bigiyaro:
I don't do religion, am not judging anybody, the thing is, just as Islam is synonymous with suicide bombing, clubbing, smoking, drinking and fonicating, all these also go hand in hand.

my point was and is, we shouldnt point everyone with same brush becoz of general assumption

wide wide nigerians are also known for fraud, but does it mean we can find honest nigerian people around the world and nigeria ?

Oyomesiile:


I no dey talk again.

has dangote stopped selling his products becoz of level of proverty? He is actually building new factories based on projection he sees in those poverty people

Are people stopping going to school becoz their are not jobs ?

syntekelite:


I dont understand..he said he is paying property tax meaning he owns a home there..you are telling him to move to another cheaper city..how is that correlated.. mind you we are both assuming the op is being truthful .. is he going to carry his home with osuka to the other city?? Maybe am missing something here..cos you dont pay property tax on rented homes..

he doesnt own a house, he is newbee in US he crying over property tax, if u read again he said he is paying property tax when he is not owning the house, the guy doesnt understand the western system of property tax

here in UK its called council tax, when youe own the house or not u pay it, what differs only if you are a tenant and the property is registered to renting out, the sitting tenant will pay the council tax in their own name than the landlords, then some landlord the tax would be included on yout rent

if he owns the house, he wouldnt be crying over property tax as his mortagage was higher than that

So this guy is ranting allover property tax and child support

bigiyaro:
you are right, it's the character and behavior of the person that matters, and that is why you will never find oyedepo clubbing. So am telling you that fonicators and drunks often go to the club cos that is the character and behavior of a fonicator/drunk.

and in churches you still thieves, cheaters and those who abort

the problem with most africans, we find clubing as bad black becoz we have never been to a good club and we think every club is the same,

Oyomesiile:


You're freaking funny. Do you know the poverty level in Naija? Not even talking about Africa as a whole now. A lot of self employed are just self employed because there is really no jobs out there that require their skill. Now how do you tax someone that makes again of 40K monthly, more or less, after feeding and transportation has been deducted? Besides, did the government loan them to start up these businesses? Eg Grocery kiosk, hawkers (Water and Sausage), Roadside food vendors etc. I can't really start to mention all these petty petty businesses right now. Some are lucky and make good sales Eg POS terminals and Okada/Keke riders.

level of poverty doesnt deter starting new things that will benefit in the long run

Oyomesiile:


How much do people earn averagely in a month in Nigeria? How many people are gainfully employed? How many dependants does, the working folks have? What's the ideal amount that should be earned monthly and what percentage should be deducted as tax? I feel these should be answered. Mind you most states in Nigeria have one mineral resource or more that they can use for developing their respective states and supporting their citizens.

the most common problem
in african is self employement/informal sector which is not registered for tax and money is lost through that

Eg if local government would build facilities for markets were people pay for the stand in the market, the local council gets paid through renting of place and money would channeled toward maintaining the market place and building new ones

With time it will reduce hips of gabage we find i the streets etc

Weathered:
you don't reflect it

explain ? how should it reflect ?

Weathered:
how old are you?

above 45

babaowambe:
you don't understand,read the post again

i dont need to the guy doesnt know what he talking about

I

micxwell:
Lots of misspelt words.

am not in a english lesson and in an exam

Of all what i said you picked misspelt words, than forcising on the story ?

The thread is not about correct english spelling

micxwell:
Is your screen digitiser bad??

why

worried222:

He claimed that his cousin warned him against coming to the UK but he did not heed the warning meaning that he actually moved to the UK. But he claims to be paying council abi property tax in dollars and living in Chicago.

he is googling he know nothing

1 minute he is talking about someone losing a house over council/property

Abi1985:

Ok you really for real do not know. Well i will disclose my own. I pay up to $3500 annually in property tax . The city where I stay in raise the property tax by 500 $ every year. I know what I am talking about ; you do not have to believe me. This is reality not some read up Google news report. God forbid I fall sick and cannot Pay the property tax. That home is a gone to the city. At least in Nigeria, na you get am.

i never disputed what you pay, my point was and still the same, we all pay council tax/property tax its normal bill in the western world

Like i said ifs its too high for you move to other areas of the city or the city its self

Eg in UK london is expensive when it comes to accomodation and many moved to cheaper cities

Abi1985:


