Leave paid employment to start a business. Chai, e go hard oooooo given the financial security that comes with paid employment in some organiztions

I would rather keep my paid job and start the business on the side. When things really take off and business is looking good then I can quit the paid job and face my business squarely.

You know capital/funding for the business can also come from the paid job so I won't be too quick to ditch it for business.

Tread carefully like someone said, I know a guy who quit his job with Chevron to start his own buiz 2 abi na 3yrs now and there's no worthwhile/profitable business in sight. And I know he is frustrated as well as bitter at some of his family members like say na them cause am.

harakiri:

Women! Women! ! Women ooo! ! ! Una no go kill us with una nonsense
I'm asking because I see no reason why any clinically sane woman would behave like this (a lot of men have mad women as wives though).

Harakiri, Harakiri, Harakiri, LOL  
We haven't killed you yet so hang in there.  
A lot of men have mad women as wives got me laughing real hard, u no well ooo.
Jokes apart

@ Poster
I am surprised at your wifey's behaviour if truly you do or have done all the things you said above. I agree with someone here, your wife needs discipline. Please put your foot down hard and let her know her bad behaviour won't be condoned or tolerated any longer.

As a woman I understand how we some times let our imaginations/suspicions get the best of us and we act irrationally (talking about your wife's attitude to the widow), but that is not acceptable.

I hope truly there's nothing going on btw you and the widow, I don't doubt your story but from my personal experience with your gender the thing you all tend to deny vehemently is the very thing you are actually doing. No offence meant

I am simply amazed at the the poster and the issue as a whole.

No offence meant but are you truly in your late 30's as you claim?

That bit you said about no one being above mistakes (or something along that line) doesn't hold water here, it just sounds like a lame excuse.

Seriously, what would it have cost you to drive your FIL to the function? How many times in the past has he made a request of this nature or how often does he impose on you?

We don't get to see our old and ageing parents frequently (whether yours or wifey's), and in my opinion when we do we should all make the most of it, respect them and give them what they want if it is within our power. They could be gone any day and it's not like we make them the priority in our lives because of new families we have or are trying to build, which consists of a wife/husband and kids.

Shaking my head and truly wondering what marriages are coming to these days. This shouldn't have been an issue at all you goofed big time and if this was really a mistake as you claim and not a deliberate act I hope you'll learn something.

bizgirl:

am damn tired ot this single life, sleep alone, wake alone, think alone, take decision alone and a lots of "ALONEs".

You cracked me up, LOL

@ topic/question

Not yet, I love being single and I am enjoying it.For me this is the time to invest in my hobbies, discover new interests and explore since I am not tied into a relationship and it's the time to just go out there & do somethings I've always wanted to do.

I'm actually using this time to make myself a better person and just getting involved in the things I love. Am not stressing about boyfriends & marriage when the time comes love will find moi

@ Cork craze dey worry you ooooo

Stick to the topic and don't derail the thread.

Do you ever have anything worthwhile to say?

LOL and SMH. Yeye man

@ italkalot

You sure do have a lot to say , but your post was an interesting read. I liked your ability to articulate your thoughts well and the flawlessness of your written english.

I guess our perceptions of people are often based on our experience with them, so to a certain extent I understand where you are coming from. I've not had the misfortune of being involved with ''too many bad men''. Majority of the men I know (let's say like 15 out of 20) are decent individuals with good hearts so based on my experience I will be quick to say that "Nigerian men are good"

Having said that don't let your mindset about us get skewed because of a few encounters there will always be good & bad eggs amongst women folk there's no denying that, same way with your gender. You come across as smart so I want to believe you can pretty much tell or sense on a first outing which category a woman falls into i.e

1.Materialistic & dependent or
2.Materialistic but independent[b] and[/b]
3.Non-materialistic & independent

Do we still have responsible women?

Yes oooooooo we do and you are looking at one (am sure the sharks will come out in full force on this comment). But seriously yes they are still responsible women don't use your cousin's experience to judge or think otherwise.

BABE!:

She's allowed to date other guys too right?

Good question Babe.

It seems to me women are often expected to bend backwards and make all or most of the adjustments to accommodate a man, win a man or keep a man.
While a man can keep on doing his thing or being in some cases the un-cultured person he is without trying to improve or get better for his partner.

I'm getting tired of all this plenty talk about what we should do or not to do, inorder to take center stage in a man's life. These men are not God it will be a fatal mistake making them our number one priority. If they wanna date 3 or more women at a go, good luck to them BUT let them take the back seat when it comes to God.

