Please this goes out to all the married peeps out there. How was your first year of marriage? Was it the toughest, easiest, normal, how was it? Did you face any problems? How did you resolve them? In short how was your experience in the first year of your marriage?

Your contribution will be appreciated.

best time of my life, still feel a warm sensation when i remember, plenty plenty rocking, fun fun fun, discovering new parts of the house and every place we could have s3x. Hang out, was so happy, no responsibilites, proved my fertility. the down side was discovering I married a man who loved to litter, clean the house 10times he will litter it, was annoying at first but learnt not to bother too much and to let him be him. Also learnt it was okay to disagree with my husband, he loves a good disagreement and make up s3x. baby arrived within the first year, that was the year of total crowining. faithful dependable God, when i look back at that year I cant help but give God all praise and adoration, who would have ever thought that me miserable me will be happy and smiling again.

debrief08: best time of my life, still feel a warm sensation when i remember, plenty plenty rocking, fun fun fun, discovering new parts of the house and every place we could have s3x. Hang out, was so happy, no responsibilites, proved my fertility. the down side was discovering I married a man who loved to litter, clean the house 10times he will litter it, was annoying at first but learnt not to bother too much and to let him be him. Also learnt it was okay to disagree with my husband, he loves a good disagreement and make up s3x. baby arrived within the first year, that was the year of total crowining. faithful dependable God, when i look back at that year I cant help but give God all praise and adoration, who would have ever thought that me miserable me will be happy and smiling again.

Oh WOW!!! Good one dear.

Your view is appreciated maam, I was looking forward to your reply.

Got married Dec 4. First half was amazing. Second half, reality crawled in. No hard feelings though, we are both maturing in marriage. Lol

It was hell, the only good thing was my girls nd my head that came out of it. I also appreciate others wonderful experience nd i expect to have a blissfull one in my next marriage ( if there wud be any)

Unfortunately, mine wasn't rosy at first.
Even after dating for a few years, marriage was still a different ball game.

Felt i had made a mistake after a few weeks.
Kept spending so much time talking with my mum on the phone and she always used to laugh at me.

After a while i started learning what it really meant to be married.
All my fantasies were replaced by reality.

Now, after more than a decade i feel so much more happier than my first few months.
If i reincarnate (assuming there is such a thing) i will do it all over again with the same man without looking back.

It was not much fun actually. Sure, we were in love, innocent and a bit overconfident... but we also argued a lot, doubted, were scared about that BIG commitment, I think my husband was actually way more mature than I was (as usual ), I had heard so many scary stories about marriages going sour that I was on watch 24/7 for any sign of deterioration... It took well over a year to get over those fears, and the older the marriage gets, the happier I am.

Miss_Ife: It was not much fun actually. Sure, we were in love, innocent and a bit overconfident... but we also argued a lot, doubted, were scared about that BIG commitment, I think my husband was actually way more mature than I was (as usual ), I had heard so many scary stories about marriages going sour that I was on watch 24/7 for any sign of deterioration... It took well over a year to get over those fears, and the older the marriage gets, the happier I am.

My dear i was in the same shoes as you were, I don't know why i felt the way i did, immediately i got married, for some reasons i felt i had made the wrong choice (maybe because i had few guys that wanted to marry me then too), but i had this thing'' when i was much younger that '' i would marry the person i told my inner most secret that no-one knew) and my hubby was the one, then he was just a friend, and i divulged everything to him, he was just giving me so many signs that this is just the right man for me, then we got into a relationship which was rosy and beautiful, though we argued alot.
But that 1st year was just the most difficult for me, i was beginning to find it difficult to really love him, it was just so different, i would snap at every little thing, but i kept on praying that this should pass, because this was not how i envisioned my marraige to be, all the problem we had was from me.

my hubby loves me so much, he was just patient with me, and i started loving the man i married, infact, i was seeing all the good sides of him, how much he cares for me, (he tells me how much he loves me at least 4 times a week, since we got married, very demanding though, he wants to always be with me, on the phone with me 24/7, my lunch time at work is not free ooo, we have to talk ni oooo, even if am taking a nap, he would want to be on the phone, am grateful to God, i was patient enough during the first years of marraige to start reaping the benefits now, wouldn't have made a better choice.

@ronke : I can recognize myself in what you say too I remember, during this first year my first prayer point was to "learn to love my husband more". I also had a guy who was after me and kind of proposed more or less at the same time as my hubby, I know he was not the right one for me, and I don't regret my decision at all, but at that time it was sometimes not easy to reason, I was scared to make a mistake. Plus, my husband and I didn't know each other that well at that time, getting married was a leap of faith, literally. I truly thank God for he has answered my prayers, and I love my husband more everyday.

I like threads like this one, because as a newlywed I expected everything to be perfect, filled with love and passion, and it was not always the case. Nobody ever told me the first year could be challenging. I hope it will give strength to those going through those "1st year adjustments" so that their marriages will last and get stronger.

threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

Spent in bed.From the bedroom to the hospital bed,back to the bedroom with 2 boys to mother.

My second year of marriage was so much fun.

davidylan: threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

What a news !

