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Re: by Nobody: 9:34pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
chic2pimp: Fact! |
Re: by chic2pimp(m): 9:51pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: No mind Saga jare |
Re: by deols(f): 9:12pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
That many people fail to keep to our values doesnt mean we dont have them. Somewhere deep in every1 or majority of the people, they exist. Nigerian values include that you respect your elders, that you dont eye them nor look down on them, stamp your feet while speaking with them, not to raise your voice over theirs.that you respect your parents, hold their views in high esteem and seek to please them always. It also involves being chaste(pregnancy before marriage was at least a thing of shame until very recently and is still it in some places). Neatness and cleanliness as being next to Godliness. To also hold things termed holy in high esteem, keeping to the rules and regulations guiding them. A lot may have been responsible for the decline in our value system. It doesnt make them non existent nor less valuable. |
Re: by SisiKill1: 9:47pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Good list Deols and you are right, those things are what we consider Nigerian values. However, if we look deeper, we will see that they should be Human Being values (for lack of a better word). I don't think there's anyone. . .parent out there instilling the opposite of those things in their kids (westerners included). We Nigerians just tend to be more vocal about it even when it is not being practiced and when our children fail, it is easier to blame an external forces instead of looking inward and assessing where we went wrong. What is different between us and "the westerners" is that they don't bury their heads in the sand, they tackle the hard stuff which for us. . .is a No No! We don't talk about certain things, like sex, we would much rather pretend our children are chaste and they shall be for the rest of their lives. The mere mention of it sends us into a fit but reality is. . .the world is changing, even we don't talk about it, these kids are still going to find out about it one way or the other. Wouldn't you rather be in control of your child's first foray into dangerous territory? If I had to say what the Naija value(s) is. . .I'd have to say Denial! 1 Like |
Re: by Sagamite(m): 10:02pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Yeah, westerners do. When parents go and verbally or even physically attack teachers for punishing their child, they are saying do not respect your elders. When parents are saying they are allowing their teenagers to have s[i]e[/i]x in the home "because they are going to do it anyway and we can't stop them, so why not let them do it at home where it is safer", they are encouraging promiscuity. They are in moral melt-down (especially in the UK). While it might be said that our Africa morals are not optimal themselves, at least the major contribution to ours is economic, theirs is based mainly on pure illogical, moronic, liberal, progressive-wannabe, idiotic philosophical choices. As I always tell people, it is child abuse to raise your kid in the UK. |
Re: by Kobojunkie: 10:18pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Good list Deols and you are right, those things are what we consider Nigerian values.[size=13pt] However, if we look deeper, we will see that they should be Human Being values (for lack of a better word). TELL THEM!! |
Re: by Sagamite(m): 10:28pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Sometimes you make decisions in life based on experiences. My parents (and all parents of close friends and associates I know) did not talk about sex with me/us, neither was it taught in school bar reproductive system in biology, and I (as well as friends) came out fine. My parents did give me contraceptives though. It was an oral one. Basically it was "You do shyt, you are dead". It worked like peach for virtually all of us and has worked till this day for me to the very best of my knowledge (I am not aware of any child I have, I may just be ignorant sha). It was an era when parents were parents and not trying some lame "I want to be my child's BFF". Yes, the world is changing, but not for the better, I need to change with the changing world but I will try and make it for the better. |
Re: by SisiKill1: 10:30pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sagamite: Not long ago, I read an article about an Army officer going to beat up his son's teacher. . .If I remember correctly, the teacher seized the boy's phone. . . it happened in Nigeria. I'm not a real fan of using anecdotal evidence to prove a point but here goes. . .my nieces attend one of the better schools in Lagos and some time last year they called an emergency PTA meeting because one of the moms actually brought a cane to beat a teacher for punishing her daughter. What made the whole thing crazy was the fact that the school was going to let the teacher go just because the woman is one of the big moneybags in the school (they can always count on her for donations) the other parents made such a big stink about it the injustice of letting the poor teacher go just to please the witch, they decided to move the teacher to their annex school. I can bet anything that there are more cases like that but they are being swept under the carpet because these teachers don't want to lose their jobs. There's no union to protect them, there aren't labor laws they can use to fight their cases. They have no choice but to take the ill treatment and move on. As for the sex part, you need to go on twitter to see what these kids are doing. Wasn't it year one students going at each other's throat last year on twitter talking about who has effed who and where? If our kids. . .Nigerian kids are so protected by the Nigerian values our Universities won't be synonymous to whorehouses (or whatever the kids call them these days) These things are happening, that we don't talk about them as openly as they do in the west does not mean they aren't. It is easier to quote stats in the west because they at least try to keep track of these things but we don't. . .I mean how do you keep track of something you have convinced yourself does not happen? So of course when the western Statistics are compared to the Nigerian no Stats at all. . .well, the conclusion is obvious but does it paint a true picture? 1 Like |
Re: by SisiKill1: 10:37pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sagamite: Seriously, we are saying the same thing really, my parents didn't tell me about sex either but then again I didn't have the internet at home, internet on the go, internet on the potty, readily accessible sex books and magazines like they do today. Times are changing and yeah maybe not for the better but we have adapt to it and if it means sitting our children down to have the sex talk (even though we never had to have it with our parents) then that's what we gotta do. 1 Like |
