| How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by tomi4life: 1:15pm On May 19 |
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by harqinhola(m): 1:28pm On May 19 |
Any woman that has feminism tendency should not be married . 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by psalmylee(m): 1:29pm On May 19 |
Shey person go.marry like this , with all this stories I read on social media..
Me I no get mind for wahala oo
E be like say person go rethink this marriage thing sef
After all it's not a priority to me oo..
Wahala for who a carry marriage for head abeg..
My ear don full this previous week wey pass abt marriage..
Me I no get wpman wahala o |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by DaddyRochie1642: 1:31pm On May 19 |
You sound like a very weak man,
I am so angry reading this your story,
You are WEAK, see the way she is walking all over this man,
Your money is deceiving you, that money that you think you have now is the one that is deceiving you and making you not to reason well and reclaim your place as the head of that your family.
If you were my son and i was your father, I would have been tempted to curse you for disgracing my name and making it look like I raised a weak child that doesn't know what's best for himself.
Oga to slap you dey hungry me honestly. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by ogashman(m): 1:46pm On May 19 |
Didn't u get a glimpse of these red flags during courtship? Or you guys didn't date?
I believe u saw them but chose to ignore them.
For a person that is churchy, ur wife is just deceiving herself. You can't be a church goer, read the Bible and still behave in such a despicable manner. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by UjuJoan2: 1:48pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. I don't think you married a very nice person. We only heard your side shaa, but somethings you mentioned are just plain disrespectful and wicked. Also, it’s very possible shea cheating. You only think that's not possible because she's “born again” but ve had enough experience with those types that I know that they are even worse. Nature hates a vaccum. Nobody can be that detached. If she’s not showing that passion to you, she might be showing it to someone else, or be in love with someone she cannot be with. I think counseling is a good idea so you guys can figure out the way forward in your marriage. Sometimes counseling guides you on how to move forward and seek for healthier relationships . As for the other lady you have feelings for, again like I said, nature hates a vacuum. I'm sure you must have felt for your wife at one point the way you feel for her now, your heart is seeking a replacement for that passion and that is completely normal. It doesn't necessarily mean she will make a better spouse if you get involved with her. You wife acts like she is pissed about something, maybe something you did in the past? She may have a bitter and unforgiving heart and is reacting the only way she knows how to. But she is taking it too far and maybe she really doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore. You need to figure it out. Marriage is not meant to be endured. The whole reason for getting married is to have a partner and a companion to share life with. The way you guys are going, you might as well be single. 11 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by advanceDNA: 1:56pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. What's surprising me in all of this is that u are still calling her "ur wife".  .. Nigga ..u are married to ur self....u are just a means to an end....this woman u described, .Like all women ... over estimate their worth in a relationship, assume they are doing u a huge favour and have done their part by marrying you, open legs and birthing kids.... Oga ade....don't leave ur house for anyone ..the woman u just described wont even give a flying fvck u left....she's just a naturally unkind, insensitive, inconsiderate person..... Damaged breeds with no emotional compass ..them full everywhere.. they have no business being married...but wanting to live bills free won't make them stay alone... Oga Ade....serve her divorce papers.....tell her u are tired with are room mate style of marriage....if she doesnt see need to change after that...then its not worth beingnmarried to such Baba...... U have only one life and u are living it with someone frustrating and making u terribly unhappy .....which kind of simping tolerance level is this...?? Spits!!!!! 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Righteousness2(m): 2:15pm On May 19 |
My Brother tomi4life,
Succubus and incubus look to have Eaten seriously deep unto your Home.
No matter how enlighthen, Wealthy or whatever you are, when you Isolate GOD from your Home, you have opened a loop hole for to devil to Enter. It is just a matter of time, the devil will come in Full time and Shatter the whole place.
Are you saved?
Is your wife saved?
Do you guys Pray together as a family?
The solution is not to add another Trouble with Adultery. That will be suicidal SPIRTUALLY, physically, Healthly and so on.
The Solution is for your Family to Encounter JESUS CHRIST indeed not just in mouth.
I invite you to visit the LORD'S CHOSEN. Even if your wife refuses to go with you, as the Head of the family go alone and stand for your Family.
I am So certain, the GOD of CHOSEN will work on you, Work on your wife, work on your Home and restore your Home
This is a Spirtual battle and Somebody needs to stand in the Gap to rescue the Home.
If you will, send me a mail, lets connect and have a word of Prayer.
