When you are about to marry, many married women will give you a million advise. The advise will be enough for an observant person to know what they are getting into.

They'll say... People change o.
Be patient
Be humble
Persevere
Don't talk too much
Respect your elders
Be hardworking.
A woman must know how to look away.

There's usually little advice for the man. Even when there is... Its halfhearted like yeah we are supposed to tell u this but u know what bro... You are d boss. You can do as you please.

It always sounds like you are going into a war room for a woman.

Nobody walks into marriage with so much temerity and doesn't pinch themselves few months later like... Things aren't what I thought they'd be. I thought I knew this person so much. I thought I read all the books and gained all the wisdom.

Women lose a lot in marriage. Your shape changes after childbirths. You can't change that. Your name changes and for a split second you go thru a small identity crisis however proudly you think ur stressing that Mrs Somebody somewhere ur brain is like yo! This is gonna take some getting used to.
You have no choice but to grow all the wisdom expected and they tell u whatever he does... U have to take it or else you will be termed as illtempered and immature.
On the other hand... The family will always cast you for any signs of imperfections on your side.

Marriage is a lot of pressure on a woman.
I don't blame anyone who isn't rushing into it.

Doesn't mean marriage is bad or that people don't want it.

Older women who aren't married made a choice between mental stability, self love and happiness versus child bearing, someone else's surnname and societal acceptance. Its a tough choice to make... But happiness is one of the things we all strive for in the end. We should let people find their happiness in whatever works for dem and not compare dem to people who might have forfeited their happiness in order to achieve something else.

amicable09:

Why is this particular name's translation difficult?

Lol. The translation isn't difficult. Its just DAT translation can't capture some things in a word.

I just learnt its actually Abimibaola while I was translating Abimibiola... Abimibaola - Meaning I was born and I met wealth. Whatever sha. There's birth and there's wealth. Cool!

sisisioge:
Jealousy ni...in actually fact, most of these castigating people are single younger girls whose idea of marriage is seen as ill-informed third parties, married unhappy women or the male counterparts in both versions.


Yes, I wanna be married someday. However, I would rather stay single forever than be married to a man who isn't after my heart. Take your time to look into the eyes of a handful of married women...what you will see will scare you. May God help us choose right.

You are so right. Judgements are clouded by the falsehoods society has painted. Experience is d best teacher.

amicable09:

You got Olamide's meaning right. I was told abimbawealth is Abimbola (born into wealth)

No o.

Born into wealth actually is Abisola.
Abimbola literally is they born me born wealth. My self and wealth... Born together.

akandejames:
Let me sight the following points as regards this issue:

1. Denigrating or belittling unmarried people is just immature and bad, simple...
2. Statistically, some nations are getting extinct given their prolonged practice of non reproductive culture (Esp. Europe).
3. If a healthy family is the smallest unit of a successful society, then GETTING the FAMILY RIGHT IS TOO IMPORTANT.
4. Given the 3rd point, INTENTIONAL SINGLE PARENTHOOD is just a JOKE, a main contention to successful marriages.
5. A quick rewind into the past 40 to 60 years ago, our forefathers successfully managed their families (monogamy or polygamy)
6. No one (man or woman) was created to be single neither do they want to be single in the real sense, WE JUST WANT TO BE FREE....
7. Yes, being Single and Financially buoyant is an option but why don't you try being Married and Financially buoyant?
8. Remember, MARRIAGE is an institution with RULES and SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE is HARD WORK with GREAT BENEFITS.

So where's this problem coming from?

To solve a problem, you must understand its terrain, causes and promoters, history and geolocation.

1. Why do women (successful or not) decide to remain single?
2. Who benefits when women decide to remain single?
3. Are you telling me u were never interested in any relationship since adolescence?
4. What's your kind of Ideal Man like?
5. How many criteria do you have on your list?
6. Does the economic woes influence relationships?
7. How much damage or effect has CULTURAL DRIFT had on the African Family Structure?

etc... (you can add yours).

We must answer this questions to get to the root of this problems and don't forget, an except from this material, "Protocols of the Elders of Zion", states that the FAMILY UNIT HAS TO BE DESTROYED, MARRIAGE MADE REDUNDANT and UNSUCCESSFUL and likewise GETTING THE WORLD UNDERPOPULATED to mention a few. These are some of the people responsible for many troubles globally however, we share a huge part of the blame too...

I will wrap up my response with a simple advise,

1. Men PLEASE REDUCE YOU EGO, BE TRUTHFUL TO YOUR WOMAN and you will gain her respect.
2. Women, work with your guy as a team mate, pray for him, be his counselor, forget PRIDE and reduce APROKO (i know u can't do wdt it).

I am married and my babe is getting her PhD soon with the support of God and myself.... I take care of her career interests and needs but she KNOWS, FAMILY FIRST...

May the almighty God bless your home.
May God continue to give you the strength to be all you want to be in your home.
May your partner never take your uniqueness forgranted.

I wish more people had your point of view.

