The rate at which marriages/relationships collapse now is almost assuming an acceptable celebrity status in our society.

In few years time, people will be throwing divorce parties, invites will be sent out calling friends to celebrate their divorce anniversaries. Won a mu aso-ebi, hire a hall, won a pe musician....even a question like "..so when are you getting divorced?" will be commonplace.

If u know u can't handle the weight and pressure of marriage, please remain single.

If u don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until u do.

If u are getting married because of the things u desire or hope to gain from the other person, or to satisfy your fantasies, please remain single.

Don't get married out of desperation because u think u are getting too old.

Don't just get married because of the pressure being mounted on u by your families. They are not the one getting married- you are!

You desire a successful home but your choice of friends are those whose marriages have collapsed. It is so simple- they'll make u drink from their poisoned chalice. Once that happens, your marriage is on a process of dying a slow death.

Be very mindful of where u go seeking for advice.

Guys, if u know u can't stay responsible please remain single until you mature. There's no way u can abandon the care of your family at the expense of your lifestyle. They are your priority and everything else including u comes last.
You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard, the spiritual leader, the role model- u are not a deity. Don't expect to be worshipped! You need respect, earn it by being responsible!

Ladies, if u know u can't be submissive please don't go into marriage ki won ma fi lilu ba ti e je.

If u know you can't stand being corrected, please marry yourself. Don't throw away your spinsterhood garment if u see respect as a big deal.

Please check your domestic scorecard - if your score is zero, please stay at your parent's home

marriage is the second day after wedding. If all you aim at is putting on a white garment.. then you're a pauper! . .sit back at your moma's house

Errr. . .You forgot the part about both submitting to each other (it comes right before the wife submitting to husband). You also forgot the men loving their wives as Christ loved the church part. . .which comes after the Wife Submitting to husband part.

Mind you, I don't think you did on purpose, I understand those two sections show up blank in many people. . .men's Bibles. Now I am not a conspiracy theorists but I suspect someone at the printers deliberately left that part out.

Not to worry though, I am looking into it. In the meantime, I'm always here to remind you. Oh no! Please, Stop. . .no thanks necessary!

r231: The rate at which marriages/relationships collapse now is almost assuming an acceptable celebrity status in our society.

In few years time, people will be throwing divorce parties, invites will be sent out calling friends to celebrate their divorce anniversaries. Won a mu aso-ebi, hire a hall, won a pe musician....even a question like "..so when are you getting divorced?" will be commonplace.

If u know u can't handle the weight and pressure of marriage, please remain single.

If u don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until u do.

If u are getting married because of the things u desire or hope to gain from the other person, or to satisfy your fantasies, please remain single.

Don't get married out of desperation because u think u are getting too old.

Don't just get married because of the pressure being mounted on u by your families. They are not the one getting married- you are!

You desire a successful home but your choice of friends are those whose marriages have collapsed. It is so simple- they'll make u drink from their poisoned chalice. Once that happens, your marriage is on a process of dying a slow death.

Be very mindful of where u go seeking for advice.

Guys, if u know u can't stay responsible please remain single until you mature. There's no way u can abandon the care of your family at the expense of your lifestyle. They are your priority and everything else including u comes last.
You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard, the spiritual leader, the role model- u are not a deity. Don't expect to be worshipped! You need respect, earn it by being responsible!

Ladies, if u know u can't be submissive please don't go into marriage ki won ma fi lilu ba ti e je.

If u know you can't stand being corrected, please marry yourself. Don't throw away your spinsterhood garment if u see respect as a big deal.

Please check your domestic scorecard - if your score is zero, please stay at your parent's home

There's something I like about this although I cannot get it exactly. Maybe it's the way your Yoruba reads. What inspired this err... is it outburst?

Marry the right person (your best friend),at the right time and for the right reason.
I believe those can weather any storm.

pendo89: Marry the right person (your best friend),at the right time and for the right reason.
I believe those can weather any storm.

