Hello Nairalanders,I hate how some Men run away from their resposibility!children are blessing given from God.
Why would a Man pregnate a woman nowing that he don't want anything to do with her?this same men go infront of people and brag off.
How can you sit down eat bele full not even think one minite has my daughter or son had anything to eat?!is she or he ok? is she or he sick?
Guys remember the strock of God is very painful and the blood of this kids will aunt you for ever.Eg how can you let another man raise your daughter
He can molest her even more!!Am writting this because am so sad that this happend to my sister.I personally have two daughters and i can never leave my blood to suffer while i enjoy.

pele

I'm Sorry your sister is a victim... She'll be alright!

Life is tough, tell your sister to get a helmet. Anyway am sorry for her plight, maybe the man will come to his right senses one day. God is not asleep.

@OP
let me be the bearer of bad news: you sista is EQUALLY to be blamed for having a child for this guy. the fact that she decided to open her legs unprotected for him, is a simple proof that its her damn fault too......... so as much as the story may be sad, tell her to get on with her life, and you should do too instead of whining here on NL to strangers.

as for your questions:

Olegeme: Why would a Man pregnate a woman nowing that he don't want anything to do with her?

why would a woman have unprotected sex with a guy before making sure that he is fully ready to have a child with her? what made your sister decide that she should be pregnant for this stranger? he is obviously a stranger to her....and thats what happened when people have kids for strangers. how are you even sure that he wanted to have a child with your sister (and that it wasnt in fact a trick from your sister to try to tie this guy down)?

How can you sit down eat bele full not even think one minite has my daughter or son had anything to eat?!is she or he ok? is she or he sick?

what has that got to do with anything? if that man has decided to have NO contact with that child, then he certainly doesnt give a damn if that child has eaten or not. instead of focussing on what this guy is doing, focus on helping your sister get a better life for herself.

Guys remember the strock of God is very painful and the blood of this kids will aunt you for ever.Eg how can you let another man raise your daughter

men dont care who raises their children or not.........if they dont care, then THEY DONT CARE! focus of what is important here instead of writing nonsense stuff!

He can molest her even more!!Am writting this because am so sad that this happend to my sister.I personally have two daughters and i can never leave my blood to suffer while i enjoy.

people are different, expecting EVERYONE to live life by your standards, then you have a long way to go........ do what YOU believe is right, and let others do what THEY believe is right. if that man does not believe that this child is his (or his responsibility) then nothing you will say or do to him will make that man change.

here is a clue: many men DONT want children, tell their GFs, and yet many women trick them into having a child with them....i am not saying that this is what happened to your sis, i am just giving you ONE simple reason why many men would act this way.

@OP, do you live in Lagos? Cos if your sister does, the guy that knocked her up has no choice but take responsibility or face prison

Olegeme: Hello Nairalanders,I hate how some Men run away from their resposibility!children are blessing given from God.
Why would a Man pregnate a woman nowing that he don't want anything to do with her?this same men go infront of people and brag off.
How can you sit down eat bele full not even think one minite has my daughter or son had anything to eat?!is she or he ok? is she or he sick?
Guys remember the strock of God is very painful and the blood of this kids will aunt you for ever.Eg how can you let another man raise your daughter
He can molest her even more!!Am writting this because am so sad that this happend to my sister.I personally have two daughters and i can never leave my blood to suffer while i enjoy.

Sorry about your sister's plight and like a previous poster stated, she's going to be alright. At this point, she'll be needing the support of her family to get her through this initial difficult period.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
let me be the bearer of bad news: you sista is EQUALLY to be blamed for having a child for this guy. the fact that she decided to open her legs unprotected for him, is a simple proof that its her damn fault too......... so as much as the story may be sad, tell her to get on with her life, and you should do too instead of whining here on NL to strangers.

as for your questions:


why would a woman have unprotected sex with a guy before making sure that he is fully ready to have a child with her? what made your sister decide that she should be pregnant for this stranger? he is obviously a stranger to her....and thats what happened when people have kids for strangers. how are you even sure that he wanted to have a child with your sister (and that it wasnt in fact a trick from your sister to try to tie this guy down)?



what has that got to do with anything? if that man has decided to have NO contact with that child, then he certainly doesnt give a damn if that child has eaten or not. instead of focussing on what this guy is doing, focus on helping your sister get a better life for herself.



men dont care who raises their children or not.........if they dont care, then THEY DONT CARE! focus of what is important here instead of writing nonsense stuff!



people are different, expecting EVERYONE to live life by your standards, then you have a long way to go........ do what YOU believe is right, and let others do what THEY believe is right. if that man does not believe that this child is his (or his responsibility) then nothing you will say or do to him will make that man change.

here is a clue: many men DONT want children, tell their GFs, and yet many women trick them into having a child with them....i am not saying that this is what happened to your sis, i am just giving you ONE simple reason why many men would act this way.

