Warfibabe: ^^^^^ kobojunkie.....its obvious you dont have children yet. try to be up thru out the nite wit a child and the next morning with your red eyes see if you can touch even a cup...

then you can come here and make mouth.

I had a friend like you, even till now with 2 kids, she is still insisting that she dont want no help.. yet her house is a pigstile cus she cant keep up with cleaning. but she will be the first to call ppl lazy.



btw which white ppl are you even talking abt? even the stay at home mums still get help from their partners with children, laundry, dinner, and so on.

a lot of them dont have helps not cause they dont need one, but cause they cant afford one. i have some of them as my friends and i know they cant keep up with housecleaning daily so they do it every 2 to 3 days.

personally i like my house clean everyday, so if i cant get it by myself, i dont see why i cant hire someone else to do it for me.

@op, non living shud be preferable, but only on week days.

Even abroad with all the gadgets, its the same. Our women spend too much time on frivolities - gossiping for hours on the phone, updating FB, chatting on BBM etc. These takes too much time and it's crazy

Most Naija homes look unkempt despite the fact men do their share of the household chores. They find time to do business (selling stuff) and can't spend 3 hrs to keep the house clean. An average home in North America won't take long to clean even with kids

Some now bring little girls from home as house maid and say they're helping the girls family. Rubbish!

Kobojunkie:

It is obvious you are a lazy woman from the statements above. Not only do I take care of kids, I also sleep less than 4 hours most nights so I can get work done, both at home and my job.

So rather than try to attack people brainlessly, focus on making your case rationally.

shut up there you rat face mallu! you must be a slowpoke for not comprehending words before spewing garbage from dat your rotten mouth. you are stupidly sounding like a fuuuking desperately broken record everytime someone says 'maid' ... how E take concern you if someone desires a maid or not.. abi dem call you to come pay for the services?
it is ppl like you that cannot wash themselves clean yet go still dey disturb ppl ears with rubbish talk
if you dont like ppl helping you good! but dont go about thinking you are better than those who do...
ediotic advocate of hardworking ppl. mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww.

I love it when they prove me right !!!

To each their own.

For those who need maids either as a domestic help or to help babysit children during transition times when both parents can't be around due to work constraints, particularly in the west where childcare laws are enforced sometimes in a draconian manner, Please go ahead.

For those happy to do without for whatever reasons they hold dear, please go ahead.

It's unfair to judge others by your standards, particularly when deemed to be "too high" by common consensus.

So for the ladies who want to be able to look good on 6-7 hrs sleep whilst meeting deadlines on a daily 10-12hrs work schedule.... taking in the travel times, and having to cope with 2-3 children, particularly if they are babies or under-3 's, when the level of dependence on adults is quite high,


who want to have on board a maid or help............ GO FOR IT!!!!!

Kobojunkie:
It is not someone's life situation that you have there but MOST EVERY COUPLES life situation. Most every couple in America, for instance has that same story to deal with, yet maid services are attributed to mostly the rich in America. Look at the current election campaign to understand what I mean. Mrs Romney is today being lambasted for having maids, and everyone wants to know how many she even had growing up. and we already have evidence that not everyone in that situation hires maids. Nigerian women here in the States who find themselves in that situation either make changes in their lives to accommodate the new entry or they find ways to bribe their mother to fly all the way from Nigeria to come help them.

So please think these things through before you post em next time.

Think through what? The wife should bride her dead mother in the grave to help them ? Or tell her mother in law to resign from her job to help stay with the baby? Or the wife should also bribe her sisters to leave their husbands' house just to help her or perhaps bribe her nieces to leave school and relocate just to help with her baby? The fact that you suggest flying the mother over means you agreed that there is need for HELP. Now, where there is no family member around to render that help - What option do you have?

You said the couple should make changes in their lives to accomodate the new entry. And please, tell me what changes are you talking about here, this is Nigeria and there are no part-time jobs (though I wish there are anyway).

@ kobo junkie,
A word is enough for you o. You just like to waste bullet.
Anyway, since the people that know you too well on this forum knows your trend. I cant but agree with most comment. stop being opinionated.
I use non-live in maids.
In fact fyi, in case you change your mind and listen to word of wisdom for elders. The non-live in housekeeper i use is a from a superbly professional domestic janitorial outfit, called CleanHomeAffairs.
Their webaddy is www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Check them out kobojunkie, and tell them 9ja4us refered you. so i get a discount on your head!
Still smh 4u o

Chaulay1:

Think through what? The wife should bride her dead mother in the grave to help them ? Or tell her mother in law to resign from her job to help stay with the baby? Or the wife should also bribe her sisters to leave their husbands' house just to help her or perhaps bribe her nieces to leave school and relocate just to help with her baby? The fact that you suggest flying the mother over means you agreed that there is need for HELP. Now, where there is no family member around to render that help - What option do you have?

