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Yomz1e's Posts

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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Things You Should Remove From Your Resume Immediately by yomz1e(m): 10:05am On Jan 14, 2017
The kind of nonsense you read here sometimes never ceases to amaze me! Good CV have universal accepted formats and ideally should not be more than 2 pages with relevant key points that matches the job you applying for. Tailor your CV to suit the job and pray! meanwhile here are some definitely "Dont's" that should not be on your CV.. these are from real CVs grin grin grin grin

60. KEY SKILLS – “I am very used to working with thigh schedules.”

61. COVERING LETTER – “looking for a party-time position.”

62. KEY SKILLS – “I am quick at typing, about 30 word pers minute, 45 with strong coffee.”

63. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.”

64. KEY SKILLS – “I am a tiger when needed, but otherwise a pussycat.”

65. NUMBER OF DEPENDENTS – “40”

66. REASON FOR LEAVING – “I din’t give the company my full effort and received no chance of carer advancement in return.”

67. COVER LETTER – “I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral and proactive problem solver.”

70. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Responsibilities included recruiting, interviewing and executing final candidates.
71. CURRENT SALARY – “£28,000. Salary desired: £170,000
KEY SKILLS – “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.”
HOBBIES – “Relaxing with family and friends watching action movies”
94. PERSONAL PROFILE – “I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
95. REASON FOR LEAVING – “Responsibility makes me nervous”
96. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Whilst working in the hairdressers I had to deal with a lot of old biddies”
97. SKILLS – “I have a lot of integrity so I promise not to steal office supplies and take them home.”
98. EDUCATION – “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
99. COVER LETTER – Why should you employ me? I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
100. WORK EXPERIENCE – ““Filing, billing, printing and coping.”

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Runtown Had Sex With Nana, Bad Guy Toba's Fiancee [PICS] by yomz1e(m): 9:54am On Jan 14, 2017
this HO's aint loyal! wink
Celebrities / Re: Pretty Mike: I Put Girls On Chain To Empower Women, Toke Makinwa Has Crush On Me by yomz1e(m): 4:37pm On Jan 13, 2017
Illiterate Mike.....simple english, it's Enslavement NOT empowerment olodo!
Crime / Re: How UNIOSUN Student Adebisi Rofiat Was Killed by yomz1e(m): 6:30pm On Jan 12, 2017
i thought the NCAN witch hunt has stopped smiley grin grin grin grin
Romance / Re: Iphone Swag!!! Bride & Her Squad Stun In Unique Outfits by yomz1e(m): 4:51pm On Jan 11, 2017
China made ....N1500 for Dutse market
Celebrities / Re: Olamide: 'I Sold My Soul To The Game Just To Dine With The Devil' by yomz1e(m): 4:48pm On Jan 11, 2017
Marketing gimmick so as to boost sales...ilummanonsence
Romance / Re: How To Identify A Runs Girl - By Joro Olumofin by yomz1e(m): 8:07pm On Jan 09, 2017
lolz . that may be right in your impoverished poverty stricken mind , But i doubt it..

googlepikins:
Linda ikeji ke? She will feed your whole family and local government

1 Like

Romance / Re: How To Identify A Runs Girl - By Joro Olumofin by yomz1e(m): 12:54pm On Jan 09, 2017
Linda Ikeji. lipsrsealed

16 Likes 2 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Nigerians On Twitter Condemn Pretty Mike For Using Dog Chains On Girls by yomz1e(m): 12:52pm On Jan 09, 2017
I don't think the women in the 1st picture had a choice on the chains around their necks

6 Likes

Politics / Re: Soldiers Enjoying Christmas In Sambisa Forest (Photos) by yomz1e(m): 7:51pm On Dec 28, 2016
Well done to the Gallant officers! May your demise not come thru these SOBs BH. men how these guys risk their lives for this country is nothing but pure courage and love. Upon all the cutrs and mismanagement of army funds, they still wake up , carry outdated weapons to fight BH and all the commander in chief and his cronies lavish in ill-gotten gains... walahi i celebrate them. May the lord guard and protect all of them from foreign and national enemies

2 Likes

Celebrities / Re: Photos Of Ada Omolola The Sexiest Nigeria Video Vixen 2016 by yomz1e(m): 5:45pm On Dec 28, 2016
because she's fair skin? OP probably grew up in a village with local chicks! go unilag you see more beauty than venus herself! Badoo self! MTCHEEWW!

