[size=18pt]Jigsawkillah Vs Oluwagrin[/size]

Topic: My High School Crush.
Narrate your experience with a girl you had a crush on while in high school; the fun you had, the daredevil risks you took and some silly things you had to do to get her attention and, probably, win her heart.

Criteria

Creativity - 2

Entertainment - 2

Rhymes - 2

Imagery - 2

Consistency on Topic - 3


*Explanation of how a person won and where both can improve would be appreciated.

Rules:
No recycling, biting, complaining, whining, swaying, free-posting or being a biitch in general.

12 bars Maximum = 24 Total Lines.

Due Date: Friday, December 4th, 2015.

Time: 6:00PM

Good Luck!!!

gat ma eyes all here...

sir krone i no fit Bleep up bro

sorry bro...buh u said am battling on saturday..hope its nuh too late...cos am dropp'n it now

............MY SUGAR CRUSH............

Am scared of height,cos am scared of FALLING....(falling for you)

am scared of swimming,cos am scared of DROWNING.....(in your ocean of luv)

buh am not scared of loving you,only scared of REJECTION..../

u make ma head swell...tho am broke you pay me ur highest ATTENTION..../

they told us its was jz INFATUATION.../

buh bae years av passed yet ur still like my newly candy crush,wah did you give me? cud it be a love POTION..../

remember wen i told you dat i wil be your sunshine when u are in the RAIN...../

how i was gona give you ma happiness and take away your PAIN...../


oh how sweet the journey started back THEN.../

cant forget the day you walked up to my desk and ask for my extra PEN..../

tho you had urs wif you buh just wanted to scatter my dada more and drive me INSANE.../

the bottom is too crowded bae i swear ama take you to the TOP.../

your the REGGAE i dance to,the BLUES i listen to nd the favorite lines in ma rap HIPHOP..../

remember the kisses you gave in the school CANTEEN..../

yes baby......den you were still a TEEN....and i was already giv'n you the couples kinda loving @ my SEVENTEEN...../

sent you luv letters wit words like.."ur the only sugar in ma tea"..."d only cockroach in ma cupboard"lol FUNNY....

the smoochin weneva we were Hot.......

i was flogged 24 strokes on ma butt bae because i knocked out a nigga's front it because of YOU..../

i joined d school longest QUEUE....cos i was tryna get ur 2go username from YOU....

bae i even join SCRIPTURE UNION because of i wanted to show you dat am GOD FEARING....
/
even when d boi bin no sabii quote any john 3:16 buh was stil TRYING...../

abii na wen i use ma school fees buy you yoghurt nd eggroll for the whole week to claim dah "dis nigga is really CARING.../

shey u remember dah period wey i form "i wud be ur hero baby" collect cane for you and your friends stil u dey PostPONE..../
buh now am proud to say bae u did it nd ur now ma OWN....
ma highschool CRUSH...ma candy CRUSH...

Dis d first time am doin luv lines bae let it be like an EPITAPH....
teachers nd senior students flogged d hell outta me because of yhu buh tank God am still ALIVE..../

line 17 was suppose to be like....
"the smooching wen eva we get HORNYY/HONEY...(d auto correct kinda change lotsa stuffs)

and 18....
" i was flogged 24 on ma butt bae because i knocked off a nigga's front teeth because of you...

See sweet topic.

My High School Crush

The biggest bööbs that I have seen
Threw my pen on the floor, to look at her pänties
I daydream she standing there, seeing the bullies I vanquish
Dream sex so many times than you can imagine

Never talked to her, what are letters worth to her?
Big NOs are bad for Egos, better not woo her
Stole to update my stripes. . . 'cause only the flyest guys. . . With styles and cheddar talked to her!

My High School Crush. . .

Got a heavenly body, a Star with the dress
Moon and Sun worships her, she's Hard to impress
Intellectual goddess, Aphrodite with a damnèd brain
I pay attention to useless teachers, and hopes she let a man bang!

I wondered how would she ever notice I love her?
I can't openly date her 'cause one of the homie's her brother
She would have been a prefect if I'd shown I support her
But she despised dull guys and all the blokes from my quarter

My High School Crush

From bottom 10 to top five, but she wouldn't give a brother face
I accidentally kissed her skin, and I was dying for another taste
RIP Chris, you said you'd help me talk to her
You did, all I had to fûcking do was fûcking walk to her

Passed notes, class hos envy us, including the other fools
She said come tell me to my face and I promise to love ya too
I said next time but there would be no next time. . . The next term, she's relocated to another school!

Opened for votes

Sinizia
Funlord
Adanna28
Guykhena
Alexpissu
Reyginus
Emaprince
Krone

Hmmm, I was a little bit impressed with you guys because you considered the "topic" too ordinary . Well, the wow lines were really missing .

