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When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 1:54pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
What would you do? We humans often love to brag about our accomplishments, but what happens when your biggest and proudest achievement(s) doesn't fair so well compared to his/her peers? Is it so bad? I was reading the following article about one woman's experience and someone commented "The world will always need check-out assistants" . Share your thoughts http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/22/why-isnt-my-child-clever-as-me I didn't realise how important being bright was to me until I had a daughter who wasn't. I was brought up by searingly intelligent parents, both complicated, funny, intellectual. They bonded over cryptic crosswords and were contemptuous of tabloid-reading mouth-breathers. 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by damiso(f): 2:07pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I can soooo relate to this article. Am just remembering how i was flipping out when my daughter was classed as on the lower end of class based on numeracy. I practically clugged the whole house with numbers and in 3 weeks holidays she made a vast improvemrnt.I banned peppa pig,princess whatever and was a real meanie(after much harrassing in short if it was possible to be counting rice on the plate i woild have made her).Her teacher could not get over the progress in 3 weeks. Do i feel bad?A lil.Do i regret it?Not really.Maybe some kids need pushing 6 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 2:42pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
From the article, it appears she is not in Nigeria (probably US or UK). So I'm quite surprised there was no mention of the child seeing a psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation to figure out what exactly the problem is. I don't believe the school psychologists do as comprehensive a job as an independent psychologist would. That would help them figure out how best to help the child attain her maximal capacity and have realistic expectations. I can imagine the mother's frustration though. 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by biolabee(m): 3:05pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ileobatojo: From the article, it appears she is not in Nigeria (probably US or UK). So I'm quite surprised there was no mention of the child seeing a psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation to figure out what exactly the problem is. I don't believe the school psychologists do as comprehensive a job as an independent psychologist would. That would help them figure out how best to help the child attain her maximal capacity and have realistic expectations. Interestingly i agree with you on the eval of the child to help identify latent abilities which a parent would not be able to adjudge Parents shd not look at a child with the same eyes Some children are not meant to be book genuises like their parents are Some kids develop late and have interest in other things that their parent dont care about If Leonardo da Vinci's parent had stifled his creativity, we would not have his drawings today Ditto Bill Gates who left school to pursue his dream Wole Soyinka was adjudged third class and yet hes a Nobel Laureate Tolu Elumelu founded a modern financial empire Some people are latent genius but dyslexic and supposed cant read (but they do in their own way) This is an illustrious list of people who im sure would have been found puzzling by their parents and peers in the growing days If dyslexia is key to being in this group, maybe its not a bad thing to have - Note i am not saying this child is dyslexic (he may or may not be) but that parents should be patient with kids and study them to identify their gifts - Prayerfully commit your child to the Higher Authority (if you believe) and to your logic (fir the other brothers). That child has a purpose and your goal is to help him acheieve it in life - Parents should not live vicariously through their kids.
8 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by damiso(f): 3:51pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I agree Biola and my hubby keeps telling me that academics( the way we were caned into learning times tables )the naija way is not the be all and end all of a childs achievement.I am learning to ease up a lil and stop the comparison. My daughter teacher keeps telling me ease up mummy she is doing well.I guess its just the first child syndrome. Dylesxia in Naija when i was growing up is just an Olodo who could not spell |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by biolabee(m): 4:23pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
damiso: I agree Biola and my hubby keeps telling me that academics( the way we were caned into learning times tables )the naija way is not the be all and end all of a childs achievement.I am learning to ease up a lil and stop the comparison. na so,, u go collect baba nla iya cane jagbajantis until the spirit of dys-wetin run comot for your body but seriously parents are the first indicator of direction for a child's life Observe his interactions among his peers, very important In modern work places, the leaders are not necessarily the most brilliant but those who have the highest emotional intelligence and can get people coordinated to acheive business goals 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by nairaman66(m): 4:26pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I believe it is not a do or die affair! As Parents, appreciate your child for who he/she is as Children are beautiful gifts from God Almighty. Thank God you referred to him/her as a 'Child', you don't know what tomorrow may bring! Wether Intelligient/Dumb, God has a purpose. I have seen cases where intelligent Children became dumb and were crowned a president. I am citing GEJ as a case in point!! . 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:28pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
damiso: I agree Biola and my hubby keeps telling me that academics( the way we were caned into learning times tables )the naija way is not the be all and end all of a childs achievement.I am learning to ease up a lil and stop the comparison.I totally respect your honesty! I'm not a mother, but I would assume my natural reaction would be very similar to yours . I don't advocate trying to make your child "the smartest", but all these "experts" harp on about how fundamental the early years are for a child to grasp basic literacy and numeracy. I'm not sure of the point at which I would say "that is enough, my child has caught up!". That makes me fearful. The better part of me understands that it is probably better to encourage my child to reach their own potential. I hope "my husband" will neutralise the potential inner control freak I feel is emerging . |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by yuzedo: 4:31pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Man! I wonder how family friends feel. You see the parents, handsome husband, beautiful wife, and the kid(s) look like regurgitated amala! I dey always suspect away match with Landlord, Neighbour or Ancestral Spirit! Same applies to intelligence. I start wondering who the child took after mentally. Most often na the mama dey pass on that gene! 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:31pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I belief in prayer nd serious coaching,and with God all things are possibble. 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:31pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