Mindfulness:


How many people experience a happy married life?

You will be surprised his many people put concealer on their marriage issues and come outside flaunting what's not. They sleep in misery everyday and get a kick from making other people feel sad because they are not married.

Marriage is not easy doesn't mean some people aren't making it work.

But more often than not, the fact that you are married doesn't mean you are happy. Many people console themselves and say "my kids are my pride and joy. I'm sacrificing for them by being in this marriage.

H2Ossss:


Kudos to u... though i strongly doubt d definitely happy part.... but probably its time to think of d future... when u re much older... kids to take care of u and probably what ever investment u leave behind... imagine at 70 wit no kids and grand kids... u mgt just bore urself to death.... anyways... kids must nt come thru marriage

Lol! Its not today our society has acted as if they hold peoples reasoning and happiness in their own hands and can tell if you are happy, if you deserve to be happy, and if you are entitled to that happiness. Its very interesting. But society is d reason people make mistakes in a rush and cannot truly be themselves.

Anyway kids don't always bring this happiness. Why is it that in Africa we have kids for personal benefits not because of d love we share with our partner? Are kids brought to this world to serve as insurance for when we are old and gray?

Also what will be d plight of a sterile person if marriage is for bringing forth kids to avoid loneliness in the future?

An African man once said to his stubburn child "I'm glad God gave me five. If you die, I won't feel it."

amicable09:

Lol. Ok.
Those guys are real! You are more real hanging out with them, it's a very comfy hangout spot for you on NL... lol

You are really transparent to me. I know my followers by their comments on different threads and their shares. I can tell you a thing or two about most of them even though I have never met them offline, they unconsciously leave a trace of their real selves when they post stuff.

Gbam! Psychoanalyser of life!

amicable09:

For real?
But there is an abimbawealth moniker, does it mean Abimbola in Yoruba? And then I used to think Olamide means sth about wealth coming. Why do they have Olamide and Abimbola if they mean the same thing?

Lol! You cannot reason wih the logic behind these names. Olamide means my wealth has come... I dnt know what abimbaawealth means.

amicable09:

Thanks a lot. I'm humbled receiving this commendation from you, my coach... lol.

Lmao! You ma'am, are a politician! Coach??

amicable09:

Really!? Abimbola is a name for both males and females!? Had no idea.
What does it mean?

It means I was born along with wealth. I guess,

amicable09:

Hahahaha. I love you Bae! Even more now that you just made me laugh.

I love it when people respond wisely. The lady's response is just perfect! "Drivers are interested. Traders are interested but I'm not desperate enough!" Lol.

Lol! Love you too. And your thots on this issue are so on point..

CzarRex:
frankie the master strategist,do u know that everyone in her family is afraid of entering her room cause of traps and scary things,she's even more scarier than the ghosts in her house...

don't reallly like carly...sam, gibby and spencer are the reason why I do watch icarly,do ya'll know freddie is married in real life.

Wait what? I remember he had one of those purity rings. No sex before marriage. But married? Wow!

amicable09:

Hahahaha. Forgive me Mike, I will stop talking, I'm hoping I stop. Lol.

But your last comment by implication means I amicable, am defending my "status" as a form of consolation. Now this makes me sad if that's the case. Lol. I'm not yet 40, even though I'll soon be! Lol.

Lol! Form of consolation.
Mks me remember a lady who wrote an epistle about this topic. Her point? Leave a single woman alone. Most times she's single by choice, and she's not always as miserable as you think.

Someone responded and said that's only a form of consolation because nobody is interested in her.

Her response? Drivers are interested. Traders are interested... But I'm not desperate enough.

drss:
me na cartoons i like...
avatar.
avatar: legend of kora.
spongebob sq pants.
penquins of madagascar.
jimi neutron.
team umi zomi.
icarly.
kungfu panda.
spice girls.

Yass! Minus spice girls tho. Haven't seen that one o.

CzarRex:
Who else remembers the haunted hathaways my favorite ghost family louie always transforming into usless things

My favorite crush is phoebe mehn I love that gurl die,I also crush on taylor,cat,sam nd bella

Lol! Haunted Hathaway's is so funny just because of Frankie...

Lol! U like dem all. Don't you like Carly ? She's d fairest of them all.

Ourown:


Alright miss Beck

How was ya day like?

Yay! You admit u like Beck too! My day was so so...

qhutetomsel:
spoiler Alert??

Oh! Yeah!
The one she ate hair for a video to join the captain man's fan club

Eeeww!!

As mean as she was.. She got a taste of it. But I felt for her. I really did. So happy Henry helped her

Estharfabian:
Errrm, If You don't mind?


I could really use some extra optimism, Yanno?

You don't have to rub it all in my face!:

---

Newt can't be friend zoned! he's worked so hard!

Lol! Newt will grow so hot and Sophie would want to start famzing saying remember that time u practically worshipped me? But newt would have been so over her, and completely in love with his totally hot bae... But as a nice guy sophie would end up getting friend zoned in return...#Fanfiction!