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Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Nobody: 2:52pm On Sep 18, 2012
kulyie: Nice points but d truth of d matter is dat many girls are caught up with getin d ring by fire by force without knowing d giver of d ring wel
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by johnkent(m): 2:53pm On Sep 18, 2012
Has he slept with another man Good info to know

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by unwanaabasi(m): 3:03pm On Sep 18, 2012
ITbomb: I'm sure Pastor Okotie knew all this and even counselled his members on this .
Things just happen .
Let God be a part of your relationship and u'll experience bliss.
Nice inspiring points
tnx mehn cos i think a man wil b a victim of 1 of this so wt God in ur marriage, peace wil hv itz place
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Nobody: 3:05pm On Sep 18, 2012
honeric01:

Not entirely true. humans are unpredictable but men are less unpredictable.

There is tendency for a man to put up a facade in a relationship only for him to change when he finally marries.most men impoverise when and where necessary to get what they want.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by BeraBera(f): 3:12pm On Sep 18, 2012
Good.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by demitola(m): 3:15pm On Sep 18, 2012
Nice points, doh as common place as they may seem, we musnt assume evry 'lovebird' out there really commits all dis 2 mind. Many see dia present rltnship as jst 4 fun and dont acknowlegde d business aspect of it

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by hustla(m): 3:18pm On Sep 18, 2012
This Post has refused to be hidden
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by sophi(f): 3:21pm On Sep 18, 2012
kulyie: Nice points but d truth of d matter is dat many girls are caught up with getin d ring by fire by force without knowing d giver of d ring wel
thank u
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by tunapawizzy: 3:40pm On Sep 18, 2012
and u forgot to add d most important one...which is Sex preference ....u should know ur fiance's opinion (and most importantly ability) in sexuuual matters (anal and oral inclusive)
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by TYTAN(m): 3:47pm On Sep 18, 2012
just invite the FBI to do a background check.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by honeric01(m): 3:56pm On Sep 18, 2012
~Bluetooth:


There is tendency for a man to put up a facade in a relationship only for him to change when he finally marries.most men impoverise when and where necessary to get what they want.

Just like i said, humans are unpredictable in nature but men are less unpredictable.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Mynd44: 3:58pm On Sep 18, 2012
~Bluetooth:


Men are unpredictable .
Not just men. Humans are unpredictable
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by belemzy: 3:59pm On Sep 18, 2012
All correct @OP. I love every point stated here.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Okijajuju1(m): 4:01pm On Sep 18, 2012
Religion Atheist.. She dont like it, but thats the way it is.. Love me for me, and not my religion I tell her..\

Bad Habits She knows.. I smoke, drink and dont do drugs.. Except Cannabis!

Children She knows I want 6 kids.. Shes been pleading with me to compromise at 3.. the jury is still out on this...

Health I'm as healthy as a stud.. I fhuck like a Rabbit.. Exercise.. Play Football on the weekends as well..

Money Though we are not married, she controls the finances.. She has my account Passwords, Tokens, Cheques books and also my E-mail addresses and Passwords.. Not for any other reason ther than the fact that I know shes good with money and I'm too lazy to handle financial issues.. I make the money, she spends the money.. Moreover, she has a good job with a fat salary as well so whats there to hide?

Skeletons in the Closet Yup!! She knows all my lifes history and I know hers.. Some issues in her past are still a problem, but I love her enough to work through them..

Interests She is an extrovert, I'm an Introvert.. I love being all by my alone, playing video games and have my boys come over on the weekends and chill with me and watch TV and play soccer.. She loves ging out (not necessarily to the club), but to movies and shows.. She ikes travels and vacations.. I can do vacations as it involves just the two of us, but I hate crowds so we have a little problem there.. But thats wat a relationship is all about.. COMPROMISE!!

Family I love my Family.. Very close to my Parents and Siblings.. Fight almost everyday with my mum.. So what?! I dont have any extended Family relatives on either side of the Family that I'm cool with.. She on the Other hand is from a large family with many siblings, uncles and Aunties.. That shiiit gives me the creeps.. I hate extended family baggage.. But she has promised to shield me from what ever drama that comes from her extended relatives..


Temperament I can lose my temper in a second.. But with us, we fight, Quarrel and the fhuck like rabbits to ressolve issues..

