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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! (32602 Views)
My Fiancee Ask Me To Slow Things Down - I don't know what to do / I'm About To Break Up My Relationship Of 3 Years Due To Indecent Dressing / Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink (2) (3) (4)
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My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Lukmanraji(m): 4:11pm On May 14 |
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically. Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf. So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep. I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there. To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately. So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me. Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person. After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue. Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me. I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken. I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you. 29 Likes 8 Shares
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Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Jaycobbs(m): 4:27pm On May 14 |
At the risk of stating the obvious: 1. She's done with you 2. You deserve someone better 3. You need to respect your relationship and keep things clean with other ladies Nigga, dem no tie your placenta to this woman. There's over three billion women in this world. 3,000,000,000!!! Chances are, you'll find one that respects you if you can wipe your tears and remove your eyes from this one. 424 Likes 34 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Skiborobo(f): 4:29pm On May 14 |
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Hezzyluv: 4:29pm On May 14 |
Even from the first paragraph alone, Marrying her will make you lose your sanity. Because, no more love "see finish" has entered already. So, what's the basis of pushing But, regardless of the advice we give you here, you have already made up your mind and will SIMply Mary her come what may. Congratulations in advance you hear..? You go dey share her with another man sha. But, no wahala. Afterall, polyandry didn't start from you. 150 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Lonestar124: 4:30pm On May 14 |
Move on bro, abi you want to ask your grandfather this time to beg her on your behalf Ndi love 172 Likes 17 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Sonnobax15(m): 4:34pm On May 14 |
Op, house boy no dey get calendar!!!!! If she say she's done with you, just let her go..... Your first mistake was trying to make the relationship work even when it was very obvious she was done with you..... Na wa 110 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Namaster: 4:34pm On May 14 |
You begged. Your brother begged. Your father begged. Dude, your simpleness is GENERATIONAL. No hope for you. 372 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Sapiens3: 4:37pm On May 14 |
7yrs? What kind of relationship is that? 57 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Sapiens3: 4:38pm On May 14 |
Namaster: Maybe when his pastor will beg she will retrace back 99 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Lonestar124: 4:41pm On May 14 |
Jaycobbs:How people fall in love deeply like this, is what I cannot understand. Especially as a man, I grow up with this mentality that what will happen will happen, and what will not happen will never happen even if the mistake is coming from me, I accept the outcome the way it is.. Emotionally, this is how men supposed to be. 169 Likes 21 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by tubolancer(m): 4:42pm On May 14 |
She has enjoyed everything she wanted from you, she couldn't risk going to another level with you, she had it all but you...... I pity you, have a deep breath and move on, you have experienced Eve. 47 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ForValour: 4:43pm On May 14 |
Be reasonable. You used your entire family to beg your gf. Do you want to force her to marry you? 129 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Zonefree(m): 4:43pm On May 14 |
Namaster:Imagine sending his younger brother and father to beg a Nigerian girlfriend My problem is with the father. Why should an old man condescend that low? He's in the position to instill self love to his son, but he failed. I won't be happy having my sister marry into a family like that. Tueh! 129 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Lonestar124: 4:47pm On May 14 |
Hezzyluv:Maybe man pikin don spend tire on top of the girl, you do not see where he wrote he nurture her right from university..the op never tell us wetin dey pain am most in this issue 72 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Double0h7(f): 4:48pm On May 14 |
You had seven years to love, respect, and honour her but from the look of things you didn’t do that. If you have cheated on her and broke down her love then the tank is empty. You don’t decide one day that you will be a different man; a responsible man, when you had seven years to prove that and you didn’t. She’s found someone who she can start again with. There’s too much water under the bridge. You finished her love and all that’s left now is resentment for you. She doesn’t trust you because you’ve shown her time after time that you are not loyal or trustworthy. She finally grew up. 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Jaycobbs(m): 4:49pm On May 14 |
Lonestar124: Love dey make people mumu o. I've been in love before. But— this one isn't even about being in love. Nigga has lost his self-respect. Like. Totally lost it. 67 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Lukmanraji(m): 4:51pm On May 14 |