Oluwagrin : Your verse to me was more of a storytelling than poetry rap ...And for the records it was just too basic. When we talk about poetry , it's suppose to be deep and elevating. There is always room for improvement ...I want you to be conscious and come up with more rare concept that will appeal the listeners.

Jigsawkillah : You sticked to the topic just as your opponent ...But your creativity and intelligence was what I was rooting for and you ended up disappointing we the listeners. People make mistakes when given a particular "Topic" ( There is no such thing as simple topic) ...My sincere thoughts was that you were too relaxed with the topic .I have seen great stuffs from you but this was a NO for me. I won't deny the fact you brought entertainment .

My votes goes to Jigsawkillah not because he was superb ...He was more in-tune to rap poetry than Oluwagrin.

We have to give applause to Oluwagrin for stepping up to the podium....Oluwagrin, you should work more on your suspense, intelligence and creativity ....I believe with that you will one day become a better poetic rapper.

Creativity - 2 Jigsaw

Entertainment - 2 Oluwagrin

Rhymes - 2 Jigsaw

Imagery - 2 Jigsaw

Consistency on Topic - 3 Oluwagrin

Mvgt- Jigsaw


*Explanation of how a person won and where both can improve would be appreciated.


Jigsaw had more rhyme schemes in his verse compared to oluwagrin.

Oluwagrin work more on your rhymes dear, I felt more emotion in your verse compared to Jigsaws but stringing together pick up lines and trying to add a few end rhymes didn't work well with the execution.

Hence I gave the “creativity” criteria to Jigsaw, at least with jigsaw he tried to narrate a story that sounded more realistic from a crush point of view.

When you crush on a girl it doesn't mean she automatically your girlfriend as you betrayed in your verse Oluwagrin. The passionate kisses too much, a mere crush wouldnt do that, sounds more fantasy driven.

I gave the consistency on topic to Oluwagrin because he gave more of a description in the things he did to be noticed from his crush.

Jigsaw was rather brief it was more daydreaming than doing anything to be noticed. But than again, it was his homie sister he was crushing on.

Jigsaw should showcase more detail in action, of what he did to get the crush's attention, instead of it being more of the “mind” kind.

Bad man Jiggy

Creativity - 2 - Jig

Entertainment - 2 Oluwagrin

Rhymes - 2 Jigsaw

Imagery - 2 Oluwagrin

Consistency on Topic - 3 Jigsawkillah

Mvgt- Jigsaw

Oluwagrin lost this bout because his competitive strength is no match for Jig's. But this dude has a good sense of humour! I just can't help laugh over his lines. But then he didn't stick to the topic - how come your supposed crush is seen kissing you, meeting you for "an extra pen" while the opposite should have been the case? You were supposed to be the one doing all those and not the other way round. And, dude, you're hardly rhyming! You really need to work on it. Nice showing, anyway.

Creativity: JigSaw
Entertainment: Saw
Rhymes: Jigsaw
Imagery: Grin
Consistency: Both

Grin, I don't really understand what you mean by that first line. Yes, you are scared of heights but I don't understand how it equates falling in love. It is just a blank statement sounding sweet but without the required substance. Compare it to your second and third line and you see the difference.

Though mono syllabic your rhymes were consistent. But we expect more next time.

Saw, like the dude grin, was plain. It is a love letter sparsely laced with elements of poetry. Your second line was very creative and funny. Some of us did that I'm school. But you didn't treat this like a poetry project. You should come better next time.

Judge in charge calculate am abeg. I'm tired and lazy today.

thanks guys i rili appreciate....tho this ma first time of doing smtin like this.....
am all abuh the street,hardcore,hustle, life stories....

jigsaw respect,..hope to battle you someday...

watch out for moi new topic;

"JIG couldnt kill me"



peace!! dah fearless Newbie!!!!!

oluwagrin:
thanks guys i rili appreciate....tho this ma first time of doing smtin like this.....
am all abuh the street,hardcore,hustle, life stories....

jigsaw respect,..hope to battle you someday...

watch out for moi new topic;

"JIG couldnt kill me"



peace!! dah fearless Newbie!!!!!

don't say it. . . Do it!

. . .




Honestly guys, my style of writing is really not deep. . . I like my verses plain and easy to decode.
Thanks still. . . Can only get better

Sorry I'm late but my nigga got hitched yesterday so the 'gala and booze' made nairaland look like an add maths blog to me all thru the weekend!

Mvgt......... jigsawkillah


Both jig and oluwagrin were consistent, but I think jig won dis with 'experience'! Oluwagrin kept it within the 'naija realm' with some of his bars so kudos 4 that! After all na nairaland be dis! But jigs contribution was more 'poetic' in general! All though I think you could both have done better since this topic was easy as fu.........oh? Its sunday so I can't finish dat last part! Nice showing!