2buff

I dey feel you especially on the part about people wanting you to call them aunty/uncle when the relationship is purely a business one. I severely hate it when folks do that. I can call you aunty but truly not have an iota of respect for you and also talk trash about you the moment you turn your back so I just don't get it. As an adult I refuse to be bullied or compelled into doing things which are inappropriate in business settings, such as the aunty/uncle title.

Imagine one of my bosses saying to me that I do not call him uncle because of my parents relationship with his sister and brother in-law , a relationship that is not even by blood. I thought this guy must be joking.

People have different attitudes to bills, some people like to pay their bills on time (like I do), while others take their time about it and then some can simply not be bothered. I am often at logger heads with one of my superiors about this issue, he delays in paying off our company bills and often wants the bill/payment conditions to be on his own terms, even when the other company/party we are dealing with has a standing policy to receive part payment before service and the other half after service. My oga would want service provided in full before we even pay a dime and has the audacity to whine about it.

To make matters worse he is in the habit of not paying me on time therefore causing me to delay in paying my own personal bills like nepa, an issue I have repeatedly talked to him about. It's not that there is no money but there is no fixed date for salary payment. Some people know by the 25th or 28th they will be paid but that's not the case where I work.

Please don't close your business to every Nigerian there are some decent people with good hearts who pay a man his wages for work done without drama involved.

U no well ooo.

The parents hardly ever dance well on this show since it's inception. Because most are past their prime time and can't move vigourously like the children/young chaps do which is understandable

I haven't seen any pregnant mothers on the show oo or are you refering to their big belles. Well that's what happens to a woman's body after child bearing even my belle will be like that some day if I don't watch it. Bottom line a woman's body is never the same after child birth so don't even go there

What do you mean thay are not qualified?

See this one o. You sabi dance sef.

arsenefc:

Why are the Ibos so ugly.

Arsene, pls do not cause this thread to turn into a tribal war with comments like this.

pinkrex:

I just loosed my tooth from laughing,  . . . . . .

So you have a daily target

Yes ooo. I have a daily target I set for myself to get tasks done, so I can start a new day with a fresh task and not go back to an old one from yesterday. No be marketing target ooo.

Just got praised by bossy for a job well done. My small head is swelling .

Stay with the thread and don't derail any more  Have you actually watched the show we are talking about? What do you have to say about it.

Still looking for that free ticket ooo anyone,

pinkrex:

Awoof the purge belle

Pinky, Pinky I hope you are not refering to me ooo. Awoof once in a while no dey run belle and am just catching my fun on NL today I've tied up lose ends at work, met work targets and have nothing doing at the moment.

Oh no, I spoke too soon I hear my boss calling .

la furia:

in summary, d govt only thinks of d country security only wen boko haram are mentioned.
It amaze me dat d nig govt stil claim they dont knw who they are.

I tire oooo. You just echoed my thoughts

mundus:

@swift sms you r really swift. I'm just a blogger and no staff of Maltina so can't give out tickets, but visit thier fan page on facebook to participate on thier game that could win u a ticket, u r right ekubo 4 the prize see you @ the expo hall.

I really am swift aren't I?  Lol at that. ''See you @ expo hall'' how are you going to see me there when you won't get me a ticket    .
I am not on facebook so I can't even play their game to win a ticket. Bros mi try oooo, i need that ticket.
How you take get your own ticket.

mundus

Can I get a ticket from you to watch the live show of the grand finale? Free ticket with no money paid and no strings attached oooooo
Nepa didn't allow me enjoy this season of the maltina dance all, but from the few times I watched it The Ekubo family is a strong contender for the 1st prize.

@ skyone

The theories above in your post from the pastors i.e reasons for late marriages, does not apply to me and I guess to some women too.
Not all of us are enamoured with the idea of marriage and kids no matter how often it has been preached to us from birth. And women with a mind of their own defy the traditional/societal pressure to succumb to that school of thought.

Another factor contributing to late marriages could be the lack of 'like minded partners', for instance I would like to date (I am not talking marriage here ooooo) a man who wants a sexually pure realtionship i.e  a relationship with no pre-marital s .e . x involved. Do you know how difficult it has been finding such a man?

Even some xtian brothers want to get in between your legs while you are dating there is no thought of honouring God, it's either you compromise and give in or you walk. Some single sisters in church today have simply refused to compromise which is part of the reason why they are still  single. The preachers didn't even mention that angle na wao for them ooooo.

