At the end of the day, it's all a matter of "Whatever rocks your boat!".

Church wedding or no church wedding all i know be say when u don let evry body know and ur people and the babe people don agree to make una husband and wife then they pray to God my dear there is nothing in it u re both legally married if e rich my turn to marry i no think say i go do church wedding cos traditioal don do for me and i no care weyting the pastor or church go say about am B/cos God know say i no kidnapp her put for my house na marry i marry her so no wahala

Hey, what's the big deal about "White Wedding"? I don't think the ceremony itself deserves the title "Holy Matrimony". What's so holy about gay and lesbian white weddings in full view of the public?

I think the real marriage is in the hearts of the couple and also with the consent of their parents. If a couple has gone as far as doing their Traditionals (i.e. declaring your assets in public) I don't see why they have to wait till the white wedding to pop that bottle!

Again, wedding ceremonies (White or Traditional) costs mega bucks these days, I think it's only fair to plan for the day to be as special as a once-in-a-lifetime event which it is.

Cheers

THERE WOULDNT BE SO MUCH CONFUSION IF WE REALLY CONSIDER WHAT MARRIAGE CEREMONY IS ALL ABOUT. BEFORE THE COMING OF THE WHITEMAN WAS THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE A SIN? EVEN OUR LAW COURTS ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE AS BINDING AND CONSTITUTES A VALID MARRIAGE, ALBEIT A LITTLE LESS VALUABLE THAN ONE CONDUCTED UNDER THE MARRIAGE ACT WHICH IS THE REGISTRY OR DONE IN CHURCH BUT WITH THE PERMISSION OF THE REGISTRAR OF MARRIAGES.
PEOPLE BE AWARE THAT IF YOU GO TO CHURCH FOR A PASTOR TO BLESS YOUR UNION IT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A VALID MARRIAGE WITHOUT MORE, GOD SAYS WE SHOULD RESPECT THE LAW AND THE LAW SAYS ONCE YOU CONDUCT A MARRIAGE IN LINE WITH ITS PROVISIONS YOU'RE LEGALLY MARRIED. DONT THROW AWAY YOUR CULTURE UNDER THE MISDIRECTION OF WRONG DOCTRINES. I AM A BORN-AGAIN BELIEVER BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH BECAUSE I AM ALSO A LAWYER AND KNOW THE CONDITIONS FOR WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED MARRIED. BECAUSE A MOSLEM DOES NOT GO TO CHURCH DOES THAT MAKE HIM A FORNICATOR? THERE WERE NO SYNAGOGUES BACK IN THE TIME OF ABRAHAM, DID HE FORNICATE WITH SARAH?
THE CHURCH CEREMONY AFTER THE TRADITIONAL AND REGISTRY IS MORE LIKE THANKSGIVING THAN THE REAL DEAL WHICH HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE.

The traditional wedding is the real deal, the church wedding is just a blessing. If you do not do the traditional wedding no church will wed bless you.

Furthermore, the whites brought the church wedding that is why it is called the white wedding. Please don't let Whites keep deceiving us that what we have is not real  or valid and theirs is real.

Blackcat:

The traditional wedding is the real deal, the church wedding is just a blessing. If you do not do the traditional wedding no church will wed bless you.

Furthermore, the whites brought the church wedding that is why it is called the white wedding. Please don't let Whites keep deceiving us that what we have is not real  or valid and theirs is real.

yeah u are right,were they white wedding during the new testament time( JESUS' TIME)?nairalanders pls dont fooled.the real wedding is when u ask for ur wife to be hands in marriage from his parents and they give THEIR CONSENT.PARENTAL CONSENT iS what is really required of u to marry.even in the church the father has to hand in the hand of his daughter to the pastor meaning PARENTAL CONSENT! HABA!
If u marry in the church and negelect traditional wedding,boy! u are still wallowing in sin! hell is your destination!

someone said that White gown is the symbol of purity? I think it is the veil which represents the hymen. The hymen is supposed to be the veil that protects the alter until the right priest comes for offering.

If by means of fornication the veil has been removed, then you should have no business with a veil and not the white gown. As usual, non is meant to show the purity of the dude.

The traditional wedding is the real deal, the church wedding is just a blessing. If you do not do the traditional wedding no church will wed bless you.

