And they thought it was a joke

I give up

Anny505:
In Porthacourt, The moment you hear "Aboi Lap" or "who goes you" in areas like Choba, Alakahia or Diobu, my brother just DisCharge, especially Diobu.

Lol those boys are not happy. No joy, no single joy, not even a single smile on their faces, SMH sometime I wonder if their parents were quarreling that night.

So as I was saying, if you hear something like that, just discharge, If you cannot DisCharge, you DisEngage, if you cannot DisEngage, you DisEmbark, if you cannot DisEmbark, just DisSomething*, like DisAppear, don't even stand to count how many syllabus words the sentence has, or try to comprehend the kind of "Lap" they're are referring to, because it will surely end in tears.

You'll hear something like: "aboi! lap,
who goes you"?
And you'll be like: "chairman na me nau,"( smiling in between)
Bad guy1: "Wetin dey your pocket?
You: "Nothing o".

By this time, looking at their faces, you must have realised that they are not your friends or the vigilante group you have been using to strong your mind and be coming home anytime you like.

But they are actually the people your aunty have been warning you about anytime you came back late, and you'll be like
"aunty nothing dey happen",
now you have seen, something is about to happen!

The mistake you'll make is to tell him, "chairman na your boy nau, na we we, abeg make I go".
Lol... LMFAO "Go shawty it's your birthday! (in 50cent's voice)
The next thing you'll hear is a thunderous slap followed by: "gimme your kappa"!

The other impatient nigga will be like:
"LM why you dey carry this Jew man dey totori body, obtain this maga make we zoom for here"
Bad guy1: "oya pass me the Stainless, make him believe me small, e be like say e dey carry me dey play, hope say groundnut dey inside"?

It is at this point in time you'll realise that all the Action Movies you have been watching was a waste! You would have used that time to read your Bible, but no, Netflix and Netnaija didn't allow you to think straight!, now look at your life?

John Wick killed a group of bad guys with just a pencil and here you are repeatedly slapped by two boys, tears flowing freely from your eyes, and your left hand still stuck on your cheeks, the funny part is that, they are not even up to your junior brother's age, Inside life.

But what can you do, they are holding Stainless with groundnuts inside, so you have no other choice but to Corporate or do you want to Appear Tomorrow Morning on RSTV News

P/S: If you can actually understand the bad guys lines, you're a cultist

Bros you funny wella...the John wick part really caught me...hahahahahaha.

I think this is the best thread on NL for now...funny and as well very educating. Have really learnt a lot.. keep the stories coming it really saving lifes here..

Anglican or Catholics... its practiced more by Catholics than the Anglican communion.

This is freaking insightful...JESUS....

Only if the Nigeria govt could think beyond their anus.. This guy can be adopted by the govt.. Rehabilite him and maybe do his time as a punishment and help him develop that brain.. Who knows how many likes of him are out there who would be willing to come out from there hideout... Abi we never ripe to dey produce our own locally made weapons. We have to start from somewhere. Only if these criminals in govt could see the big picture.. What do I know sef...

Brodapounds:
Hello dear nairalanders.

Please I'm going through a state of mental confusion.

Currently i have approximately 20 million and 300 thousand naira in my bank account.

I have two thoughts.

1) I am 25 years old but I'm not a university graduate, i only have ND (National deploma) from a polytechnic In Edo state, Auchi precisely.

I would have become a graduate years ago but after my "ND" years ago, i refused to go back to school and i decided to hustle for money.

Most of my classmates in school back then are all graduates but all the same, looking at my bank account now, i have no regrets.

So this is what i plan on doing.

1) Can i further my Education In any university in the United States with the money and plan on staying back after my degree, for the fact that I'm 25.
Will that be advisable?

2) should i stay back in Nigeria and use part of the money to build a house In my hometown in Benin and use the rest for business?

3) Is there a chance of going to USA and start all over again, look for job.
Will the money be enough to rent a house, foot some bills untill i see a job in the USA.

Note i choose USA only because it's my dream country, I'm not scared of the traveling ban because I'm 100% confident that it will be taken away few months from now.

Please i won't be replying any mention or questions.

All i want is to take note of good advice.

I already know a reliable traveling agent.

Please other suggestions are welcomed apart from mine.

Please help

Bros.. Forget about all this invest in Nigeria blablabla.. You are very young. At 25 you still got a lot to achieve. Canada is your sure bet. Forget about the USA dem no go give you visa weda visa ban or not. With that u can move to canada successfully with a TWP that you can convert to a PR if your employer can get you a lama. My brother the world is evolving and Nigeria is not going same direction. Travel out and go explore the unlimited opportunities out there. Maybe someday you will enter the US from there. I don talk my own.

STDisReal:
Hello guys, Please i need a business that I can start with 1 million naira and it will be fetching me between 5 - 10k daily.
I will like if it meets the following specifications
Type of business: Offline
Less supervision: I have a stressful 9 - 5 work
Easy accountability
Location - Abuja

Download the jordan radio app and listen to successful sanmi from 8:30am everyday or you go to his youtube and watch his videos. You will be glad you did.

PassingShot:
The funny but true thing is that, if that 2019 election is repeated today, PMB will still floor his opponents.

Frustrated, unintelligent, foolish youths!

Oil dey your head

bizza45:
op if u want to start a thread about something that ain't religion go ahead and do it ... which one b all these prayer warrior stuff here

By there fruit you shall know them

Employment opportunity don land oo... Aboki ti take over..

bigiyaro:
apart from the nyash n to.to what else?

