moadxist2: Patience is a virtue, and the Bible says "honour thy father and thy mother, that your days might be long on earth". You can't bless her, she can bless you. You choose...
point of correction honouring your father and mother doesnt give you blessings, what it simply means if you can not honour people who raised you it will be hard to honour a stranger, a stranger who can be a blessing by eg giving you ideas to makes money etc (thats the blessing its self )
Obavoh: My wife’s elder sister’s kids came to spend the holiday at my house.
The 2 boys are 9 and 7 years old. All they do all day is eat, play and watch tv.
I hate idleness so I suggested to my wife that we should send them to hawk fruits. We have a lot of fruit trees in my compound which are wasting away on the trees.
My wife refused and said they are too small. I told her I began hawking for my mum when I clocked 6 years and I expect my children to do the same. This caused a big quarrel between us.
My village is safe, the boys even go as far as the next village to play ball so I don’t know what is bad if they use their playing time to trade.
Hawking made me the smart, hardworking and responsible man I am today. All my life I have never begged or borrowed. I believe as long as one is not disabled or sick, you can easily make money. I want to teach my children this but my wife thinks differently.
You were made to hawk most likely becoz of poverty
let me ask its ok for your daughter to sell her body at 20 becox her mum was doing the same at 20 ?
lets kids be kids, the ones we see on street its becoz of poverty and that shouldnt be normal
Fineman2: My name is John. I am 35 years old. I lost my first wife in 2020, so I remarried in 2021 so that my daughter can grow up with a motherly love.
However, my new wife has made it a point of duty to always maltreat my daughter.
Each time, I want to interfere, she tells me to stay out of it. I know I should stand up for my daughter but I am in love with this woman because she came into my life when I needed someone the most.
I reached out to the family of my late wife last month to allow my daughter to stay with them while I send money for her upkeep, but they refused. They said my daughter cannot grow up without a mother and still grow up without the presence of a father in her life.
I have had several conversations with my wife and I have begged her to accommodate my daughter since she is yet to conceive but she told me to get rid of her from the house.
She practically complains about everything my daughter does. I am unhappy about this but at the moment, I am caught in between the woman I love and my beloved daughter.
Please what should I do?
there very critical information missing
how old is yo new wife and how old is yo daughter
their age and mental state of mind play an important role how they interact
Sunshinehappy: My mom and my sister are always at loggerhead and it is making me sick. The house has become unbearable for me. My sister is always complaining about our mom, using all sorts of words on her and my mom on the other hand is always crying and being sad. I can’t remember the last time that I saw my sister smiling or happy. She doesn’t smile or show happiness and if someone else smiles or shows happiness, she doesn’t join in.
I have spoken to my sister severally about the way she talks to our mother, I told her to talk to her with respect and be careful what she says to mom but it still hasn’t changed anything. I spoke with mom to just obey her and not cry but still the two of them continue. I’ve tried talking to them privately but still nothing. My sister says that my mom likes taking the little we have to help people who turn out being ungrateful to us, she also accuses my mom of being the kind of person who gives to other people while neglecting herself. She says our mother is always looking for other people’s problems to solve when we ourselves are still managing and we have no help from other people. When my sister is talking and my mom jokingly responds, my sister stops talking and cuts her off or sometimes with her a hears responds or sometimes just suddenly shut down and walk away. I feel sorry for my mo. I pray for peace and love in our home all the time.
What do you think I should do now?
its simple, pick up negatives thats are damaging to each other and present to them while you are heading the meeting, they way they might recognise things that they do and affect or annoye the other
If u use where ur behavior comes from as an excuse, then others could do that and escape accountability as a result We’re still back at the same problem
Fix yourself up if you’re shitty Pointing fingers is an easy thing for everyone
again i never said the behavour as an excuse, am only pointing at why are people behaving that way
And i fail to see why you cant understand my point, every behaviour is caused by something, whether one uses it an an excuse or not but the behaviour reflect on people reaction to something
If you’re a girl, then that’s the problem with u guys U guys can’t always calm down to listen to points, u always think you’re right then when the consequences come u play victims
Which one is product of environment, why do y’all always look for excuses, why not take accountability that u have a shitty attitude and work on it
Lol u just proving my point with ur comment, it’s obvious u will practice hypergamy the way ure talking, lol out of my league, don’t worry once u become hyper successful u can go for more powerful men, that’s what most women do, then when you see the consequences later, don’t come to cry victim
am not using product of environment as an excuse, but understanding were the behaviour comes from
Yes! I'm a boy with a kid,I know you are still a novice sha in marriage.
Because a man sleeps with you makes you think you are equal?
