Usefulsense:
I see revolution coming.

Dobodobo04:


Don’t envy them. Nigeria will be better soon.

We can take advantage of weak naira by starting to export Nigerian products. Government should make airports and seaport export ready!!!

The jobs abroad aren’t as many and even if you get the jobs, there are many deductibles before you enjoy your take home pay.

Also, if you want to Japa and take full benefits of abroad, learn technical skills like welding, plumbing, electrician, nursing, coding, mechanics, machinists, etc.
We look down upon these jobs in Nigeria but they are money making crafts abroad.

If you Japa with just a degree in business admin or any foolish course, you will either wash toilet or look after old people abroad.

DiamondJLove:
father lord,please grant us love dat will not bring regrets,bless our marriages,give us peace,do not let us manage our marriages.do not let our enemies mock us,and bless d work of our hands.Amen.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

Puss360:
You both are not a virgin.. so what is bothering you...
Why are guys sef concerned about the number of guys a girl has slept with?? Of what use is that information to you?
Any guy that ask me that rubbish question, end of frndship... Rubbish

The average Nigerian assumes all their friends and family members abroad are living the good life and sipping on champagne. That is not the true reality for most Nigerians that choose to relocate abroad. Jobs one will never have contemplated such as security, cleaner,cashier,warehouse worker becomes an attractive prospect to most immigrants living abroad to put food on their table and have shelter over their heads.

The truth is if you want to achieve your full potential and acquire wealth, then staying back in Nigeria is the best option. In terms of fixed and liquid assets you will find majority of your peers in Nigeria have surpassed you. Life abroad for even those with white collar jobs involves: lay-offs and a mortgage you will spend 10-30 years paying off.

What relocation abroad offers you and your children is security which no money can buy in Nigeria. You can travel across any western country after midnight without fear of running into kidnappers,ritualists,armed robbers and facing extortion from law enforcement.Also, the stress of not worrying about your children when they venture to any part of the city at odd hours of the night is something that cannot be bought with money.

What well to do Nigerians realize is that their money can't buy security or health. Nigeria has descended to full anarchy, that unless you move with bulletproof car and have a battalion of armed soldiers and mopols your safety is not guaranteed. Every Nigerian has been affected by the insecurity plaguing the country. One of the memories I remember as a child was when my family got attacked by armed robbers along Benin-Ore expressway and later in my University days when my Dad got kidnapped for a week.

The reason most Nigerians choose to relocate abroad is to sleep with two eyes closed and to live in environment where the security of their family is guaranteed.

juman:


You are right.
He should not throw away his grace, success and happiness to embrace defeat, failure and sadness.

Over a million naira job is big job most people in abroad would jump onto to grab if they have the chance.

aysnoopy:


Village people are whispering to you not to go. This I've seen

Walehelt:
Fyi

That ENP you're tryin to impress, you won't see her pant

Johnrake69:
Where Una wan run go? The country you’re running to na their citizens stay fight for am.

Stay in Nigeria and fight for your country.

Deprofessional:


This is what most people fail to understand.

yemmie:
@ poster .. Don't abandon your good life at 48 to Australia.
Shuttle between Australia and Lagos
Don't ever sell your house or investment to relocate at this age .. it is like committing suicide

Australia employers pays superannuation 11% per your base income. You can't access that money till you are 65 years, they want to pass a law to move to 70 years.

To live a comfortable life ( not luxury life) in Australia in Perth, you need $5000 monthly to pay mortgage and other bills. A gross salary of $180k Australia is $10,340 monthly.. only 10% of Australia professional working class earn that much.

$ A 200k - $ A 250k gross annual only 5% of professional work force earn that ..above $A250k only 1% of the work force earn that.

Tax bracket change to 45% above $A180k

Median house price for 4 bedroom house is A$650k now to purchase mortgage loan .. you deposit 20% to avoid LMI

So look at your future and think about retirement plans .. your kids have the time but not you

By 50 years of age - Nigerian with dual citizens in Australia / Canada /America should be planning of retirement ...go enjoy life with fresh palm wine, correct ponded yam in mortal -- with your childhood friends back at home in your palace ( a king in your domain) .. otherwise setting up yourself to work like clock forever

Babaelemu:
Omo at 48 with lucrative job you won leave am go start afresh for foreign land... in 12 years time you'll be 60 years as a migrant with that age there's little you can do! You should be working towards retirement and not for employment. He sure for me say when you hit 60 years for abroad niger go dey hungry you na that time you go dey see life from another angle.

