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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... (2776 Views)
Lord Deliver Chelsea From Relegation. / D Good Son / Deliver Us From Akpan (2) (3) (4)
May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book. The message reads: My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note, In a conversation: AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College Friend: Really? What is he studying? AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him. Akpan visits his Doctor: AKPAN: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night. DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay. AKPAN: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game. Akpan and his wife : AKPAN: If 2moro I die, will you remarry? Wife: No! I will stay with my sister, but if I die will you remarry? AKPAN: No, I will also stay with your sister. AKPAN comes back to his car and finds a note saying “parking fine”. He writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for the compliment” How do you recognize Akpan in school? He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board. Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so. He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. AKPAN: Why are all these people running? Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup. AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running? In a classroom: Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense” AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”. AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!” Servant: “It is already raining” AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go” AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD” Wife: How do you know? AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again. 2 Likes |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 9:57pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
epistle |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:02pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
^Bad belle ur plan no go work. |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Dyt(f): 10:03pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
Scratches head |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:07pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
it's too dry.. try adding water next time |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by alonso071: 11:53pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
classical tale of copy and paste. oya make we laugh.[size=16pt]hahaha very funny[/size] |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by lovethgud: 11:54pm On Jun 10, 2012 |
Nice joke I like it |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by bright007(f): 7:52am On Jun 11, 2012 |
Where is d joke? |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 9:09am On Jun 11, 2012 |
bright007: Where is d joke?you dis lesbian have u taken ur lunatic drug dis morning?? |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:20am On Jun 11, 2012 |
booqee: you dis lesbian have u taken ur lunatic drug dis morning?? bright007 yoy were looking for the joke abi? ^^^^^^ Here is the joke............ @booqee Imagine COAL calling POT "Blacky" |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:20am On Jun 11, 2012 |
booqee: you dis lesbian have u taken ur lunatic drug dis morning?? bright007 you were looking for the joke abi? ^^^^^^ Here is the joke............ @booqee Imagine COAL calling POT "Blacky" |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 3:41pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
@Mugul. Did u drink gutter water twice today? Cos i wonder why u're posting two times. #Justwonderingsha... |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by supernet4(f): 4:54pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
hahahhaha very funny lmao |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by realsammie(m): 5:42pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
nice chapter There. i luv it .. waiting for chapter two...... |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 6:28pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
*yawns*. Here's the truth: It was a combination of known jokes. Too long and too dry. |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 6:47pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
Niceyenuf: *yawns*. Here's the truth: It was a combination of known jokes. Too long and too dry.pls do quick and close ur mouth, d odour wan kill me. Abi u chop iru(locust beans) dis evening ni?? #Justaskingoh..... |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Topewealth: 7:22pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
Nice jokes dear, keep it up! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 8:07pm On Jun 11, 2012 |
^^Fenks dear! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 12:32am On Jun 12, 2012 |
booqee: pls do quick and close ur mouth, d odour wan kill me. Abi u chop iru(locust beans) dis evening ni?? #Justaskingoh.....abeg tellam again like him no hear, d mouth odour dey run my battery down. -no mind dem dear, kip doin wat u knw hw 2 do best- nice joke! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 4:51am On Jun 12, 2012 |
Thanks! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Exponental(m): 9:24am On Jun 12, 2012 |
mrs akpan, .............u try |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:03am On Jun 12, 2012 |
booqee: @Mugul. Did u drink gutter water twice today? Cos i wonder why u're posting two times. Lesbooqee! I didn't...Lady tom boy ....... No offence ooooo |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:26am On Jun 12, 2012 |
MOGUL.O:gud morning to u too! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:34am On Jun 12, 2012 |
booqee: gud morning to u too! Gud morning love .... How was ur night? |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 10:41am On Jun 12, 2012 |
nice nice joke |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by bunmioguns(m): 12:02pm On Jun 12, 2012 |
I comment my reserve |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 12:03pm On Jun 12, 2012 |
~vicky~:thanks jare beta person! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 12:04pm On Jun 12, 2012 |
bunmioguns: I comment my reservebetter! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by lilkech(m): 2:42pm On Jun 12, 2012 |
this post is on the run |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Ajibel(m): 7:50pm On Jun 12, 2012 |
Akpan Akpan Akpan, find something berra!!! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by Nobody: 12:33am On Jun 14, 2012 |
booqee: pls do quick and close ur mouth, d odour wan kill me. Abi u chop iru(locust beans) dis evening ni?? #Justaskingoh.....Hahahahahaha Actually, I was typing. I never opened my mouth. So the odour must be coming from somewhere else which only you should know where. Should i guess? Hmmn? Nah, lemme just leave u 2 ueself, onyejiokem: abeg tellam again like him no hear, d mouth odour dey run my battery down. -no mind dem dear, kip doin wat u knw hw 2 do best- nice joke!Your battery? *what will i say to u ooooooooh?* hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok, refer to the comment above. Yikes! |
Re: May D Good Lord Deliver Us From D Hands Of Akpan Oh..... by twkalio(m): 6:13pm On Jun 23, 2012 |
cp no doubt.. Bt I still lyk it. |
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