Abraham sleeps with Sarah and Sarah still regards him has her Lord,check in the Bible the same respect woman gives to their dad is the same respect they gave to their husband
You advise your dad,didn't you? How did you pass the information? You correct him ,didn't you? How did you correct him?
This are small thing that leads to divorce,the same way you relate with your dad with love and respect is the same way you relate with your husband
In my language they even call husband 'Olowo ori mi' meaning the man that pays the price they put on my head.this is what makes a manyo be man
what makes you think everyone lives by bible stories ? i dont give me an example of your own life not a story
Westerhoffe: Wickedness of men. Not so many people are lucky to have sane families back in the country once they fly out in search of greener pastures.
If not mothers/fathers betraying their son(s)/daughter(s), it would be vice versa, or an uncle or auntie or vice versa anyhow whatever whatever the heck of a whatever the shit they're doing with the hustlers' money sent home for life's labour upgrade.
That's how one silly woman was spending all her son's money sent home to mumu mummy to help him build a house before he returns, on her own boyfriend.
Boyfriend moved in with mumu mama and lavished hustling son's money while repaying her with waist dance.
Son came home unannounced after some years, only to faint after knowing there is no square foot of land for him not to talk of house.
Mumu mama has been sending her hustling son pictures of someone else's house.
Well, at the end, matured idiots gathered to beg the son to forgive his mother and start all over.
a simple equation i have learnt, never trust a person with money or value of money that they never held or had in their life
Thats the main reason why our relatives fail, they cut corners or steal from you, the money is overwhalming to them
That the reason we have different levels of investmate house/banks their limited by how much their allowed to handle as per their license, it minimise risk on small inexprience companies talking huge investments and gamble with it
Unless you have exprience in building your own then i can trust you, the rest we trust by default of being a brother sister etc
But it doesnt mean there are no trustworth relatives, there are lots
ETTTTUBRUTTE: That is why it is extraordinarily important for you, as a man, to do your thorough checks, before you marry a woman.
Any women who becomes arrogant or proud because of an increase in her material wealth is naturally a proud and an arrogant person. The arrogance and pride has always been in the bone marrow of the woman. It was just laying dormant waiting to be activated.
But some women, who have had grace and humility, entrenched in their bone marrow, by their parents or guardians, will never ever become arrogant, irrespective of their newly acquired wealth status.
There are so many examples of very wealthy women in our society who are also very modest despite their staggering wealth.
Just do your Home Work / Due Diligence before you get married. Period. Good Luck.
but do realise also that some men rush to call a woman arrogant simple becoz she refuse to lower her standards
eg a keke driver, might see a bank teller being an arrogant woman, she knows her selfworth as bank teller and she wouldnt want a keke driver
Are they not asking their father questions? How did they ask their father?
Until you understand that the moment a man pats for your pride price he has almost equal right as your dad, the way you treat your dad treat him that way
you talk like a boy
asking questions to your father is totally different from asking someone u sleep with, have kids with, tend to get old with
Most african cultures we are programmed by both society and culture not ask right to our parents, eg questiions that tend to expose that your parent has no knowledge or lacks critical thinking
Your forbidden from embrassing them
Whereas with hubby you are meant to be asking but it comes back to that culture of not embrassing its carried over to hubby, where other hubbys dont allow women to say their own thinking, which might embrass hubby but in true fact he should embrace that wife has sharp mind too
Persephone1: Men aren't afraid of successful women perse most men can't relate with successful women because they come with lots of compromise men can't afford. The traditional man wants a woman who will always be available, who won't question his opinions and decisions ( right or wrong) a woman who will cook, do house chores, be a "yes sir" etc. A successful woman may not be able to meet up with all these.
For most Nigerian men money is their bargaining chip in a relationship, there ability to provide a woman's need give them surge of control, relevance and power. Dealing with a woman who can't take care of herself can be very difficult for a man who is yet to realize that his existence is more than ability to provide.
Successful women demands more, for the everyday woman, her wants in a man may be limited to "being taken care of" but for a successful woman she will demand more varying from accountability to loyalty to having a say in decisions, sharing responsibilities etc. Her demands are higher and sometimes impossible to meet for average men.
Of course, some successful women can be proud, unruly and difficult to relate with but trust me, all these stem from "see finish" i.e what can the man offer but truth is when they finally meet the right one, they submit.
you nailed it
The same reason you end seeing those women if married cheating on their husbands, especially with people she works with. Like you said she relates with them due to subjects of work and they can back and forth talking without putting gender or respect etc
They cheat becoz they dont relate in most basic conversations, the man with his insecurities very move or talk he wants to be known as the head of the house
to understand relateness, dating a girl who is exposed to cars by her family, she know that a car needs fuel service etc. A girl from poor family wants you to drive her allover town without either putting fuel or gesture of appreciation by buying luanch for the driving around
When you say my car in service and i cant pick you up, she will think you dont to pick her for no reason
I don't. Situations like this are common in the US/UK.