1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Observer23: 2:19pm On May 19 |
Righteousness2:
My Brother, Succubus and incubus look yo have Eaten deep unto your Home. You mean the wife has a spirit husband? 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Mindlog: 2:19pm On May 19 |
Google for professional marriage therapists and filter through, keep away from pastors who claim to be marriage therapists.
The therapy is to help you both, achieve clarity....to know if you both have a chance in rebuilding your marriage or accept the reality it has ended, move on separately and work out healthy co-parenting. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Mom007(f): 2:20pm On May 19 |
You don't have a wife. You just have a woman in the house. Do with that piece of information whatever you please. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by ChybuzzDD(m): 2:23pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry any This marriage has already ended a long time ago without you knowing. Please do well to officially end it. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Homeboiy: 2:25pm On May 19 |
Righteousness2:
My Brother, Succubus and incubus look yo have Eaten deep unto your Home. Give solutions not quoting spiritual talks |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Gadafii: 3:19pm On May 19 |
She's definitely given another man attention and the wifely vibes she's denying you off
If it's no longer working, for the peace of your sanity, let it go especially when your partner is not ready to make things work
Yu have kids already, give her the space she craves and go engrossed in another thing that's more profitable and rewarding, if she thinks it's easy to get a husband outside again let her try as a single mom of kids
You as a man you are still very much in demand especially if you are well to do with
Marriage, honestly don't favor men like that 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by mokset123: 4:06pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. From all you wrote up there, my brother it hasn't crashed. Marriage is hard work put effort into it rather than looking for an easy way out through fornication |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by michlins(m): 4:28pm On May 19 |
Spending $150 on a dead relationship. But how can these pastors get mind charge $150/hr.
That being said, tell her about your plans for divorce and see how she reacts to it.
Na why I don't deal with religious people. They're too wicked privately |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by advanceDNA: 4:33pm On May 19 |
michlins:
Spending $150 on a dead relationship. But how can these pastors get mind charge $150/hr.
That being said, tell her about your plans for divorce and see how she reacts to it.
Na why I don't deal with religious people. They're too wicked privately Pastors dey charge for counselling |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by LilMissFavvy(f): 5:01pm On May 19 |
Your wife suggested that you lead in morning prayers, you refused. She suggested marriage counseling, you still refused. There are other cheaper professional marriage counselors. You refused to do the things she demanded, yet rushed to date a colleague at work. If you had a faulty car, you would manage it to reach your journey, but because it's the wife of your youth, you want to divorce her. Hope you are not a Christian, because if you are a Christian, you will pay for it on "that day". No matter how the scriptures have been twisted by many, your bible said if you divorce, stay single, don't remarry. Where was your colleague when you were single? Why didn't she locate and marry you when you were a bachelor  4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by WeddingParol: 5:21pm On May 19 |
You are married to yourself.
First do a DNA of those children to be sure they are yours.
If positive, congratulations! But you need to shake her a little with a divorce threat. Her reaction will determine if you should go further or she's ready to change.
If negative, please advise yourself. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by mrblessed(m): 9:20pm On May 19 |
Her attention is elsewhere, whether cheating or not. I think you are living in self-denial. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by cocolacec(m): 9:24pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. I can recommend a good marriage counsellor for you.Barr Afolabi dm.me for her contact. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by sod21: 9:26pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. this is what i will advice you there are times in this marital journey that you will need someone to talk to and to guide you properly, who is reliable and as some spiritual abilities to put you through, there is this man of God i can recommend, he does marital counseling and can help in providing solutions his number also on whatsapp number +2348039614394 |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by starpower(m): 9:27pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well. Encourage her to change her contraceptives, if she is slightly psychotic it might worse due to hormonal imbalance. The are always in denial too.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by ghettochild(m): 10:00pm On May 19 |
my brother, are u in this marriage because of the kids or because she's spiritual via prayer.
even bible talk about bad wife for proverbs
with all these things u mentioned about her...
she's not a good life... I repeat She's not a good wife..
it evident ur wife is no longer in love with u..
Maybe she married u cos of ur ability to provide...
we all know women dont marry for love but for what that man can provide her....it's ok that basis women love.
She not ready for counselling as she knows it won't help either of you..
here's my advice... carry out DNA test on ur kids first.... u go know if she truly never cheat on u..
after that tell her u want a divorce.....
and once u mention that...
stop eating her food...