3 Likes

Foreign Affairs / Re: Russian Plane Crashes On Its Way To Syria. 9 Journalists, 83 Others Aboard by yomz1e(m): 10:12am On Dec 25, 2016
I think you are the one with wrong info. The war in syria is between Syrian Rebels and Assad. ISiS are long gone from Syria , maybe a splinter cell still causing havoc. However the fact is Assad is using Syrian armies with Russian help to destroy what use to be a beautiful country

Mayflowa:


This is a very wrong perspective of what is going on. Where are you getting your information. In syria, there is a dark army that is terrorizing the world called ISIS. They inspire attack on many soil thousands of kilometers away from them. They enslave their people by setting obnoxious laws, do not follow constituted authority and a very lethal threat to world peace. Wait unril they lay their hands on nuclear weapon!

Condemning whoever is fighting them is just like condemning the Nigeria Government for fighting Book Haram. Only that, it is hard to avoid innocent hostage casualty when you try to do this. In fact, they surround these people around themselves so as to avoid attack while they lead havoc on the world

2 Likes 1 Share

Foreign Affairs / Re: Russian Plane Crashes On Its Way To Syria. 9 Journalists, 83 Others Aboard by yomz1e(m): 10:10am On Dec 25, 2016
These planes ain't loyal

1 Like

Investment / Re: MMM Guiders Donate Hundreds Of Naira In Provisions To Delta Orphans by yomz1e(m): 9:35pm On Dec 22, 2016
monkey business

Investment / Re: MMM Most Likely To Crash This Xmas...... by yomz1e(m): 9:51pm On Dec 19, 2016
Smh!!!!

Webmasters / Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 8:43pm On Dec 15, 2016
who is stupid b/w us two? who lost money ? ole buruku! ala pa ma sise! oya now go an invest more.... the images below are for you..feel free to share with your cronies
Izachk:
u r very useless 4 calling ppl stupid. Idiota

Webmasters / Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 6:27pm On Dec 15, 2016
abi.... wetin concern ceaser when they brought Jesus for judgement ..me too i wash my hands...........anyways sorry for your loss.. but seriously do you think it was morally right what MMM was all about? ask your conscience.. and you go church or mosque asking for divine help and yet you steal from your neighbour.. you dont have to carry a weapon to commit crime.! anyways its None of my Bizness as you said... by the way... people close t me lost big money too

suremossty:
Is it your money? Na those wey no even dey do MMM dey help us use Phensic for our headache. Sey we complain give una. 80% of those participating in MMM knows from the onset that it is a risk. Stop all this Alaroye news joor.... How is ur own success relies on other people's trying time?... let's apply some decorum pls... MMM rocks like cr7...
Celebrities / Re: Denrele Edun On The Red Carpet Of "Ayamma" Movie Premiere by yomz1e(m): 5:49pm On Dec 15, 2016
Haters! please upgrade your neanderthal mindset. Not everybody follows trends!

1 Like

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 5:34pm On Dec 15, 2016
My people died for the lack of knowledge

Webmasters / Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 5:31pm On Dec 15, 2016
I see alot of MMM supporters here still hoping for the 2nd coming of MMM... keep waiting

Culture / Re: Machete Passes Through Man's Stomach, During Cultural Display In Akwa Ibom State by yomz1e(m): 5:11pm On Dec 15, 2016
its the idea that matters not the spelling grin grin grin grin grin
veekid:


Define trend
Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 5:05pm On Dec 15, 2016
Patrick, God don catch you, sebi you know wan borrow me money! you go borrow MMM, oya go collect am back..... thunder fire you! grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:53pm On Dec 15, 2016
Just heard on AL Jazehra that CBN have instructed all banks to refund all customers money linked to MMM tongue tongue tongue tongue news flashed grin grin grin

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:44pm On Dec 15, 2016
the writing was one the wall, when people started loading fake bank tellers, pairing you with 50 people to help with N5000... am going to LIke every comment that takes the pi$$ out off MMM mugus.