You'll be fine, don't worry, pls, don't forget to send us invitation

Twas just another box to tick on my "to do" list. Asides from the big responsibilities that mostly falls on the woman (juggling with dealing with the man-child and the children and trying to remember one also has a life), its no big deal, phew.

Now where is that list to review and get myself ready for what is next - bungeejumping

ifyalways: Spent in bed.From the bedroom to the hospital bed,back to the bedroom with 2 boys to mother.

My second year of marriage was so much fun.

Hhehehhehe some of the replies are really funny and very realitic.

I'm so crazy in love right now and the beauty of ours is we both serving our country.
When ngba uku is done, i don't know if i will be bringing him wine again.
Nwata!

David,
You will be alright. One day at a time nwa mama.

Wasn't fun at all. It actually hit me right in the face that I couldn't just get up and leave after an argument. I loved my space and then I realised that ooops, I will be sharing my space with someone else. It even took me a lot of time to answer people that called me by my husbands last name, cos I was too used to my own father's name. I used to cook when I want to and felt like it but the minute I got married, na must to cook ooo.

We dated for less than year so it was difficult for me cos my first year of marriage was trying to get to know him better.


@Hauwa
Are you in the army?

I dated my husband in a long distance relationship , although i saw him every month. My first year of marriage was not what I planned. But I learned patience and discovered how much I loved my husband and how I could go through anything for him. He also said he gained a lot of respect for me in that first yr of marriage. The day after our wedding, his mum moved in with us and stated for 6months, coupled with the fact that I was working at a job I hated. It felt like the first 6months ,our marriage was on hold. ( my husband knows his mum was not fair) but we decided to not make a big deal about it, since we had the rest of our lives to live. We did not go for our honeymoon until after she left. So our marriage really started 6months after and it has been bliss since then. Although MIlL came and stayed a total of 12 months in the first 18months of our marriage.. We no send her, we decided to not put our marriage on hold for her for anymore. It has been almost 3yrs since she last visited, we moved far from her. (I like her sha but it was getting too much)

Five Months in and going steady, no quarrels at all, both of us respects each other, i have grown to know her for 5 yrs before wedding and i know when she is about to get in a mood and how to handle it, then she has stopped all those things that use to frustrate me during the courtship which has made it also very smooth for us, tho she told me she throws those tantrums, because she misses me and wants to get my attention. Now she has my full attention 24 hours and all those things have fizzled away.

Its been a beautiful 6 months, though i miss going out to watch my matches in the midst of all the crazy football fans and talking myself hoarse, she has banned it.

Ladies over to you :p

davidylan: threads like this are good for those of us on the sidelines. The only reason i havent married now is because of paralyzing fear . . . fear that i might make a mistake, fear that she may not be the one, that i may stop loving her after a few yrs.
I have learnt in the last couple of yrs that indeed no woman is perfect, that the type of woman we envision in our heads exists only in the realm of fantasy, that loving someone is not so much a feeling as it is a conscious decision, that you know you truly love a woman when she has the ability to change your outlook on life and you find yourself developing an uncommon patience for her many flaws, that communication is even more essential to a marriage than s[i]e[/i]x!

So in the interest of my mother's emotional stability, i have decided to be married in the next 18 months max.

i had a good laugh at "in the interest of my mother's emotional stability", well said though, well said

camrygmail: I dated my husband in a long distance relationship , although i saw him every month. My first year of marriage was not what I planned. But I learned patience and discovered how much I loved my husband and how I could go through anything for him. He also said he gained a lot of respect for me in that first yr of marriage. The day after our wedding, his mum moved in with us and stated for 6months, coupled with the fact that I was working at a job I hated. It felt like the first 6months ,our marriage was on hold. ( my husband knows his mum was not fair) but we decided to not make a big deal about it, since we had the rest of our lives to live. We did not go for our honeymoon until after she left. So our marriage really started 6months after and it has been bliss since then. Although MIlL came and stayed a total of 12 months in the first 18months of our marriage.. We no send her, we decided to not put our marriage on hold for her for anymore. It has been almost 3yrs since she last visited, we moved far from her. (I like her sha but it was getting too much)

yea, mother in-law is usually bad and not fair as long as she is not your own mum who is usually an angel to you and bad for the husband. Bottom line is: learning to live with a new person is never as living with someone you know very well.

Learning..

So much knowledge for me.

One of the most insightful threads I've seen on Nairaland.

Kudos to the OP.

i like ds thread

my first year was terrible because i felt i still got that same freedom i used to have before the wedding when i realised that then adjustment start and some of my x dont want to hear anytrhing like me not seeing them not acceptable,it was really challenging but now i thank God am able to control all those things,i cant even stand/think of dating any chick i feel a sense of responsibility now

married guys please share ypur experience, make we wey dey fear to marry learn

[b]Twas just another box to tick on my "to do" list. Asides from the big responsibilities that mostly falls on the woman (juggling with dealing with the man-child and the children and trying to remember one also has a life), [/b]its no big deal, phew.

Now where is that list to review and get myself ready for what is next - bungeejumping

I relate to this, and it is a big deal!!!

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