There is this girl i met recently and we started dating,my intention is to settle down with her in a couple of months time.i love her and i hv proposed to her bt she said i should gv a time which i hv done because i met her 3 months ago.i never intended to do any silly thing by taking her to bed so soon becus she looks reserved to me.i calles her 2days ago asking her the reason she had stopped visiting me and she said that her mum is aware of it and caution her to stop visiting me till i show my intention to the family.
i called her today that i will be coming to there house and declare my intention to her mum which she agreed bt my surprised was that the mother told me that a lot of suitors hv bn coming and her daughter told her that she loves one of them bt my girl never told me that. i love her and our communication has bn great,she never demands anything frm me and i also supports her financially the little i can.
She came from a poor family neither am i so rich bt am comfortable enuf to take good care of her,her father is late and her mother is nt doing anything.shes the first daughter.
Am a civil servant wt a monthly salary of 60k,i love her and wants to marry her bt i dnt know if they are after a rich man coz she loves me too.do u think my obstacle is my status? i need help.

OP


Who do u wanna get?

You need to stop worrying so much about what isn't.

What is the question all about? If i get u, u are feeling lowself-esteem that u are not a rich guy? Get over that dear, 50k is enough to get her mother busy. Instead of wasting money on marriage. But firstly let the girl know everything.

you just met her three months ago and you already proposed are you freaking kidding me and you're wondering why she stopped coming to your place.

Ignore the mum,s info until it comes from her to you. Roll for another three months, you should have a cleaer focus by then.

190-the-clown:
OP


Who do u wanna get?

No wonder!You're a CLOWN indeed.

@Op. Some of these great guys have already done the job of dishing out good advice.Let me add this more.
You dated a girl for just 3 months and you've already proposed? Isn't it too early?
Those that advocate helping the family with the hope that you will marry their daughter.Hmm.I hope you understand 'hmm'?
What is the girl doing presently and how can she support you as a helpmate?You guys ain't talking.Ask her to confirm your fears if she accepted anyone else.She may deny it even if she did. It depends on her person.
Stop this low income mentality it got nothing to do with if she accepts you. A woman who loves you will stay and even figure out ways of adding value to your life. Good luck bruv.

Bros, don't be too hasty in taking a life's time decision like marriage. Why would you even go for her when her family is financially unstable (wondering aloud) and you are not that rich. By the time they finish you with extended problem, you will regret ever proposing to her.
Take your time, look for another girl (the last time I checked, they are many) and don't rush.

Tnk u all for d reply,as regards proposing to her afta three months of dating her was due to d fact that i wnts her to feel free wt me so that i wl get 2 knw her deeper. My intention is 2 take her to d altar by nxt year easter period. I wnts her to b coming and spending d wkend wt me.

jhydebaba: Bros, don't be too hasty in taking a life's time decision like marriage. Why would you even go for her when her family is financially unstable (wondering aloud) and you are not that rich. By the time they finish you with extended problem, you will regret ever proposing to her.
Take your time, look for another girl (the last time I checked, they are many) and don't rush.

my dad discouraged me bcus of their financial condition bt my mum encouraged and my friend encouraged me,am finding it difficult nw to take a decision.

bendazum:

No wonder!You're a CLOWN indeed.

jhydebaba: Bros, don't be too hasty in taking a life's time decision like marriage. Why would you even go for her when her family is financially unstable (wondering aloud) and you are not that rich. By the time they finish you with extended problem, you will regret ever proposing to her.
Take your time, look for another girl (the last time I checked, they are many) and don't rush.

bendazum: @Op. Some of these great guys have already done the job of dishing out good advice.Let me add this more.
You dated a girl for just 3 months and you've already proposed? Isn't it too early?
Those that advocate helping the family with the hope that you will marry their daughter.Hmm.I hope you understand 'hmm'?
What is the girl doing presently and how can she support you as a helpmate?You guys ain't talking.Ask her to confirm your fears if she accepted anyone else.She may deny it even if she did. It depends on her person.
Stop this low income mentality it got nothing to do with if she accepts you. A woman who loves you will stay and even figure out ways of adding value to your life. Good luck bruv.

tnks,she's stil a student and hv more 2yrs to get her HND bt i cn help her finish her education coz i hv savings.

Pls does it mean that nt too well financial stable man shuldn't marry someone of hs own class?

2fyn: Pls dos it mean dat nt tu wel financial stable man shuldn't mary some1 of hs own class?

If patience had taut of gej as a shoeless guy, and gej taut of ha as a plantain seler..we wldnt hav gej as ur presidnt nd she as ur 1st lady.

Gej nd patience were of desame clas and they maried irespktiv of deir family financial status and 2day they'r BIG.Folow ur heart, u gal didn't cr8 hasef or chose 2 b poor. So, igno dose advisin u nt mary ha because of ha status.Hu knws wat d futur hods 4 ha?

2fyn: my dad discouraged me bcus of their financial condition bt my mum encouraged and my friend encouraged me,am finding it difficult nw to take a decision.