5 Likes 1 Share

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:42pm On Dec 15, 2016
I AGREE with you completely, maybe aku626 lost money too grin grin grin grin tongue tongue tongue ntoorrrrr!!!
Unigweson25:
...hahahahahahahaaaaaaataaaaaayaaaaaha... It is our fundamental human right to choose when to laugh, what to laugh at and how to laugh.... Just go and silo tape ur vocal cavity in shame
Nairaland / General / Re: MMM Members Providing Help To The Needy by yomz1e(m): 4:36pm On Dec 15, 2016
Liquid Metal, back in July you were MMM chief campaigner, i hope all the people you dragged into it come and look for your head! angry >: ALL OF YOU THAT LOVED MMM THAN CLEAR CONSCIENCE ..BIG SHAME ON YOU NOW! I HOPE YOU ALL LOST MONEY MORE THAN YOU MADE FROM THIS SCAM(

Liquid2Metal:
MMM is all about changing lives not amassing wealth. Thumbs up guys, together we change the world!
Webmasters / Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 3:59pm On Dec 15, 2016
This is the end of it, even if they reinstate the MMM site, the stupid people who invested in it have lost faith and scared. grin grin grin grin grin grin

2 Likes

Investment / Re: Man Beats Wife To Coma for Investing Children's School Fees In MMM by yomz1e(m): 3:53pm On Dec 15, 2016
I laff in congolese

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 3:30pm On Dec 15, 2016
I remember few months on NL when i advised the dangers of the scheme, some Sob's defended MMM with their lives that it was safe to do..This just shows how Nigerians are dumb, greedy, selfish, non-caring and devilish people that are ready to take money from other Nigerians to enrich themselves. once again to all the bastards that defended MMM on Nairaland.... you will use that money to seek treatment for incurable diseases. https://www.nairaland.com/3324169/mmm-members-providing-needy/3#51957636

hayoakins:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/4611929_mmm_jpeg8b802860e4b7cf49223e902205d7cbb4

Having lost 2,300,000NGN (two million, three hundred thousand naira) to WealthSolution, Real & Cool, PennyWise and the likes in June 2007, not subscribing to MMM was no brainer as it is only a matter of time before the schemers would pull the plug. As much I do not want to subscribe to the school of thought that it has crashed already, it may surely not survive the next 60days as anyone who survives this end of the year shocker (account freeze) would need no prophet to advise him/her to stay clear should he be able to finally receive help come January. In January, the 30days gap would make almost everyone whose account was placed on hold/freeze qualify to get help but who would be ready and willing to GIVE HELP, Me?

Four (4) weeks ago, it became evident that the scheme was heading down south when one subscriber who needed to cash out 470,000NGN was assigned 21 other subscribers to give him help (send him money). This shows that there is increase in the number of people offering to give help of less than 30,000NGN compared to a few months ago when people were placing in as much as 1,000,000NGN. Please note that I do not refer to them as investors as they are not investors rather gamblers.

After interviewing some guiders, captains, subscribers and reading some online articles, I got a better understanding of how the scheme actually works (the matching algorithm and cash out model). A subscriber who is due to cash out (receive help) is assigned one or more other subscriber(s) who is/are due to give help. When the time is right for the schemers to pull the plug, crash the scheme in Nigeria and finally cashout, the same model would be adopted to avoid suspicion however only with some selected number of more greedy and trusted guilders and captains who would be paid a percentage of the amount they are able to pull perhaps the same 30%. I will explain further in the next paragraph.

