Popflair:
So I met this girl sometime last month. At GT Bank ATM.
She just walked in and met the long queue—like a giant millipede we curved out to the road.
I saw her wilt, that automatic tired face you make when you just want to breeze in and take some cash and then you are greeted with this ugly-looking train of straight-faced people.
Nothing quite more dispiriting.
She came closer and asked if I was the last person. I said yes. I have shifted for her to stand behind me when she said this stupid thing. Had she not been pretty I would have hissed openly at her. But you know that patience afforded by being beautiful, what it does to men. In the attraction, you will smile when you are supposed to frown, burst open in laughter when you only could have just smiled. Quite inexplicable.
She’d said, in pleading voice though, ‘Please can you help me beg the next person to allow me?’
I looked at her.Is she ok?In fact, even on her face I saw this was something she was experienced at doing–getting guys to do chores for her.Fine girls sef.But today her luck had run out because when fine girl jam fine boy, the bed suffers.
Ok, fine, I made that up. And please stop glaring at me, I am a fine boy. Fine-boyish.
‘Madam, see that guy in yellow,’ – I was pointing— ‘he is the next person, go and talk to him yourself,’ I said.
She obviously caught the sarcasm, the way she curled her lips in a small, crooked smile. ‘Okay, please, the issue is that my sister and I are already running late. Where is the next closest bank around here?’
‘You have to bike to Bank Street. All the banks are there.’
‘Oh, no need of biking. We came with a car.’
That was when I looked and saw the shiny black Jeep parked off the road slightly ahead. Had I seen that machine before, I would have been nicer.
‘So can you direct me on how to locate the street?’ she asked.
‘Well, since you are mobile I can go with you in your car.’
‘Oh, better. Thanks a lot.’
She thanked me about twice as we walked to the car. Little did she know that I should be the one thanking her. If not that I had just N60 in my pocket I would have since gone to Bank Street myself and made my withdrawals.
I was surprised when we got to the Jeep and I discovered she wasn’t even the one driving. A large, older lady was behind the steering, dark glasses over her eyes and a pair of wireless headphones above her head. She was nodding rhythmically, obviously to the music from the headphones.
She rolled down her glass when she saw us.
‘Did you succeed?’ she asked.
The girl with me shook her head and told her what had happened.
‘Oh that’s nice of you,’ the big lady said. ‘Hop in please.’
I entered the car. The sudden feel of cool air from the car AC gave me a brief glimpse of what heaven would be like.
‘So, young man, what is your name?’ the big lady asked me. Her eyes did not leave the wheel.
‘James, Ma,’ I said.
I knew if I had mentioned Olatunbosun and satan takes the day she happens not to be Yoruba, I will keep repeating the name till we get to the street. It has happened before.
‘Student?’ she asked.
‘Final year. Chemical Engineering,’ I said.
‘Oh, how very nice,’ she said with a slight smile, a smile that meant she’d heard better.
I guess at that moment I was overtaken by that jubilant feeling of being infinalswhen you feel like you are the most important person in the world.
‘The street is your next turn, Ma,’ I said, as if to mask the complacency in my former words.
‘Ok. Left or right?’
‘Left.’
She stopped the car in front of GT Bank, the more modern-looking GTB on Bank Street.
I was getting down when I heard the big woman say, ‘Sweet heart, won’t you get your friend’s number at least?’
The other girl smiled at me and extended her phone—an Iphone, I couldn’t tell now which model. From the way it felt in my hand, it must have been nothing less than Iphone8.
I pressed in my digits and without seeking her permission dialled it before handing the phone back.
‘Oh you dialled it already,’ she said as she looked at her phone.
‘Yes.’ My yes was not audible. My Tecno has started her signature jazz, drowning out my voice.
‘I will call you,’ I said, rushing out of the car without bothering to hear her response.
The big lady waved at me before her glass slid up, concealing her.
I watched their car go down a bit and then turn into Access Bank.
I turned and walked into the bank space. As common to anything GTB, there was still a small queue. By the time I walked out, their car was gone.
I called Phoenix (that was what she later told me her name was) two days after. It was one of those lazy days you keep scrolling down your contacts while checking MTN Zone rate.
When she answered, I was surprised she called my name, that she remembered me. That means she had actually saved my number. Quite surprising for a Naija girl seen in a Jeep.
We talked for some minutes. I made her laugh. I was quite skilled at making girls laugh. Though some days can be awful—or some girls—and the comedy technique won’t work. Sometimes you only get that patronizing smile that makes you feel more stupid than funny. Our girls are quite all sorts.

Old story dis isn't ur story it's copy and paste from facebook pple and copy and paste claiming story that isn't theirs

PassingShot:
How else would one explain an unprovoked and unnecessary attack?

I comment my reserve shey I tell am say trouble dey sleep eyanga go wake am

Cutehector:
lmao, did u see ugly attached to my moniker? Of course they r d cute ones.. Especially u.. Ur following me.. Hehehhehe

Lmao u r not serious? We ave the ugly n sexy together,den beautiful but unsexy and we ave d all round u know what I mean yeye dey smell

Cutehector:
six pants? 3 bra? Really? Dis is serious

Na only those once u see shey

Cutehector:
All female nairalanders are my assets....

They must b some particular once abi the ugly once join too

PassingShot:

Unprovoked attack is a sign of frustration and miserable living!

Calling someone you don't know outside NL arrogant and pompous is an indication of low self esteem. That's not my fault and there is nothing I can do to help your situation, I'm sorry.

