, if you are a single person and you get married to someone, you give up a certain set of problems for another set of problems. You have some of the same problems but in a larger context. You must still earn a livelihood, but now you have to earn a livelihood for more than yourself. You have to share that with your partner and provide for your offspring. Providership is very important because the essence of marriage is providership, not self-gratification. Yet true providership is incredibly gratifying. In fact, this is the most gratifying thing of all, for it produces lasting satisfaction and contribution.

Two people who enter into a true marriage must either provide for their offspring or provide for something else in the world because all true marriage provides for something beyond itself. This is what distinguishes true marriage from a temporary alignment between two people who are attempting to escape their loneliness and to use one another for personal fulfillment.

If you look out in the world, you will find that true marriage seems to be rare. That is because there are not many people in the third stage of development. Marriage in the first stage of development is different from marriage in the second stage, and marriage in the third stage of development is entirely different from marriage in the first two stages.

Very few marriages can go from stage one to stage two and even fewer marriages can go from stage two to three. It is, therefore, common that people divorce if one of them is moving into the next stage. Here the person realizes that they must move forward and discovers that their partner cannot or will not go with them. And regardless of the agreements and cooperation that may exist between them, this is the truth of the matter. Marriages often fail here because they cannot keep pace with the natural evolution of the people involved.

True marriage must provide for others because what will be generated between two people will far exceed their own personal needs. They will become a source of genuine community for people around them. This is a result of true marriage. Whereas before, in the first two stages, individuals may have tried to give to others and succeeded to a certain extent, in the third stage the value and the essence of the marriage become a genuine source of nourishment for others.

Life for people, animals, plants and all other living things is all about providership. Nature is all about providership. It does not glorify the individual. It expresses itself through the individual. In this way, the individual becomes great and necessary without being given precedent or priority over others. This is borne out in nature. If you observe life around you, you realize that human beings have a great deal to learn from nature in order to become more natural themselves. There is a great deal of unlearning that must be accomplished here, and it can be accomplished because Knowledge is with you.

Within the three stages of development, there are three stages in marriage as well. Each one has a different emphasis. Generally speaking, marriage in stage one is about personal security. Marriage in stage two is about personal exploration. And marriage in stage three is about personal contribution. Though problems arise and learning continues through each of these stages, these are the primary emphases.

In each of the three stages of development, there is a process of surrender in marriage. In each stage, you acquire something and you give something up for another. What you acquire and what you give up will determine the kind of marriage you will have and how far it can ultimately go with you.

Ultimately, real surrender is allowing your body to serve your mind and your mind to serve your spirit, which is an expression of God. Here surrender re-establishes the proper order of authority within yourself. Yet many people think that surrender is where you give up what you really want for something else or where you give your power away to someone else. This is what many people in the first two stages so often assume. Yet real surrender is about finding who you are, why you are here, what you need to do and what your gifts are. Here things are willingly given up in order to clear the way for this great discovery. The sacrifice here is small and the reward is so great.

Marriage in the first stage is usually focused on such things as pleasure, emotional security, financial security and, in some cases, social advantage. To acquire these things, people knowingly or unknowingly sacrifice their freedom, their self-honesty, their integrity and their spiritual growth. This is common. The emphasis may be on love, but this is a very limited experience of love, and its primary emphasis is self-gratification or, in other words, getting what you want. After an enticing romantic phase, these relationships can struggle greatly as they come to terms with the demands of living a real life. As people go forward in these relationships, real intimacy and honesty tend to dry up as they attempt to protect their “investment” in their joint property and financial security. Children often become the reason for staying together, which puts the guilt and blame upon them for their parents’ increasingly unhappy relationship.

Sooner or later, one or, in rare cases, both people in the marriage will face the fact that their marriage is unfulfilling and that a reassessment and change must be made. Here Knowledge is beginning to stir in the person, encouraging them to seek a greater union either with their partner or with someone else. The person is now approaching the next stage of their development.

