Hi people,

I got a problem I need u guys assistantance for. This is about the girl I wish I could build my relationship with, which unfortunately didn't happen.

Now I have gotten into another relationship and I am quite satisfied with it. Now, me thinking that everything is now put to past, ther she came from the blues as you might call it, telling me what she feels about me and everything saying that maybe I didn't feel anything for her and so.

My Heart was deeply touched by waht she said and I don't want to break the new girl's heart saying I want a breakup cos I have seen someone else.

Guys what should I do .

do you mean the girl that you loved but couldn't stay now wants you back? well don't let her ruin things between u and your new girlfreind because it is not fair as she hasn't gone wrong anywhere but if you are not sincerely happy being with her you can let her go now so that you don't find yourself flirting with the obvious one.

I second her. Go for her man. . . but break up nicely.

Well, do you think I should go back for her if I still feel anything for her whiteroses.

OR should I stick with the new Girl.

I got a problem I need u guys assistantance for. This is about the girl I wish I could build my relationship with, which unfortunately didn't happen.

why didnt it happen? did she refuse U or something? if not n U thk u still feel something for her more than U do for the other girl then i thk wait a sec why would she tell U this now, when she knws ya goin out wit someone else   someone u really love n is happy to be wit 

i would advise u to stay with the new girl
ok and forget about the former girl,if u dont want somebody that will ruin ur life

if you like the first girl better accept her and break up with the new girl because you have to do the best thing for yourself don't stay puzzled because you don't want to break someone's heart dis is about you and not the new girl. if you stay with the new girl it's not very sincere you know and it's worse.

Why did the relationship not hold in the first place? Did she refuse you or she gave excuses? If she gave excuses and now she has overcome those excuses, and you like her more than the new girl, then go for her. But if she refused you, maybe she had or wanted some one else and you know this, please don't break away from your new girl.

hey no 2 much yans,

i think u shud stick with ur new girl!

cuz if d other girl didnt have a genuine reason 4 leavin you,

if u go back she cud do it again!

Actually, I didn't approach the girl cos I thought she might not want to go into a relationship with me.So I dumbed the idea.

Now, I don't know if I am at all regreting what I did or not.

That is why I need ur help u all, do u think I should go back to my past fate.

From what I have been reading from here, looks like a lot of Naija chicks are really confused and don't know what they want.
When a guy is single they don't want him, when he is happy with some one else or the girls go after the men that flash a bit of cash and get their heart broken , they run back to the guys they said no to before.

Come on LADIES YOU CANT HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT

if she rejected U, then dnt go bck to her

OPE.

I THINK THE GENERAL CONCENSUS IF THAT YOU SHOULD STAY WITH YOUR NEW GIRL.

Good luck, and don't let the old girl interfer with your new relationship

Happened once, will happen again.

Rhodalyn:

if she rejected U, then dnt go bck to her

She didn't actually reject me but I didn't know if I was the one that slacked behind. That's whats puzzling me cos of the way she said it, the day she approached me.

what exactly did she say to U, we need to knw

ope_emi:

She didn't actually reject me but I didn't know if I was the one that slacked behind. That's whats puzzling me because of the way she said it, the day she approached me.

Now I see your confusion, it's confusion.

dude! seems like u are a confused soul yourself, if she didnt reject you and like you said "you slacked behind", then go for her now that she's not slacking, but woteva you knw better, u are dealing with sentiments here. u need to do what ur heart tells you,

gentleaura:

dude! seems like u are a confused soul yourself, if she didnt reject you and like you said "you slacked behind", then go for her now that she's not slacking, but woteva you knw better, u are dealing with sentiments here. u need to do what your heart tells you,

Actually, I tried my best trying to get her back to me but it seems she was ignoring me.

Or maybe I didn't try harder to impress her that I really need her a lot.

But since she really didn't accept my the best I could offer, I dropped the matter.

I don't know if I should continue.

Ur story is actually confusing.Well i think if u really like the 1st girl then go for her.If u don't, stick with d new girl.From the way you sound,u are still slacking big-time.U hold the keys to solving your problem,so stop being all confused.Which of the two girls would you rather be with?Which do you love and want more?Go with your heart.