With all due respect, your arguement is both specious and filled with straw men. It's so far up in straw man land that I don't know where to start.

For those who don't know what a straw man is;

"
The Straw Man fallacy is committed when a person simply ignores a person's actual position and substitutes a distorted, exaggerated or misrepresented version of that position.

1.) Person A has position X.
2.) Person B presents position Y (which is a distorted version of X).
3.) Person B attacks position Y.
4.) Therefore X is false/incorrect/flawed.

"

If one's acerbic dial goes to 10 doesn't mean we have to act on it. Understanding isn't justification, so the least we can do as humans is to give one in a difficult situation our understanding and with that comes empathy. I hope no one in your family ever encounters the same plight as the OP's sister.

^^^^funny, you sound exactly like one of our brothas on NL, lol....(Saga, is that you?)

anyway, who cares what YOU think, this is my opinion, take it or leave it. if my sister had the same problem, this is exactly what i would tell her, to the T. both person should be blamed for what happened as we all know that it takes two people to have consensual unprotected sex, and therefore, anything that would arise from such act IS (and would always be) THEIR fault, and BOTH should face the consequences instead of blaming "just one".

as for trying to force a man to do what YOU believe is right, this is very laughable!!!!

@Abeg, you really can't blame MBJ cos the initial post was incoherent and devoid of sense. Did you read that through? It seems the OP is so pissed off that he decided to put more than one scenario into it and if one person decides to pick one why blame him/her? The OP the genius who could not put a story together

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^funny, you sound exactly like one of our brothas on NL, lol....(Saga, is that you?) !!!!

If this is supposed to be some kind of joke, sorry I do not understand it.

MRbrownJAY: anyway, who cares what YOU think, this is my opinion, take it or leave it. if my sister had the same problem, this is exactly what i would tell her, to the T. both person should be blamed for what happened as we all know that it takes two people to have consensual unprotected sex, and therefore, anything that would arise from such act IS (and would always be) THEIR fault, and BOTH should face the consequences instead of blaming "just one".

Yet again, you fail to comprehend that the OP did not neccessarily absolve his sister of any blame in the predicament she finds herself.

That was the first straw man: Asserting that he did, and then going on a targent about women this and that and men this and that...It would seem that you were psychologically projecting.

For the record, I couldn't care less if you hold no value for my opinion... The benefit wasn't for you but for the group as large.

MRbrownJAY: as for trying to force a man to do what YOU believe is right, this is very laughable!!!!

Persuading adults not to abdicate their parental rights isn't an attempt to propagandize one's belief;It's already an inherent natural responsibity. further, any individual who has even a smidgen of intelligence cannot associate such act as a plausible consequence, as you have done here. Most men will not use an innocent child as a pawn to register their displeasure, sorry to disappoint you.

Mynd_44: @Abeg, you really can't blame MBJ cos the initial post was incoherent and devoid of sense. Did you read that through? It seems the OP is so pissed off that he decided to put more than one scenario into it and if one person decides to pick one why blame him/her? The OP the genius who could not put a story together

Seriously ? Really ? The OP's post was incoherent and devoid of sense ? Please read it again.

The suggestion that a man has jettisoned the parental responsibility of his sister's child doesn't necessarily mean that the man in question is solely being blamed for the pregnancy, as the magician above wants everyone to believe, because the OP, just like I do, understands that;

1.) If the man wasn't at fault he wouldn't abandon the innocent child.
2.) If the man was at fault he wouldn't abandon the innocent child.
3.) If the woman was the one at fault,100%, he wouldn't abandon the innocent child.

Actually, it is incoherent. He started asking wild questions and he went on rambling and he wrote one line relating to his sister and that was it.

Mynd_44: Actually, it is incoherent. He started asking wild questions and he went on rambling and he wrote one line relating to his sister and that was it.

Coherence could be subjective; I understood him.

A lot of guys should be more responsible for themselves, really. I mean, she's done good to get you strung, how hard can it be to put some damn rubber on 'yourself'?

Rocktation: how hard can it be to put some damn rubber on 'yourself'?

Or for her to ingest a morning after pill?