You said the couple should make changes in their lives to accomodate the new entry. And please, tell me what changes are you talking about here, this is Nigeria and there are no part-time jobs (though I wish there are anyway).

Your argument is not going anywhere. We know for a fact that most every couple, especially in the west where both are more likely to be working, have to deal with such at some point when they decide to start having kids, and in all cases these people come together and make decisions on how to handle the situation, and in majority of the situation hiring a maid is not the chosen option. So I don't see where you are heading and honestly I don't think you are heading anywhere beneficial with this.

Kobojunkie:

Oh please!!! If anything, men and women who do housework get their regular exercise which is good for maintaining young skin.

I just think this is lazy of Nigerian women.

I used to work with a lady here who worked 10 hours each day and still had to make time to take care of her home(make dinner, handle house chores, help her kids with their homework and still show up to deal with work projects and deliverable). You listen to her, and when you compare that to what you hear from the lazy breed of women we have in Nigeria , who don't even work full 8-hour days(work in Nigeria you cannot compare to work in the US at all), feel they need someone to help them at home and with their kids, outside of their spouse, and you wonder where the f**k we get this idea that all African women work harder.

why you dey call us lazy nau? Which one be your own sef? Please count me out of your lazy breed of women.I don't need a house help not now or in the nearest future

9ja4us: @ kobo junkie,
A word is enough for you o. You just like to waste bullet.
Anyway, since the people that know you too well on this forum knows your trend. I cant but agree with most comment. stop being opinionated.
I use non-live in maids.
In fact fyi, in case you change your mind and listen to word of wisdom for elders. The non-live in housekeeper i use is a from a superbly professional domestic janitorial outfit, called CleanHomeAffairs.
Their webaddy is www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Check them out kobojunkie, and tell them 9ja4us refered you. so i get a discount on your head!
Still smh 4u o

Abeg carry your stupid talk go bother some other person who cares.

berem!:
why you dey call us lazy nau? Which one be your own sef? Please count me out of your lazy breed of women.I don't need a house help not now or in the nearest feature!

What do you call a person who considers having and taking care of children,and home, both not FORCED on em, too much to handle? LAZY OF COURSE . . . . Why have the kids in the first place? Why buy the house you cannot take care of? Worse, what the heck are you doing with your time that it is all too much for you?

Notice how NONE , I REPEAT, NONE of the women who have commented have so far tried to make us believe they have some J.O.B that actually takes up all of their time that they have none to spare for regular chores. NONE!!

The sad part of this is even single men and women in Nigeria now hired maids to do chores and take care of their homes as well. I am like really? One lady moved from here to Nigeria some years ago. She already had her kids and never needed a maid all that while. But she changed when she got to Nigeria. Suddenly this housewife talks of how her two maids help make her "JOBLESS" life easy. The maids do practically everything for her there and I wonder if she even has any idea how she has changed.

Chaulay1: @Kobojunkie

Since you strongly feel there is no need for maid services at all, I am just wondering if there is a way out of this situation I am going to describe.

Husband and wife leave home around 7:00am to be back usually 8:00pm. Before the arrival of a baby there was no need for any maid but then wife got pregnant and and will be due for delivery soon. In her place of work, she is only entitled to 6weeks maternity leave. The couple live very far from other family members and now the question is how will they cope without a maid. The wife is considering additional 6weeks off work without pay so that d baby will be 3months before her resumption. The option of resigning to look after the baby is no go area as the wife is the major financier of the home.

Now, what are the other options she has apart from a maid(nanny) considering the fact that Daycare centres close hours before her closing time. Infact, leaving the office for daycare runs is not feasible?
(Note: wife's mum is late and mother in-law will only be available few weeks after delivery)

Will appreciate other peoples' responses as well.

I can relate with this perfectly. Had to take a live in maid. Never had any regrets cos she is like an angel and I treat her right.
Kobo pls come down from ur high horse and accept that every1 can't be like u.

smiliz:

I can relate with this perfectly. Had to take a live in maid. Never had any regrets cos she is like an angel and I treat her right.
Kobo pls come down from ur high horse and accept that every1 can't be like u.

There is no high horse here. If your own mother or grandmother was herself able to have you, and still keep her business running in Nigeria, without maids, then you probably need to first tell them to get off their high horses before you tell me to.

It is the same,but I will prefer the one that will be coming from outside

kodewrita:

those oyinbos tend to make use of gadgets for a lot of the things they do in the house. essentially they replaced slave/menial labour with devices. washing machines, vacuum cleaners, microwaves, blenders etc. Here its a bit more expensive and many africans have not made their peace with these "mysterious" devices.