Dont decieve yourself into being fooled at this time, Put yourself in the new girl's shoes, if u got dropped for any other person how would u feel as a guy? Everyone in this life deserves a fair chance and i will not advise u to give someone two when another who desperately needs that chance is left with none.

Moral: Always substitute yourself with the prospective victim of your circumstances before making victims, Nemesis is more than a word!

The funny thing about relationships is at times we do not know what we want, but there are times when we are sure of what we want.  You see only you can answer this question truthfully for yourself.  Your ex-girlfriend that you truly loved and cared for decides that she wants to break-up, for whatever reason she had given you.  As an intelligent man you decided to move on to another woman.  Now the issue presents itself whether the ex-girlfriend should be given a second chance with you; however, with the problem of hindering your current relationship.

To answer this question most earnestly, you must first remind yourself of what it is that this ex-girlfriend was all about that made you love her so.  If you find that the same feelings are there, and you are willing to tolerate the bad aspects of her, then by all means break off your current relationship and rekindle what was lost.  However, if you earnestly believe that either you have been hurt to strongly or perhaps this current girlfriend is exactly what you want, then remain as you are. 

You see, relationships are only as complex as we make them to be.  We know what we want; however, the confusion only sets in when we attempt to overly analyze these decisions.  Remember, at the end, no matter what decision you make someone will get hurt.  The main thing that should be of your concern is whether you will be the one.  Think wisely and listen to your heart, it will lead you to where you need to be.

This is magnificient for a first post mokwuosa. Keep it up and welcome to Nairaland -- I couldn't agree more with you.

Mokwuosa, hmmmmmmmm! you got me thinking of what you said, I see where you are heading me to.

I know this is very much about me we are taking about, and I really thank you for the advice of me following my Heart. I have made a decision now, but what I am really concerned about is how I won't break the other girl's heart.

What do you think I would say that won't give the reason of the other girl getting heart broken. What do you think I should say

I dont believe u r actually planning a heartbreak

ope_emi:

Mokwuosa, hmmmmmmmm! you got me thinking of what you said, I see where you are heading me to.

I know this is very much about me we are taking about, and I really thank you for the advice of me following my Heart. I have made a decision now, but what I am really concerned about is how I won't break the other girl's heart.

What do you think I would say that won't give the reason of the other girl getting heart broken. What do you think I should say

To be honest with you Ope_emi, there are no "right words" to use in such a situation--all you can be is honest, you will get much more respect from the girl you are choosing to let go than no respect at all.  You see, if we try to find the right way to justify our actions we only end up hurting those that we did not intend to hurt in the beginning. 

Frankly, if I were in your position I would just be upfront with the young lady and state the situation to her.  Granted, she may be upset with you or even hurt, but at the end she is aware and has a clear understanding as to why you have made such a judgment call.  There is no better way to cure the situation, it only matters at the end if you are making the most valid assessment that you believe will truly benefit all those involved--primarily yourself.  This is not a business deal we are speaking of, where if there is a breach of contract the parties may seek damages for lack of performance.  Instead we are speaking of relationships, where there is a clear understanding that people change thier minds and there will be some sort of pain at the end. 

I understand that you do not want to hurt this young lady; however, you will only hurt her more by not coming clean and telling her the complete and honest reason why you have made your choice.   

I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your pronouncement.  Nonetheless, I hope you have clearly thought your verdict out, because you know we women know how to get our men back when we want them!   

the rejected stone has now become the cornerstone. bros stay fixed with your new babe.

"many mistakes that guys make"

Busta:

"many mistakes that guys make"

over and over again.

@ Poster: I gleaned that you never used the exact 'toasting' words (Some church-going men do not have those yearning powers) on the first lady and you just claimed she wasn't interested and stuff. Look, sometimes most ladies are single and waiting, but you have to talk first and see if she accesses you with the manner and level or fund method or both.But the current lady is superb and obviously no one is actually superb (she is 75% ur type) please carry on with her.Bye!

Bros u can do the two together now,are they complaining?

Gosh, i was late on dis thread! Nothin spoil, shaa!
@Poster, "breast at hand is better than a thousand in bra"!
YOU GO 'NACK' 2ZERO!
Better hold on to de one at hand first, and find out what (material thing) she actually saw in you. Don't even think of leavin de present one.
A word is enough for d wise!