Nairalanders,

Please don't crucify me yet, just advise me please. Had to utilize a new moniker for this.

I got married last year June and by February 2024, I was transferred to another state for work. I was bored in the city and probably made a mistake. The girl stays in same hotel, and works for a bank, also on a course. So we started talking and one thing led to another. This girl had her phone on audio record the two times we got down and recorded all the audio of the shit we did.

My wife came visiting and of course I defined boundaries the moment wifey was around. A few days back I got high and dozed off, my wife got into my phone saw our chats. Her last chat to me, was regarding the audio. My wife followed through the convo and she sent two 24 minute audios.

Before I could wake, Wifey was already gone from the hotel. And when I checked my phone I saw a long epistle and screen shots of what happened. Now she has called my entire family, friends everybody I know. I am so ashamed of myself.

Is there anything I can do to have her back.
Can she ever forgive me.

I feel so bad having betrayed her.

She called your family, friends, colleagues... you'll never be able to win back the trust you lost. Even if you do, it won't be at the same level.

One very big issue staring you in the face is the long distance relationship you're having with your lawfully wedded wife. Either quit the job and find one closer to home, or arrange for your wife to live with you in the new location permanently, or for as long as the job requires.

Newlywed couple, y'all need to be spending as much time together as possible.

If your wife was around, you wouldn't have fallen into that trap. Make the move and make arrangements to always be together with your wife, show her your actions and she'll see you're serious about avoiding future temptations.

It won't be easy, but it's a first step.

If you're going to step out on your wife, at least do it with someone decent. I'm not condoning adultery, but nigga, if you missed the red flags in this your new side piece, then juggling multiple women is not for you because they'll probably both connive to kill you. You're better off remaining faithful to the Mrs.

"You got high"... Lol. Bro, is this the example you want to set for your kids? I don't know what got you high but as you can see, it probably doesn't have good effects, so maybe you should FVCKING GET RID OF THAT? I dunno.

You'll need to do a lot of begging. And the people who could have helped you might already be disappointed, so you may have to do most of the shii on your own. If you want her back, be ready to crawl.

There'll probably be lots of gifts, long talks, missed calls, and spending involved

Oh, and if she decides to revenge by cheating on you (who knows maybe you missed that red flag in your wife too), then don't complain because you set the ball rolling yourself.

Look for a male figure in her life she respects (pastor or something) and get them to set a meeting where you both talk.

If you want more couple's therapy, hmu.

If, against all odds, you're able to fix this, then keep your pants zipped, keep constant communication with your wife regardless of distance (you should make time to have at least thirty minutes to an hour of flirty, dirty conversation with your wife every day if you're separated by distance. This should keep the sexual spark in your marriage going), take steps to rid your mindset of cheating, and set up time to go for therapy with her to rebuild that trust you just casually threw away.

Jaycobbs:
She called your family, friends, colleagues... you'll never be able to win back the trust you lost. Even if you do, it won't be at the same level.

One very big issue staring you in the face is the long distance relationship you're having with your lawfully wedded wife. Either quit the job and find one closer to home, or arrange for your wife to live with you in the new location permanently, or for as long as the job requires.

Newlywed couple, y'all need to be spending as much time together as possible.

If your wife was around, you wouldn't have fallen into that trap. Make the move and make arrangements to always be together with your wife, show her your actions and she'll see you're serious about avoiding future temptations.

It won't be easy, but it's a first step.

If you're going to step out on your wife, at least do it with someone decent. I'm not condoning adultery, but nigga, if you missed the red flags in this your new side piece, then juggling multiple women is not for you because they'll probably both connive to kill you. You're better off remaining faithful to the Mrs.

"You got high"... Lol. Bro, is this the example you want to set for your kids? I don't know what got you high but as you can see, it probably doesn't have good effects, so maybe you should FVCKING GET RID OF THAT? I dunno.

You'll need to do a lot of begging. And the people who could have helped you might already be disappointed, so you may have to do most of the shii on your own. If you want her back, be ready to crawl.

There'll probably be lots of gifts, long talks, missed calls, and spending involved

Oh, and if she decides to revenge by cheating on you (who knows maybe you missed that red flag in your wife too), then don't complain because you set the ball rolling yourself.

Look for a male figure in her life she respects (pastor or something) and get them to set a meeting where you both talk.

If you want more couple's therapy, hmu.

If, against all odds, you're able to fix this, then keep your pants zipped, keep constant communication with your wife regardless of distance (you should make time to have at least thirty minutes to an hour of flirty, dirty conversation with your wife every day if you're separated by distance. This should keep the sexual spark in your marriage going), take steps to rid your mindset of cheating, and set up time to go for therapy with her to rebuild that trust you just casually threw away.

I must thank you for this.
Thanks for the care and time.
Lessons abound in your response and I am grateful.

I will keep you updated.

Yikes 😬

Crying like you're not the bread winner of the house. Instead of getting your shìt together. Are you not a man?

All these Genz kids jumping into marriage. Can't even cheat successfully

That's your problem. You were too comfortable

Lol he's apologizing because he got caught

I don't understand what the problem is? Did you send her to go through your phone? My rule is anytime you go through my phone, whatever you see take it like that. Ask me nothing cos I owe you nothing.

If she wants to go let her go. Don't beg her. Na cheat you cheat you no kill person.

For someone that cheats and still not have a phone password that ur partner doesn't know it means u 're careless,women 're smarter in the cheating game

As for if ur wife can forgive u it depends on the kind of person she is nd the level of love she has towards u,there 're different deal breaker for different women so if cheating is a deal breaker for her ur marriage will be hanging on a thread at best.

Hopefully cheating is a deal breaker for your wife so that she will leave your sorry aśs, your marriage is not up to a year yet you're already inviting stds to infect her, iranu.

Pls don't listen any advice 4rm madam Jennyclay

In summary of this all is that
marriage is over hyped in this country.

Hmm

The wages of seen is dead by stoning

Na only God fit save you.

Nothing like u were bored in a different city.. only a year of marriage and u Don dey misbehave. I hate cheats with all my heart.. if u caught your wife in same act and read the chats and hear the voice records of your wife moaning to another man. Will u forgive her? Sometimes let's put ourselves in our partners shoes or better still imagine it's u that caught your wife. Will u pardon her?
Better go and marry that babe that was moaning for u in the voice record. Ashewo

Simply marry another wife.
Simp

How Arsenal go take win d league is our priority

Biglittlelois:
Lol

what's funny?

DrAkpamudehe:
Simply marry another wife.
Simp

no mind am

I no understand u op. While I don't condone cheating, if u really respect ur marriage u should be very deliberate about who u cheat with. Some of these hoes are sent out to destroy homes. A lot of these babes out dare are on revenge mission. I blame u for this. What happens to the street code of leaving no paper trails. U bleeped a random babe and u know ur wife was coming why can't u clear ur history. Most of u guys are the one making it look as if it is guys that cheat the most when it is the other way around. A girl will staff various guys under ur nose without u even knowing cos they know how to clear thier cache. Considering ur marriage is really new is the more reason why I feel like punching u in the face before giving u any advise.

Anything that has to do with long distance relationship, I'm out.

Stupid storiees for engagement

Another made up story.I'm outta here

How can you still love someone you cheated on move on better if you guys don't have kids yet. Saving which marriage ke?

Listen to the song " cheaters prayer" by Tarrus Riley and get sense. No advise to waste

Lol be like say today na days of things that never happened on NL....