Abeg_gi: If this is supposed to be some kind of joke, sorry I do not understand it.

ok fair enough, i'll take your word for it (although you sound very much like him)

Yet again, you fail to comprehend that the OP did not neccessarily absolve his sister of any blame in the predicament she finds herself.

yet, instead of accepting the situation where his sister finds herself as CONSEQUENCES OF HER ACTIONS, he rather come here and tell us all how he hates a guy because who knows what?
here is a clue for you: it's called LIFE, and unless you are married with someone, nobody has any obligations towards anyone. if the guy decided that he wanted to care for this child then he would, and if he didnt then chances are that he wont....and there is nothing anyone can do about that. this is something that his SISTER should have made sure of before having unprotected sex with this stranger. isnt her actions what got her in this predicament to begin with, why doesnt the OP biatch about that too?

That was the first straw man: Asserting that he did, and then going on a targent about women this and that and men this and that...It would seem that you were psychologically projecting.

i was giving the OP reasons why any men "could" do what the guy who got his sister pregnant did....since he asked why would a man do that, duh!
the OP was quick to assume and write that the guy got his sister pregnant WILLINGLY, or that it was all PLANNED.

For the record, I couldn't care less if you hold no value for my opinion... The benefit wasn't for you but for the group as large.

yet you are the only one who had anything to say about what i wrote?! group at large indeed........ anyway, same goes for the group at large, lol!

Persuading adults not to abdicate their parental rights isn't an attempt to propagandize one's belief;It's already an inherent natural responsibity.

what parental right are you talking about?! what natural responsibility are you dreaming about?! to have any parental rights, you first have to believe/recognize that you have a child, instead of having people trying to coerce you into doing something you are not willing to do.
to have any natural responsibilty towards a child you first have to believe/know that you are a father. the fact that he (or you) believes that any man who get a girl pregnant MUST/SHOULD become responsible that same instance, is the joke of the day, and your first fail of the week. not every person on this earth is responsible, some are and other arent........the joke is on the lady who goes ahead and have a baby with such a man, thinking that he will become responsible.

further, any individual who has even a smidgen of intelligence cannot associate such act as a plausible consequence, as you have done here. Most men will not use an innocent child as a pawn to register their displeasure, sorry to disappoint you.

unless you write ALL MEN in your above post, what you wrote is irrelevant here, as you are saying exactly what i have been saying all along, duh!

Abeg_gi:

Coherence could be subjective; I understood him.

You are too quick to defend the OP. I think you are the same person

Eyah. Pele

Mynd_44:
You are too quick to defend the OP. I think you are the same person

Well, I am not, and cannot be, persuaded by what or how you think.

You'll be best served if you direct your comments to those who either find them amusing or logically challenging.

MRbrownJAY:

ok fair enough, i'll take your word for it (although you sound very much like him)



yet, instead of accepting the situation where his sister finds herself as CONSEQUENCES OF HER ACTIONS, he rather come here and tell us all how he hates a guy because who knows what? here is a clue for you: it's called LIFE, and unless you are married with someone, nobody has any obligations towards anyone. if the guy decided that he wanted to care for this child then he would, and if he didnt then chances are that he wont....and there is nothing anyone can do about that. this is something that his SISTER should have made sure of before having unprotected sex with this stranger. isnt her actions what got her in this predicament to begin with, why doesnt the OP biatch about that too?



i was giving the OP reasons why any men "could" do what the guy who got his sister pregnant did....since he asked why would a man do that, duh!
the OP was quick to assume and write that the guy got his sister pregnant WILLINGLY, or that it was all PLANNED.



yet you are the only one who had anything to say about what i wrote?! group at large indeed........ anyway, same goes for the group at large, lol!



what parental right are you talking about?! what natural responsibility are you dreaming about?! to have any parental rights, you first have to believe/recognize that you have a child, instead of having people trying to coerce you into doing something you are not willing to do.
to have any natural responsibilty towards a child you first have to believe/know that you are a father. the fact that he (or you) believes that any man who get a girl pregnant MUST/SHOULD become responsible that same instance, is the joke of the day, and your first fail of the week. not every person on this earth is responsible, some are and other arent........the joke is on the lady who goes ahead and have a baby with such a man, thinking that he will become responsible.


unless you write ALL MEN in your above post, what you wrote is irrelevant here, as you are saying exactly what i have been saying all along, duh!

Obviously, we're not on the same page here hence you keep missing the point, and I do not wish to keep pouring water on stone, so to speak.

Though I think I already have an insight into your rationalization process, but let me ask you this:

Do you think a father's love and provision for his child is, or should be, dependent on the state of the relationship with the mother of the child ?

