Fortunately for the occupants, their time wasn't set.

Police man get family sef o.

Originalsly:


Ha! .... hunger never jam you!

True. In one of my other submissions on the thread when someone asked something in this line, I did say 'if I was starving, I WILL ASK, and take whatever is given with lots of gratitude'.

It's however a different scenario when I didn't ask, I am not hungry or starving then someone offers me money. Especially money I can make in 2-3 days.

cococandy:
FFS shush with your rants all over the thread.

Why does the number of years he’s been abroad matter?
Do they owe you more money the longer they live abroad? Y’all’s logic confound me.

If your currency isn’t dollars, I don’t see why the heck you’re calculating the dollar value. Except for some profound deep seated ingratitude. You want to make sure the person giving you the money suffered and sacrificed for it versus giving you something that’s convenient for them.

Pretty sure a Nigerian giving you 20k wouldn’t have been an insult. It’s now an insult because they have the nerve to live abroad.

K

Originalsly:


you can dance around a question! ... but I'm not distracted by your footworks!!... so what if you were offered? ... would you ? ... with gratitude?

If I was offered, I will politely decline.

akube34:
no Dey calculate the money for dollars. Na Naira dem give you. So make I give one mumu 100k cus I don Dey abroad 16years? Una funny. I bin owe am before I comot country?

baba keep your money na. E beg you for money? I don tire for the back and forth. Na you quote me, no be me quote you. Anybody wey come beg you for money, anything e eye see make e collect am like that. Bye.

akube34:
I really don’t understand. Explain this something tangible. Like how much na, 100k?

tangible to me fit no be tangible to you. 10$, 15$ might be tangible to you, it's not to me. Rest

Shikena:
... and this comment got 17 LIKES. Nigerians!!!

He gave the guy 20k Nigerian money, is the guy living in America? Is N20k intangible in Nigeria, and even if so, why not dash it to a struggling neighbor or student nearby? Afterall, it's just a gift! Otherwise, why not just return the money and move on.

Ironically, if you dash people even $1 in America they still say thank you even if they don't need the money. They just dash it out to someone too.

K

PotatoSalad:


Cc
Timoleon
Timoleon
Timoleon

Baba even for the entire write up, it was clear Jesus was starving, na him go beg the woman for food. Beggars cannot be choosers.

The scenario is different.

PoliteActivist:


Anyway I can see right away it is a made-up story - don't know why people can't see that. Nobody would message you after 16 years and tell you to send your account number without any "find something for boys". And how did he get his number?

In the contrary though, it happens severally. Recently it made front page how a stranger gifted another person 80k money for bag of rice. The receiver didn't beg, the receiver wasnt poor. Yet the giver gave out by simply saying send your account number. I'm sure you saw the story.

It happens

PotatoSalad:

It's not even you. It's "friends" around you I pity. You carry that warped mentality still get time to justify am. Someone like you have the tendency to kill out of envy and jealousy.
If you never hear am before, hear the raw undiluted truth. You dey disguise your entitlement mentality with foolish logic.
People around you go think say you wise and are slowly feeding into your foolish ideology.

K

DrOBD:
Its just unfortunate that some people reason like this.
Do you know what people pass through abroad. The fact that he reconnected with hisnfriwnd is enough. If he sent him 20k, thats just an extra for him to do something no matter how small ut may be.
If the guy sent 20k now, he may be able to send 100k at another time, he may also be able to help him in other ways.

By the way,friendship should not be parasitic. This guy in Naija can also send his abroad friend a gift. It does not matter who is abroad or who is in naija.

If he's passing through a lot abroad, his priorities should be fixing his life. 16 years din go, he should focus on his life not giving out money he doesn't have to people that didn't ask

Originalsly:


I hear you! .... so what if you were starving? .... is it you would accept and eat? ... eat with vexation? And we wonder why some people bite their tongue!

if I was starving, I would ask and receive with gratitude. In this case, the receiver didn't ask.

PoliteActivist:


They said 18 years - I wonder if it ever occurred to the home guy here he couldn't have been doing that well to not come home for that long. I bet you his "poor" friend here is doing better than him - happily married, etc.

They said 18 years wrongly. The body of the article says the person left in 2008. To the matter of 'his poor friend' nowhere was it said that his friend was poor. Like it was said in the OP and I have reiterated, the Nigerian based friend didn't ask him for money. The abroad based person messaged by himself to say send you account number. If he was struggling abroad, he should have simply maintained status quo. No harm in that. If I am struggling, my priority will be receiving not giving randomly even to people that didn't ask me for anything.

sunsweet33:


This story just reminded me of something that happened over 10 years ago…one of my friends called me out of the blue and told me that she was clearing out her wardrobe and I could come and take some of the clothes she no longer needed if I wanted them.

I reacted with gratitude and thanked her but something was bothering me that I couldn’t quite identify. Though there was technically nothing “wrong” in what she did, I never came to Collect the clothes even after she reminded me. Actually I should have been more assertive in the first instance, and said “no, thank you”!