Style She runs my style, wardrobe, shoes, the house and all.. All I do is make money, fhuck her and love her like shes supposed to be Loved..

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Reference(m): 4:10pm On Sep 18, 2012
No man (woman) alive can do all these, but its worth a try.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by coolgeorge: 4:14pm On Sep 18, 2012
@Op Thats a Job well done, quite insightful!
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by destinedtee(m): 4:28pm On Sep 18, 2012
A very nice thread...God bless u OP.....Thanks.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by God2man(m): 5:07pm On Sep 18, 2012
Timijo: No one wants to be surprised to find that their new spouse has a serious drinking problem or is a complete slob. There are certain fundamental issues that need to be resolved before two people enter into a marriage. Until you've lived with someone for a while or been in a long relationship, it's hard to know almost everything about them. Open the lines of communication and have a series of heart-to-heart talks about the things that matter most.



Religion
How important is your fiance's religion to him? It's important to be on the same religious page as the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. If one of you is religious but the other isn't, conflict will likely arise regarding the wedding. Later on, once you have kids, the question of raising them in a church or temple will cause conflict if you have different ideas about religion.

Bad Habits
Is your fiance a slob? Does he drink too much? Is gambling his weakness? Find out whether your fiance has any bad habits that you won't be able to live with. Discuss them openly and come to a consensus regarding the habit. But be careful: even if he promises to change, don't count on his word for it. Make sure the change has been made before tying the knot, or you may find yourself married to his bad habits for the long haul.

Children
Does he want children? People rarely change their minds about this issue, so don't marry him if he wants eight kids and you have no desire for even one. Similarly, even if you both want children, do you agree on how to raise them? If one of you believes in spanking and the other is completely against any form of corporal punishment, can you come to an agreement for a compromise? The time to consider religion, discipline and parenting philosophies is before you marry him and begin having children.

Health
Is your fiance healthy? If you're a nonsmoking exercise machine and he's a chain-smoking couch potato, you will likely have some conflict in your marriage. Likewise, what can you expect in the long run? Does he have a long family history of cancer or heart disease? Does he take preventative measures to avoid the same fate? Health issues should not preclude you from marrying the man you love, but knowing ahead of time what you can expect will save a lot of worrying later on, and will help you help him live a long, healthy life.

Money
How does your fiance handle his finances? If he's saddled with debt, it will become your debt too, once you're married. If he's thrifty to the point of being cheap, and you like to spend money on luxurious items, you can bet there will be conflict in the marriage. You and your fiance will need to talk this through thoroughly and come to a compromise to keep the peace. If one of you is an excellent saver, perhaps the other can give you a certain percentage of his or her paycheck to put away each month. If one of you is a prolific spender, work out a budget for spending and stick to it. If you're both terrible with money, make an appointment to see a financial planner before you tie the knot.

Skeletons in the Closet
Does your fiance have a secret life? Find out as much as you can from him about his history. If he has an ex-wife and two kids living in another state, you need to know about this now, not later. His skeletons may not change the way you feel about him, and most of them shouldn't, but keeping important secrets from each other is a certain death knell for your marriage, which must be based on honesty and respect in order to work.

Interests
How important are his personal interests, and do they match yours, at least a little? If he's an avid hunter, you will likely be alone a lot during hunting season. Are you okay with that? If he's a sports fanatic and you can't name even one major league team, be prepared to plan events around his sports-watching schedule. It's not necessary--in fact, it's not healthy--to have the exact same interests, but knowing ahead of time what he's fanatical about will help you cope with any obsessions once you're married.

Family
What is his relationship like with his family? His conflicts will become your conflicts. Likewise, if he's still very attached to his mother, expect some difficult years ahead as you struggle to be the number one woman in his life. How he handles his relationships will clue you in to how he will handle his relationship with you and with your children. Pay attention and watch for any red flags, such as petty grudges and disrespectful behavior toward his family.

Temperament
Does your fiance have road rage? Is he way too complacent about things he should be concerned about? Having similar temperaments is ideal for marriage. If one of you handles stress by shutting down and the other gets frustrated and upset, you will have rough times ahead of you. Pay attention to his attitude and how he handles himself in difficult situations. Keep in mind that changing his temperament will be virtually impossible, and what you see is what you will get in marriage.