You forgot Dish washer and the Dust buster. 2 of the most ridiculous of gadgets. They even have a toothbrush that will brush your teeth for you.

Chinom:

You forgot Dish washer and the Dust buster. 2 of the most ridiculous of gadgets. They even have a toothbrush that will brush your teeth for you.

No, the toothbrush will not brush your teeth for you ooo . . . that is a misconception. I just went to see the dentist this past weekend and I was told I needed to go in for deep cleaning. Yeah, I was mistaken when I thought that electric brush will take care of it all. It does not . . . so please learn from my mistake.

Kobojunkie:

There is no high horse here. If your own mother or grandmother was herself able to have you, and still keep her business running in Nigeria, without maids, then you probably need to first tell them to get off their high horses before you tell me to.

abeg make I ask you dis quesion....
What's the difference between a nanny and a housemaid?
Another question is do you think its wrong hiring a nanny? Especially when the wife's mother or mother in law is deceased.

@ KJ....

A careful reading of other comments may help correct ur opinion of female commentators being women not having jobs.

Each case should be assessed on its own merit.
A sweeping generalization is a product of a lazy mind, unwilling to engage with all facts present.

If in the UK, support ("Carer" ) help is organized by the state to help women deemed at risk, I see no reason to demonize women who can't cope with the pressures!!!!!!!!!!!


.

I am guilty of being lazy oh, I am in my thirties, Mother of 2, almost a Director in my office, work 10-12 hours a day sometimes, travel out of town fr work, run a side business, still cook and clean at home, care for my kids, I am lazy and I am happy, I am not ashamed to need help and be able to afford help.
I congratulate super women who do it all with 6-10 children, i am not one, I am just a lazy Nigerian woman, guilty as charged. I dont want to age, I have been super woman and now its time to just be a lazy, calm, loving happy wife, and I am loving it.
Being super woman made me cranky, tensed, upset and frustrated, but admitting I am lazy cant do it all and need help has made me a better wife and mother, also made me look younger prettier and hotter for Oga, I like lazy

Tedpgrass: @ KJ....A careful reading of other comments may help correct ur opinion of female commentators being women not having jobs.

Each case should be assessed on its own merit.
A sweeping generalization is a product of a lazy mind, unwilling to engage with all the facts present.

If in the UK, support ("Carer" ) help is organized by the state to help women deemed at risk, I see no reason to demonize women who can't cope with the pressures!!!!!!!!!!!

A careful reading of my comment however will help correct YOUR OPINION that I meant these women are all jobless.. . .

Kobojunkie:
Notice how NONE , I REPEAT, NONE of the women who have commented have so far tried to make us believe they have some J.O.B that actually takes up all of their time that they have none to spare for regular chores. NONE!!

I mean I have more than once stressed that our mothers and grandmothers raised 4 or more kids, and still made time to go to the market to sell their wares, or to the farm, etc.

Tedpgrass:
If in the UK, support ("Carer" ) help is organized by the state to help women deemed at risk, I see no reason to demonize women who can't cope with the pressures!!!!!!!!!!!
.

Well, in the UK too, men and women are paid by the state to have as many children as they want. I believe there was a case some years ago where a particular man and his wife were paid almost 100K pounds to take care of their 10 or 11 children. We should not demonize them as well . ..

Nice one, debrief08

Kudos to people who are realistic in their assessment of need or help,
And do not slowly age away under some ill-conceived maxim,
With poor justifications.

Kudos to debrief08 once again!!!!!

Kobojunkie:
A careful reading of my comment however will help correct YOUR OPINION that I meant these women are all jobless.. . .

I mean I have more than once stressed that our mothers and grandmothers raised 4 or more kids, and still made time to go to the market to sell their wares, or to the farm, etc.

My mother travelled a lot because of her business, so according to you she is classified as lazy because she had maids to help with the house chores and cooking....hmmmm I see.

oh brother!!! Now maids are an being sold as an anti-aging solution . . . OH BOY!!! So now those who do their own chores AGE QUICKLY?

evamathis: There will never be a grand conclusion to this argument
Its like the stay at home mom vs career mom argument
Im with kobo on this
no maids for me ,with kids and a fairly big house Im doing just fine
Theres something called Staying organized and having a routine go figure!

Kobojunior.... I appreciate your thoughts. well articulated and stated, pls teach your brother to do same.

@debrief08, you are so on point.
Hardworking kobo yapping away on his computer and dodging from his oni & son's chairman who is timing his internet usage.
Lazy women holding briefs and handing out grand ideas at their place of work, where they are directors and Managers.
Kobo & sons.....pls continue to be hardworking., pls take my advice again o. www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Infact i will get their phone numebr so they call you. Maybe just maybe becoming lazy may help u.

