Think ahead.

Think not for yourself alone but for the cab men, because most times, it seems they are zoned out; not in touch with the reality in front of them. The reality being road accidents and possible death.

Sticking to your Right of Way

Sticking to your right of way is not always a good idea. This might sound crazy but Abuja cab men do not know what another road- user’s right of way is. Call it ignorance or plain mischievousness, this beloved group of Nigerians technically do not “send”. So forget about insisting on your rights. They have nothing to lose by scratching their already pockmarked cab and your own.

Honking

Abuja cab drivers often and irritatingly so, have this habit of honking their horns at the slightest opportunity.
Normally, honking is for emergency situations, but no, not for these beloved members of society. Their horns are their most cherished possession. Why should you be grateful for the extra noise? Well it alerts us that they are around. It therefore says: “Get whatever you love- your car or your legs out of the way.” So appreciate the warning.

Ignore Harsh Words

Ignore their harsh words and insults. Their famous one- liners may range from lewd remarks about your gender to references to your poor parents being doomed for life for having given birth to you. As hilarious as most of them might be, the rudeness is most unnecessary. Reply with an equally insulting remark and risk a scene similar to Armageddon on the highway. So we suggest you drive away, as fast as you possibly can.

Stay Alert

Stay alert and aware on the road as the Abuja cab man can pop out of any corner, at any time ready to give you a memorable confrontation or a dent in the side of your car. If you forget, you pay; somehow.

http://www.abujafood.com/news-digest/bite/489-cab-drivers.html

normalcy

p

noted

Tnx.na their way

There is enough frustration everywhere.

Noted.

If you are worried about Abuja cab drivers, then try Jos !!!!

Thank God i don't drive when I'm in Abuja.

Unlike in lagos and some other states where fines are imposed on reckless drivers, in abuja so long as you have your papers in order you can drive anyhow u like

come to Lagos and see real madness...all this one na child's play!

Very normal!!

The craziness of lagos drivers is legendary!!

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous maneouvre.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Culled from another thread on NL!!

OP: lol at 'honking'...so frustrating!

First to reply...dancing Azonto
;DFirst to reply...dancing Azonto

@polictian,funniest thing i have read in a long time

Enugu have the best cab and well train drivers in Africa...Well behaved,respectfull n dey drive safely.det obey all traffic signs.You'll enjoy ur ride in and out of the city.....Coal City all the way....Take a look at dis...

jammyng: Thank God i don't drive when I'm in Abuja.

You re right, I was always seeing u treking frm maraba to wuse mkt

Op, nice points you have up there. But its still a child's play to what is happening in Lagos.

I have lived in both Lagos and Abuja and i can tell you Abuja drivers and driving is 100 Times more dangerous than Lagos.

Erratic driving is applicable in both Lagos and Abuja.The differences are these;

1. Lagos drivers are crazy BUT skilled,some Danfo drivers can find space to park between branches on a tree if you allow them.

2.Abuja drivers are crazy AND don't know how to drive! It's like they don't know the function of brake pedals in cars!

Krucifax: I have lived in both Lagos and Abuja and i can tell you Abuja drivers and driving is 100 Times more dangerous than Lagos.

Erratic driving is applicable in both Lagos and Abuja.The differences are these;

1. Lagos drivers are crazy BUT skilled,some Danfo drivers can find space to park between branches on a tree if you allow them.

2.Abuja drivers are crazy AND don't know how to drive! It's like they don't know the function of brake pedals in cars!

Seconded, especially at all those T junctions in Wuse 2.

politician: Very normal!!

The craziness of lagos drivers is legendary!!

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous maneouvre.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Culled from another thread on NL!!

lwkm....... can't stop laughing!!!

ifyeky: First to reply...dancing Azonto
;DFirst to reply...dancing Azonto

Reply wot? mu.mu ode

thank you

politician: Very normal!!

The craziness of lagos drivers is legendary!!

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous maneouvre.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Culled from another thread on NL!!

Thanks! You made my day. LWKMD!!!

lagos is too congested,if u drive anyhow u go get injury but in abj u might be safe when u drive anyhow,abuja na d main place,i love my capital city

I have lived and worked in Lagos indeed my family still lives there, i presently work in Abuja been here the last 15 months i can confidently say that Abuja drivers are lunatics on wheels and as one poster said the sad part is they actually dont know how to drive. When i first cam here i was so sure Abuja taxis in particular were designed without brakes and this can easily be attested to by the number of accidents in my vicinity on a daily basis. I live in WuseII and accidents, usual fatal happen nearly everyday at the junctions on Ahmadu Bello way weekends is something else when more people are drunk on kainkain and all sorts i wonder why the national press has not deemed it fit to report on the rate of accidents on Abuja city roads and to think Abuja has the best roads in Nigeria!!!! Just can't wait to get back to Lagos and abandon these abokis.

isuomo: I have lived and worked in Lagos indeed my family still lives there, i presently work in Abuja been here the last 15 months i can confidently say that Abuja drivers are lunatics on wheels and as one poster said the sad part is they actually dont know how to drive. When i first cam here i was so sure Abuja taxis in particular were designed without brakes and this can easily be attested to by the number of accidents in my vicinity on a daily basis. I live in WuseII and accidents, usual fatal happen nearly everyday at the junctions on Ahmadu Bello way weekends is something else when more people are drunk on kainkain and all sorts i wonder why the national press has not deemed it fit to report on the rate of accidents on Abuja city roads and to think Abuja has the best roads in Nigeria!!!! Just can't wait to get back to Lagos and abandon these abokis.

It was recently announced that Abuja has the highest rate of accident in Nigeria!
Nevertheless, the private drivers too are not left behind..... you see someone who just bought a car today and wants to drive her on the highway today today.

Abuja Drivers have no regard for Traffic rules. It's only in Abuja you'll find Cab drivers disrespecting Traffic warders. It's just so unfortunate.

politician: Very normal!!

The craziness of lagos drivers is legendary!!

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous maneouvre.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Culled from another thread on NL!!

Hahahahaha. I don laugh fall from chair

The unsolicited uncalled for , annoying, irritating , sickening taxi horns ! pushing me to the brink of insanity and violence . What can I do about it? What can anybody do about it? . I will never kill a human being but if I am ever accused of the murder of someone for blaring his horn unnecessarily , I most probably did it.

Number 3 is so true, their hands are permanently on the car horn.