Good morning All,
i will be brief, my Dad hail from south
AS his son, i have noticed that my dad family members are always conniving against our interest
and treating us in such a way that suggest they had an agreement to fustrate us. what is worse is that my dad is oblivious of their plan and treating them nicely like brothers(2)while they plan behind him.

There is an undercurrent of strong hatred towards us and they act in stiff competition against us even when we try to act as one family towards them. they try to show off / compete in terms of who have more money, whose children is better off etc.

i suspect they meet to plan against us.
Whenever we go to family events that brings family people together, there is subtle nuance and body language that suggest strong hatred but faking smile at your face.

My questions are

should i go all out against them, tell them to their face / confront them as enemy and tell them stay clear？

is the paternal family important in events like woman marriage(sibling) becos i know they likely shun？

What should be the best and wise way to act in terms of future？

WILL STRONGLY APPRECIATE ALL ADVISE

Leave them to it do not get into a tussle/confrontation with them
Avoid unnecessary family functiins and if you have to attend; do not stay for long

dawnomike:
Leave them to it do not get into a tussle/confrontation with them
Avoid unnecessary family functiins and if you have to attend; do not stay for long

THANKS @dawnomike
But they act as if we dont know what is going on
And i noticed that people like to prey on your weakness or meekness

Walk away!

You dont need it.

I hope your father has drawn his will in the event that he kicks the bucket.

Your father should learn not to trust them, not eat or drink anything offered by them. He should be pray more....

What happened to staying on your own huh? I don't have any connection with any extended family, haven't spoken to any cousins in over 4 years now, na who send they dey send.

Don't go and start what you cannot finish,your father is aware but just using wisdom to handle them,do same. Don't go and stir Up any fights,it will naturally go once they are tired and noticed that no one gives a dime about their underlying hatred.

What do you intend to gain from the confrontation? Focus on your own life! If your own family is still sharing the same compound with your uncles and their families, your ambition should be building a house away from it! It is not by force to show face in every extended family functions.

NOTED, THANKS

Pavore9:
What do you intend to gain from the confrontation? Focus on your own life! If your own family is still sharing the same compound with your uncles and their families, your ambition should be building a house away from it! It is not by force to show face in every extended family functions.

We are not sharing the same compound,but there is a fmly house inherited by my father, that has been the focus with which they use to perpetuate their antagonistic actions like for example trying to ensure we dont stay there(previously on rentage)

Though we have our own house but not in city unlike fmly hs

drealdude:
Good morning All,
i will be brief, my Dad hail from south
AS his son, i have noticed that my dad family members are always conniving against our interest
and treating us in such a way that suggest they had an agreement to fustrate us. what is worse is that my dad is oblivious of their plan and treating them nicely like brothers(2)while they plan behind him.

There is an undercurrent of strong hatred towards us and they act in stiff competition against us even when we try to act as one family towards them. they try to show off / compete in terms of who have more money, whose children is better off etc.

i suspect they meet to plan against us.
Whenever we go to family events that brings family people together, there is subtle nuance and body language that suggest strong hatred but faking smile at your face.

My questions are

should i go all out against them, tell them to their face / confront them as enemy and tell them stay clear？

is the paternal family important in events like woman marriage(sibling) becos i know they likely shun？

What should be the best and wise way to act in terms of future？

WILL STRONGLY APPRECIATE ALL ADVISE

not only your family, mine as well. Front-page lalalastica, seun, mynd44

I'm finding it difficult to understand you. Please stop the abbreviations

Experience has taught me that those who always suspect/accuse others are those that have evil plans in most cases.

Op, you wrote all the epistles above without stating any tangible wrong done to you or your dad by his extended family
Just tell us that your mum has poisoned your mind against your dad's family, we'll understand.

Jman06:
Experience has taught me that those who always suspect/accuse others are those that have evil plans in most cases.

Op, you wrote all the epistles above without stating any tangible wrong done to you or your dad by his extended family
Just tell us that your mum has poisoned your mind against your dad's family, we'll understand.