MizMyColi, please don't mention me alongside this particular moniker anymore. You can clearly see what he has made of your innocent and sincere intention here.

Lol so u mean his frustrated?

dunsman:
Ringing.. Ringing.. Ringing..

Dunsman: (picks) hello.

Frank: hello dunsman, this is Frank idowu from who wants to be a millionaire.

Dunsman: Ok.

Frank: Your friend passing shot is on the hot seat and he is one question away from wining #10m

Dunsman: ok.

Frank: the question is abou the current state of nigeria economy. So the next voic e you will b hearing will be dat of your friend. Remember you only have 30 secs to answer. Good luck

30...29..28..

Shot: dunsman!! What is d current position of Nigeria ’s economy in Africa?? A) 4th B)..

Dunsman: cuts in... Beg abeg y u dae ask me , am I d appropriate person to ask? Y cant you ask your president. Well as a friend I will help, as at may 29th she was in fist position, but now dat a so called new sheriff is in town, I can really say. But..

Time up!!!

Frank: wow, dat must be a real disappointment.. So wats your finally answer?

Shot: uhmmm..uhmmm.uhmm I think..I..will go for.. First position

Frank: final answer??

Shot: uhmm.. Yap final answer

Frank: final answer!! Uhmm if u choose six, u would have missed it, but I have to say.. U got... The answer.. Wrong!!!
The correct answer can only be given by a sincere Nigerian

U are a true Nigeria so u can help with the answer

dunsman:
My assets includes
450 pairs of shoes 200 trousers and shir5s 24 mobile phones, including 6 iPhone gold plated 15 vehicles including bus, Bugatti, ferarri 50gfs 500shares in shares at Union Bank 45 lands in which 44 are untraceable

Ur assets r well complete

Whynotthetruth:


ERM ERM ...I don't wanna lie or deceive people like Buhari did...Just like Fayose observed; I don't have mud houses or miracle cows that multiply in geometric progression...but God be praised for blessing me exceedingly above the wish of arrogant & pompous Passingshot

Hehehe trouble dey sleep person go wake am declare ur asset asap

peeparty:
With the asset declaration of Mr President i hereby declare my
assets as follows
(1) One hot drink.

(2) Four tootbrushes

(3) Three
fowl(one missing)

(4) Five boxers./singlet.

(5) Three tubers of yams.

(6)Three tyres.

(7) Three girl friends(two on part time)

(one bathroom sleepers.

(9)1 hat

(10)One nokia
2300 phone and 3,000 in my access bank account.


Trypa have fulfilled my promise to Nigerians.

Lol nice list dear well fulfilled

profojah:
Hahaha... Your asset tho . You're fuccking poor

Na watin our country dey cause

MizMyColi:

Passingshot Whynotthetruth Kaboninc
When will you declare your assets?

Declare ur own asap

Brightology2:
Bubu must hear dis. U must b probe or has his body odour nt gotten 2 ur side?

Mk any e-cow nr quote me o.

Lol

Swaggzkid:


Y you lie I heard you also have Gold necklace *chai* you never list your asset finish, and you will be probed.

#Adoowonsue

Dat was is my grandmum assets o

As a good citizen ave also declared my own asset which are 1*five trouser 2*9 tops 3*3 skit 4*no house 5*two bathroom slippers 6*two shoes 7*three pam slippers 8*one belt/two watches 9*half bag of pure water 10*one drum of rain water 11*one bottle of oil cream(ororo eran dindin) 12*two phone bb n nokia palasa 13*three kongo of black yam floor(elubo isu) 14*four ankara 15*three pot and one kettle 16*one set of spoons and plate 17*one lantern 18*one stove 19*one carpet and one mouka foam 20*14inch LG TV/one decoder 21*one boyfriend 22*six pants and three bra 23*N1000@GT bank and 1,875@union bank 24*gex I ave ah cat and bike as well Lobatan Thanks all
Peeparty Asumo Lanicky Profojah

Cutehector:
ur goin to see ur boo? ddint u hear wat happend to dat unilag bae dat got electrocuted abi?

I know but....

Eureka123:
There are excessively bold people on earth. I will do my best to hold back the sarcasm swelling up within me. SMH big time.



Well, I'm not one to insult people, so I'll leave the bashing to the others. I just hope you aren't an Igbo girl.

Lol she thinks here is FB na frying pan to fire she enter can't stop laughing

Cutehector:
fyn oooo.... Tomoro is tgif thinz I"m eatin coconut... U like?

Going to see my boo #dancingshoki I like coconut love the crunchy sound

profojah:

My boo.. What ya doing here?. You wan write TOEFL/GRE?.. Come to chat derailer make we finish our talk.. Check your mail also.. I sent one this evening

Didn't see any sha mention mi on the thread ok.

Brytawon:




Runaway girlfriend...

RobinHez:

ah!
According to momma: I was a sucking champion!
I'd suck one while handling the other...she had a hard time stopping weaning me

LolZ thumps up to her

profojah:
.

Cow boo or which? Yes anyone wia u go teach mi oya start

RobinHez:

just 6 months?

When mum breastfed me for almost 1yr+...

Lol with all the teeth u gat in ur mouth n gums

kobe79:

i be OKO no be only OBO

profojah:

Yessoo.. Make person use that experience study IT.. MS Tyre and Phone engineering... I only packaged fufu inside phone once for someone and I realised huge money from the mofo wey buy the phone..

lol baddest boy yeye dey smell