Furthermore, the whites brought the church wedding that is why it is called the white wedding. Please don't let Whites keep deceiving us that what we have is not real or valid and theirs is real.

Blackcat I'm happy someone feels this the way I do. We are so quick to discard our values in favor of the colonial masters. I hear prior to Saint Valentine white weddings were not a major thing, he died fighting to preserve that culture

the good news is that the nigerian govt now recognises traditional marriages as legally acceptable and one can get a marriage certificate from the authorities after a traditional marriage and it will stand as a bonafide document anywhere in the world. and the post traditional wedding hammering is legal in heaven

It depends on ones` values.But I beleive as long as the pastor has pronounced his blessing on the couple, which oftentimes,  is done at the traditional wedding venue, why not go ahead.The important thing is, let the `food be blessed before u start eating,`

After the traditional marriage ceremony, which is basically a solemn exchange of vows and public declaration of their union, they are free to 'chop', there's is no such thing as 'sin' in that case.

I still continue to wonder when certain Nigerians will be able to differentiate between culture and religion.
Though it is clear that they both seems now twained together, albeit they are two different things. Each tribes of the world always have their original culture before any foreigner comes around to contaminate it, so is the case in Nigeria. Marriages happens many years before the invasion and overnight transformation of our great-grand-father's belief by the colonial masters ( Arabs and the illusioned white skinned). The act of marriage in  any tribe in Nigeria is submerged into such tribe's culture. By standard most marriages today take this trend: Introduction, Traditional, Engagement, Registry or Nikai(Mosque) or Church ( refered as white wedding). I am not sure of the hausas,but I am sure yorubas do introduction , engagement and then the wedding of their choice based on religion. Igbos do traditional wedding after introduction and may move on to the next as it also relates to the yorubas. From this view it is noted that an engagement and traditional wedding is valued to Nigerians before the church , registry or Mosque. This in common cultural sense means we know our culture and must not be thrown off because of a white man induced culture.

Now to the main topic

By religious understanding, if you accept the christian faith devotedly, you will understand that the church is for the blessings on a marriage of consent between the couple, their parents and made openly known to the public. The church has no biblical right to join two that are yet to seek and accept the agreement of their parents.

A pronounced white wedding attracts the usage of a white wedding gown  which apparently is not any of the nigerian tribe attire, neither was christianity or islamic part of us some 150 years ago.

Conclusion: So far the two parents agrees to your relationship in a formal way (engagement or traditional) through bride price and it is declared to the general public by any form of the legal media method, you are married and the pear can be peeled.

Note : However if after your traditional and/or  engagement, you plan, intend, aspire or believe you need a church wedding then tarry till you do it, for the white wedding gown is a symbolic attire of virginity from the whiteman. Ask yourself; am I qualified to wear it (as woman)  or am I qualified to do it
( as a man) based on the religious value of this attire placed by those who brought it to us, your conscience will answer you. Two people don't fall ignorant of lies, if the liar does not know he/she is lying the person lied to will know.
If you need a traditional wedding alone go ahead for the sacred valley after then, but if you need to take blessings from the church then HOLD IT to fulfil all righteousness.
As for me, after introduction, I know I will proceed to engagement then church wedding when the time comes and these last two will be done in 1 weekend, I will now wait to see the gateman who will close doors!

Abegi! Weddding na wedding Jo!  

So far both parties and parents consent, then whats stopping 'em couples from copulating?  

Am no talking about eloping and secret wedding ishes, neither am i talking of Ramsey Nouah stealing Genevieve from her father , _{Pete Edochie} and then eloping without Edochie's consent   .

Am saying if 'em parents have agreed there is a wedding and indeed a Marriage if Otapiapia has been poured on the ground and 'em Old mens goro teeth have chewed the damn Kolanuts. Whats Y'all waiting for again? Are you waiting for the girls abuna to catch fire or pherhaps you are waiting for the Holy See in Rome to come consecrate the abuna itself and the bed the deed would be done on?

Sincerely, there is a downward spiral decline in the belief of our customs, norms and traditions. While, am not a Sango and Amadioha apologists, I believe our traditons has its own place. Its like the Bibilcal "Render to Ceasers to whats Ceasers and Render Gods own to God". Like people have written earlier, so what happens to people whose parents did only the traditional ceremony with brideprice, are they products of a cheap drunk Ogogoro fuxks?