Marriage in the second stage of development holds much more promise. Here spiritual growth and personal honesty are given a higher priority, but there is still a great emphasis on emotional safety and financial security. These marriages often reflect the growing struggle between Knowledge and personal fulfillment that one or both of the people involved are experiencing. As a result, the marriage is burdened with the nearly impossible task of balancing two great forces that are struggling for predominance within one or both people in the relationship.

In stage two, neither person has yet discovered what their life is really about nor has a clear sense of where they are going. And often, they find out sooner or later that they are not going in the same direction as their partner. Here the emphasis on emotional safety and financial security becomes threatened and has to compete with the great uncertainty that their inner exploration can generate. Here people can surrender their health, their financial stability and sometimes even their sanity as they try and make sense out of the divergence between the direction of their individual life and their commitment in marriage. And sadly, many people end up sacrificing their own discovery of Knowledge as they try and keep their marriage and its benefits intact.

Marriage in the first stage has very little foundation and is generally threatened by the emergence of the truth and real honesty, which together usually reveal all that is genuinely lacking in the relationship. Marriage in the second stage often will reflect higher personal standards and goals but is nearly always beset by the fact that the people involved have not yet built their foundation upon Knowledge within themselves. As a result, they end up trying to satisfy both their personal desires and the deeper need of their soul at great cost to their well-being and personal stability. They may experience real love together, but real love here may force them to separate for reasons that they cannot at this point understand.

In essence, stage one is about dependence. Stage two is about independence. And stage three is about interdependence—dependence, independence and interdependence. Marriage in stage one is about building security and reinforcing dependence. This fundamentally opposes personal honesty and the emergence of Knowledge. Marriage in stage two is more about people discovering and differentiating themselves by learning to think and act independently. This produces personal growth but makes the prospect of attaining real union and commitment in relationship very difficult to establish.

Attempting marriage in the first two stages is very difficult. In either case, you must put the marriage at risk in order to find and follow Knowledge within yourself. If this cannot be done, you will end up abandoning your Knowledge altogether and with it any hope of finding real happiness and satisfaction in your life.

Your life is meant to take you somewhere. It is meant to enable you to reach real clarity and maturity within yourself and within your relationships. Here you must surrender your attempt at personal fulfillment in order to be free to find the real fulfillment that is waiting for you. This naturally leads you through the stages of development. Here you pass beyond dependence to become independent, and that is a great process in and of itself. And then eventually you will pass beyond independence to become interdependent. This is when marriage has the greatest potential, for you can only be in true marriage in a state of interdependence.

The third stage is the stage of interdependence. Here you come to realize that no matter how free and independent you have become, you can do nothing alone. Alone your life has little meaning and promise. Alone you are only a potential. To find your gifts, you need real relationships in your life, and they must be built upon Knowledge. Here surrender becomes the natural expression of your desire to give your life to those people and to the higher purpose that are meant for you. Here you do not really surrender yourself. Instead, your Knowledge surrenders you. Here you do not need to struggle over whether you want to give yourself to another. It is simply known.

What was thought to be important before becomes necessary now. Honesty, integrity, compatibility and service to the world may have been attempted in the first two stages, but now they have become the determining criteria regarding who you can be with and how you are to participate with them. Here the fantasies of love are dispelled in favor of the real power of love, which is connected to your higher purpose in the world. When you give your life to this, real love will emanate from you naturally. Yet neglect this and go against your higher purpose and love will degenerate into frantic desire and fear. Here love’s redeeming grace and power will be lost.

True marriage is the reward for passing through the stages of development. What was sought before now becomes truly possible and necessary. You are always preparing for true marriage, for true marriage is your goal. It is true contribution. This can be expressed through a union with one other person or with many people who are serving a great cause in the world. In either case, Knowledge, compatibility and service in the world are what distinguish a true marriage from all other relationships.

True marriage is where you exchange a small self for a greater self without losing your individuality. True marriage is where your individuality becomes a part of something greater and a vehicle for something greater. Here your individuality is an asset and not a liability. This frees you rather than holds you in bondage. In the earlier stages, you were bound to serve your desires and beliefs. Now you are serving something greater. This is the path of fulfillment.