This would be mostly prevented if family planning, birth control, condom education is actually a serious topic in Nigeria. If you have sex with someone and you don't take precautions, you can't come back when you get or get someone pregnant or catch a disease and complain about the wrath of God. There are no garuntees in this world except death. The sooner you start taking responsibility for the actions you participate in the sooner you would be making better decisions.

Abeg_gi:

Obviously, we're not on the same page here hence you keep missing the point, and I do not wish to keep pouring water on stone, so to speak.

Though I think I already have an insight into your rationalization process, but let me ask you this:

Do you think a father's love and provision for his child is, or should be, dependent on the state of the relationship with the mother of the child ?

lol, a father's love/provision for any child depends solely on the fact that this "father" A) knows that he has a child, B) believe/accept that he is the biological father of that said child or C) has a bond (aka any contact) with that child...... and all this is directly connected to the r/ship that this "father" has with the mother of that said child.

- if a man doesnt have contact with a woman, then how is he going to know that he is a father?
- if a man has no contact with a child then how is he going to love/bond with that said child? (as we all know that men bond differently than women)
- if a man rejects the claims that he is the father of a said child, then how could he love that said child?! (or why should he provide for that said child?)

MRbrownJAY:

lol, a father's love/provision for any child depends solely on the fact that this "father" A) knows that he has a child, B) believe/accept that he is the biological father of that said child or C) has a bond (aka any contact) with that child...... and all this is directly connected to the r/ship that this "father" has with the mother of that said child.

I don't know what your desired effect is, but I find your constant use of "LOL" highly hilarious given the fact that your comprehension here could do with some elevation...

It is implicit in the definition of "father" that he knows about the child and accepts the child as his seed. Why else would he be called a father ? Because of his cats ?

Resisting the urge to engage in circular arguements and going off on a targent, as it appears you are given to, can you at least make a reasonable attempt to answer the question ?

Ok let me help you out:

" Do you think a father's love and provision -- father meets your definition [ this "father" A) knows that he has a child, B) believe/accept that he is the biological father of that said child or C) has a bond (aka any contact) with that child ] -- for his child is, or should be, dependent on the state of the relationship with the mother of the child ?

MRbrownJAY:

- if a man doesnt have contact with a woman, then how is he going to know that he is a father?

Irrelevant to my question and straw man number 5: OP clearly implied the man left his sister on account of her being pregnant.

MRbrownJAY:

- if a man has no contact with a child then how is he going to love/bond with that said child? (as we all know that men bond differently than women)

Quintessential circular arguement: Man rejects contact with his child but argues that because he has no contact with the child he is being denied the ability to love/bond with the child.

MRbrownJAY: - if a man rejects the claims that he is the father of a said child, then how could he love that said child?! (or why should he provide for that said child?)

Irrelevant to my question and straw man number 6: I did not read anywhere the OP stated the man rejected claims that he was the father.

^^^^ the fact that you believe that a man automatically knows/believe that he is the father of a child, simply because a lady says so is your first FAIL OF THE DAY, bro Saga.
how did you confirm that he was A) the father of the child, B) he accepted the pregnancy as his own or C) that he gave a damn about this lady and her story? is that something you see in your Sagamite crystal ball again? lol!

as usual, Sagamite and his similar tactics of going on again and again asking the same dumb question, just because he doesnt like the answer. oh lawd!
you've got my answer already, but since you are blind, let me put it again:"a father's love/provision for any child depends solely on the fact that this "father" A) knows that he has a child, B) believe/accept that he is the biological father of that said child or C) has a bond (aka any contact) with that child...... and all this is directly connected to the r/ship that this "father" has with the mother of that said child."

so if i understand you correctly,if a woman is pregnant, then she automatically MUST have a child, and that child MUST be yours....simply because you were dating her?! highly laughable!

again, you ask me a question and i replied, why are you going around as you always do Mr Sagamite? you are quick to say that a father should naturally/automatically love and bond with a child and i am giving you reasons as to why that is NOT the case.

so what you are saying is that because a woman says a child is a man's, then that should be the case? a man CANNOT reject that claim? let me help you once again......let's say she cheated, let's say he is infertile, lets say he doesnt believe her etc etc, cant that be a GOOD ENOUGH reason for him to reject that pregnancy? or should we just believe whatever comes out of this womans mouth....simply because Sagamite says so?

btw no need to hide behind some fake profiles (and use your other ones to like your own post), as we all know who you are.......... just reply with your Sagamite profile, lol.