You really don't know Sir. I wish you know how property tax works and how it only favour the rich and how some cities abused tge propertytax system. That is why many just rent but even renting is expensive. An elderly lady lost her home because she couldn't afford to pay her property tax. The cheaper cities are not safe because of shootings. Imagine paying $12000 annually in rent in a bad neighborhood

stop googling things and talk about them as if you have gone through them

1 minute you were talking paying property tax on a house you dont own

the next you are talking of woman loosing a house due to not able to pay property tax

Abi1985:


Ok u Cannot understand until you come here. For Chicago, the average property tax is $3500 annually.

property tax do you mean council tax as we call it in you ?

since you said you dont own the property i assume you mean council tax aka tax from
your local authorities

Well welcome to the 1st world countries, from that tax, the the reason the 1st world countries have well running refuse system, local maintained roads, anything run by council is run with thats money hence the work tax payers money

In africa we cry of our local authorielties not doing enough, but we for get that we dont pay much of council tax, how is the council going to run well when we dont pay

I hear most people who migrated to UK complaining about bills and i wonder how they have been living. There are bill that are mandotory in well run country and council tax is one them

Since its high for you cant you move to cheaper cities

Abi1985:
If you want Japa, please Japa. I am not saying you shouldn't japa.
They can tax so much - eh you want to cry
And sleep. Your own money goes to tax and more tax
You are not really the owner of your property because of tax. Property tax is something else
Child support payment na another thing on its own- if you like woman , please be careful not to have many baby mama e get why
Nigerians back home cannot understand until they come here and experience themselves. I remember when my cousin was warning me about the Uk. I thought he was talking nonsense until I came and experienced reality. Experience is the best teacher
If you are doing well in Naija, please stay and visit. If you are struggling, then please Japa.

you are talking mixed rubbish here, tell us your own story than trying to brush everything with same brush

Property tax ? when you dont own it ?

RealSolution001:
The girl I truly love and want, always form busy busy for me. Although she has a shop that keeps her on duty morning till night, but after closing from the shop, you would have to beg her to come out to see you for once in one or two months before it happens. Even Sundays are no exception.

Meanwhile, this other girl I don't even love was giving me all the vibe including mind-blowing sex but look at it now, she's taken in for me and I am not in support of abortion.

How do I sort this thing out because I still genuinely love the other girl and I want to marry her. She's a good wife material and ticks most of my boxes. I also dont intend to birth children from different women.

No insult please.

i think you really need time to think and not rush

1 the girl you love, you what you said she is showing actions of not on love with you, you are in love by yourself

2 tell us does she live alone? instead of you asking her to visit you why cant you visittl her by her place?

3 the other girl its up to you, the ones you dont really love or the ones you take for pleasure usaully give that good sex and they end falling pregant, now it depends on many factors on how to deal with her
are yout parents traditionalist ? if there are they will likely want you to marry her

are you also a traditionalist ?

are het parents traditionalist ? in the event you accept the baby and not the child

calmandwild101:
Good evening NL,this is my first time posting on nl,so don’t mind my grammar and my typo.
Straight to the point, we are four in numbers in our family,am the second born to my father while am the first born to my mum and the only male child in the family.My immediate younger sister and the last born have been having issues for years now. I was in kaduna during the covid when the last born called me and reported her sister to me that she embarrassed her in front of her fiancé back then.she snubbed him when she took him to her to introduce the guy to her but she gave him attitude and the worst of it all was that she referred her as half sister to the fiancé which the last born got annoyed but kept cool abt it. When I heard abt the whole I faulted her that she shouldn’t refer to her as half sister.since then they have been having loggerheads,sometimes they settled but later on they go on beef which I have talked to both of them but to ni avail. My mum was diagnosed with partial stroke which really need our attention and care,after we took her to hospital for healing but no result,we had no choice than bring her back to my younger sister house after a week we moved her to the last born house because we are not comfortable in her (immediate sister)house with her own family.durring those periods of been with them I talked to both of them to settle their rift because it would affect us all but yet no result.i kept mute for a while abt their issue.Then one day I talked to my immediate sister’s best friend abt her and the last born issue,she had talked to them but my sister is the main problem because she asked her what was the last born offense to her.she couldn’t give any tangible reason the same reason she gave me is the same reason she gave her friend too. She said doesn’t respect her much.shes isn’t friendly to her,(NB: their shops opposite each other and they do and sell almost the same thing and they are both doing well) and the last born claim she greeted her but she won’t answer.to cut the long story.i ordered both of them to settle their rift or else I will not relate with anyone that go against my word.My immediate sister go against my word when her sister still greeted her but she snubbed her. When she chatted me concerning Mum’s health I asked her had she settle the rift with her kid sister, she responded in a rude way and I cautioned her to watch her words since then she ignored me totally.she doesn’t reply my chat,my calls not even birthday wishes.what do you guys think I can do. Sorry for my long write up and don’t mind typo as well.