biolabee:This is what I thought when reading the womans tale. I agree 100^1000000%!!!!!! (My own mother probably would scold me for not obeying the rules of true percentages but mummy I choose to express myself in this way ) |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by baby124: 4:32pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Lmao, intelligence cannot be only measured by academics. Focus on nurturing and realising the child's potential It can be music, arts, or social welfare the child will excel in. Quite frankly for the truely intelligent, routine things like classroom and education can be boring and non stimulating. Correct karma though for the writer of the article. This is what happens when you make fun of other's. Your kid may just be dull.lmao. 6 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by yuzedo: 4:33pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Flytefalls: I was reading the following article about one woman's experience and someone commented "The world will always need check-out assistants"FUNNIEST SHITTT I'VE READ THIS YEAR..... LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **real tears** |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:35pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ileobatojo: From the article, it appears she is not in Nigeria (probably US or UK). So I'm quite surprised there was no mention of the child seeing a psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation to figure out what exactly the problem is. I don't believe the school psychologists do as comprehensive a job as an independent psychologist would. That would help them figure out how best to help the child attain her maximal capacity and have realistic expectations.It's UK. Perhaps there is no developmental/learning problem here. Relatively, she may just be on the bottom end of her academic class? It does make me wonder though |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:36pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ileobatojo: From the article, it appears she is not in Nigeria (probably US or UK). So I'm quite surprised there was no mention of the child seeing a psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation to figure out what exactly the problem is. I don't believe the school psychologists do as comprehensive a job as an independent psychologist would. That would help them figure out how best to help the child attain her maximal capacity and have realistic expectations. And how has that helped the tons of academically-disadvantaged(ungifted) people in the UK attain the maximal capacity? Some are just not naturally gifted academically... However, that doesn't mean that they're less intelligent - it has more to do with their cognitive skills... Anyway, I think intelligence is grossly overrated, tbh... 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:37pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
biolabee: Prof. B killed it!! Bro., you've judged the thread - bustaid!!! 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:37pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Flytefalls: It's possible. But in such a case, extra time, extra tutoring and extra effort spent studying the material should help. It won't make the child an expert, but it should help them get by. If all mom's extra effort in teaching the child is not leading to improvement, then it may be time to consider something else. |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:38pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I remember my dad flogging my nyash with belt cos I came 3rd in class at primary school. I later found out that when my dad was at school he was always top of the class. The 1 term he came second, he waylaid the 'ursurper' in the bush and panelbeat the poor guy. My son must be clever or else....Jaguda runs in the family, blud! 1 Like |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:39pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ShyM-X: What do you understand the phrase 'maximal capacity' in the context I used it to mean? |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Chinwem(f): 4:39pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Never give up on your child, by force by fire they will be intelligent Push for it, don't accept ' dyslexia'/ olodo or whatever Pray for them, prophesy into their life I still remember what Ben Carson's mother did for him........read Gifted Hands again 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:39pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Humanoids dwell on stupidity... If your child isn't academically intelligent/gifted - try help the kid discover his/her unique talents from a young age, and focus on that... We are/were all created to function differently on this planet!! 4 Likes |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by simdam500(m): 4:40pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Cant read it all! But to make a say... Let remember change is constant, anybody can change anytime, anyhow. Myself was not brilliant too, but facin humiliation from friends and teachers even disgrace attimes made me grow up... So i wont be suprise if ma child is not brilliant as i am... Smh *wat bout d mother* |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by sureteeboy(m): 4:42pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
Bro, abeg, summarize am |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:43pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ileobatojo: I'm curious to know pls , what? |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:44pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
I still think every child has an outstanding quality about him/her. It may not be academic, but it will surely be there. I worry for my son because he's not as bright as I was at his age. I pray more now, love him and encourage him. He's gradually picking up. When I remember his father side, I'm consoled. |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:45pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ileobatojo: You were alluding the best the girl can do academically... Anyway, what "maximal capacity" are you looking for when the kid has already shown that she isn't academically gifted? It's just pointless and a waste of time, tbh - it's either you have it, or you don't... However, if she had been diagnosed/showing-symptoms of dyslexia - that's another thing entirely... |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:46pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ShyM-X:Indeed, we are! I think with this lady's tale, her fault is that she holds intelligence as a major factor to overall success in life. Even by the end she cannot reason with herself that her daughter will be anything other than not clever. It's sad really |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by biolabee(m): 4:46pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ShyM-X: i am humble sir Flytefalls: LOL... its not easy parents always want to push but know they shd let the brood find their own feet That balance is not very easy |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by biolabee(m): 4:49pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
jackbauerspower: I remember my dad flogging my nyash with belt cos I came 3rd in class at primary school. LOL at jaguda .. ol boy our dad was some old school pa.. imma whoop your azz but that was the older gen - buuku or nada mehn... there are newer techniques of imparting knowlege Some kids may not just be cut out academically |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:51pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Well, at least 3 of those things have been mentioned on this thread. Hearing problems, vision problems can lead to school failure. That has been ruled out by the mother already. Dyslexia, a type of learning disability has also been mentioned; there are several other learning disabilities too apart from that. ADHD is a possibility (possibly inattentive type in this case since there was no mention of hyperactivity). It may just be that the child has low intelligence. That can also be uncovered by a psychologist. There are many other possible medical problems too, thyroid problems, sleep apnea, anemia, lead poisoning e.t.c. The hardest ones to overcome with would be low intelligence (IQ), learning disabilities would also be difficult to overcome. You would need to just find a way around in those cases. |
Re: When Your Child Isn't As Intelligent As You by Nobody: 4:53pm On Apr 23, 2013 |
ShyM-X: Maximal capacity for the particular child's abilities and/or disabilities. Not how to get the child to be first in class. |
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