Style
Look around your fiance's personal space. Is his baseball cap collection the focal point of his living room? Is he willing to have his bad taste relegated to a secret room in the basement? Discuss ahead of time how your house will look once you are married. If you can't abide the wagon wheel coffee table, tell him so. If he's unwilling to part with it, you may need to learn to love it, or expect some serious arguments over furniture and decor.




http://www.ehow.com/info_12147865_10-things-girl-should-her-fiance-before-marriage.html

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by God2man(m): 5:10pm On Sep 18, 2012
Timijo: No one wants to be surprised to find that their new spouse has a serious drinking problem or is a complete slob. There are certain fundamental issues that need to be resolved before two people enter into a marriage. Until you've lived with someone for a while or been in a long relationship, it's hard to know almost everything about them. Open the lines of communication and have a series of heart-to-heart talks about the things that matter most.



Religion
How important is your fiance's religion to him? It's important to be on the same religious page as the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. If one of you is religious but the other isn't, conflict will likely arise regarding the wedding. Later on, once you have kids, the question of raising them in a church or temple will cause conflict if you have different ideas about religion.

Bad Habits
Is your fiance a slob? Does he drink too much? Is gambling his weakness? Find out whether your fiance has any bad habits that you won't be able to live with. Discuss them openly and come to a consensus regarding the habit. But be careful: even if he promises to change, don't count on his word for it. Make sure the change has been made before tying the knot, or you may find yourself married to his bad habits for the long haul.

Children
Does he want children? People rarely change their minds about this issue, so don't marry him if he wants eight kids and you have no desire for even one. Similarly, even if you both want children, do you agree on how to raise them? If one of you believes in spanking and the other is completely against any form of corporal punishment, can you come to an agreement for a compromise? The time to consider religion, discipline and parenting philosophies is before you marry him and begin having children.

Health
Is your fiance healthy? If you're a nonsmoking exercise machine and he's a chain-smoking couch potato, you will likely have some conflict in your marriage. Likewise, what can you expect in the long run? Does he have a long family history of cancer or heart disease? Does he take preventative measures to avoid the same fate? Health issues should not preclude you from marrying the man you love, but knowing ahead of time what you can expect will save a lot of worrying later on, and will help you help him live a long, healthy life.

Money
How does your fiance handle his finances? If he's saddled with debt, it will become your debt too, once you're married. If he's thrifty to the point of being cheap, and you like to spend money on luxurious items, you can bet there will be conflict in the marriage. You and your fiance will need to talk this through thoroughly and come to a compromise to keep the peace. If one of you is an excellent saver, perhaps the other can give you a certain percentage of his or her paycheck to put away each month. If one of you is a prolific spender, work out a budget for spending and stick to it. If you're both terrible with money, make an appointment to see a financial planner before you tie the knot.

Skeletons in the Closet
Does your fiance have a secret life? Find out as much as you can from him about his history. If he has an ex-wife and two kids living in another state, you need to know about this now, not later. His skeletons may not change the way you feel about him, and most of them shouldn't, but keeping important secrets from each other is a certain death knell for your marriage, which must be based on honesty and respect in order to work.

Interests
How important are his personal interests, and do they match yours, at least a little? If he's an avid hunter, you will likely be alone a lot during hunting season. Are you okay with that? If he's a sports fanatic and you can't name even one major league team, be prepared to plan events around his sports-watching schedule. It's not necessary--in fact, it's not healthy--to have the exact same interests, but knowing ahead of time what he's fanatical about will help you cope with any obsessions once you're married.

Family
What is his relationship like with his family? His conflicts will become your conflicts. Likewise, if he's still very attached to his mother, expect some difficult years ahead as you struggle to be the number one woman in his life. How he handles his relationships will clue you in to how he will handle his relationship with you and with your children. Pay attention and watch for any red flags, such as petty grudges and disrespectful behavior toward his family.

Temperament
Does your fiance have road rage? Is he way too complacent about things he should be concerned about? Having similar temperaments is ideal for marriage. If one of you handles stress by shutting down and the other gets frustrated and upset, you will have rough times ahead of you. Pay attention to his attitude and how he handles himself in difficult situations. Keep in mind that changing his temperament will be virtually impossible, and what you see is what you will get in marriage.

