Before Peter, before Ahmed and before General, there was Yar'Adua. That was why when I looked left, looked right and there was no other strategy to leave home and focus more on my personal goals, I picked up my phone and texted my boss one evening detailing the need for him to let me off the hook so that I could take sometime out to rearrange my life, better understand life from another perspective and even be able to regain my peace of mind again after having numerous face-offs with my wife, her mother (in conjuction with her twin sister) and her union of uncles but surprisingly enough, my boss bounced the message back by saying, Young man, you don't deserve it.

It pained me a lot and I nearly reported him to the Police but I remembered it was a corporate matter. So, I stayed down for another two weeks and decided to take the bull by the horns by making a heart-felt appeal to my wife. On that note, she called her father on phone to let him know of my next move. Actually, I told her it was time to take the education route again before continuing with the business stuff as I had to remind her I never went to NYSC after graduating 12 years ago! At first, she had mixed feeling about the whole thing but she remembered that I never cheated on her. So, I further reinforced her confidence by telling her,

Honey,

You know this NYSC is the only opportunity I have in order to come face to face with the Federal Government of Nigeria and that is the only way to say truth to power and as a strange man, I will live everyday as a happy man without fear of being pointed accusing fingers at knowing fully that I will not soil my garment at the orientation camp. Moreover, this might be the divide between who people say I am and who I truly am.

Immediately she heard the last paragraph, she held my both hands, uttered some incoherent words of prayer and said,

You're free to go, my son.

At first, I felt relieved but her closing remark got me laughing myself to stupor as I fell to the ground out of a naive shock.

Wait, who's your son? I asked as I mildly got myself back together.

Abeg get out. She said,

You hungry civilian. She added and went to her own sleeping space.

The next morning, I gave my daughter a gift from my grandfather's archive containing our family history written in blood, sweat and infinity as I moved out like the Solopreneur that I was. Till today, I never regret my actions.

For my inactions, I harvested uncertainty with both hands. Gradually, they riped into reality

What my father-in-law said when he met me for the first time

Like play like play, I follow this girl go their house after reaching an agreement that she would see me as her incumbet boyfriend even though say I no reach. She agreed and we got moving. That day, she told me to pose like an assassin because her father likes meeting strong, strange and neat people and I complied. That day, I nearly wore spiderman attire to that man's house and they welcomed us well until it was time for introduction and the daughter introduced me as her secondhand boyfriend which didn't go down well with the man as he had to take her aside and ask her if I wasn't her bodyguard as he had assumed. When they came back, he was smiling from chin to chin and I knew it was a done deal. So, he apologized to me for keeping the cola waiting and every other thing went well. Seeing no other reason to refuse my bidding, my wife told me to wow them with my driving skills. That was when I hopped into one of those mack trailers in the compound and set my direction due south! Everybody was clapping as they confirmed that small body no be sickness.

He mother told me to always hold her daughter's hand when we want to cross main roads and her father said I should never tell his daughter stories about other girls. I agreed and we left. That same evening, I started failing to fulfill my own side of the promise.

Now, I would have allowed you to hear my wife's side of the story but she is still asleep. Thank you!

By now, you ought to have known that this story didn't start here! You can see what my wife does...
https://www.nairaland.com/8072603/what-wife-does