Giving Is Complex, and receiving even more so!

Exactly. Some kind of receiving automatically puts you down..Many times my immediate older brother will ask 'do you need anything'y answer is always 'i'm fine thank God, don't worry if I need something I'll surely call you' but I never call'.

I'd hate for someone to expect an eternal gratitude from me over an unsolicited favour.

PotatoSalad:

You be fowl.

I just too weak to insult you back. No time. Shalom.

Major7:






He's a friend and not a relative in the first place,he owe him nothing and did you even know if he sent 20k to 20 people? I know how loads of friends and families are always on their neck. God love a thankful heart remember that

Baba, he did not beg him for money. Go and read the OP. for 16 years that he did not send money, was the receiver eating sand? It wasnt compulsory to give.

PoliteActivist:




How about you are homeless but have #200 but your friend is at a place where the value of that #200 is #1000, and you know that's the best use you can make of that money. Will you send it to him?

If I am homeless, I cannot be sending money to someone who has a roof over his head na. It makes no sense. The 16 years wey we no see, na sand e dey chop?

Alwayshungry:
Did he beg u for money..
Stop insulting people in d guise of helping.
Na see finish be dat.

Na wicked people them be. Imagine your person wey dey sell foodstuff, call you, you no beg am o, he call you say 'come my shop come collect food' you reach the shop finish, he use him left pack one hand full of garri pour am inside your pocket tell you say at least him don try for you. No be see finish be that?

sunsweet33:


I wanted to agree with the OP but on second thoughts, you do have a point. Sometimes people offer to “help” just to condescend and make themselves feel important and not out of a genuine desire to assist.

The only placed where the guy fvcked up was complaining about it to a third person, thereby making himself out to be an ingrate.

He should understand that everything in life is politics. If I were him I would send a nice thank-you message and henceforth move cautiously with the man.

Then again, 16 years ago was a different world. Especially to Americans who mostly live in cloud cuckoo land. It’s possible he thought the 20k would go a long way. But your point is still valid though.

Why did he even send the account details? I don’t think I can accept a pity gesture from someone I hadn’t heard from since 2008. He just assumed I was suffering or what? Don’t you have problems in America too? Hmm.

I agree with you. If I had hoped he was going to send something tangible and he sent 12$, I Would have kept it to myself. Thanked the sender well, and gradually withdraw.

Originalsly:


After 16 years .... how much was he supposed to give? The fact that he is looking at the amount .... and attaching it to the years is clearly entitlement mentality. In his mind ... he expected to receive x amount as the minimum and it was not .... not what he was entitled to receive.
I've heard that a long time ago .... a mutual friend complained to me that another friend returned after 4 years and gave him only $40. It was then my eyes cleared and I made sure I wouldn't make such a mistake and insult anyone. If I gift someone $20 .... and learn that the person wasn't pleased ... I need that money back ... one will get it back one way or the other. Rapid devaluation is devastating... and most don't really understand immediately that it will turn their life upside down . It is now more than ever... that people need financial help from abroad ... but entitlement mentality will prevent many from sending to friends and relatives. If more people were grateful.... a whole lot more would've been receiving. The average Nigerian abroad can afford to send $100 per month ... no sweat. He knows so many that are suffering and wants to send $20 each to 5 persons. But then this is likely to be an insult.... as we can see in the topic ... and many comments. So what he does....send to no one... or just one person.

Baba in this instance, the receiver didn't ask him for money. He didn't send him any money for 16years, it didn't change the dynamics of their friendship. If you no get, you no get. The next 16 years can come and go without you giving life goes on as it had done the previous 16 years. If you feel you should give, give something tangible. If not maintain status quo.

You dey chop 'meat pie', I no beg you for food,I no beg you for money, you pinch 'meatpie' gimme say make I chop. Wetin be that?

emkz:
The person who offered $12 was wrong.

However, it is those abroad who caused this problem. What they don't tell folks back home is that the bills they must pay abroad are crippling. When I visited the US, some of the bills did not make sense to me. Imagine house rent of $2300 for a place. How much us your salary to be able to afford it, fuel your car, eat, and save?

For those in Nigeria who convert from dollars to naira, be aware that what you are ungrateful for can be someone's hourly pay, and it can be an excruciating hour.

The lesson I learnt: give out money to those who genuinely need it and not because you have money to throw away. I was able to save for my business by completely ignoring useless requests for phones, "taking care of myself", suspicious business proposals, "let me chop your money", and "I need money for fuel or uber".

Some of the people in Nigeria do not need your money. You are the one who assume that they do. That is where the problem starts.

It makes a lot of sense to give out to those who completely need it. If you were eating a pie, and the next person beside you reached out to say they were hungry, if you gave out the remaining pie, the receiver will do so with so much gratitude. If however the person beside you didn't ask you for anything and you offered that half eaten pie, it's no longer a kind gesture. That's a nerve tester that may not end nicely.

