If you really want to become a confident speaker, say goodbye to these 10 habits


Ever wondered what sets confident speakers apart from the rest?

It’s often not about skill, but about habits.

Some habits can quietly chip away at your confidence, making you seem less capable than you truly are.

If you want to become a confident speaker, it’s time to let go of these habits, even if they’ve been with you for years.

In this article, I’ll walk you through the top 10 habits you need to break.

Let’s get started.

1) Filler words


One of the biggest barriers standing between you and confident speaking is the overuse of filler words.

We all do it. Those little “um’s”, “uh’s”, “like’s”, and “you know’s” that sneak into our speech more often than we’d care to admit. They might seem harmless, but they can significantly undermine your authority and confidence as a speaker.

The problem with these filler words is that they distract your audience and dilute your message. They make you seem unsure, less knowledgeable, and less confident.

If you’re serious about enhancing your speaking confidence, it’s time to consciously start eliminating these filler words from your speech. It won’t happen overnight, but with practice and awareness, you can significantly reduce their frequency.

And believe me, once you start speaking without these unnecessary fillers, you’ll sound more articulate, more confident, and more credible to your audience.


2) Speaking too fast
I’ll confess, this was a habit I had to kick myself.

There was a time when I would speak at lightning speed, especially in nerve-wracking situations. I thought that if I spoke quickly, I would get through the presentation faster and hence face less scrutiny from my audience.

People who stay mentally sharp in their retirement usually adopt these 7 daily habits
But I was wrong.

Speaking too fast can be a major barrier to effective and confident communication. Your message becomes unclear, your audience struggles to keep up, and worst of all, it broadcasts your nervousness loud and clear.

Once I realized this, I started consciously slowing down my speech. It was hard at first, but over time it started feeling more natural. And the difference was like night and day! My audience began engaging more, my messages were clearer, and most importantly, I started feeling more confident while speaking.

3) Neglecting body language
Did you know that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal? That means what you don’t say can be just as important, if not more so, than what you do say.

Body language is a silent orchestra that provides context, emotion, and meaning to your spoken words. If you’re slouched, fidgeting or avoiding eye contact while speaking, it doesn’t matter how well-crafted your words are. Your body language is shouting out a lack of confidence.

Confident speakers harness the power of body language. They stand tall, make eye contact, and use open gestures. If you want to join their ranks, start paying attention to your nonverbal cues. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and keep your gestures open and relaxed. Your confidence will thank you for it!

4) Over-reliance on notes
Look, I get it. Notes can be a safety blanket when you’re speaking. They help ensure you don’t forget anything important and can provide a sense of security.

But over-reliance on notes can become a crutch that hinders your speaking confidence. Constantly looking at your notes disconnects you from your audience and makes it harder to engage with them. Plus, it can make you seem less confident and less knowledgeable about your topic.

Confident speakers use notes as a guide, not a script. They know their material well enough that they can speak naturally and fluidly, referring to their notes only occasionally for key points or statistics.

If you want to boost your speaking confidence, start working on reducing your reliance on notes. Practice speaking about your topic without constantly referring to your notes. It might be challenging at first, but with time, you’ll notice a significant boost in your confidence and presentation skills.

5) Overcomplicating the message
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that using complex language and jargon will make you sound more intelligent and confident. But in reality, it often has the opposite effect.

When your message is complicated or filled with technical jargon, your audience may struggle to understand what you’re saying. This can lead to confusion, disengagement, and can undermine your credibility as a speaker.

Confident speakers know the power of simplicity. They focus on clarity and understandability, using simple, everyday language to convey their ideas. They know that the ability to explain complex concepts in a simple way is a hallmark of deep understanding and confidence.


Cut out unnecessary jargon, use clear and concise language, and make sure your ideas are easy for anyone to understand.

6) Avoiding vulnerability
Many of us believe that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness, especially when we’re in the spotlight. We think that to be a confident speaker, we must project an image of perfection, never admitting to our mistakes or insecurities.

But let me assure you, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Embracing vulnerability can be one of the most powerful ways to connect with your audience and boost your confidence. It shows your audience that you’re human, just like them. It makes you more relatable and trustworthy.

I’ve seen it time and again – the most impactful speakers are those who aren’t afraid to share their struggles, their fears, and their journey. They understand that their power lies not in their perfection, but in their authenticity.