This is not the man's world.

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ the fact that you believe that a man automatically knows/believe that he is the father of a child, simply because a lady says so is your first FAIL OF THE DAY, bro Saga.
how did you confirm that he was A) the father of the child, B) he accepted the pregnancy as his own or C) that he gave a damn about this lady and her story? is that something you see in your Sagamite crystal ball again? lol!

as usual, Sagamite and his similar tactics of going on again and again asking the same dumb question, just because he doesnt like the answer. oh lawd!
you've got my answer already, but since you are blind, let me put it again:"a father's love/provision for any child depends solely on the fact that this "father" A) knows that he has a child, B) believe/accept that he is the biological father of that said child or C) has a bond (aka any contact) with that child...... and all this is directly connected to the r/ship that this "father" has with the mother of that said child."

so if i understand you correctly,if a woman is pregnant, then she automatically MUST have a child, and that child MUST be yours....simply because you were dating her?! highly laughable!

again, you ask me a question and i replied, why are you going around as you always do Mr Sagamite? you are quick to say that a father should naturally/automatically love and bond with a child and i am giving you reasons as to why that is NOT the case.

so what you are saying is that because a woman says a child is a man's, then that should be the case? a man CANNOT reject that claim? let me help you once again......let's say she cheated, let's say he is infertile, lets say he doesnt believe her etc etc, cant that be a GOOD ENOUGH reason for him to reject that pregnancy? or should we just believe whatever comes out of this womans mouth....simply because Sagamite says so?

btw no need to hide behind some fake profiles (and use your other ones to like your own post), as we all know who you are.......... just reply with your Sagamite profile, lol.

Is that it?? All I get is this ineffable emotional twaddle of a response ?

The incorporation of ad hominem attacks and the reference to somebody-come-help-me codes as in " we all know " is generally known to be an indication of someone who is beat and knows his/her position is untenable.

I am not the least bit surprised: Instead of asking questions you chose straw men; instead of logic you chose emotion; instead of critical thinking you chose specious and circular arguements; instead of yielding gracefully you chose ad hominen attacks.

This exchange all along felt like I was working with a handicapped individual... You are as intellectually stimulating as a dead fish. I am not without honour, so I shall leave you where you stand.

Olegeme: Hello Nairalanders,I hate how some Men run away from their resposibility!children are blessing given from God.
Why would a Man pregnate a woman nowing that he don't want anything to do with her?this same men go infront of people and brag off.
How can you sit down eat bele full not even think one minite has my daughter or son had anything to eat?!is she or he ok? is she or he sick?
Guys remember the strock of God is very painful and the blood of this kids will aunt you for ever.Eg how can you let another man raise your daughter
He can molest her even more!!Am writting this because am so sad that this happend to my sister.I personally have two daughters and i can never leave my blood to suffer while i enjoy.

nice.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
let me be the bearer of bad news: you sista is EQUALLY to be blamed for having a child for this guy. the fact that she decided to open her legs unprotected for him, is a simple proof that its her damn fault too......... ...

This is soooooo MBJ!

Olegeme: Hello Nairalanders,I hate how some Men run away from their resposibility!children are blessing given from God.
Why would a Man pregnate a woman nowing that he don't want anything to do with her?this same men go infront of people and brag off.
How can you sit down eat bele full not even think one minite has my daughter or son had anything to eat?!is she or he ok? is she or he sick?
Guys remember the strock of God is very painful and the blood of this kids will aunt you for ever.Eg how can you let another man raise your daughter
He can molest her even more!!Am writting this because am so sad that this happend to my sister.I personally have two daughters and i can never leave my blood to suffer while i enjoy.

What was your sister doing in the first place with such a man ... like attract like... If your sister was decent and godly .. I am sure she would have seen dis coming maybe was a bit carried away .. But i am not here to condemn anyone what has happened has happened the important thing now is to find a solution to this problem. i suggest if you have a large heart you take your sister and her child in your place until she is strong enuff to find her foot.

If u J̲̣̣̣u̶̲̥̅̊§τ̲̅ condemn †ђξ girl without hearing †ђξ whole story, then uve J̲̣̣̣u̶̲̥̅̊§τ̲̅ proved †ђξ kind of person u r.guys deceive and lie to girls J̲̣̣̣u̶̲̥̅̊§τ̲̅ to get into their pants,I would blame †ђξ guy and †ђξ girl,I knw some guys r very good in lying and ¶τ̲̅ takes a smart girl to fish out these deceivers, any guy in his rite senses shld neva deny his responsibilities