I walked majestically into the venue of the interview ,no 17 gucci close off puppihush street, port Harcourt , Rivers state , west Africa at about 9 45am GMT +1 that fateful day. My ears plunged into Small doctor's Penalty.

GBE GBE ri GBE ri GBE , GBE GBE re GBE re GBE ..oya GBE GBE ri GBE ri GBE..if you know get ..... The melodious music blasted into cochlea via my 250 naira white apple earpiece which I have been managing with one ear working for the last two months.


My okrika shoes been dey shine well well, as i polished am well with the combination of kiwi and lude black polish. The previous day i gave God's will cobbler, the shoe maker in front of where I live to mend the front part which had developed tear and potholes like the ilorin- jebba road and the quack cobbler who had probably return from his usual drinking spot after gulping 12 bottle of ogogoro and agbara went ahead to used a brown thread on my black konkon shoe ....Thank GOD for the black polish that I use to manage the situation like Nigeria is managing her president. Only God know how person for day wear that kind shoe about now..


i held Broda tunde 's Ministry of agriculture annual conference suitcase tightly,haven washed it thoroughly. Throughout my journey on the bike, i held tight to the briefcase as if it was my life.. Some ignorant thieves might mistake the briefcase to contain some valuables or money especially considering the way i was elegantly dressed and my overall swagu... Broda tunde warned me severely that the briefcase belonged to his father and it must not be lost nor damaged. me too when am.not mad.. I secured the briefcase and gave it close marking because na their I keep my documents wey resemble the name of mo hits first compilation album.



My vintage tie was exceptionally beautiful... The cream tie with ankara design matched well with my ralph "lurent" shirt that i soaked in starch for three days... Finally , my well ironed trousers and suit which even had standing gaitors coupled with the three different aboki perfs that I released on my body made me very confident concerning my dressing. i don killthe show alreadi with my dressing jor..Even kcee no fit dress pas s this.

..Infact i was feeling myself already.. Too much tools, too much jobs..

, i just couldn't wait for the interview to be over so i could get the job, return the tie to airforce1 , the suit nwamaikpe and shirt and trousers to seun osewa ..I hope seun is not annoyed when I return his clothes because I had to slim fit the trousers that looked like a bag of white beans .. He will forgive me noni. At least if i finally get this job, i will be able to buy all these things on my own and stop borrowing them to every interview. ..I can probably buy the trousers and shirt off from him ma self.

Bike, drop me here..I said to the bikeman as I removed the palm oil stained better life from my pocket and handed it to the okada man..

God be with me....

baddest

This story go sweet and funny.....ride on Classcaptain....

classcaptain where are you oooo

dimexilux:
classcaptain where are you oooo

am here

"
Episode 2


If you know get money, hide your face.." Omo better ye masun .eh ..gbakoyo...yee masun..bere Jo ..GBE GBE ri....


... Awe ,Awe, Mr man , mr man

.I heard a voice call me and at the same time, a pat at the back. I unplugged the earpiece and looked back.

‘haha , oga oo, you are just going in like a fool, is this your fathers house

I was shocked at this obviously unnecessary outburst but as i slowly removed the earpiece from my phone, i kept my calm and quickly observed the homosapiens who had the effrontery to call me a fool. . i noticed that he was in uniform..

"i have been calling you to come , come but the kini you plug at the head iss not allow you to gbo nkan nkan" ".. the Man said harshly,frowning his face as brown saliva trooped out of his brown and kolanut stained dentition.

"I am sorry sir," - i said ,determined not to allow anyone spoil my elated spirit this morning.

‘ sorry for yourself, i even thought you were a staff here, so what are you here for ??
‘ am here for the interview sir , and .......
‘... hmnn hmm, you will know them, coming to an interview with earpiece plugged in, slowpoke..

Hahaa, kini de gan ??

i was starting to get irritated at the way the half baked security man was addressing me but then i remembered i have been searching for a good job for the past 3 years now and am not getting younger .This is still the most delicious offer i have gotten yet.. if i mess up this chance, i may end up like the gateman and start transferring aggression to job seekers in my company .. God forbid .....no, i will keep my peace.

Am sorry sir
Sorry for yourself , just go straight to that building in the center
The white one
No , the pink one, see yeye question
Am sorry sir
Better go before its too late
Thank you sir...

Episode 3


I was on my way to the center building when something crossed my mind.. The man’s behaviour might have been a test ...yes.. a test by the company to test our patience against insults from customers and our bosses and our ability to withstand pressure and be humble.. A smile beamed upon my face immediately.

It seemed like i passed the test .. i was so joyous.. i quickly turned back and went out ,ignoring the security man question of where i was heading to..

By the time i came back , i no come back alone.. I came back with hundred naira fried akara and bread with a chilled coke which i bought from a nearby store. I offered the yeye man who initially refused and threatened to send me out for not replying him when he asked where i was going..

At the end of the day,baba collected the food.

I don't want it to waste ni ooo, dats why oo.. i dont want your money to waste...