If the step dad tries to reprimand or discipline them, they tell him he's not their dad. But when he wants to provide for them, they don't say that.
then why not use that as discpline measure, you dont listen to me you dont get what u want
in most cases i have seen, its the missing parent that mess up how the step parent is able to displine the child
eg the child is under displinary period eg they wont by him or her a gadget untill grades at school improves, the missing parent will buy in trying to look better than the other people involved and this complicates things
akpunda86: Is it possible getting a second wife that treats my first kids as her own,I'm scared. Im opening a trust fund for my kids plus the rent from the house can take kia of the school fees incase of Demise. My lovely wife just strayed ,changed till my family supported me to divorce her.
I just planted enuff cameras 2 watch my kids as my new nanny takes over but still ponder how can a mother abadon her kids for a federal govt job offer dat looks like scam
yes their step mothers/fathers who can
but why take away the children from their mother if the mother is still capable of looking after them ?
JeffreyJunior: Your point is valid but remember they are not fools too.
They knew exactly what they were doing and must have sought the advice of someone somewhere.
What if he legally signed away his football paychecks long before getting married because of one medical reason and all subsequent acquisitions made by the mum in the name of the mum.
Their family doctor could've claimed he is incapable of handling his own income and term it one psychological illness and have power of attorney granted to his mum long before he got married.
Forget talk, something or someone dey give them morale and that person knows the law of their land well.
you are watching to much american drama series there is no medical reason that can exclude your wife from your wealth, either way she wife would be given what is worth the years there were married
I want to assume that we all have heard the story of Hakimi the man who played wise with his wife that was seeking divorce. While I don't want to bore you with unnecessary recap of the whole story, I will however try to tell you who I believe is the true hero of the story. From the opinions I have read online, some people see Hakimi as the hero, some see his mother as the hero while there is a small group of people that believe his wife is the real hero of this story. I believe the real hero of this story is Hakimi's father who is not even mentioned in the whole story. I have heard different perspective of this story but I am yet to see one that includes Hakimi's father. I don't know if he is dead, alive, responsible or irresponsible whatever he is does not stop him from being the HERO. Here is my point, every mother is also someone's wife which makes Hakimi's mother someone's wife too. What if Hakimi's mom is a gold digger like you all label Hakimi's wife? Have you heard the story of Jackie Coogan a young actor who lost all his fortune to his mother? The boy discovered when he was 21 years that all the money he made as a young actor was gone, courtsey of his mother. While we all give Kudos to Hakimi's Mother let us give Kudos to Hakimi's father who didn't marry someone that will squander Hakimi's fortune. Hakimi had a choice of partner but he had no choice of mother. Small advice: Choosing someone to marry is not a decision for yourself alone, it is also a decision for your unborn children who unfortunately have no say on who their father or mother will be. Am I making sense at all?
This case most people are jumping the gun
whatever was put into mother's name during their marriage, can be legally challenged, by law its seen as hiding your wealthy. 2 things will play here 1 the laws of the country they got married if the divorce would be settled in that country 2 qood lawyer
let give you an example, a Jordan Princess got married in Jordan to Sheikh Mohammed (The ruler of Dubai ) key thing married in Jordan
For me, I'd say his wife. My reasons; 1. His wife takes care of his children. 2. He grows old with his wife. 3. His mum might die before him. 4. His wife is always there by him.
Lalasticlala seun nlfpmod
most africans dont understand the meaning of next of kin most people think it means the person to inherit your estate
The true meaning is the person to be contacted in the event of your death or the person in charge of dealing with your estate aka sorting things out, it has nothing to do with you having appointed to inherit
Usually this can be a blood relative or if married usually your surviving partner
i think there is less chance a wife cheating to have a first child while in marriage, than simply marrying her becoz she is pregnant, what if its not yours, her movements are hard to trace whereas the wife's are more easier
though am not saying wife cant do it, she can but not common on the 1st 2nd year of marriage
Spiritualsdeeps: Yeah.. Not under Compulsion... U are Right.... But Honestly Speaking.. If we look at this deepest. It's Looks Weird to give a man a Child that belongs to another Man... Only a Criminal would do this intensionally. To take care of yourself alone is lots of money, not to talk of a child, children.. How about the painful discovery that the Child is not yours, a child you have been looking into his future as Promising.. One Man will just come from no where and say Oga.. I'm here for my Child.. What do u think?
am not defending the act, but lets reason here being given the child that is not your mean you also admit that you were sleeping with her right so if she wase seeing two people and the same time and sleeping with them too she wouldnt know who is the father, women usually choose the father based either the wealth (based on her personal opinio) they have at present time or the potential future he has
Some women dont care about he is not the father but the future they see in him
dont rush to marry becoz she is pregnant there is a higher chance its not your
BadMus06: I've been seeing and hearing different stories about anyone that's in a position to assist other family members neglect them.
