Married for some months now,wife said she wants a blackberry,Husband said you are connected at work why need one,he further said he don't want any disturbance at home after work.Wife went on getting a blackberry.Husband found out that his wife chats with her ex,and went mad and broke the phone.

please house has he done anything wrong?

Yes, he has done something wrong. He should have demanded that the wife drop the Blackberry by herself. And people are beginning to suggest I should get married. Abeg, if its not the right woman, I am not interested no matter what my other conditions are. I have said it many people don't understand what marriage entails. What is a married woman doing chatting on "bbm" with her ex? It can only bring trouble.

authentic black: Married for some months now,wife said she wants a blackberry,Husband said you are connected at work why need one,he further said he don't want any disturbance at home after work.Wife went on getting a blackberry.Husband found out that his wife chats with her ex,and went mad and broke the phone.

please house has he done anything wrong?

Lets forget the typical "husband and wife" picture many Africans are raised with and try to see this from a different angle. Say you and your best friend happen to disagree on you needing to get a blackberry, but you decide to get one anyway. Don't you think it will be wrong for your best friend to get mad and break the phone?

The marriage relationship is not another phase for the woman to live under the supervision of yet another adult. She already went through that phase of life when she was under the supervision of her PARENTS.
Marriage should not be another one of those. Marriage is meant to be a relationship between two EQUAL entities(think friends/best friend) who happen to agree to live and grow together in a union. There is absolutely no justification for what the male in your scenario there has done and honestly, the two would need to go in for counseling as developments such as these have a way of getting worse and not better if left unresolved.

Kobojunkie:

Lets forget the typical "husband and wife" picture many Africans are raised with and try to see this from a different angle. Say you and your best friend happen to disagree on you needing to get a blackberry, but you decide to get one anyway. Don't you think it will be wrong for your best friend to get mad and break the phone?

The marriage relationship is not another phase for the woman to live under the supervision of yet another adult. She already went through that phase of life when she was under the supervision of her PARENTS.
Marriage should not be another one of those. Marriage is meant to be a relationship between two EQUAL entities(think friends/best friend) who happen to agree to live and grow together in a union. There is absolutely no justification for what the male in your scenario there has done and honestly, the two would need to go in for counseling as developments such as these have a way of getting worse and not better if left unresolved.

Are you married? Because you keep advising virtually everybody to go for counseling.

What the heck kind of question is that? If you are sick, won't you go see a doctor? So what is wrong with suggesting people, even married folks go for counseling?

Kobojunkie: What the heck kind of question is that? If you are sick, won't you go see a doctor? So what is wrong with suggesting people, even married folks go for counseling?

Are you married?

a) Yes b) No

maclatunji:

Are you married? Because you keep advising virtually everybody to go for counseling.

And going for counseling is a bad thing now??

Sisi_Kill:

And going for counseling is a bad thing now??

Of course not, stop being silly already. However, Kobojunkie would send everybody for counseling if given the opportunity. I am "pulling her legs" on that front.

#Hahaha

authentic black: Married for some months now,wife said she wants a blackberry,Husband said you are connected at work why need one,he further said he don't want any disturbance at home after work.Wife went on getting a blackberry.Husband found out that his wife chats with her ex,and went mad and broke the phone.

please house has he done anything wrong?

as far as i am concerned,what the husband did wasnt wrong.. Good for the woman,next time she will obey her husband. Whats she trying to prove by buying the bb without her husband aproval That she has enuf money to buy wotever she wants even if her hubby isnt in support

Some women sef,jejely trouble sleep,she go wake am. She even had the guts to be chatting with her ex Thats crazy.....

taryour:

as far as i am concerned,what the husband did wasnt wrong.. Good for the woman,next time she will obey her husband. Whats she trying to prove by buying the bb without her husband aproval That she has enuf money to buy wotever she wants even if her hubby isnt in support

Some women sef,jejely trouble sleep,she go wake am. She even had the guts to be chatting with her ex Thats crazy.....