Obierika:


I wish you best of luck!

Obierika:


Have you finally made a decision?

Jbmoney:
Its a new world entirely but u are blessed to have a soft landing. Your wife have prepared shelter and with PR and her job ....u are r kind of secured. I guess she must be a nurse cuz they get PR faster.
Forget ur Naija ican/account stuff...wont fly here. U need skill....first bring along ur drivers license cuz u will need it. Easy jobs to get include carer jobs....bro u will be paid handsomely. U need good skills...u can easily join TAFE with ur PR to acquire skills without paying a dime. TAFE is like technical school which enable u to get cert 2,3 etc. Your wife would understand what am talking about. Age is not a barrier here o. Ordinary cleaners live a better life than a bank manager in Nigeria. 1.1m naira is week salary here for most people. U will understand when touch ground.Which city are u coming to? Im inow in Maitland ,Hunter regions. NSW.

wishesbeast:
Forklifts are not easy to manage. You have to take good care of them. If your forklift needs maintainence you should opt for types of forklift. Don't let forklift issues slow down your operations. Contact today for reliable services and maintenance for all types of forklifts. We're dedicated to keeping your business moving!

Firefunmi2014:


I am an FCA like you, I have my firm in Nigeria and still making money from Naija, to be honest with you I have only converted pound to Naira once and all the money have been spending in Nigeria is being made from Nigeria. You can DM , let's talk further.

Acidosis:
As long as your wife can/will feed you without complaints (just in case things do not turn out well for you), then you will be fine.

Your concerns are very valid. Not many 48 year old men would leave a N1.1m accounting job in Nigeria to go kill snakes in Australia as someone suggests here. I won't do it at gun point.

Kenn55:
@op.
First of all, there is no 100% guarantee in life. Not everyone who migrates or don't migrate abroad will be successful. Have this at the back of your mind. Life itself is a risk.

Let me tell you about my own philosophy. I subscribe to the view that the first 30 years of your life is yours. Enjoy every bit of it, you can think about yourself alone, you can be selfish and take decisions that benefit you and you alone. If you want to explore in sambisa, do it, it's all yours

After 30 years of age with kids coming or about to come, your life is no longer yours alone. You should dedicate your life to your next generation, your kids. At this point, your decision in anything you do should be based on first how it benefits your kids or future kids before yourself. If it benefits you but not your kids, I'll say no but if it benefits my kids and not me, I'll say yes. While you were greedy and selfish before 30, this stage requires you to be selfless and be ready to be a sacrificial lamb and allow your family to be greedy. This is my own philosophy that guides me, anyone can have a different philosophy.

This philosophy helped me make decision years ago about migrating. I asked myself, how do I ensure my children are better positioned with more opportunities when they grow up especially in today's uncertain times? After some research, I came to the conclusion that giving them the opportunity to become global citizens will give them more and better options down the road. They won't be restricted to just Nigeria, they will have options in other countries as well. Since I didn't give birth to them abroad, the only option was to relocate. Because I had the money and opportunity to migrate LEGALLY, I took the chance. I wouldn't have done that if there was no legal way to do that even with my desires. I discourage illegal immigration, it is not worth it.


I had no reason to migrate cos I was doing well but I put them first. Before I left, recognizing that there is no guarantee abroad, I had already conditioned my mind that even if I end up not getting what I worth abroad but my children succeed, I'm okay, it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. But at the end, thank God it worked fine for me, i made a career pivot when i got abroad and boom, i became even more successful than i was in Nigeria but I was ready to accept my fate if it didn't work out.

As Canadian citizens, I and my children can decide to come back to Nigeria tomorrow to work or do business, can decide to work or do business in Canada or the US. These are 3 options available to my kids now and I have never been happier.

Note that there are kids or people who have 5 strong passports but are useless so it is not always a guarantee but I believe as a parent, it is my duty to do the best I can to position them in a way they can become more successful and hope it works out at the end.

The decision to migrate is solely based on your view. Look at what you desire most and see how your decision will affect it. Again, there are no guarantees anywhere in this world, we just have to do the best we can to achieve our desires.