Do people even Know this concept of church Marriage is still relatively knew in Nigeria? Am not saying marriage of the 1970's or even 80's. I wouldn't blame the folks saying it's a sin to shag one's wife after a trado ceremony afterall many of us were born during this timeframe when mushroom churches began springing everywhere. I hope Y'alls views weren't shaped by 'em Pastors cos most of them are products of the "Ogogoro, clabash & Kolanut system". So does that make them an end product of fornication? I thunkest not!  

court wedding: accepted by GOD. it protects in a legal sense.
traditional wedding: accepted by GOD: its the tradition of the land where you are from or whatever.
church wedding: accepted by GOD. You will all agree with this.

if i say all 3 are accepted why the conflict:

because in nigeria or do i say in africa or whatever most people get married three times unknown to them.

in the days of our fathers were there church weddings ? i guess no, except on rare occasions. why were they cohabiting and bringing forth kids? because it was moral.

ANY ONE OF THE ABOVE WEDDINGS CAN STAND ON ITS OWN WITHOUT THE NEED FOR THE OTHER, THE PROBLEM IS WE ASSOCIATE THE CHURCH WITH GOD'S BLESSING AND PURITY.

IF YOU START SLEEPING WITH YOUR WIFE AFTER THE TRADITIONAL, THEN FORGET ABOUT THE CHURCH, BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO TO THE CHURCH YOU WILL START TAKING YOUR MARITAL VOWS AFRESH.

Don't even think there is need for the so called white wedding anymore. Mind u, the lady u are getting married is not a virgin, so, what does the white nonsense represent then? Give the required money to ur wife-to-be parents (traditional marriage) and take ur sweetheart home and life continues. What do u mean by that? After the traditional' marriage expenses, invite another expense in the name of church wedding and take my wife home borrowing money right? God forbid!

BEAUTIFUL QUESTION, WHEREVER TWO OR MORE ARE GATHERED IN THE NAME OF GOD, THERE HE IS IN THERE MIDST.WHATEVER IS ORDAINED ON EARTH IN THE NAME OF THE LORD IS ORDAINED IN HEAVEN.
ONCE THE PARENTS OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM AGREE FOR THE COUPLES TO COME TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY BRING THEM 2GETHER, THE SOLUMNIZATION IS SEALED,BOTH ON EARTH AND IN HEAVEN. SO TEIR BODIES NOW BELONG TO EACH OTHER.
THE JEW'S WHILE HELD IN CAPTIVITY IN BABYLON DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO JERUSALEM TO SEEK GOD. ALL THEY DID WAS FACE IN THE DIRECTION OF JERUSALEM AND THEIR PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED,PRONTO!. THERE ARE OTHER COUNTLESS EXAMPLES TOO.GOD ALMIGHTY IS EVERYWHERE.MARRIAGE UNION CAN BE SEALED ANYWHERE AS LONG AS GOD IS CALLED INTO IT.
THAT IS MY HONEST OPINION!

It may interest many to know that many of this white or Church wedding are not pure. Some culture respect Virginty and I think God may approve of such culture over an unfaithful ceremony called wedding.

How many men can claim that, they did not touch their wife to be before traditional/white wedding. You will be marvelled that the ratio will be 9:1

Lets end the hypocrisy.

Traditional wedding na wedding! B4 the whites came to africa, were we not getting married in our own way? So are we saying everything done in the "western style" is the only "good" thing? dunno sef!

I think this church or white wedding thing be giving a critical look and neccessary orientation be given to people about it. Imagine someone will go and commit abortion because you want to be wedded in church or in white robe.

Fear God

Marriage is an institution ordained by God. In our society (Nigeria) we have three type of wedding (1) Traditional (2) Court (3) Church. Any of these three can stand alone and is accectable before God. Just that we love to do all or any combination of the three. If you make up your mind to have all the three, then it will be wrong if you start having sex after say the traditional wedding and the church wedding pending. The church wedding is not a compulsion. Like someone rightly said you can invite your Pastor for blessings during the traditional wedding and that could be all. Since some churches are incorporated and others are not, you will notice that for couple wedding in incorporated churches, they need not go to registry for JOINING, they only go for filings. But for those using non incorporated churches they will have to do JOINING in the registry before the church wedding (in most cases). So you are at liberty to decide how far you want to go concerning these three, but if you choose to have the three, then wait till after the completion of all before sex.

