Dear Bros's/Aunties

Good morning to everyone, especially Nigerian Americans. They need it most. Happy elections. Don't think I'm crazy for greeting you happy elections, in Nigeria we greet people about everything. You have to get used to this now because you may be coming back home. So, Eku election.

I very much understand that you may soon be sent packing from there ( so is the rumour), so I have taken it upon myself to prepare you for the transition. You may have just little time left , utilize that time to learn more about Nigeria that you are coming back to.
In Nigeria, we don't have light. Buy power bank while coming. Don't say I didn't tell you. Buy power Bank from there because the ones here are just like ice cubes, they don't last. Buy a quality one from abroad when coming. Also, make sure you charge your phone full before coming here. You should also save money for generator. Buy rechargeable lamps and plenty torchlight too.

Also, save enough money for subscription. There is no free WiFi here. For those of you that will be settling in Lokoja, Jidenna and Co, I'll advice you to buy a glo line. Their network is strong. Is your tongue twisted? Please untwist it before coming because bus conductors need to hear you clearly and firmly before releasing your change. If you buy anything that has shelve life, remove 4months from the expiry date to get the real expiry date.

Start learning how to jump on and off a moving bus,you will need this if you are coming to Lagos. If you are going to Ondo or the North, start putting your face near naked flame because the sun there roasts skin like suya and you need to be prepared. Dont start crossing the road immediately you come, watch and learn how to be faster than Okada and danfo.

Please know that the only right that exists is your right hand and when giving direction. There is no such things as "I know my right"
Save enough money for emergency transport. By the time you get to the airport, you will need to board a keke from the airport to the badagry refugee centre, where your ancestors had been shipped to America before. Fuel don cost, transport don increase.

Do you eat moi moi? Learn it. In Nigeria you cannot sit down and order pizza anytime you want (You can but not anytime you want). The only order you can make is when you yell to the moi moi seller across the road to bring hot moi moi for you.
Learn proper home training. In Nigeria the only time the police will arrest your parents for hitting you is after you are dead already. And they will later settle the case as "a family affair". If you think you can come here to speak 'innit' , yawh meahn', 'shit' and 'Bleep' to your parents, it's the neighbours that will help them beat you.

Are you a graduate? It doesn't matter. There is no job.


credits: https://www.facebook.com/iromini.abiodun?hc_ref=SEARCH

Lmao,op has killed me

Is this suppose to make anyone laugh?
Really, every Nigerian think its the proper time to write whatever their hands can construct......
Pathetic.

And people think Nigerians over there will cine home? I trust the hustle, they will face another country even if Trump rejects them

Is this suppose to make anyone laugh?
Really, every Nigerian think its the proper time to write whatever their hands can construct......
Pathetic.

And people think Nigerians over there will cine home? I trust the hustle, they will face another country even if Trump rejects them