ZaddyJ:

Atimes try to be appreciative bro and your prayer to that person for the little he or she does will ginger that person to do more. Or that ( america based )friend may just try to test the friend back home to see his reaction.

I will tell you a story about the lady I eventually now call my wife . Back in 2020 when the world fell apart ( covid) I ve never asked her for money before since we met in 2019. As its not my thing to beg people for money I no like disappointment or see finish
I was so pressed that I dont know who to meet . So I begged her and she told me she was waiting for me to ask because she knew that I will be in need of it.
She sent 13k for me and two other persons which includes her tailor . Her tailor and I were grateful but the other guy wasnt rather he was bittered that she could be sent him more like a 100 dollar .
After we met she told me she was thinking after she sent me that money I wont show up ever again. I tld her I wasnt brought up like that and that, that little token u gave me goes a long way.
Till date that lady will find me to be honest ,trustworthy and loyal .
All these was because how I'm so appreciative and wont complain about big or small because her presence is what matter to me than her status in life.
We got married last year july

Your story is different though. She ensured you are the one who came to beg her for money. Beggars can't be choosers, that's what we've been taught since childhood. Please go read the op's article, the abroad based friend sought the 'neighbor' out. The neighbor didnt go begging. He was not compelled to give.

If me and you dey class, your mama give you lunch well packaged come school, my mama no get shishi to gimme. If during break I beg you for food, you say open your hand come pour two spoons there, I go tell you thank you chop with gratitude. But if my mama gimme my own food come school or I carry money for pocket, you come call me say because our eye jam say make i open my hand collect one spoon before longer throat kill me, na fight me and you go fight las las

LordFA:


Last Last they will say its entitlement mentality

Na person wey never see money before, or really stingy people go say na entitlement mentality.

Person wey no get money no dey invite person for party. If you invite people for party serve them rice no meat no water, don't expect any gratitude. You have insulted your guests

VIKTO83:
That's about 65cent per year.

You sef reason am. Meanwhile, the sender will never let it go over the receiver's head. Hell forever expect gratitude for 'that time' he sent 12.8$

Major7:






Dude,stop joining the ungrateful wagon, would he not have survived without the 20k? It's just an addition he should be grateful for. God loves a thankful heart

That's the very reason that friend shouldn't have sent that kind of money after 16years. Bro didn't beg him for money, he messaged bro himself. I dey sell food, you dey waka for front of my shop, I call you pour food for floor, tell you make you chop because country hard. You go chop am? You go kneel down tell me thank you pray for me? Fact Is wether I gave you food or not, you go survive. If I no give you at all na my right to not give, na me know how economy dey affect my market. However, there are ways to give and ways not to give. If I must give I must do it in a way that does not diminish the receiver's dignity.

You can be abroad 100years and not give anything, nobody is entitled to your money. It is unwarranted to call out if the blues after almost two decades to say I hear say country hard, here's 12$.

faceland:
Your neighbor would vex if tomorrow he heard rumors that: "I use to feed him back in 2024, would send him $12.8k so he go chop"

Na wetin go happen tomorrow na. Person wey send you 12$ go expect make you treat am as alpha and omega.

DropsMic:


A slowpoke and more.
There’s such thing as disrespect. Sometimes e better make you no give than to disrespect someone.
Everything no be entitlement mentality

Nigerians tire me aswear. Person invite me come him party, e gimme rice, no meat or fish, no spoon tell me make i sidon for floor chop am say after all no be my money e take cook the rice. No be mad disrespect be that? If you no get enough especially as a Nigerian, no invite person come party. Once you do, that person is entitled to be treated with dignity.

NinjaMetahuman:
you can literally reject the money or give it out to someone else if you are too big for it.

But trust me, if he has 1billion naira to give out next time, he definitely won't remember ungrateful entitled friends.

K

StPete:



Your comment is the only reasonable comment I've seen so far. You just spoke my mind.

It is better you even send shoes, or other items than send a paltry $12. Is there any reasonable thing u can buy with $12 in the US apart from food and groceries?

Nothing else bro. Even the food and groceries it will get you is the junk category.

Mentcee:


OK, now that you've smitten my mum with your highly egregious and execrable ignorance, can you now feel very good?

I didn't mention you. You mentioned me with your busy body. Try dey mind your business.

NinjaMetahuman:
Gratitude is the key.

You are not entitled to anybody's money unless they are your parents.

It's free money, if 50 naira is too small for you, you can dash someone else.

What is wrong with people?

Keep your money. If you don't have to give, don't give. Don't insult people in the guise of giving. If I dey sell food, person reach my front ask for food, I no go pour food for floor tell am make e go chop am for floor then expect am to show gratitude. I go rather tell am say food no dey.


I no go invite person come party give am rice, no meat, no spoon, tell am make e chop like that expect am to chop with gratitude after all, no be him money I take cook. E no make any sense. If I no invite am to the party, him dignity go dey intact.