. 2 Likes |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by DaddyRochie1642: 4:52pm On May 14 |
You were cheating and you were caught and she was forming heartbreak, not knowing that the person that caught you was also cheating in the shadows all along and was forming heartbreak . That guy that she is chatting with online is also chatting with other Ladies online and you're here weeping and gnashing your teeth, Oga to slap you dey hungry me, You're here lamenting about the sacrifices you made for the woman when the love dey scatter ya head, now your eyes have cleared Now, better open that your large ears and open that your coconut head and pay attention to my words of wisdom, Never ever put a woman above you in this life, I can already tell that you are a bloody simp, You placed that woman above you all through your years of dating that's why she doesn't regard you and showers the other guy with respect and she treats him Better than she treats you. Now you have learnt the hard way, women despise bloody simps, If you had played your role well from the beginning as the man and head of his relationship, that your woman will dare not pick your phone in the first place to read any useless chat,.... Even if she reads your chat, and See's your dirty chat, when she sees and reads them, she will sit up because she now knows that she has competition that will compete with her for you. You placed that woman above you from the beginning of your relationship with her, Hope you have learnt your lesson, Hope you won't be a bloody simp in your next relationship 90 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ogashman(m): 5:01pm On May 14 |
Oga move on.....if u succeed in winning her over and eventually marry her, then u will continue begging her in marriage. 73 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Mentholated: 5:05pm On May 14 |
Move on with your life. She double dated for a while and has made her decision. If God was to open your eyes now to see how you look in front of that girl, you will respect yourself. You are now a complete nuisance to her. If you ever marry this girl, you will be miserable. Use this opportunity to RUN before she changes her mind and your family blackmails you into accepting her back. 55 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by finallybusy: 5:08pm On May 14 |
Somebody should teach me how to do long relationships. After I chook prick once, love don reduce. By the fifth encounter, I need a new face to warm my bed. 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Dyfynezz12(m): 5:13pm On May 14 |
How do u date a girl 4 seven yrs Girls clock is not the same with guys,nd that girl knows that reason y she is keeping her options open. U definitely sowed the seed of doubt in her mind when u started flirting with another girl. When a woman says NO,it's probably No forever (R-Kelly),as a man dnt beg a woman to accept u back after a breakup cox u 're delaying the inevitable, if u do she will be worse. U have definitely lost that girl,it will be painful but count ur losses nd move on,dnt force her nd don't appear miserable nd desperate cox she might accept out of pity nd u will suffer. 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ForValour: 5:14pm On May 14 |
Lukmanraji:Nonsense defence 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 5:16pm On May 14 |
Go and ask the elders in your village to come and beg her. I don't know what's wrong with some of you. 24 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ruggedtimi(m): 5:19pm On May 14 |
"MY GIRLFRIEND" 5 Likes |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by tiswell(m): 6:49pm On May 14 |
I hate to see stvpid simps and their threads. When y'all gonna learn? 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Caspry5: 6:51pm On May 14 |
7 years. I think this relationship has been through the university and nysc stage with one or two years of ASUU strike . I don't really advice women doing long term relationships. It's never in their favour if it goes south. She should move on with her life. You are not ready to do the needful. You should get a new banny. You have nothing to lose too 19 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Pennywise2: 6:58pm On May 14 |
Easy to say move on. But the real cause be say they don jazz her. Unless you pray or wait another 7 years |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by GreenDee(f): 7:03pm On May 14 |
Seven years is not easy sha, but you have to let it go. When relationships starts bringing a lot of drama, it tends to affect your mental health and sanity, endure the pain and try to move on.. talking through experience. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Harddiskng(m): 7:12pm On May 14 |
Oga. Move on! Even before you started your main story i know she don fin another bobo. Leave her alone, if she ever comes back in the future; never take her back. 42 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by TheWinterBird: 7:12pm On May 14 |
You were cheating on her if you were talking dirty with another female but you're here forming victim. I wouldn't be surprised if you've met up with this person or other women, or dated other women in the so-called 7-year relationship with this girl. Neither of you are saints, but you're the epitome of pot calling kettle black. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by UcheKingsley1: 7:22pm On May 14 |
Fvck your relationship, make money bruh She can go down, but let your money go up, Middle finger to your bitchh. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
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