Don’t shy away from being vulnerable when you speak. Share your stories, express your emotions, and don’t be afraid to show your true self. It might feel scary at first, but believe me, the connection you’ll build with your audience will be worth it. And as a bonus, you’ll feel more confident and authentic in your speaking.

7) Neglecting the power of pause
I used to be terrified of silence. In my early days of public speaking, I would rush through my speech, fearing that any pause would be perceived as a mistake or a loss of train of thought.

But over time, I realized that pausing is an essential tool in effective communication. It allows your audience time to absorb what you’ve said, adds emphasis to important points, and can even build suspense and interest.

Now, I consciously incorporate pauses into my speeches. And let me tell you, it’s been a game changer. Not only do these moments of silence allow me to gather my thoughts and breathe, but they also make my message more impactful.

Start experimenting with it in your own speaking and see how it enhances your delivery and boosts your confidence.


.8 Trying to eliminate all nerves
Here’s a secret: Even the most confident speakers get nervous. The butterflies, the sweaty palms, the racing heart – we’ve all been there.

Many people think that confidence means never feeling nervous. But that’s not the case. Confidence isn’t about eliminating nerves, it’s about learning to manage them and channel them into energy for your presentation.

Nerves can actually be a good thing. They show that you care about what you’re saying and can give you the adrenaline boost needed to deliver a passionate, engaging speech.

So instead of trying to banish your nerves completely, focus on strategies to manage them. Deep breathing, visualization, and positive self-talk can all help turn your nerves into an asset rather than an obstacle.

Believe me, once you stop fighting your nerves and start embracing them, you’ll find your confidence as a speaker skyrocketing.


9) Ignoring your audience
Confident speaking isn’t just about delivering a great speech, it’s also about engaging with your audience. It’s easy to get so caught up in what you’re saying that you forget to pay attention to the people you’re speaking to.

But ignoring your audience can be a big mistake. It can make you seem detached and uninterested, and can prevent you from connecting with your listeners.

Confident speakers understand the importance of audience engagement. They maintain eye contact, respond to audience reactions, and adjust their delivery based on the audience’s response.

Look for your audience’s reactions, adjust your pace and tone based on their responses, and don’t be afraid to interact with them. Your audience will appreciate your engagement and you’ll feel more confident as a speaker.

10) Not practicing enough
There’s a saying: “Practice makes perfect.” And when it comes to confident speaking, it couldn’t be more accurate.

No matter how talented a speaker you are, without regular practice, your skills and confidence will likely stagnate. Practicing helps you familiarize yourself with your content, refine your delivery, and become more comfortable with public speaking.

Make practice a non-negotiable part of your speaking routine. Whether it’s in front of a mirror, with a trusted friend, or through a video recording, regular practice is the key to becoming a more confident speaker.

MMempire:
This OP is a writer and not a speaker.

wonder233:
Nice tips... The nerves can be quite unsettling tho.. I think what OP meant to say about nerves is that "there is nothing you can do about them"
What can help is to look at some members of the audience and say to yourself "shey na this John wey no get head I go dey nervous for?" it helps

MMempire:
This OP is a writer and not a speaker.

Omotaday:
Very informative. Thanks

Omotaday:
Very informative. Thanks

ayolayo0405:
So apt

musicwriter:
The only way to be confident while speaking is to know what you're talking about. Disregard other suggestions, no matter who's your "life coach"

kenny714433:


Reminds me of when I was doing students politics in school..

So after spending just 2 times trying to practice my manifesto in the mirror, I murdered the speech and felt like little Julius Ceasar.

The D day came, I mounted the podium and boom, the first mistake.

I looked into the crowd and spotted so many people who held me in high esteem, including those extremely intelligent VIPs who came to listen to what I'll say 😳

It seems they just formatted my brain abi na jazz? 🥲 "Start with your name", the MC tried to put me on track... My name is General Secretary... I stuttered..

The resounding laughter was enough message telling me that I fvcked up.

In a flash, I gained maximum confidence and was killing it.. 😅 But I'd already spent 3 minutes balabluing and sweating.

optm:

GanagiBitrus:

wonder233:
Nice tips... The nerves can be quite unsettling tho.. I think what OP meant to say about nerves is that "there is nothing you can do about them"
What can help is to look at some members of the audience and say to yourself "shey na this John wey no get head I go dey nervous for?" it helps

Meti99:

But na him picture be that nah