Sometimes the only people who can tell you what’s what
when it comes to your love life are your friends. They’ve
got perspective on your character, know all your emo soft
spots, and can spot the crazy little things you do that pop
potential love bubbles.
Pity they can’t hang out with you in the bedroom to gently
point out the sex foibles that are dissing your pleasure
game.
That’s why I’m here. And I’m not tryna come down on you,
but there are some things you might be doing that aren’t
cool – not for your bed pal, sure, but most of all not for
you.


1. Putting on a pretense.
Stop faking orgasms and stop pretending to like stuff you
don’t like.
If you’re with partners who expect you to fake it to stroke
their ego, you shouldn’t be shagging them; if you’re faking
because the sex is terrible, stop having that kind of sex;
and if you’re pretending to be into stuff you’re not because
you think you’re expected to act a certain way, then you’re
only doing yourself a disservice.
You’ll never figure out what you really like if you’re too
busy pretending to like what you think someone else likes.


2. Not saying what you need
Unless you’re literally banging a mind reader, you need to
tell your guy what you like and what you want. Expecting
him to know exactly what works for you – and then to do
exactly what works for you perfectly first time – is setting
yourself up for disappointment. Saying that, you don’t need
to be a drill sergeant about it (unless that’s the play, nudge
nudge).
There’s a wide line between saying what you like and
being cruel and critical of your lover’s moves, so it should
be easy to figure it out.


3. Acting out a role.
Sometimes people get so caught up in acting out a role
that they forget to be present. Roles could include being a
shy flower, being the all-knowing sex kitten, the pushy
dominant, the romantic love-maker… Save these one-man
shows for an actual role-playing session.
Rather use all that energy for being emotionally available
and open to the sex you’re having.


4. Comparing.
There is no bigger buzzkill than comparing. That includes
comparing yourself to their previous lovers, or comparing
your present lover to your previous ones. Each
combination of people will create a new and unique
experience.
Your only job is to enjoy the combination you and your
present partner make.


5. Signing out.
Sure, your brain is your biggest sex organ, but it’s also the
biggest shot of novocaine to your genitals if it’s full of
issues. Some people who have gone through trauma
around sex, love and intimacy might ‘switch off’ during
sex, ‘lying back and thinking of England’ while he ‘gets it
over with’.
If this is something you can relate to, you need to ask
questions about why you’re getting naked.


6. Over thinking things.
This is that hyper ‘there-ness’ that keeps you from letting
go and feeling into sensation and enjoying the moment.
It’s overthinking your every move and every moment – ‘Is
this right?’, ‘Is it working?’, ‘Am I doing ok?’, ‘Do I look
ok?’, ‘What is he thinking?’ etc etc. In a way, it’s a form of
signing out from the intimate moment in that your constant
need to control the situation means you don’t have to
actually be emotionally available to the experience.
The minute your brain starts making buzzing noises, take a
moment to slow down the sex and come back to the
moment by focusing on the physical sensations you’re
enjoying.


7. Letting your body issues get in the way of your body
having fun
Ever said you don’t want to try a position because of how
you think you’ll look in it? Stop that shit. Life is too short
and your booty too fine not to have as much fun with it as
you possibly can. If you are with someone who is trying to
make you feel crappy for how your body looks, you
shouldn’t be letting them get naked with it.
Inhibition is a huge passion-killer – for you.


8. Being a passive passenger.
You co-create your sex life culture with your partner, so
take an active role in the process. Initiate sex, use your
imagination, move your body…


9. Getting too comfortable with comfortable.
This is a major shout-out to long-term relationships. Yes,
you can’t be Mata Hari 24/7 and sometimes you need to
chill out in your jammies and fluffy slippers. But I would
argue that your inner sex goddess isn’t going to be getting
herself into a feverish pitch of lust covered head to toe in
flannel.
I know that the conversation around this is usually angled
around what is good ‘for him’, but if you want to access
your sexy for anyone, you can’t lose touch of it for
yourself. Get sensual for you, get sexy for you.


10. Freaking out at suggestions
Don’t jump to conclusions if he suggests something new.
There’s nothing to get defensive about – they’re just
ideas. Unless he’s suggesting a romp with zombie
dolphins or your sister, hear him out fully – without any
eye rolling.
The safer the space, the more you’ll be able to lay your
kinks on the table for discussion.

Lol...every girl is guilty of atleast 6 of these....

ok

Lol. Girls and their pretentious acts in bed.

Imagine the fake acts they put up like the fake orgasm and calling their ex's name during _sex.. Really pisses me off.





EricRichie

boring!

ireneony:
boring!

xup love