Sometimes these people are not to be blamed as you might not hear their part of the story. They may be some underlying issues or redflags that such a person sees before deciding to disassociate his/herself from such family.
What can make you cut ties with your family members as the topic depicts.
there is no clear answer but let me break it down
Our mothers and fathers are the 1st people we trust from birth, especially the mothers they spend more time with us in out informative years to break that trust and bond it takes alot of things to happen and most important how mature you became to understand that you might manupulate you.
Most people dont even see that there are being used or manipulated becoz how society with its culture and tradition raise you, sometimes it is when you are pused to the corner that you realise that u are being abused etc and u cut the cord
So most people will fail to understand that the way you are raised and how family members relate applied to your family, family dynamic are different
Mumu,if you had only said try to forgive and move on I would have agreed.And if you had read what I wrote I said I have forgiven but will never forget.
Adding craps like your father owns everything you have because he brought you to life is very stupid and immature.
Tell that to a girl that her own father raped her or abused her ode.
Una go just open mouth waaa!!!
wanted to ask the same, simply becoz by virtue that he is your father he owns everything of you, being a father is choice and doesnt mean he own anything that a he has, it only applies if he dies without children or wife
children are born out two people making a choice to sleep with each other mostly out of love not a property that creates its worth and own it too
I don't get why my wife is jealous of my childhood friend I've l known all my life .
if thats the case there is a step you jumped during yo dating days with your wife, you should have introduced her that time and your wife would have gain trust of your friendship
sukkot: whats the argument ? That it's the parents fault that the children become alien to them ? You are very correct. 100 percent. They work too much. Chase money endlessly at the expense of creating a bond with their growing children . That's why most of these children become strangers at home and monsters on the street especially in London this is an epidemic
no arguement i was just responding to the blaiming culutre instead of looking into yourself as parent
sukkot: its very true. There are more damaging factors to consider. Like you rightly said the doctrines taught to kids. All that LGBT stuff. By the time they are done polluting your kids minds the kids don't even belong to you anymore. It's like a monster living in your house looking at you like you are some archaic stone age weirdo lmaoooooo
the problem is not the system but the parents, let me break it down
1 parents spend more time working than having social time with thier children hence friends and social media will raise their children
2 parents are proud of their kids sounding more british/american than keeping the balance
3 LBBT is taught in class as an awareness that people are different but its not forced on families,
4 africans we play catch up and we pick white low income families as role models not realising that these are the worst of the white people, in simple terms is when we move abroad, the 1st few years we live in poor areas and we adopt what is their and we assume thats what all whites do etc which is not
3xwellbeing: Lol, whether masturbation is a sin or not, It has a lot of subtle effects on you, especially when you become addicted (If you know how addictive it is, you will run from it), it leaves subconscious programs on your mind, such that you gradually lose control and act compulsively when triggered. It drains mental energies and affects your actual sexual performance.
When supplemented with porn, it becomes extremely detrimental to mental well-being, productivity and others. It creates certain neurological pathways in the brain and messes up your dopamine system.
Say No to masturbation Say No to Porn
Even if you must masturbate, let it be rare. Avoid PORN, avoid sexual fantasies. Don't be an addict.
God created Man and Woman, and even the institution of marriage to satisfy their sexual needs, Not to masturbate or watch porn, fill your brain with fantasies and like a zombie.
you are right in your view
but lets stick to the question asked, is it a sin to masturbate with your wise our a phone ?
Lets look it from this point, is ok to talk about sex with your wife over the phone ? the most answer is Yes so what different does it make when you masturbate with your wife ?
Remember the main reason masturbation is a sin is simply because you would be thinking of someone who is not your wife hence its a sin to sexually admire someone
In this case he is touching himeself live on video with his wife is that sin --- i choose not to use the word masturbating because its his wife
The 'bolded' didn't confirm the wrong information you dished out there.
The doctors were never recruited by the British government as you wrongly wrote, but by a private hospital that is not under the NHS.
They were never paid lower than their British counterparts.
Their complaints were only about their long working hours as a result of poor staffing, a phenomenon that is also common in other private hospitals in many other countries.
you are missing one big picture
foreign doctors take time to raise up the ladder, unless one is renowed specialis, the rest have to go through various test and exams most fails because 1 new environment which is very strict 2 most lack common courtsey
A UK trained doctor has easy reference to follow and pict up any misconduct, a foreign doctor has to start from minimum going up building that UK experience and reference etc
Family / Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:41pm On Apr 30, 2023 