9ja4us:


Kobojunior.... I appreciate your thoughts. well articulated and stated, pls teach your brother to do same.

@debrief08, you are so on point.
Hardworking kobo yapping away on his computer and dodging from his oni & son's chairman who is timing his internet usage.
Lazy women holding briefs and handing out grand ideas at their place of work, where they are directors and Managers.
Kobo & sons.....pls continue to be hardworking., pls take my advice again o. www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Infact i will get their phone numebr so they call you. Maybe just maybe becoming lazy may help u.

na kobojunkie you dey yab like this rotflmao

Anywho . . . .

evamathis: There will never be a grand conclusion to this argument
Its like the stay at home mom vs career mom argument
Im with kobo on this
no maids for me ,with kids and a fairly big house Im doing just fine
Theres something called Staying organized and having a routine go figure!

I think that is part of it.

I personally think the reason Africans or non-first world societies like house help is due to cheap labor. In the west, only the filthy rich use maids, gardeners or domestic help (which includes wet nurses). Anybody ever used a babysitter in USA or UK or Australia on a regular basis? What was your monthly budget for just childcare?

[color=#990000][/color]

9ja4us: @ kobo junkie,
A word is enough for you o. You just like to waste bullet.
Anyway, since the people that know you too well on this forum knows your trend. I cant but agree with most comment. stop being opinionated.
I use non-live in maids.
In fact fyi, in case you change your mind and listen to word of wisdom for elders. The non-live in housekeeper i use is a from a superbly professional domestic janitorial outfit, called CleanHomeAffairs.
Their webaddy is www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Check them out kobojunkie, and tell them 9ja4us refered you. so i get a discount on your head!
Still smh 4u o

Whew this kobojunkie dude seems so far from reality:
@9ja4us: I have engaged those guys in ja as well and i find their service pretty exciting, very similar to my Janitor in Sugarland houston.

Abrantie: I personally think the reason Africans or non-first world societies like house help is due to cheap labor. In the west, only the wealthy use hired domestic help. Anybody ever hired a babysitter in USA or UK or Australia?

My thoughts too . . . Rent-a-maids are not cheap here. Having a full-time maid will cost a bundle . . . about $20K a year and with the new laws requiring employers provide insurance, I doubt a lot of people are doing that out in the west.

Now in Nigeria, I also doubt many of those who claim to have maids pay their maids the new minimum wage(Naira 18,000 a month). PURE SLAVERY!

Abrantie: I personally think the reason Africans or non-first world societies like house help is due to cheap labor. In the west, only the filthy rich use maids, gardeners or domestic help (which includes wet nurses). Anybody ever used a babysitter in USA or UK or Australia on a regular basis? What was your monthly budget for just childcare?

Another one from space....welcome!
Cheaplabour ko ckeaplabour ni. Pls state your preference and move on or out.
Whats with you people sef?

To educate you a bit, Uk is 800-1200pounds, America is a function of the state you stay, and average is not 20k (where is ur stats from), they calculate in hours and it ranges from $7- $15/hr. Australia?? pls ask kobojunkie.

'Cheaplabour only' my foot, Housekeepers dont need the money abi? or people that pay them the money dont have other things to do with it.
smh

@KJ,
I take on board the physical work our mothers n grandmothers did.....
However, that was a different dispensation.

1) Work was largely physical, not cerebral or (if trying to be exact) cerebellar .....
Look around u and see the 30-somethings academics who have grey hair, something unheard of before the age of 50 in our parent's generation
A far-fetched example, but still holds true.

2) There were a lot of support systems in place, ....
delegation of certain responsibilities was key....
...the village trained the child, not just the parents....
and to some degree, the responsibility was spread....


3) Not in todays world in the west, where its a solo experience,
Who do u have to delegate to..... without being labelled..negligent ??!
and that's when the govt n laws aren't dictating how to train our wards.....
And Still blame the "govt hand-shackled" parents when things go wrong!!!!!!

4) In addition to the pressures of modern day living whether out in the west or the newly westernized sectors of Africa, the stress only increases.

These are only a few reasons....... many more abound!!


Re: the story of the couple wt 10-11 children, there is no relevance to the present topic. Afterall there are numerous traditional large Irish, Mormon or gypsy families not living off the state, who don't get to the papers.

As mentioned previously, each case has to judged on its own merits.


.

Abrantie: I personally think the reason Africans or non-first world societies like house help is due to cheap labor. In the west, only the filthy rich use maids, gardeners or domestic help (which includes wet nurses). Anybody ever used a babysitter in USA or UK or Australia on a regular basis? What was your monthly budget for just childcare?

Bros house-help is no cheap.. it the partons that shortage changes the maids(parent) and get huge chunk of the money in fact in lagos there are agencies where u can get house-maids... It is big business