No sir, just something to cool off sir.

He then prayed for me to succeed in the interview and emphasized that it is people like me that they want in this company and God should please make them pick me..He told me to quickly join the others in the building as candidates that arrive a minute after 10 will not be attended to.. i quickly thanked him and rushed inside as baba sat down to dismantle the meal.

That singular feat i just did made me extremely happy and confident , it seemed like i had just passed another of the company’s many tests.i was quite sure that the security was a test and an hidden camera might have been set to capture all our acs that day. Ntor, I win una

What a story teller

Lol...issorite we dey here dey look ..
Thumbs up bro we dey follow bumper to bumper



And please mention me when the next update comes up sir.

Lmao..Class captain no go kill person

Class captain ride on.

Na which kain suspense con b dis na?
ClassCaptain,come finish wetin u start oo.
.
.
.
I've been following your previous stories and I must confess that you are a good writer.
.
No forget to mention me in your next episode.

I dey always come this your profile to fine story to read, aswear you're gifted.... btw mention me when you update.

ClassCaptain
Where this man dey?
Come and finish what you started o

kingsamm:
ClassCaptain Where this man dey? Come and finish what you started o

I day around now boss

Just seeing this. Classcaptain, come back o

Present.. . Waiting for more updates. . More knowledge

Episode 4

As expected, i did not meet a lot of people .. This was the grand finale of the job recruitment process and i expected that a lot of people will be dropped .. Nobody knew who was going to be picked in the next stage ... every one that proceeded to this last interview was simply sent a congratulatory text message and date for final interview and venue was included therein.

Out of the 13 candidates that we rocked the last stage together, i could see only four other people here, including me making five.

We greeted each other and congratulated one another on proceeding to the next stage . We got briefed by one of the staffs ... And the interview began in proper .


While I was waiting for the interview , i was busy with my phone rehearsing likely questions and suitable answers , checking Nairaland for interview tips and also wondering what thoughts will be going through Ay's mind right now ,wherever he is ..... obviously he couldn't make it to this final stage and he might blame me for that but o boy ......

WHO CARES ??/



EVERYONE was smiling out of the interview and from my interactions with the interviewed candidates , the question were considerably simple and straightforward .. Some questions about the company , some current affairs question like which country has not seen her president for six months and some questions about the candidate and bla bla bla.

The questions are simple my guy, simple basic questions about the company , your aims, salary and .....

This was the assertion of everyone coming out of the interview


Cup of cake ... i thought to myself....

Dadubule by Skaliey blasted into my ears ,as I glorified the name of the Lord for fighting the battle ahead of me and the fact that I have won already .,,,(.I cannot post the lyrics for obvious reasons ...Alakobas )

......................


Finally it was my turn.. i could see the remaining candidates looking at my swag and feeling me as i bounced in with an A+ confidence. I could see the girls licking like lips and smiling at me like " This cute guy don get this job already " ..


Boo osin..
Yes sir....
Omo this your suit na die.... the interviewer started on a jovial note..

Haa God don butter my bread.

ikra Ka ka

Classcaptain the king of swag

cc lalasticlala, Dominique

Okaakoko:
Classcaptain the king of swag

Final episode in a bit..

Ginger your swaga

ClassCaptain:

Final episode in a bit..
Ginger your swaga

Waiting

oya gbera

Repin' #TeamBooOshin

HawkToBar:
Repin' #TeamBooOshin

Feed me more captain oya con come and finish

Episode 6

Five


And that was how everything started moving smoothly. Basic questions, all those ish they said on nairaland, how much salary and everything i rehearsed for.. They were all so amazed at my level of know how and it was almost a sure yes for me.

As dem dey ask, I dey give them left right center hot hot..I knew that the interviewers were indeed satisfied ..


We were almost concluding the interview when a strange brown coloured cockroach appeared from nowhere.

What is that
A cockroach.. the 2nd interviewer stated..

Leave it , haha .. let us round with Mr boo osin ..
No no no... lets kill it please

I was already vibrating where i sat down as i stared at the monstrous cockroach.

Please lets kill it.
.
The interviewer was about standing up to kill the insect when the other guy called him back

No no no, mr boo please kill the insect for us...
Sir !!!!
Please help us kill the insect..
I cant do it sir ..
Are you joking or kidding us ?? the man asked seriously

I cant sir..

They looked at each other truthfully shocked..

You see,, i was...

I couldn't finish my statement when the giant black cockroach flew towards my direction and i let out the loudest scream i ever made in a long while , shifting away totally from my chair and trashing the table papers right in their faces. The look on their faces was the most bizarre reaction i have seen in years..

"Yee..yee.yee"

I said as i ran around the room trying to avoid the cockroach as the interviewers looked on.. Not untill the interviewer stood and smashed the cockroach with his shoe.

I heaved a sigh of relief obviously embarrassed by my recent idiotic behaviour.

I can explain ,, i can explain... that was all i could say as i looked into the eyes of the interviewers to see if I can get some understanding some from them.

Final.Episode in A bit

really?