In addition, I really do believe that if two people go into the union with clean hearts and genuine willingness to make things work, they can overcome most obstacles.

However, if the relationship is based on deceit from the beginning, how can both parties hope to be successful?

maclatunji:

There's something I like about this although I cannot get it exactly. Maybe it's the way your Yoruba reads. What inspired this err... is it outburst?

LOL

maclatunji:

In addition, I really do believe that if two people go into the union with clean hearts and genuine willingness to make things work, they can overcome most obstacles.

However, if the relationship is based on deceit from the beginning, how can both parties hope to be successful?

True

I'm not alarmed about the rate of divorce. This is the 21st century. The long-suffering generation of our fore-mothers has passed, that is why it looks as if divorce rates are going up.

A woman would readily submit to a good man. Most women in love do not mind their men asserting some authority over them. So if a man finds himselflf crying over his wife's inability to submit, ask her if she married you out of inconvenience and ask yourself if you are indeed a good person.

@OP, Where exactly are the FACTS you speak of? All you have there is a list compiled from one or a few people's perspective. For each, I can probably find you examples of people who have those issues and are currently still married, while I can also show you people who meet the requirements you suggest there but have been rejected or found themselves divorce, and wondering what in the world happened.

@r231, I observed you didn't mention love in your marriage tutorials. If it was deliberate then I'd dare say you were right skipping it! Love is not the main reason one should marry. The main parameters of marriage are compatibility, understanding, maturity, spirituality, friendship. Once these are in place, love will creep in at a later stage and it will keep growing until its root is fully firm in the marriage. My opinion though.

Hmmmm....

Sisi_Kill: Errr. . .You forgot the part about both submitting to each other (it comes right before the wife submitting to husband). You also forgot the men loving their wives as Christ loved the church part. . .which comes after the Wife Submitting to husband part.

Mind you, I don't think you did on purpose, I understand those two sections show up blank in many people. . .men's Bibles. Now I am not a conspiracy theorists but I suspect someone at the printers deliberately left that part out.

Not to worry though, I am looking into it. In the meantime, I'm always here to remind you. Oh no! Please, Stop. . .no thanks necessary!

The part in bold just earned u my utmost respect on NL!

I always say the same thing.......Thanks 4 making me smile

If you don't want your in-laws visiting you, i suggest you tell your husby to be before the marriage to avoid "so you are supporting your sister abi"

freecocoa: If you don't want your in-laws visiting you, i suggest you tell your husby to be before the marriage to avoid "so you are supporting your sister abi"

This is almost impossible. The only thing is that it should be properly moderated. Yes! It's your home but you don't expect your spouse to throwaway his/her family just because they married you. It's all about balance and common sense, you don't emit hostility to someone and expect them to reciprocate with love.

Don't have any preconceived notions, handle the situations as they occur and don't transfer anger/frustration from one event/encounter/occurrence to another.

I know, we all have principles but in a marriage you have to negotiate agreement of principles not imposing them. You will lose some ground in some areas to gain it in others.

Let mutual respect, love and understanding guide you as you go along.

Sisi_Kill: Errr. . .You forgot the part about both submitting to each other (it comes right before the wife submitting to husband). You also forgot the men loving their wives as Christ loved the church part. . .which comes after the Wife Submitting to husband part.

Mind you, I don't think you did on purpose, I understand those two sections show up blank in many people. . .men's Bibles. Now I am not a conspiracy theorists but I suspect someone at the printers deliberately left that part out.

Not to worry though, I am looking into it. In the meantime, I'm always here to remind you. Oh no! Please, Stop. . .no thanks necessary!

Sorry I don't read, in the Bible of course, where the husband is to love his wife first. I don't understand the idea of submitting to my wife either. I am commanded to love her, that I understand.
For further reading and confirmation please see: Colossians 3:18-19. 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. And Ephesians 5:22-25. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;[b][/b] Please notice that the instruction to wives comes first. Mind you, I don't think you did on purpose, I understand those two sections show up mispalced in many people. . .women's Bibles. #Just saying and correcting, of course.