True marriage is waiting for you. Yet you may not know what it will look like. You may not know if it will be with another person or with a group of people who are serving a great cause. You may not know if your marriage to another will be for the purpose of having children or not. Yet true marriage is waiting for you.

Whenever and wherever true marriage has been established, a great blessing has occurred in the world, a miracle has been demonstrated. Two or more people have transcended their limits. These alliances, as rare as they may be, are truly beneficial and have great foundation. They are what has kept Knowledge alive in the world. They are what keep humanity advancing.

In true marriage, you are able to experience the union you have with your Inner Teachers and Spiritual Family with another person. This union is now being expressed in the world. Once you have experienced your union with your Spiritual Family, you will not want anything less in your marriage with another.

Once a true marriage has been established, a commitment to growth must be undertaken and maintained. The desire for this will emanate naturally. Yet you cannot be neglectful and take for granted that the other person will be with you forever. For if you neglect what you must do together, and if you neglect what you must face within yourself, then even a marriage with great promise will wither. This relationship must still be cultivated and nourished. Without nourishment, it will die. It will cease to progress, and without progress, it cannot maintain itself.

From a point of view where separation is protected and defended, truth appears to be an undermining threat to a person’s happiness and personal fulfillment. But to Knowledge, the truth is a blessing, a welcome and wonderful guest whom you wish would stay forever, an experience so unlike anything in contrast to it and so totally beneficial and self-affirming that in time you will seek nothing else.

Therefore, accept that true marriage is inevitable for you because you are married to your Spiritual Family and your Inner Teachers already. This marriage must express itself in the world in your relationships with others. Accept that you are committed already to your Spiritual Family and to your Inner Teachers. In the world, you are married and committed to your ideals until you are able to break free to experience marriage and commitment within the context of your real relationships with others.thank for reading been bless in the lord name amen

Americans may worry about pollution and harmful chemicals in their air and water, but a new study of the major causes of death confirms what most doctors know: We are our own worst enemies.

The leading causes of death have to do with bad habits, including smoking, poor diet and a lack of exercise, the report from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington finds.

"Many of the leading causes of death in the U.S. are preventable," said Dr. Ali , a professor of global health who helped lead the study.

"It is important to remember that we need to focus on preventing these risk factors such as smoking, obesity, poor diet," he said.

Smoking was the number one individual risk factor for dying in America in 2013. It was involved in 443,824 deaths. Smoking causes heart disease, stroke, many forms of cancer. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and a range of other ills.

Outside the U.S., the No. 1 individual risk factor for death in 2013 was high blood pressure, ple team found. High blood pressure was behind 10.4 million deaths, a 49 percent rise from 1990.

Smoking, poor diet and a lack of exercise can all raise blood pressure, which in turn damages arteries and organs such as the heart and kidneys.

The team of dozens of researchers from around the world studied 79 different risk factors, from handwashing to malnutrition, infectious diseases and eating habits.

Their findings are in part a good news story. In 2000, the leading cause of death and disability was malnutrition. It's now fourth. Unsafe water and sanitation fell from the top causes.

Excesses in richer countries now outweigh the effects of poverty in underdeveloped countries, they found.

The team put together a list of 14 dietary bad habits that can kill people and found they lay behind 21 percent of all deaths globally. They include eating too much red meat and sugary drinks, and not eating enough fruits, vegetables and whole grains, the team reports in the Lancet medical journal.

The top 10 global causes of death:

High blood pressure
Smoking
High body mass index
High fasting plasma glucose
Diet high in sodium
Diet low in fruits
Ambient pollution
Household air pollution from solid fuels
High total cholesterol
Alcohol use.pleases maintain your health away of bad-habit ,in sake of life.

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make every women and men learn change from this for there future ,sake of children and do God wish, so have glory of every thing you need in life.make your home an happy home and joy full home do your God wish pleases you been bless by doing that OK.

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Why that can of question ,waiting happen.