Re: by SisiKill1: 10:40pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Lmao! I'm gonna start stealing your smileys. |
Re: by Sagamite(m): 10:41pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: I don't even need to finish reading this. What you just gave (I am sure) are examples of our Nigerian, modern, western-wanabee, na-me-love-my-child-pass, oyinbo-copying, funky parents that we are getting nowadays in the metropolis. The generation that have watched western stuff and want to copy it. The generation that loves boasting proudly their kids can speak English with pepeye fone and Spanish with aguntan fone but cannot speak their mother-tongue despite living and growing up in Nigeria. That is not representative of the African values I allude to. Those are youthful, niche, funkadelic Nigerian people's values. As par what kids are up to. That is the result of globalisation and the things parents let them have access to without any monitoring. I do not plan to follow that path as best as I can. https://www.nairaland.com/939130/when-it-right-child-own/2#10840402 I am not funky at all. I am a realist. |
Re: by coogar: 10:43pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: come on - they must have told you if a boy touched your hand you would get preggers..... |
Re: by queensmith: 10:45pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
chaircover: After yet another few days of heartbreaking threads where our ahhh's and e-hugs are too late for some people, I have decided that we should have a chat about catching this serious problem from the root. I sure do hope you do all this for your sons, abi what message are you sending? Women are retarded so we must treat them special. well done. Meanwhile there really is no self esteem and self respect when one believes women are 'somehow somehow' you know when they get hormones and all that. . . . . . I am amused. 1 Like |
Re: by SisiKill1: 10:53pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
coogar: Shut up!!! How did you know!!! It was "If a guy sits close to you, you will get pregnant" for me. Of course they had to change it when I went. . .wait a min but Muktar and Saliu and Yemi and Toks sits close to me all the time (Muktar, Saliu, Yemi and Toks are my cousins, brother and uncle) and I don't have a baby. In retrospect, The "Errrrr. . .ehm. . .we mean any guy not related to you" shoulda tipped me off that something wasn't right but what can I say, I was eight and mom was the fountain of knowledge. |
Re: by Sagamite(m): 10:56pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
The first bunch of kids I knew that were being raised using this youthful, niche, funkadelic parenthood were Queen's College girls. In my time, they love to speak funky and were posh. A great institution that used to churn out great alumni back in the days. Those were the old ones raised by proper African parents. Now, I don't even hear of their grads anymore, evident of the waste of the generation I knew, in my opinion. Ah! Me, I am not funky o. I am your FADA! |
Re: by coogar: 11:22pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: you can't blame them - that's their own way of protecting the kids! i doubt such tales would work again though. today's kids now watch animal planet and they see animals do their thingy! Sagamite: The first bunch of kids I knew that were being raised using this youthful, niche, funkadelic parenthood were Queen's College girls. private schools caught up with queens college and even shot beyond them. i doubt the school produce the same quality like they did in the 80s and 90s! the calibre of chics who would have attended queens college these days now go to corona, chrisland, lekki British school, british international school, etc. |
Re: by fstranger9: 11:45pm On Aug 14, 2012 |
Sagamite: The first bunch of kids I knew that were being raised using this youthful, niche, funkadelic parenthood were Queen's College girls. If you think QC girls speak funky and posh, then I am afraid you didnt know what being posh is. You must have had a rough background in Sagamu if your idea of posh back then was Queen's college girls. I wonder how your first few years in London was really like . . . did you think well brought up White girls were angels? 2 Likes |
Re: by Kobojunkie: 12:11am On Aug 15, 2012 |
queensmith: |
Re: by kandiikane(m): 5:06am On Aug 15, 2012 |
chaircover: Thanks Jenny. I knew that this is a topic that is very important to you. I sometimes think that it is my age and that is why I dont understand why all these women are just going with "anything goes" just t have a ring on their finger but you are younger than me and you too dont understand it How old are you? |
Re: by Nobody: 10:05am On Aug 15, 2012 |
.. |
Re: by Nobody: 10:11am On Aug 15, 2012 |
chaircover: Excuse mee?? kandiikane:Don't mind CC. The first time I read that line I LMAO. Can you imagine the insult an old woman like me that has knacked menopause already |
Re: by Nobody: 10:12am On Aug 15, 2012 |
... 1 Like |
Re: by Nobody: 10:12am On Aug 15, 2012 |
... |
Re: by Nobody: 10:17am On Aug 15, 2012 |
queensmith: Maybe if we got as much complaints from the men as we get from married insecure women here on NL, there wouldn't have been any need for this thread! |
Re: by queensmith: 10:56am On Aug 15, 2012 |
chaircover: good luck with all that. 1 Like |
Re: by jaybee3(m): 11:09am On Aug 15, 2012 |
No matter what you teach them usually gets thrown outta the window once they start to taste freedom. How do you stop a teenager from wearing mini skirts that attract the you know what dudes when the current dynamics/trends dictates that's probably what's needed to get accepted in the world? Kids of today are well informed and the least we can do is to move with time as well as develop new ways to damage control for the if and when they do fall. The idea of sex education for secondary school kids was started to encourage intimacy between children. It was more of an awareness campaign so they are well informed when making big decisions at early stages of there respective life. |
Re: by Nobody: 11:33am On Aug 15, 2012 |
chaircover: +100. I agree 2 Likes |
Re: by queensmith: 12:10pm On Aug 15, 2012 |
I'm jussayin, you already believe women are 'somehow somehow' that mentality will be passed down onto your children. No matter how many 'magazine phrases' you ban in the house, or how much you tip toe around her 'fragile' mind (and i know you don't believe the same for your boys'. She's already going to think she is somehow somehow, paranoid reactions to raising girls aren't going to solve it. 1 Like |
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