Richylaw my guy , nice one. Any attempt or group of attempts to close door,

From a legal point of view,a marriage in |Nigeria could either be statutory (that is under the Marriage Act) or under Native Law and custom.A marriage contracted either way is a valid mariage.One erroneous view Nigerians subscribe to is the fact that one's not validly married till he or she is wedded in a church.Let me state for sake of emphasis that a church wedding is a mere celebration of a marriage which has been validly contracted either under native law or the Marriage Act.It therefore follows that a church wedding is a mere aftermath from the legal point of view which will not invalidate a marriage if it is not carried out.
From this,it also follows that once a traditional marriage has been validly contracted,both parties can claim the status of being husband and wife and any act of consumation which follows will not be regarded as adultery,fornication or immorality (or wateva else it may be known as).
my candid opinion

I truly appreciate the person who started this post although i will like to add my few lines from the Islamic point of view.

For a marriage to be valid in Islam the following conditions must be met:

1) Consent of the two parties (intending bride and groom)
2) At least 2 Adult witnesses
3) " Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride
4) A Ma'zoon (a responsible person officiating the marriage ceremony)

All the above in place, the two individuals are married! Even if the above is done within the four walls of a living room or traditional marriage setting, they are married! Its very simple there should be no back and forth about this - they have the consent of their parents with few or more extended family members and the case may be and there was enough blessing on the union.

What else?

For a marriage to be valid in Islam the following conditions must be met

Marriage between Man and Women?

With all the poeple advocating this "white" wedding, I am surprised no one has ever bothered to find out the origin. Come on people, google it. The "white tradition" originated in Egypt where it was the ceremonial dress for brides (just like in India, it is red). The practice was later on adopted by European royals, and passed on to commoners.

As far as this girl is concerned irrespective of the place you get married (church, family compound, field) the wedding is valid in the eyes of God as long as your Dad (or his stand in) gave you away, accepting in exchange a gift (money, goat, honey or a prayer) from your husband to be and his family (or their reps) and your husband and his family accepted your hand and the couple, family and well wishers all prayed at the handing over ceremony. Unless you pray to idols or the devil at home and to God in the church I really don't see why you consider yourself any less married than you would be in church.

We cannot help it that we live in a shallow society that clings onto superficial practices and so, the white gown, church building, etc are more important even if you have gbenshed a billion times. To fulfill all righteousness, the average, "properly" married Nigerian couple has 3 marriages (trad - to guard against insults from the man and his family and yours when they all deny they ever had a hand in your leaving; court - to protect you and your kids from being thrown out of that house you both laboured to build if anything goes wrong, and religious - so we can go to heaven(?) or just to prove to the world that we are worthy enough to go to heaven (until that day).

To avoid being labeled a fornicator, do it as the Yorubas do: Trad today, church tomorrow. That way, there's no in between and no one will call you a LovePeddler.

I always thought that even after the introduction - then we can start the koko of the matter.
Oga o me i have definitely thought like a sinner.

I was always under the intention that when u have the introduction, traditional, then u are married.

why make a big deal out of this when sex b4 marriage is ,
well , i dont know if it's fornication

ifewunmi:

I truly appreciate the person who started this post although i will like to add my few lines from the Islamic point of view.

For a marriage to be valid in Islam the following conditions must be met:

1)  Consent of the two parties (intending bride and groom)
2)  At least 2 Adult witnesses
3)  " Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride
4)  A Ma'zoon (a responsible person officiating the marriage ceremony)

can we still call islamic thing marriage?
1)  Consent of the two parties (intending bride and groom)
but the islamic is always one ,man and plenty wives.Marriage is suppose to be between one man and woman i.e Adam and Eve.pls dont be offended oo,am just wondering

iceland:

can we still call islamic thing marriage?
1) Consent of the two parties (intending bride and groom)
but the islamic is always one ,man and plenty wives.Marriage is suppose to be between one man and woman i.e Adam and Eve.please don't be offended oo,am just wondering

As much as Islam permits men to have up till four wives, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

Al-Qur'an (4:3) If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers - you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship.

But in common life, usually the first part in the above quote from the Qur'an is omitted and what we hear is stated below:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Al-Qur`an (4:3)

Re: This Is Not Fornication,or Is It?
« #8 on: January 11, 2008, 12:52 AM »

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