If I were u, I will go with my father. Ur friends just want to eat rice on ur wedding day and for ur mum; *SMH wetin women know?

Are u kiddin me? Just 3months and u feel u have hammered abi? Mr man! How exactly are u gona afford d wedding? Is ur babe working? 60k for 3 people including her mother? Deres something seriously wrong wiv ur medular.

2fyn: tnks,she's stil a student and hv more 2yrs to get her HND bt i cn help her finish her education coz i hv savings.

U have savings? U sound so gullible. How u so sure d said babe won't do a runner after her HND? Wot happens den? U go drink a cold bottle of bleach to cry urself to sleep abi? SMH!!!!

kemmeye: you just met her three months ago and you already proposed are you freaking kidding me and you're wondering why she stopped coming to your place.

The same people will complain about we wating their time if we dont propose in time!
Are 3 months not good enough!

1. Don't rush marriage

2. If you spend your savings on her and she doesn't marry you, how will you cope?

3. Pls use your head. Thx.

ayobase:

The same people will complain about we wating their time if we dont propose in time!
Are 3 months not good enough!

Not good enough for a chick dats obviously not certain if she wants to be engaged to dis gullible op.

Haste makes waste

3 months is not enough to truly make marriage decision.
Your financial standing doesnt also encourage marriage at this time, cos kids are expensive to raise. What of rent etc ?
Keep marriage out of your mind now and concentrate on income generation while dating her.

edogram.:
What is the question all about? If i get u, u are feeling lowself-esteem that u are not a rich guy? Get over that dear, 50k is enough to get her mother busy. Instead of wasting money on marriage. But firstly let the girl know everything.

Like seriously, how did u arrive @ that figure? :-/

@ Op: follow ur heart,if u love her and she loves u, go ahead,seal it with a traditional and when u feel u r financially buoyant, do d white wedding or what-have-you.

Idowuogbo:
Not good enough for a chick dats obviously not certain if she wants to be engaged to dis gullible op.

He is gullible indeed.....the girl is indeed taking her time to marshal out theories to select!

ayobase:

He is gullible indeed.....the girl is indeed taking her time to marshal out theories to select!

Exactly....

DICKtator:

Like seriously, how did u arrive @ that figure? :-/

@ Op: follow ur heart,if u love her and she loves u, go ahead,seal it with a traditional and when u feel u r financially buoyant, do d white wedding or what-have-you.

tnks for ur reply.

Let me prophesy a little: in our clime it's not very healthy to help a girl ( or boy for that matter) through school or trainig in in order to get married to her/him latter. It is always fraught with diappointment and disaster. I know more than 3 persons who had their fingers burnt if not part of their heart. You father may be aware of this danger hence his relunctance to encourage you. There is no harm in your marrying someone of dissimilar social status but when it comes to "train-to-marry" beware. You can still help her to finish her education but look for another girl to marry. You'll be happier and saver.

ayobase:

He is gullible indeed.....the girl is indeed taking her time to marshal out theories to select!

am nt gullible and nt d type to use and dump,like i said earlier that she doesn't beg me for financial assistance and what i do or gv her is frm my free will. I love her and she loves me too.

OldBushman: Let me prophesy a little: in our clime it's not very healthy to help a girl ( or boy for that matter) through school or trainig in in order to get married to her/him latter. It is always fraught with diappointment and disaster. I know more than 3 persons who had their fingers burnt if not part of their heart. You father may be aware of this danger hence his relunctance to encourage you. There is no harm in your marrying someone of dissimilar social status but when it comes to "train-to-marry" beware. You can still help her to finish her education but look for another girl to marry. You'll be happier and saver.

tnks for ur reply, d issue is dat i wnt to pay her bride price and do d traditional marriage ths year and then start taking care of her education. We used to communicate very well on d phone and she even calls me daily on her own,i think she's in love wt me and making ths decision is d problem.

2fyn: am nt gullible and nt d type to use and dump,like i said earlier that she doesn't beg me for financial assistance and what i do or gv her is frm my free will. I love her and she loves me too.

That a gel is not asking for financial assistance from a guy doesnt mean that she can die for him.
.
If not for anything...u could be her plan B.
If she is really into u, she should go ahead and tell her Mum what she wants....or is she being henpecked by her mother.
.
And beside, u can take ur time to let her unleash, no one can tell....ladies could be confused sometimes!
.
I didnt mean to insult u....tot u are easily deceived!

Billyonaire: 3 months is not enough to truly make marriage decision.
Your financial standing doesnt also encourage marriage at this time, cos kids are expensive to raise. What of rent etc ?
Keep marriage out of your mind now and concentrate on income generation while dating her.

As regards rent,i dnt hv problem wt that coz i hv a business that am investing on that wl support me financially wt d kids.
Asking me to keep marriage out of it wl nt be 2 good wt me coz am in my mid thirtees and d first son.,my parents and age mates are presurizing me and am not finding it easy.