Style
Look around your fiance's personal space. Is his baseball cap collection the focal point of his living room? Is he willing to have his bad taste relegated to a secret room in the basement? Discuss ahead of time how your house will look once you are married. If you can't abide the wagon wheel coffee table, tell him so. If he's unwilling to part with it, you may need to learn to love it, or expect some serious arguments over furniture and decor.




http://www.ehow.com/info_12147865_10-things-girl-should-her-fiance-before-marriage.html
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by dspices(m): 5:11pm On Sep 18, 2012
kulyie: Nice points but d truth of d matter is dat many girls are caught up with getin d ring by fire by force without knowing d giver of d ring wel
for any relationship or marriage to work out then there should be inversely or rather re-circle of 60% to 40% of love between the two people,because there always a time to hate or to love.check,study and analysis every occurrence before agreement.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Nobody: 5:14pm On Sep 18, 2012
honeric01: Nice...interest has alot to do with a healthy relationship, if when courting, you guys can't find anything interesting to do together, believe me, it's going to be SO BORING when you're married.
How do u know that? Mention one marriage that hasn't had monumental stretches of boredom and I'll suggest u go to a mirror to see a reflection of someone who just doesn't get it.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by dspices(m): 5:14pm On Sep 18, 2012
d_spices:
for any relationship or marriage to work out then there should be inversely or rather re-circle of 60% to 40% of love between the two people,because there always a time to hate or to love.check,study and analysis every occurrence before agreement.
only MADWOMAN make a home but not a family thus, once home is found l will tell love would be celebrated.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by okooloyun1(m): 5:19pm On Sep 18, 2012
.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Lalaska(m): 5:29pm On Sep 18, 2012
Valid issue identified here. Well done.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by dandadee: 5:29pm On Sep 18, 2012
'how does he like to f**k'...lets not pretend that s.ex isnt important in marriage.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Nimi22(f): 5:36pm On Sep 18, 2012
@op nice thread. Thanks for d piece.
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by okooloyun1(m): 5:47pm On Sep 18, 2012
Kingsleyinfo: @OP

very valid points indeed

but to the average Nigerian,
they get married before asking these questions.

....
That is the reason why many marriages failed coz this days people don't prepare for marriage they only prepare in marriage especially ladies that want to marry by fire by thunder you hear them saying;
* - I will learn how to cook when i got married
* - I can't do laundry am not a slave
* - my fiance life is complicated well,i will know him better when i got married even some people can't play the bed game to your satisfaction they will tell you am not a LovePeddler. My point is whatever issues you might be struggling with your fiance now pls clear them out b4 going into the real thing coz if you don't pack-well b4 getting married you will pack-up and if care is not taking when you are repackaging yourself you might likely pack-out.

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by dayokanu(m): 6:31pm On Sep 18, 2012
You also need to know how she loves to be beaten.

if Its just slaps or blows, Belts or wire.

:8

1 Like

Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by Nobody: 6:45pm On Sep 18, 2012
dayokanu: You also need to know how she loves to be beaten.

if Its just slaps or blows, Belts or wire.

:8
lol grin
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by DExplorer1: 7:12pm On Sep 18, 2012
Are these the answers to divorce?
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by ijcu(m): 7:20pm On Sep 18, 2012
Jumicke: @ Op, I really love this post. I've always wanting 2 know some of d things dat causes problem in marriage. Once again thanks@ Op, I really love this post. I've always wanting 2 know some of d things dat causes problem in marriage. Once again thanks@ Op, I really love this post. I've always wanting 2 know some of d things dat causes problem in marriage. Once again thanks


hmmmmmmmmm ihe na eme...
Re: Things Every Girl Should Know About Her Fiance Before Marriage by ghettodreamz(m): 7:59pm On Sep 18, 2012
@Timijo;

Nice one! But let me add this, 'Good communication'. His he the type that discuss with you? If not all, but some of the things he goes or he's going through and wanted to seek for your advice on how to go about things? Or is he an egocentric or self-opinionated person? Relationship is a union between 2 people and the 2 should always talk and discuss about things together, 2 heads are by far better than just one. When he discuss things with you and always ready to share his day or plans with you for you 2 to discuss it and make a decision together, then you have won a jackpot, lol. In a relationship where there is always good communication between the 2, chances of conflict and misunderstanding reduces and therein reduces occurrence of arguments too.

Relationship/Marriage should be a 2 way streets and should not be single sided, just my two pennies worth.

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