Goodness me, it's amazing how some of our numerous pastors/preachers are full of theories as to why there are late marriages. That spiritual husband part is the most hilarious one of all (am not mocking anyone just saying). We tend to forget that paths and destinies are different for everyone.

I could have been married by now (If I wanted to) with probably 2 or more kids. I've had men who were desirous of marrying me while I was in university, infact one wanted us to get married right after uni, before law school and NYSC. But I had hopes and dreams for myself, I wanted more out of life than just marriage and children.

I grew up in one of the north central states, where I did all of my schooling from primary to tertiary institution. I needed to get out of that state broaden my horizons, get some exposure, work, earn a living and gain some financial independence of my own. Marrying any of my suitors then would have meant settling down in that same town/city where I grew up, settling for a job with the state civil service (you all know what the civil service is like) and settling for a life of mediocrity and simply becoming a Mrs. with children (nothing wrong with that) it just wasn't my cup of tea at the time.

I don't regret my decision to turn down suitors and zap from my home town as quickly as possible. I have indeed broaden-ed my horizons and continue to do so, gained exposure and financial independence. Things I would not have been able to successfully do if I stayed back home and got married at that time because men from my place have a certain mentality and are set in their traditional ways that doesn't allow a woman certain things.

Right now am not married because I am still not 100% certain it is something I truly want, some days I feel like it, other days am like hell no because of the many negative stories I've heard from friends and acquaintances about their marriages. But as a believer I talk to God about my ever shifting feelings on this issue of marriage and I pray your will and not mine be done.

God has a plan for my life and if part of that plan is marriage and children then so be it, if it is not so be it I won't kill myself oooo. Whatever happens my utmost desire is to make heaven and see the saints gone before me and Jesus' face, now marriage and children will not guarantee my going to heaven. I won't lose sight of what matters most.

Tosinville:

^^Swift SMS, replying Mr.Cork is like wasting hell of a time cos the dude is a corky head on this forum.

LOL, T.Ville I know all about Cork (and his cork screwed head) I've been reading his posts on this forum long before I got a username and signed up.

I just couldn't resist replying him, he did make me laugh about the cinema part and his entire posts were just so corky like the dude.

Imagine talking about manners to someone else still lol and smh at that.

@ Topic & Poster

Girl, I know what you are talking about and how it feels. I find it down right rude that you are trying to have a conversation with someone and they are busy pinging away on their BB whether it's a date or a colleague at work i just don't get it.  A guy I know often drives and pings on his BB at the same time and I'm like what the hell, is wrong with you keep your eyes on the road.

What To Do
Simply stop talking when he is pinging on his BB, become a passive participant in your conversation or outing. Or better still give him the poker face when he is done pinging and starts talking to you. Act like you are dumb and can't relate to what he's saying and when he asks what's wrong tell him and keep up the attitiude for as long as he keeps up the pinging, he just might get the message.

Mr, Cork:

Fancier. Sweeeery. Next time he does it, SLAP his face. Homebased Nigerian guys dont have manners!!!

Mr, Cork:

huh. they have cinema in Nigeria? Am shocked! (no oofeince)

See this clown ooooo do you think we live in caves in Nigeria? And like you have any good manners judging from your posts. Seriously Cork you really are something.

His recommendations and clamour for the death sentence should begin in the judiciary
It is appalling what they (judges,justices) do in the name of money.
They actually have more power than legislators & executives to right the wrongs/ills in our society but when a matter gets to their court the parade changes.

Cases are adjourned incessantly and deliberately too, delaying the entire process while they take money from the highest bidder to do all of this and eventually rule or give judgement in favour of the briber.

deal_ordea are you sure we handle break-ups better?

Like someone said we are emotional creatures and I don't remember handling any of my break-ups well (especially if s. e. x. was involved) but then I really don't know how my ex's handled things they may have been better off or worse off than I was.

Hell, no one ever wants to admit how they truly feel in the event of a break up. We all try to put on a brave face for family & friends, act like it's not a big deal, we pretend we are okay, we are moving on or we have moved on then try to act all cool, calm and collected when we run into that ex in public meanwhile our hearts are breaking up into a thousand pieces within us.

Can't help but remember those days, well now am all grown and done with pretences in my life If I am sad, happy, angry or hurt etc I let myself go through those emotions without denying them.

