How Much Is Barbie?


A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied, "Which one? We have,

'Barbie goes to the gym'for $19.95 ,

'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ,

'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ,

'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95,

'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ,

and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00."

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised.

"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

Swimming With Crocodiles!


One day a wealthy man was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, women, cars, planes; anything he wanted. This guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles.

So there he was, he and his friends all standing around drinking, and partying next to the pool.

The man gets up on the life guard tower and all his friends look up. He calls for silence and says, "OK, the first person who swims across my pool will get all my money."

No one moves. Now the man looks over the crowd, draws on his joint and says, "OK, the first person who swims across my pool gets all my money and my house."

Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person who swims across my pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and planes."

Still, no one moves, not even an eye blinks at this time. "OK then, all my money, my house, all my cars, all my planes, all my property, all my stocks and bonds and investments and all the women you can handle; everything I own."

"Splash!" Someone's in the pool. Crocodiles are all over him, but he rolls over like Tarzan, he's all over the place, fighting and dodging. Finally he gets out of the pool on the other side. The rich guy on the tower jumps down and runs over to him.

"That was incredible! I never thought that I would ever see that done. Do you want the money now or later?"

"I don't want the money."

"Do you want the house now or later?"

"I don't want the house."

"Do you want the bonds, stocks and stuff now or later?"

"I don't want that either."

"Do you want the women now or later?"

"I don't want the women."

The wealthy man looks at him and says, "Well what DO you want?!?!?"

"I just want the guy who pushed me in!"

Nice One

But is C n P ^{(Copy n paste )}

This is crazily cool. Well done poster. Thumbs up

Though this is not only C&P but also remixed. . . it's still funny.

Joke: Reading The Scripture
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house.

Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "STOP! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven."

As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody.

As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar.

"She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

Hilarious Work Joke: Human Resources Helpful Hints

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them. If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche.

If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk.

If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.

If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, Public Relations would suit them well.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to

What those bra size 'letters' mean ,

A for Almost there
B for Barely boobs
C for Can live with these
D for Damn good
E for Enormous
F for FAKE!

/

Youdondeymad, seen bruh..

I will send u a msg on whatsapp. U can edit your number now..

Cc: sirfee.

One love bruh.

Smellymouth:
Youdondeymad, seen bruh..
I will send u a msg on whatsapp. U can edit your number now..
Cc: sirfee.
One love bruh.

Ok boss,gratias