I understand what you're saying perfectly but the husband also went wrong by smashing the phone. A wise man should know how to get his wife to do what he wants even when she's being irrational without violence. A little give and take and understanding is required. In such situations, he should treat her like his favourite daughter and she will come back apologising if she's sensible.

maclatunji:

I understand what you're saying perfectly but the husband also went wrong by smashing the phone. A wise man should know how to get his wife to do what he wants even when she's being irrational without violence. A little give and take and understanding is required. In such situations, he should treat her like his favourite daughter and she will come back apologising if she's sensible.

i can only imagine the anger that men felt when he noticed the chat was with her ex.... Am sure he wasnt also happy when the woman went ahead to buy the bb after tellin her not to,then later realises she is using the same bb to chat with her ex. He already said no disturbance, if the chat was with a friend would have been a diffrent case but with her ex....... Naaa thats way out of it..... Remember not all men will take such insult. For me i term that as *cheating* on her husband. Why did she marry the man if she knew she would still comunicate with her ex

taryour:

as far as i am concerned,what the husband did wasnt wrong.. Good for the woman,next time she will obey her husband. Whats she trying to prove by buying the bb without her husband aproval That she has enuf money to buy wotever she wants even if her hubby isnt in support

Some women sef,jejely trouble sleep,she go wake am. She even had the guts to be chatting with her ex Thats crazy.....

Where is @Dayokanu . . . this above is a prime example of what females who contribute to the status quo say.

taryour:

i can only imagine the anger that men felt when he noticed the chat was with her ex.... Am sure he wasnt also happy when the woman went ahead to buy the bb after tellin her not to,then later realises she is using the same bb to chat with her ex. He already said no disturbance, if the chat was with a friend would have been a diffrent case but with her ex....... Naaa thats way out of it..... Remember not all men will take such insult. For me i term that as *cheating* on her husband. Why did she marry the man if she knew she would still comunicate with her ex

I feel and know these things already but you know that if they are to make up,the husband has to apologise for smashing the BB. His action has weakened his position. So instead of wife being truly remorseful for disobeying and seriously disrespecting her husband by maintaining some degree of close contact with her ex, she will be feeling "justified" that he is too jealous and unreasonable.

You women are mostly like that.

authentic black: Married for some months now,wife said she wants a blackberry,Husband said you are connected at work why need one,he further said he don't want any disturbance at home after work.Wife went on getting a blackberry.Husband found out that his wife chats with her ex,and went mad and broke the phone.

please house has he done anything wrong?

but why would a married woman be chatting with her ex. the husband should not have broken the fone but some women just push men so far

What d woman did was partially wrong in d sense dat she was chatin wit her ex.if d husby said he wont buy bb for her,she can get it her self,afterall its 25k,but if she was chatin wit her galfriends,church folks etc dats ok but to chat wit her x was bad n d man too went to far by smashin d fone.infact if it was me i wont say anytin,shey he has satisfied himself,its simply to pik 25k from where he kipos his money in d house n get a new one but dis tym i wil leave it in d ofice n chat till my hearys content.if he asks 4 d money,i will deny it vehemently .mshewww.i dont knw y men r fond of givin thrash to women wen dey demselves cant take it.lets turn tables around,if he was chatin wit his ex,will she pik d fone n smash it? If she did what will b his reaction? Yell,shout,slap,chase her out of d house (@ least dats wot makes u men feel good,to see somone u can transfer ur frustratn n aggresn on)

I am going with Taryour on this! Let's not forget that MEN value RESPECT more than the much mouthed (love)! The woman disrepected her hubby in the 1st instance by buying the BB and further by engaging in a chat with her ex! Yes she can afford it for herself but for goodness sake this is marriage where couples are accountable to each other not BF/GF thingy !
As for the hubby, he over reacted by smashing the BB but it was the wife's action that resulted to the husband's reaction(newton's law ). As Madam CC said, money wasted by the hubby hence seizing the phone would have been more appropriate but you never can tell how you react when that momentary anger/madness creeps in.
The woman in this case is still grappling with adapting to the dynamics of submissiveness in marriage while the man should learn how to be in charge without being forceful/violent or physical!
My 2 shillings...

sub_zidi: I am going with Taryour on this! Let's not forget that MEN value RESPECT more than the much mouthed (love)! The woman disrepected her hubby in the 1st instance by buying the BB and further by engaging in a chat with her ex! Yes she can afford it for herself but for goodness sake this is marriage where couples are accountable to each other not BF/GF thingy !
As for the hubby, he over reacted by smashing the BB but it was the wife's action that resulted to the husband's reaction(newton's law ). As Madam CC said, money wasted by the hubby hence seizing the phone would have been more appropriate but you never can tell how you react when that momentary anger/madness creeps in.
The woman in this case is still grappling with adapting to the dynamics of submissiveness in marriage while the man should learn how to be in charge without being forceful/violent or physical!
My 2 shillings...