The breas.t

Officialgarri:
Why do I think this is just a stunt?

Cuz you are the thomas of our time..nothing is ever real to you anu mpam..

Bros sorry ooo...
Firstly, you are always too excited before and during kerewa. Meaning your imagination alone about how you gonna penetrate that hole so bad is too high. I understand how happy one can feel when his about to go down the hole but you just have to control it. Kerewa is a thing of the mind. Control your excitement level before getting down.

Secondly, you have to control your sugar intake. You take too much of food containing sugar. Sometimes try to get fresh bitter leaf wash very well, squeeze the juice out filter and put on a plastic bottle, get garlic, grind very well and add with the bitter leaf juice. Take a full cup morning and night, do this for 2weeks.

Thirdly...brb

March 22 mugu

solmus:



its not a secret Iran backs most Shiite worldwide, just as Saudi backs sunis worldwide, Vatican backs all Catholics worldwide or American Backing Saudi and Isreal in the middle east.. the only question is when has a Shiite killed anyone anywhere to tag them terrorist

Typical Western neo colonialism Propaganda always revolves around religions they used in colonizing the rest of the world, they know poor man fears religion rather than common sense

Simple facts

*Bin Laden the Father of modern day terrorism was from Saudi billionaire rich Family specially trained by CIA, and funded by US to lead havoc in the middle east, after US regime change Democrat Vs Republican they started fighting Alqaeda and Bin Laden retailiated, instead of fighting Saudi Bin Ladens Origin , US fought Afghanistan his adopted base and blew them to crumbs while they frolicked with Saudis

*ISIS was a rag tag anti Iraq government militias, US funded them, armed them and used them to fight Sadam Husien (because they wanted Kuwait Oil) , falsely claiming he had weapon of mass destruction, Isis delivered Sadam and continued wrecking havoc in Iraq and spreading like wild fire over middle east, while US base in Iraq turned blind eye

*Libya under Gadhafi enjoyed prosperity, and Sub Sahel Africa enjoyed peace, until the day Gadhafi proposed an idea of trading crude oil with gold or other commodity and not US dollars, they forcefully removed any form of authority in Libya and turned it to a command less country that they massively flood with Arms which flowed from Niger, Chad to Nigeria

* In the height of killing and bombing in Nigeria with tens of people being killed daily many Christian, Children and Women, the US issued a powerful sanction that Nigeria under Jonathan cant buy any weapon in the US or allied Nation, and weapon bought from other Countries cant fly over US allied countries, when Jonathan tried blackmarket in South Africa his money and plane was seized and at the end why did US purnish us so hard with people losing their lives and being blown apart? because we signed Anti Gay right bills in to Laws, same reason for withdrawal of sales of Ebola Virus



.

You seems to know so much...tell us more

Nigerians and there foresight nature... See as guys dey there house wit there android phone dey predict wetin carry another man go another man house... I hail una oo.

TissuePaper:
Dammmmn Nigggaaar

A fresh Creamy pussy would have saved that boy's life

Na Toto go kill you one day

But why China no want any help from this guys..or even from the rest of the world

SangoOlukosoOba:
Max 54 times.

For me, At 50, I quit.

Lol...seriously

Me

Hi guys have been in this heated argument with her since morning cus i called twice and she was away from her phone and now shes annoyed that i was supposed to call atleast 4times before coming to conclusion on her not reachable.. So I decided to ask, How many times should be enough to ring one's phone? Me I think 2 times is enough to get the other person pick the call.

This is cool... And am opting for this. Weda she gree or not. But will make sure my photographer do a perfect job...thanks for this post

Wealthoptulent:


No one who knows about car well goes for Nissan products! Waste of money , if u sabi car well u go know say Nissan, Mazda and GMC or Chevy no be 9ja usage. Cut off trimming belt ... bend enough valves�����

I swear you know am well

Nissan maxima...God saved my life. Nothing was good about that car. Power stiring, overheating. Everytime i dey find water to top up. If I wan turn the stiring I go dey sweat cars go dey blow horn at me. Thank God I successfully transferred to another person. Got a toyota sienna. That one self disturb. Now just enjoying my 2009 corolla I can't kill my self joor

This is politics a game of interest....he has to defect so as to get a large chunk from the national cake....he has bills to pay... If you can't beat them you join them. Wise up people this is 9jeria where everybody is fantastically corrupt. We just have to accept our fate and hope for a better life through our own personal struggle.... If you can afford a ticket jet out, whatever you can do to get a better life just do it....I greet Una...

Kudos to my governor for a job well done.. I surely know from day one you were installed that you had no better plan not even a manifesto for this mission.. Well... No be your fault sha.. I blame those kitchen cabinet way dey aso rock.

Akinowon123:
Okay, the answer to your problem or boyfriend's is simple. Due to experience, I once read about the same problem and av gotten quite well the answers

Quick ejaculation had to do with the mind if u ask me,,, he watches porn and always want to write like they do there whereby leading to quick cumming.

He is always anxious about fucking you which shouldn't be. I was once like that and that was because I get to see p*sy like once in a month and when I do.....my rod will be so hard and ready to strike whereby not lasting long

I read on a website on Google about having the mind of lasting long and taking it slow. And it really worked for me........I go slow at first and later start increasing the speed. Whenever I notice I might cum soon, I remove my rod and pause for like two seconds and return. This will really help last long

Lady this is your best solution. Every other talk here na lie. Just follow wet in this man talk.

G

Old pinshure

You know why I love these guys (A PC) they know what it means to be in POWER....