It is assumed that MMM Nigeria has over 3,000,000 (three million) Nigeria dwellers (citizens and non-citizens) who already enrolled on the MMM platform, I would refer to them as active accounts. All the schemers need to do is to create a syndicate of greedy, trusted and highly secretive captains and guilders of at-least 1,000 out of the 3,000,000 active accounts, whose account would be assigned to other unsuspecting subscribers to give help to. Just like the existing model, no one would notice any foul play as nothing has changed; the process has not been modified in any way only that only a selected number of people (syndicate) are receiving help from others.

Let’s assume that MMM Nigeria is pulling out 250,000,000,000NGN (two hundred and fifty billion naira), each of the 1000 would get 250,000,000NGN, imagine being promised to get 30% of any amount you pull, that is 75,000,000NGN, trust me, an average guilder and captain would sell his/her birthright to get that amount and care-less about the crashing MMM Nigeria or otherwise . The sudden account inflow should raise a flag within the banks’ core system as some of the guys’ account may never have recorded such inflow before. FLAG Number 1. – BANKS to be on ALERT, Anti-money laundering monitor should flag the accounts

Getting the funds out of the country to the chief schemer Mavrodi or his accomplice would be the next stage of execution but this would be a tall order due to the stringent FX policies surrounding inflow and outflow of funds in and out of Nigeria. Money laundering is an option but highly risky and could easily give them away. Another option would be to further integrate the money into the system by transferring between accounts before finally pulling it out of the country.

Illustration A gets 50m deducts his/her 30%, moves the balance of 175,000,000NGN to B, B moves 170m to C, C move 165m to D until 150m gets to F. This would make tracking the funds difficult and easier to escape any money laundering trap within the banking systems. Another reasonable option would be to use FORM M and FORM A. The schemers engage registered foreign corporate entities in different countries to issue supposedly genuine and valid documents (Bill of Entry, Commercial Invoice, Bill of Lading / Airway bill etc.) to enable them access foreign currencies through FORM M and FORM A in disguise for payment for imported goods. The banks could be of immense assistance here as the FORMs would be accessed through the banks. FLAG Number 2. – BANKS to be on ALERT in issuance of FORM M and A

Another option is smuggling the funds through the borders to another country(ies) from where the funds would be transferred to different accounts in different countries to outsmart any forensic investigations – FLAG Number 3 – CUSTOMS to the rescue

Yes, people were warmed but it is not always easy to say NO to this kind of schemes, I also learnt the hard way.
All the best to MMM Nigeria Subscribers, this is the only way I could help with tracking of your funds and possible retriever.

© Ayobami Akinade AAT, ACA, ACCA(affiliate)
Business Strategist and Financial Analyst.

1 Like 1 Share

Investment / Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 3:21pm On Dec 15, 2016
WHERE ARE THE FOOLS THAT WERE SINGING IT'S PRAISES A FEW OF MONTHS AGO, THUNDER FIRE ALL OF YOU!

Religion / Re: "Insult The Prophet TB Joshua & Evoke Curses Upon Yourself" - Fan by yomz1e(m): 2:10pm On Nov 09, 2016
He consulted the same god that couldn't tell hm part of the synagogue will collapse ! angry mofo buruku!

5 Likes

Business / Re: Naira Strengthens Against The Dollar As Bdc Intervention Goes On by yomz1e(m): 10:17am On Oct 14, 2016
GTB you can go screw yaself

Dear Customer,
Review of The International Spending Limit on Your Naira MasterCard
We write to inform you of the monthly spending limits currently applicable when using your GTBank Naira MasterCard for International payments via POS and online.

Please see details below:

Channels
Previous Monthly Limit
New Monthly Limit
POS & Online FROM $250 TO $100

Kindly note that ATM cash withdrawal on your Naira MasterCard is now only available in Nigeria.

I FEEL SORRY FOR STUDENTS ABROAD AND Nigerians living abroad

1 Like

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