Applauding. Well said! I have hope.

taryour:

as far as i am concerned,what the husband did wasnt wrong.. Good for the woman,next time she will obey her husband. Whats she trying to prove by buying the bb without her husband aproval That she has enuf money to buy wotever she wants even if her hubby isnt in support

Some women sef,jejely trouble sleep,she go wake am. She even had the guts to be chatting with her ex Thats crazy.....

In as much as the intent of this post is right, I don't agree with it. Why would the hubby break the fone? Is it the fone that offended him ni?

Sincerely, the guy should have handled the situation in a more matured way. With or without a BB, she can cheat if she wants to.

He breaks my phone and I will stab him with the pieces of the broken phone

In addition, why did he refuse the wife having a BB? It sounds like d guy is insecure or probably the girl isn't to be trusted.

So, I ask; why marry someone you can't trust?

Op,

Its a series of wrongs.

Marriage is not by force thats the first thing.

If the husband thinks the Wife shouldnt get a BB and the wife thinks the BB is very important they can talk about the way forward for their marriage

If the Wife got a BB and the husband doesnt like it that he was disobeyed (Like God ) they can also talk about the way forward.

If the wife has a BB and she is chatting with her ex they can also talk about it and decide on the way forward Maybe she wants to be with the Ex or the husband

Smashing the phone is a violent act. smashing the phone could have turned things awry. The girl could have slapped him and a series of punching would start which might injure or kill someone and the Bottom line of why your eyes are swollen, your teeth removed or someone dies is BLACKBERRY.

BTW. What happened to discussing issues over or are the couple both DEAF and DUMB

*Winks at Kobo in acknowledgement*

I think we need a thread on trust . . .

I bought a phone with my own hard earned money and one silly insecure nonentity called a husband decides to break it. His death will be as a result of that phone he broke after they have conducted autopsy on him

jennykadry: I bought a phone with my own hard earned money and one silly insecure nonentity called a husband decides to break it. His death will be as a result of that phone he broke after they have conducted autopsy on him

Aunty yi l'enu sha. O lenu bi nuclear bomb

jennykadry: I bought a phone with my own hard earned money and one silly insecure nonentity called a husband decides to break it. His death will be as a result of that phone he broke after they have conducted autopsy on him

kai..... Jenny jenny, i hail thee o

I believe marriage is a partnership, and in a partnership decisions are made by parties involved.

If I were to buy a BB phone against the approval of my wife and she discovered that am chatting with my ex and breaks the phone, I'd still apologise to her.

xcitedjay: I believe marriage is a partnership, and in a partnership decisions are made by parties involved.

If I were to buy a BB phone against the approval of my wife and she discovered that am chatting with my ex and breaks the phone, I'd still apologise to her.

Good thinking, but she still in the wrong for smashing the fone. Means she isn't matured and have anger issues.

Tgirl4real:

Good thinking, but she still in the wrong for smashing the fone. Means she isn't matured and have anger issues.

Yeah! Two wrongs don't make a right, but anger can cause you to do things. I'd tender an apology because my actions caused her to react ~albeit wrongly~.

Ishilove:
Aunty yi l'enu sha. O lenu bi nuclear bomb

Mouth never sharp reach. Which kain yeye man be this one? Broke my phone? Imagine me buying the new iPhone 5(whenever it comes out) and one yeye man breaking it? By the time I am done with him, he will replace Steve jobs in his grave

@Topic
I don't support cheating, my problem is him breaking the phone.

jennykadry:

Mouth never sharp reach. Which kain yeye man be this one? Broke my phone? Imagine me buying the new iPhone 5(whenever it comes out) and one yeye man breaking it? By the time I am done with him, he will replace Steve jobs in his grave

@Topic
I don't support cheating, my problem is him breaking the phone.

LOL. If I didn't know better, I would think you are some wild woman living in the jungle.