@Jman06, I can assure this is a different case to your experience.
I believe i hav laid out some of their actions and behaviour against us in my opening post.
The thing is i am being a little vague not to narrow down , you know this is the internet
In any case, we have been the naive ones ever since and besides my mom is no more

First of All I your POV and drusty is very clear and I'll advise you to treat them the way they treat you but this time to their stinking face

drealdude:

@Jman06, I can assure this is a different case to your experience.
I believe i hav laid out some of their actions and behaviour against us in my opening post.
The thing is i am being a little vague not to narrow down , you know this is the internet
In any case, we have been the naive ones ever since and besides my mom is no more

Sorry about the loss of your mum.
You should know that there's always this subtle competition in families, even among siblings. Such competitions are normal provided they are healthy and no one is going for the kills or trying to stop others through diabolical means. So, you guys should take their attitudes as normal display of competition until you have good evidence that any of them is going diabolical. Just be smart in relating with them for now.

Unfortunately children who go up in these scenarios where parents siblings are acting queer often do not have the background story to why things are that way.

Upon further and intentional probe the root cause of this perceived hatred or anger may be discovered and perhaps resolved.

Jman06:
Experience has taught me that those who always suspect/accuse others are those that have evil plans in most cases.

Op, you wrote all the epistles above without stating any tangible wrong done to you or your dad by his extended family
[s] Just tell us that your mum has poisoned your mind against your dad's family, we'll understand.[/s]

Accuser!

Have you thought about asking your dad about it? Just see what he says. Is your mom aware? If she is, has she talked to your dad about it? She’s in the best position to bring it up if at all necessary.

Make sure you have something tangible before stirring the hornet’s nest.

drealdude:
Good morning All,
i will be brief, my Dad hail from south
AS his son, i have noticed that my dad family members are always conniving against our interest
and treating us in such a way that suggest they had an agreement to fustrate us. what is worse is that my dad is oblivious of their plan and treating them nicely like brothers(2)while they plan behind him.

There is an undercurrent of strong hatred towards us and they act in stiff competition against us even when we try to act as one family towards them. they try to show off / compete in terms of who have more money, whose children is better off etc.

i suspect they meet to plan against us.
Whenever we go to family events that brings family people together, there is subtle nuance and body language that suggest strong hatred but faking smile at your face.

My questions are

should i go all out against them, tell them to their face / confront them as enemy and tell them stay clear？

is the paternal family important in events like woman marriage(sibling) becos i know they likely shun？

What should be the best and wise way to act in terms of future？

WILL STRONGLY APPRECIATE ALL ADVISE

I think you are too junior to confront them

I don't know your age

You people should talk to your father to fight for a place for you guys

Your father is still alive and they are treating you like this, if he's gone what happens

You and your siblings should seat that man down and talk sense to him over his family

Let him know that whatever good he is doing for them a d neglecting you people is like pouring water on moulded block, it will suck it and still remains dry

frozen70:


I think you are too junior to confront them

I don't know your age

You people should talk to your father to fight for a place for you guys

Your father is still alive and they are treating you like this, if he's gone what happens

You and your siblings should seat that man down and talk sense to him over his family

Let him know that whatever good he is doing for them a d neglecting you people is like pouring water on moulded block, it will suck it and still remains dry

@frozen70 You just analysed exactly the issue at hand.
If they are treating us like this now, what will happen when as you said, God forbid. I hav tried making him see the truth about them, he usually say we keep our mothers family close while demonising his own,(when every parent take their children first above all others)
the thing they pain me nor be small
and they capitalise on that, smiling at him
and try to influence him about the fmly house

drealdude:

@frozen70 You just analysed exactly the issue at hand.
If they are treating us like this now, what will happen when as you said, God forbid. I hav tried making him see the truth about them, he usually say we keep our mothers family close while demonising his own,(when every parent take their children first above all others)
the thing they pain me nor be small
and they capitalise on that, smiling at him
and try to influence him about the fmly house

You see, most father's family members are case

You don't know if your dad was hypnosised

Your dad may not be doing it with clear eyes

They want to use your dad to establish their own family, train their children then dump him lije an empty sack

Just look for one among your uncles that you think is better than the rest and start getting close to him

With time, you will understand the games and the role each of them are playing

As for you dad, enough has been said, team up with mum and siblings to form a team that you guys will have a strong bond

Leave your dad let him be playing with those that will deal with him

Never you confront them, so that they won't deal with you.