My typical reaction when God doesn't answer my prayers is to throw tantrums and get all emotional. I go from disappointed to frustrated, from frustrated to angry, from anger to giving Him the silent treatment, from the silent treatment I go back on my knees to Him  .

I often wonder what He thinks of me when I do all this  . But am gradually learning how to pray ''Your Will and Not Mine Be Done'' when I ask for anything or take anything to Him in prayer I've come to realize I am more at peace within me and our relationship is getting better when I pray this way.

I am brutally honest with Him on everything that matters to me, so now when I feel angry with Him I tell him, if I don't like His delay or silence I let Him know but at the end of it all I am like have your way in my life, am not going anywhere whether you answer or not. Because a lack of answers to my prayers doesn't stop Him from being who he is God Almighty, the beginning and the end.

tunnytox:

There's nothing wrong with the OP's question and I believe some posters are taking her out of context. There is a possibility that some ladies will find it awkward undressing in front of their BIL, other husband's family members or even friends, this does not mean they have something to hide but just because they are uncomfortable with it!

Thank you ooo. I don't see what's difficult to understand in her thread or why some people are deliberately being offensive in the name of it's a public forum.

@ Iranoladun

I feel you and I wouldn't want a close relative like a BIL having access to my medical information, history or records. Some in laws just like to get all up in your buisness, and once they know your business it becomes public knowledge where the entire family is aware of what does not concern them.

Let your husband know in very clear terms that you are uncomfortable and you don't want to deal with your BIL in the future. If you weren't going there before you got married I don't see why you must go there now, after all your company has put you on some medical scheme with a hospital so take advantage of it as an employee

avosoft:

staying single in Nigeria affords the opportunity for a lady to be promiscuous. And our society does not allow it or recognized

Avosoft na wao for you oooo .

I beg to differ, living on your own may afford you lots of opportunities to be promiscuous or mis-behave in other ways but a person chooses how he or she will live on their own. A female friend lived alone for a long time and she lived by strict personal rules e.g

1. Male visitors do not sleep over except her blood relations
2. Her place wasn't open to visitors at 8.00pm which she made known to both male & female friends, a few of us thought she was joking and made the mistake of storming her place at about pass 8.00pm. She ignored us for some time and then finally came out to read us the riot act and march us off her door step
3. If you were at her at place before 8.00pm by 7.30pm at most you would be out etc etc

It wasn't funny but we quickly learnt to respect her rules and abide by them, she did all of that because she desired and was determined to live a disciplined life away from home. My respect for her skyrocketed to cloud 9.

In order of priority

1. I want to have s. e. x. in an approved way and manner in God's sight, without feelings of guilt and shame.

2. I would appreciate a good companion to talk to things over with, face life's challenges together with etc

3. I would like to have children though am not very keen on this one because am scared of the many ills in our society that hurt young ones like child molestation, rape of female children etc I've seen a lot of evil in my time and I wonder is bringing another life into this world worth it?

The problem with most of us is that we are often consumed with worry about what people would say or think of us, as such we hold ourselves back from doing things that are worthwhile.

What does your husband think and how does he feel about adoption at this stage? You haven't said anything at all about him it's your family and his family's reactions you are concerned about but that's the only person (besides God) whose opinion should really matter.

And why is it every time a woman says she's having difficulty conceiving we quickly assume she most be really old or has health issues? Delays like this happen and I wish we would stop making assumptions

She hasn't asked our advice on how to get pregnant, or whether she should keep trying to get pregnant BUT IF SHE SHOULD ADOPT Please let's keep that in focus.

@ poster

You are candid and unpretensious I like that   and like you I have thought of marriage along similar lines i.e we can have kids, share expenses BUT we maintain our individuality within the marriage and do not get into each others faces/business 90% of the time because we are married, we also respect one another's privacy.

I've thought of this not because I want to answer Mrs. at all cost and ''complete the picture of a well rounded woman who has a man by her side'', but I honestly think to myself that marriage would be easier with less pressure this way. Particularly if couples do not attach themselves to each other like inseparable siamese twins who must share everything and do everything together in the name of marriage.

Women are particularly fond of this attachment they want their husbands to go to every function with them, do things with them all the time and they practically lose themselves and just settle for being Mike,James or Tom's wife. Their interests, hobbies, passions as individuals completely take a back seat.

Girl whatever works for you, but as a believer I would advice that you pray for God's will to be done and not yours in every area of your life.

Why is he still alive? That kid deserves jungle justice after what he tried to do.