So a friend of mine has been having issues with what he termed ladies being quick to rush him into the marriage direction.
He broke up with an ex because 2 months after they met, the lady started talking about being with him forever and all that. My friend got spooked and told the lady that he was not interested in marriage and that it does not figure in his plans at all. Understandably, the lady took it the wrong way and they broke up.

Recently, he meets another girl and they have a mutual liking for each other. My friend told me he was slow to commit to a relationship for fear of the girl seeking marriage as an end. He said he informed the girl that he liked her and all that but that he does not want a relationship now but the girl was like they should give it a shot. Well, he tells me now that the girl just informed him yesterday that she would like to know where she fits in his plans and if she does, how she can help him achieve it rather than compete with them. I think this is a noble thought on the girl's part but my friend is having non of it because of his aversion to marriage.

Needless to say, my friend is a bit irritated because it seems to him like he can't just be in a relationship with a lady no more without their wanting it to be defined along marriage lines in the short run.

However, he needs to respond to this girl and wants the most diplomatic answer possible because (1)Marriage is not part of his plans for the foreseeable future and (2) He likes this girl and wants the best way to convey this message to her without hurting her so she can move on.

Thanks for your contributions

Your friend, your friend......well tell your friend to get lost.

Before I reply, the OP has to admit that he and his friend are the same person.

your friend needs to open his mouth from the start by letting these women know that he is not trying to be married soon.

Tell him to decide if (1) he just want to date casually or (2) if he is looking to date one person while waiting to see if she would be the one.

if he is about option 1 then he needs to quickly break it off with this new girl and not waste her time any longer.
if he goes with option 2 then he can tell the girl that he likes her, but he would like to take it slow to see where things go. It's only been a couple of months and they still need to really get to know each other. Just because you get some azz from a girl doesn't mean that you automatically have to start planning your future together

Op
Who is dat ur friend self?

omega25red: your friend needs to open his mouth from the start by letting these women know that he is not trying to be married soon.

Tell him to decide if (1) he just want to date casually or (2) if he is looking to date one person while waiting to see if she would be the one.

if he is about option 1 then he needs to quickly break it off with this new girl and not waste her time any longer.
if he goes with option 2 then he can tell the girl that he likes her, but he would like to take it slow to see where things go. It's only been a couple of months and they still need to really get to know each other. Just because you get some azz from a girl doesn't mean that you automatically have to start planning your future together

Thanks buddy. Will do

Mynd_44: Before I reply, the OP has to admit that he and his friend are the same person.

Dude, I would have said it was me if it were so. It's childish hiding behind third party pronouns.

Sijo01: Your friend, your friend......well tell your friend to get lost.

It is not compulsory to post. You don't have to be rude.

Beowulf:

It is not compulsory to post. You don't have to be rude.

u call dat rudeness dude....o o, sorwie.

It is a good thing that he's always been honest with them and there's nothing more to do really, than to continue being honest. But trust me, relationships need certain kinds of nurturing to last. A little fluffing of the truth every once in a while will not be a bad thing to do. He doesn't always have to be so blantant when he tells about his plans or lack of them thereof, or he's going to maintain his single status for a looooong period of time.

Everyone has got their own goals in life. While marriage may be the ultimate prize in a relationship for some, it isn't the same for others. So for the majority that take this as a priority, he would come across as selfish and as one who wants to just waste their time and seperate them from their goal...which they're infact entitled to.

Answering these questions should be done subtly. He should make them see that there's a need to get really acquainted with each other and that everything will fall in place with time. Give them hope...a reason to want to try. That shouldn't be too hard to do. Brutality will get him no where.

And of cos, the epiphany will eventually come someday, when he's gonna have his rude awakening as to why he's not ready and actually feel ready. So then, what is he gonna do? Walk into his farm and pluck himself a wife? No. Now is best to start working at having one.

One of the qualities of a REAL MAN IS OBJECTIVITY....women dont mind EVEN IF U TELL THEM TO BE A SECOND WIFE...BUT keeping a woman in USELESS STUPID unreasonable SUSPENCE is realli juvenile...SO PLS like u have been adviced by

Sijo01: Your friend, your friend......well tell your friend to get lost.

TELL ur self...oops your FICTIONAL Jagged as.ss friend to TRULY GET LOSTTTTT!!!!!

Rocktation: It is a good thing that he's always been honest with them and there's nothing more to do really, than to continue being honest. But trust me, relationships need certain kinds of nurturing to last. A little fluffing of the truth every once in a while will not be a bad thing to do. He doesn't always have to be so blantant when he tells about his plans or lack of them thereof, or he's going to maintain his single status for a looooong period of time.

Everyone has got their own goals in life. While marriage may be the ultimate prize in a relationship for some, it isn't the same for others. So for the majority that take this as a priority, he would come across as selfish and as one who wants to just waste their time and seperate them from their goal...which they're infact entitled to.

Answering these questions should be done subtly. He should make them see that there's a need to get really acquainted with each other and that everything will fall in place with time. Give them hope...a reason to want to try. That shouldn't be too hard to do. Brutality will get him no where.

And of cos, the epiphany will eventually come someday, when he's gonna have his rude awakening as to why he's not ready and actually feel ready. So then, what is he gonna do? Walk into his farm and pluck himself a wife? No. Now is best to start working at having one.

Thanks Rockstation! I will prolly invite the guy to come read your contribution himself. Makes a load of sense.

Gabriel_sylar: One of the qualities of a REAL MAN IS OBJECTIVITY....women dont mind EVEN IF U TELL THEM TO BE A SECOND WIFE...BUT keeping a woman in USELESS STUPID unreasonable SUSPENCE is realli juvenile...SO PLS like u have been adviced by
TELL ur self...oops your FICTIONAL Jagged as.ss friend to TRULY GET LOSTTTTT!!!!!

Glad you got that out of your system. Got any more gibberish to spout?

3

I think Rocktation has given very sound counsel, I couldn't have said it any better.

chaircover: He should date younger girls who are not ready for marriage

Abi? Those early 20 girls would do.




Frawzey.

wat ur friend needs is fone book of love peddlers in his city.