A child doesn't confront his kinsmen where the father is still alive

Stay away from family problem and politics if you value your life

drealdude:
Good morning All,
i will be brief, my Dad hail from south
AS his son, i have noticed that my dad family members are always conniving against our interest
and treating us in such a way that suggest they had an agreement to fustrate us. what is worse is that my dad is oblivious of their plan and treating them nicely like brothers(2)while they plan behind him.

There is an undercurrent of strong hatred towards us and they act in stiff competition against us even when we try to act as one family towards them. they try to show off / compete in terms of who have more money, whose children is better off etc.

i suspect they meet to plan against us.
Whenever we go to family events that brings family people together, there is subtle nuance and body language that suggest strong hatred but faking smile at your face.

My questions are

should i go all out against them, tell them to their face / confront them as enemy and tell them stay clear？

is the paternal family important in events like woman marriage(sibling) becos i know they likely shun？

What should be the best and wise way to act in terms of future？

WILL STRONGLY APPRECIATE ALL ADVISE

give us a bit background of your family, is your father's financially better than other relatives?

As kids are you achieving better than other cousins eg better results at skol etc ?

travelland:
Stay away from family problem and politics if you value your life

OK, THKS

frozen70:



You see, most father's family members are case

You don't know if your dad was hypnosised

Your dad may not be doing it with clear eyes

They want to use your dad to establish their own family, train their children then dump him lije an empty sack

Just look for one among your uncles that you think is better than the rest and start getting close to him

With time, you will understand the games and the role each of them are playing

As for you dad, enough has been said, team up with mum and siblings to form a team that you guys will have a strong bond

Leave your dad let him be playing with those that will deal with him

Never you confront them, so that they won't deal with you.

A child doesn't confront his kinsmen where the father is still alive

Will do as you suggested, Thanks

drealdude:

Will do as you suggested, Thanks

God will see you through

drealdude:
Good morning All,
i will be brief, my Dad hail from south
AS his son, i have noticed that my dad family members are always conniving against our interest
and treating us in such a way that suggest they had an agreement to fustrate us. what is worse is that my dad is oblivious of their plan and treating them nicely like brothers(2)while they plan behind him.

There is an undercurrent of strong hatred towards us and they act in stiff competition against us even when we try to act as one family towards them. they try to show off / compete in terms of who have more money, whose children is better off etc.

i suspect they meet to plan against us.
Whenever we go to family events that brings family people together, there is subtle nuance and body language that suggest strong hatred but faking smile at your face.

My questions are

should i go all out against them, tell them to their face / confront them as enemy and tell them stay clear？

is the paternal family important in events like woman marriage(sibling) becos i know they likely shun？

What should be the best and wise way to act in terms of future？

WILL STRONGLY APPRECIATE ALL ADVISE

This is one of the annoying things parents do.

And they can't seem to define a clear cut line between their sons/daughters and family they came out from.

My dad too did something similar and it was a traumatic experience.

Best thing, concentrate on being a super duper success in life and ensure you are "stinkingly" rich (legit o)!

When money talks, bullshit takes a walk so don't ever bother to confront them bro!

With time, your success will put them where they belong!

And when they eventually get friendly, don't fall for the bait! Cos they might have hidden intentions against u.

As per the woman/marriage thingy, almost anybody can go to court with their wife/hubby and get married!

The law doesn't say "families must be present for them to consummate a marriage".

Above all, pray about it! May God's wisdom guide u

bigl:


This is one of the annoying things parents do.

And they can't seem to define a clear cut line between their sons/daughters and family they came out from.

My dad too did something similar and it was a traumatic experience.

Best thing, concentrate on being a super duper success in life and ensure you are "stinkingly" rich (legit o)!

When money talks, bullshit takes a walk so don't ever bother to confront them bro!

With time, your success will put them where they belong!

And when they eventually get friendly, don't fall for the bait! Cos they might have hidden intentions against u.

As per the woman/marriage thingy, almost anybody can go to court with their wife/hubby and get married!

The law doesn't say "families must be present for them to consummate a marriage".

Above all, pray about it! May God's wisdom guide u

THKS @bigl
It is true that the best revenge is massive success