Please ma help me post and hide my I'd. I need advice, I have known my husband for 7years now married for 5years but since I know him he always want me indoors cause of his a pastor. I graduated under his roof but since I graduated 2016 he doesn't want to collect my certificate and he promised my dad he would take over my education cause I was already in final year before marriage. Now I have a son of 1y7m I want to look for work with my ond results he refused telling me he would rent the shop in front of the house for me when ever he has money(he has been saying that for 4years now) he said if I go out to look for job I should remain there. But I want to look for job because the only thing he provides for me is food. I don't make my hair ,no clothes or shoes, no bra no pants, my mom buys them for me and baby, nothing nothing from him. He only gives 500 when ever he is traveling I am just a full house wife with my pending 2.1 certificate of no use. Please should I go for the job or keep waiting for imaginary shop. Nb: we have separated severally

Your education is as good as useless.
The times you ppl were separated you didn't collect your cert nor start up something from your parents home.

All to be Mrs, look at how an adult is in modern prison.
Nawaoo!

Let me wait for marriage counselors because your matter don reach to go village.

chiomaxwell27:
Please ma help me post and hide my I'd. I need advice, I have known my husband for 7years now married for 5years but since I know him he always want me indoors cause of his a pastor. I graduated under his roof but since I graduated 2016 he doesn't want to collect my certificate and he promised my dad he would take over my education cause I was already in final year before marriage. Now I have a son of 1y7m I want to look for work with my ond results he refused telling me he would rent the shop in front of the house for me when ever he has money(he has been saying that for 4years now) he said if I go out to look for job I should remain there. But I want to look for job because the only thing he provides for me is food. I don't make my hair ,no clothes or shoes, no bra no pants, my mom buys them for me and baby, nothing nothing from him. He only gives 500 when ever he is traveling I am just a full house wife with my pending 2.1 certificate of no use. Please should I go for the job or keep waiting for imaginary shop. Nb: we have separated severally

1. Why you no fit collect your certificate by your own self? Are you disabled or something?

2. Marriage does not rid a woman of her individuality neither does it strip her of abilities to use her own brain for herself, so explain to us exactly why, for 4 years, you have chosen to sit back, refusing to get a job, waiting instead for you husband to maybe win the lottery and get you a store?

3. If you as an individual already know and understand that your husband is unable, on his own salary alone, to provide you what you desire, why again have you chosen to sit back for all those years so you can maybe complain and blame it all on him?

4. Why did you chose to be a housewife all this while? How has it benefited your marriage in all that time - your happiness and his combined?

5. You don separate now, so what is keeping you from taking back your life, getting a job and meaning into your existence abeg , so that should you reunite with your husband after separation, you won't live as you used to - like a doll in your own marriage?

I counsel couples but this issue is seriously serious.

Separated severally, #500 when travelling, no pants, bra, shoes, dress etc. Must not look for job and imaginary shop to be established. All within 4 years of marriage.

The man self na pastor. If I see him I will give him alagbon slap. Na dem dey spoil our call.

I'm confused. Don't know what to advise.

This is slavery!

Many women were subjected to such torture and limitations in the past but liberated themselves somewhere along the line when things got out of hands. This was even when timidity and lack of exposure was still the order of the day with the women folk. So, I wonder why you should be going through such in this 21st century where people have gotten wiser.

Look, ill advise you to go get a job and damn the consequence because that man doesn't mean well for you by caging you and not even establishing you in anyway or giving you money to take care of your personal needs. Imagine.. giving you 500 naira. To do what? Even beggars on the street make more than that.
You're just existing and slaving for him; wasting away. No personal fulfillment, no, enjoyment, nothing. Hes just using you like a puppet to achieve his own aims ( birthing children and cooking for him).

if you don't act now, you might realize too late that your life has been wasted, by what time it will be too late to do anything again.

So, get a job. If he says to stay there, fine. Stay there and do something tangible with your life because it's better to get a job and get a life than keep a marriage and lose yourself and purpose of existence.

Everybody come life come enjoy. Therefore no body has the right to restrict another from enjoying or achieving their lifes dreams just because of one dumb marriage.

The marriage you're trying to protect is turning you to a nonentity. I wonder why should fight to keep such toxic union.

No man is worth sacrificing your happiness and fufilment in life for.

This is modern day slavery all in the name of marriage

Separate again, and make sure you become anything u want to become before coming back to him.

chiomaxwell27:
Please ma help me post and hide my I'd. I need advice, I have known my husband for 7years now married for 5years but since I know him he always want me indoors cause of his a pastor. I graduated under his roof but since I graduated 2016 he doesn't want to collect my certificate and he promised my dad he would take over my education cause I was already in final year before marriage. Now I have a son of 1y7m I want to look for work with my ond results he refused telling me he would rent the shop in front of the house for me when ever he has money(he has been saying that for 4years now) he said if I go out to look for job I should remain there. But I want to look for job because the only thing he provides for me is food. I don't make my hair ,no clothes or shoes, no bra no pants, my mom buys them for me and baby, nothing nothing from him. He only gives 500 when ever he is traveling I am just a full house wife with my pending 2.1 certificate of no use. Please should I go for the job or keep waiting for imaginary shop. Nb: we have separated severally

You are a woman. Use your god given goods.

wakanda selfish and insecure control freak did you marry?

you better put your feet on the ground and insist on your financial independence.

if he refuses to allow you work or open a business for you, I'll advice you leave him permanently.

Go get a job abeg. Times are hard and you need to start taking part of the family bills.

GboyegaD:
Go get a job abeg. Times are hard and you need to start taking part of the family bills.

She needs to break free from Dt bondage honestly