the root of the problem is culture, we love to be respected very much but without showing respcet to each other no matter how young or old

its a vicious cycle, younger gets bullied, dismissed or disrespectef when you are young/ younger and cant wait when there older or some younger than them comes along. The same bullying that was done to you, you carry it on the young ones

Lets not treat each based on who is older, just teach each other equally, if i see my younger brother first let me be the one who greet 1st

1 it teaches the young ones that elders can teach by example

2 the younger fells respected and noticed, it helps how they relate to you in the long run

3 it teaches the young one that respect is both ways

A good example, you are general
hand worker in a big company and the general manager greats you buy your name, it boost your confidence at work why because the greeting is a feedback to say the manager doesnt take you like thing but a human being he knows your name not becoz of the job he but he sees you as a human 1st and a his worker 2nd

Back to the story, your sister must try to see each other as sisters without saying this one is older etc let respect start from seeing each other as sisters

but its tricky becoz you said one was introduced as half sister meaning, your father has two wives or children with different wives

there is 100% chance of one the attitude from
the sisters is due to the influence of the mum due to the father having another woman

Wawelexy:
She will go without you whenever you not around to go with her, maybe due to work or any other more important things.... They will bang the hell out of her kitten before you come back... Club life ain't for married couples....

its the character and behaviour of the person that matters

So are you saying all the men who go clubbing are cheating?

IkeIgboNile:
This is the first topic i have created since i joined this forum.
For a while now, my mind has been restless, i haven't spoken to my father since i left his house on January 5 2023. We had an argument and i left some days later. I wasn't angry when i left, i just wanted to give him space and find my own way as a man. Though I'm his first born son and his exact replica but we are so different and share very different views.
Some days ago, i called him and was very angry at me and ended the call before i could say anything and he has refused to pick up my calls since then.
I really don't understand why he's angry at me or why he's not taking my calls but i have decided to stop calling him and let him be.

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

Well you havent said anything

you told us u had an arguement, what was it about ?

it will helps us to understand your point view on the argument and some applies for your fathers point of view, then we might pick up who was wrong and right

or total different point of view from both of you

we will be also able to understand your anger

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

From that alone this story is make up one life those fake love emails finding victims in the western world

exprienced doctors know that fertility test can be very positive and still you wont be able to have kids

coputa:
If it's character and behavior that holds or break marriages,does some characters and behaviors not tied to every ethnic groups in Nigeria,be it negative or positive.

yes some character and behaviour are tied to every ethnic groups as they share commons norms

usually an outsider is able to see negatives much easier, becoz s/he is not bound by boundaries of the group is looking at

Then positives yes can be seen by both those practising and those watching from outside

Puss360:
The level of exposure matters a lot to intending couples and their parents....
Both forms of marriage has their pros and cons ....
But know this that, what makes or breaks a relationship/marriage is BIGGER THAN TRIBE, CULTURE AND/TRADITION.... INSTEAD IT IS CHARACTER AND BEHAVIOUR....
If you like marry your village head, or the best in another village, if the person has a bad character, the whole marriage will scatter....

you nailed it

character and behaviour is what makes the difference

coputa:
Correct, but conflicts in marriages involving people of same tribe and culture are easily resolved.

are you saying there problems specific for different tribes ? naturally no the rest is just beliefs or accepted norms within people who share those norms

if take away those beliefs or norms, you still have problems and they can be solved or be there regardless of your tribe eg money problems, drinking problem, a lair, being childless, who to solve or manage those you needs a character and behaviour to solve such issues

mostly its tribal ot cultural things which usually makes us fail in life, eg u cant question elders u blindly follow, u are not allowed to go against what is set as standards etc

viyon02:
Africa still have the best marriage system, in the world, and the white are envious of this, so they try to sell to us devilish ideas, in order to destroy our traditional view of marriage, they brought feminism, sodomy etc.

what do you mean by best marriage system ?

In western world marriage is registered hence they have figures

In african most countries have 2 system of officially registered and unofficial registered marriages

depending more traditional is the population you would find most marriages being traditional and not offical divorce rates on those marriages

Dogalmighty17:
You see the list above?
Let's engage our brains now. The countries with higher divorce rates, have longer life expectancies. Those with lower divorce rates have shorter life expectancies.

Nigeria really isn't on the list above probably because we keep nebulous records. But whatever official records exist, if tabulated will still put Nigeria among countries with low divorce rates.

