goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

yes you will have long life

all private school children now

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

sister I beg u with everything you hold dear, the things above and the things below. dump him immediately that guy w I'll let frustrate you to death. he'll never change. let him who have ears listen.

Khingz:
How do I contact u?

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xtremeTall:
Hello!!,please kindly spare your 1 minutes and advise me because i think ive been following the wrong path for 5 years...

I completed my secondary School Education in 2014 and since then I've been Applying for the Nigeria Armed forces recruitments,i had wrote their Aptitude Test Exams like 8 to 9 times before i eventually passed the Airforce Exams for 2017.

i went for their Physical screening in Kaduna,we undergo staunch health Screening."Thier medical facilities there are Top notch o"..anyway,i was disqualified for ill health reason,(i have a short sightedness),with tears in my eye i inform my Dad who had been very supportive the news.


To cut my story short,i had been doing some work i don't really like since i gave up Career in the Nigeria Armed force.I am determined to go back to the university and study Law,,i know my parents would be glad to know i had came up with this idea but I'm thinking at 23?..IS IT POSSIBLE..i need your advise pls


Mods pls help

why not, I just got admission to study a five year course and I just turned 24

I can show you how to make up to 300k a month..
if your have the necessary items listed about,
leave a message or chat me up on my signature.

I know for a fact that 90% of guys would jump at the opportunity, aftefall we've not been gaining anything since having s! x with ladies