In fact I'll advice u move out of the house..m
Na so u fit get peace of mind Ooo.
it's hard to do but you will have peace of mind...
marriage no b by force oooo |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Cowbell521: 10:07pm On May 19 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. End the marriage. If you can't do that, get a side chick. No marriage councillor in this world can help you and no amount of talk can change things oga. Speaking from experience. Hotel na temporary solution. If you get money, rent an apartment or buy house close to your workplace. No go rent house for side chick Oo. I repeat . No rent for side chick. I was in the same situation and doing this gave me relief. Na she dey even find my attention now Your weakness dey disgust d woman sef. Better go do DNA test 😂😂 |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by 1Sharon(f): 12:13am On May 20 |
You didn't date? |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Acrobatics01: 3:16am On May 20 |
Unfortunately, you lost you home long ago. A man is the head of a family and it goes the way you steer it to go. So if it fails, it's on you.
You are in a car for one hr and you both dont talk, right? If you raised a discussion, would she she keep quiet? So for the one hr you both were thinking about your personal businesses and didnt have anything to share. You should be ashamed of yourself for allowing a young lady at work to get you all in the name of compatibility. You probable married her because she's virtuous, so why arent you leading a morning devotion session? You want a therapist to tell her to stop her devotionals? I can blame you a 100 times but let me stop the blame and get to action.
1. Tell the Delilah at the office that you realised you have gone far with her and tell her you are reducing your exposure (except you dont have balls to admit your mistake)
2. Tell your wife that you appreciate her spirituality and you want to support her to do more. So start by reading the bible as a family everyday. You can do 10 verses daily. then discuss learning points and pray with her. You will see she loves to talk. she is not talking because you both dont have congruence.
3. Stop thinking about what she did wrong in the past and recount the good things you know about her, then your appreciation would grow. Stop thinking about whether you saw red flags during dating or not.
4. Your love making should not be a mechanical activity, done only when yo are Hot or when you want to make babies. Look for other soft ways to start and romanticise every activity.
I will stop here. If you havent told the Delilah at your workplace by 21 May 2024 that you are cutting ties with him then you are no better than a goat, sir.
Enjoy your marriage 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by AcadaWriter: 4:32am On May 20 |
You didn't date? ... Erm, need help with your academic papers? Contact us. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by 4reala(m): 1:23pm On May 20 |
Can you just try that morning devotion thing she talked about for a week and see how things goes 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by advanceDNA: 2:15pm On May 20 |
4reala:
Can you just try that morning devotion thing she talked about for a week and see how things goes Na morning devotion dey make am behave like evil spirit inside house.....?? 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Villa12(m): 4:27pm On May 20 |
tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.
I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.
We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.
My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.
Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.
This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.
Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.
I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse. i respect your decision taking your family affairs away from your family and her own family. You're indeed a matured man. Please pay no attention to anyone telling you to divorce your wife. Majority of them are either single or going through worse situations than yours. I am also a single guy but i can never advise a man to divorce his wife over this issue, neither will i advise a woman to divorce her husband. I'm glad you didn't outrightly condemn your wife. You did gave her some credit in terms of spiritual and fidelity which obviously is the foundation of marriage. The only condition you can divorce your wife is if she's cheating on you which you confirm she isn't. Honestly. If i have such a wife i wouldn't think twice looking for means in other aspects of her that i felt needed amendments. I'd make sure our marriage works. Please see a marriage counselor. Take your family affair away from anyone that will be pointing accusing fingers at either you or your wife. Take it away from anyone that may want you guys separated or divorce. Please always avail yourself leading your family in prayer. I guess you can change her for good in other aspects through that. You can also meet her pastor or his wife to have a discussion regarding her attitude towards you. I believe they'd talk to her. Consider a marriage counselor, your wife pastor and his wife. I believe things will turn around for good. Please take no heed to anyone telling you to divorce your wife. Trust me they're your enemy. |
| Re: How Do I Fix My Marriage, It Has Crashed by Villa12(m): 4:31pm On May 20 |
Cowbell521:
End the marriage. If you can't do that, get a side chick. No marriage councillor in this world can help you and no amount of talk can change things oga. Speaking from experience. Hotel na temporary solution. If you get money, rent an apartment or buy house close to your workplace. No go rent house for side chick Oo. I repeat . No rent for side chick. I was in the same situation and doing this gave me relief. Na she dey even find my attention now
Your weakness dey disgust d woman sef. Better go do DNA test 😂😂 your own destiny is different from others. The fact that you separated or divorce your wife doesn't guarantee every men should follow your path. I have seen marriages worse than this being resolved without going through your route. That is your own story. Every other person's story obviously will be different from yours. |