Now guess what Nigeria's life expectancy is. We were at 56 years the last time I checked. That was before Buhari Tsunami.

Marriage can make a man live longer. But nothing cuts short a man's life like being married to the wrong woman.

May God help us with our choices in spouse. And for those of us already married but with troubled homes, if divorce is out of the picture, may we find the grace to keep working on our marriages. It is not easy I tell you.

Good analyses,

twang414:
been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more. We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.
To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt. So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off. I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

you are deep trouble, especially after moving here to UK, UK or western world gives women confidence, i.e there are jobs equally for both women and men, usually men from africa we get stuck looking for the type of jobs that we used to do back home while women grab every opportunity to learn knew skills and confidently raise up financially and thinking etc

Eventually men end up saying, the western world has no many rights for women etc but the main two issues are finance and laws, women being financially independent therefore man not able to control women with money, laws, here you abide by the law, you hit your woman you face jail, back home you go to report your hubby to the police the police becames a marriage councilar, here she responds, you are put in cells it goes to court u get fined or jail and it doesnt end their it will also affect the type of jobs u might get and ven the renewal of your visa

My advise to you get to know people who have been here for long ask them how to keep your head down avoiding to be a victim of laws of the land being used against you. Otherwise it will you in jail while she is enjoying her life

Am not saying the wife is rigjt but she might be also be being mislead by her friends or her just not being able to control self in the new world

Yes trust issues can be addressed but i think you need a 3rd party who is able to make you see both your trust issues from back home and make you see how it will damage your marriage while you are here,

ahnie:

Valid points you raised.

Most men dont realise that not allowing your wife to work you are disabling her from looking after the kids in the event you die

Hence you hear most woman whos husband die say they suffered looking after the children its because its hard to start working after so many years of being a housewife

IntelligentGoat:
Greetings to all nairalanders
A quick one.
Is it wrong for a husband to live in his wife community while she works there?
I have a property in her community before getting married to her and she is the only heir to her parents. And I lost my both parents since 2006 before marriage. The community is rapidly developing and have every other ethnicity as land and property owners which I'm prevelage to be a property owner here too.
Her parents are caring and supportive too to us.
Is it safe to raise my children here or I should move out completely to avoid future stories that touches.
I need your sincere and honest advise on this matter.
No insult please.

it is always wise for both wife and hubby to move away from each individual home steady

1 its avoids spying or monitoring from parents and relatives around == to freedom to shape your own marriage with parents and relative jumping in or monitoring

2 a new place gives you freedom know will judge you or expect you to act or behave in certian way because you are all new they will accept your way of life

ahnie:
I m always an advocate for hard working women,it thrills me seeing women that are hard working making their legit money in their various careers, businesses and skills without depending on their partners.

My admiration goes mostly to wives making legit money to cater for the home fronts,standing as pillars,no shakes in carrying the family along without depending on their other significant halves.

Do you know that making your own money gives you an edge,it gives you confidence that any height is attainable.

The beautiful thing is that...making legit money and investing it wisely is sexy.it saves you from unnecessary fuvks, unnecessary swollen eyes, unnecessary see finish, unnecessary insults.
From unsavory breakfasts

The single hard working ladies are not left out,may God bless your endeavors.


It's makes you definitely not to give fuvks.


So men,what's your takes on a woman that is legitimately making her money?

Pls let's not derail or make this thread a gender war.

Cc
Nlfpmod
Dominique
Lalasticlala

you know that if you are to die before her the kids wont suffer much as she knows to put food on the table

praise her for her hard working and treat and reward her

scally11:

Do u know that during winter even when u put on the heater immediately u off it the cold go come. Can you put in heater 24/7. Do u know how expensive gas is now. U need to see how happy oyinbos are to see small sun coming out. They will sit under the sun to warm their body while does who are not strong usually travel to the Caribbean or tropic area during winter.

i live in scotland glasgow i dont get told about how cold is scotland

The heating works thermostat set it to room temperature

scally11:

U see most people no know say experience na the best teacher. When we mention cold some go think say na AC cold. I have a friend that I told that Scotland is very cold, he was making mouth that he used to sleep naked for AC. The day he got here it was even in the Autumn na so he dey shout say I beg I no fit stay here. For winter he dey wear winter jacket inside house. Nigerian sabi talk say get used to it. Oyinbo way dey born here self no get used to it na me way come from naija go get used to it

you only wear winter jacket in the house, if you have no money for heating or trying to minimise your heating bill

all the house have heating system