My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year now. He is an Anglican while I am a Catholic. Met his parents on three occasions and they looked forward to having family lunch/dinner with me to also get to know me better and more. The problem is his parents are so controlling.

They travelled out of the country for few months and he started going to nondenominational church and invited me to be coming along and they are so good. Yesterday the unthinkable happened. A man from their Anglican church called the parents that he has not been coming to the church and that it was me who pulled him out of the church. The parents got mad and started making threats at him, they do not want to see me again. I\m trying to drag him away from family traditions, almost hitting him. He is 27yrs January.

This resulted in him getting fed up and breaking up with me. That he is tired of the way his parents are disrespecting him and would not even let him do what he wants. I told him breaking up is not the solution but that's what he wants for the time being and wants to stay away from his family. Which also does not solve anything.
I do not know what to do. I've made up my mind to move on for something as little as this and more painfully, I was not the one dragging him out of his family church. What do I do? Please serious advice.

OP

D parents don't want u - carry ur wahala and go
Ure disturbing their son - is it by force
Dey don't want u ooooooo
Dey goooo!!

190-the-clown:
OP

D parents don't want u - carry ur wahala and go
Ure disturbing their son - is it by force
Dey don't want u ooooooo
Dey goooo!!

idiot

@ op why did he stop going to his church, was there any problem of any sorts?

joeydozzy:

idiot

@ op why did he stop going to his church, was there any problem of any sorts?

No he was invited and he found the new place more fulfilling just like myself, a Catholci, he invited me and I also find this place very fulfilling.

Cosmass:

No he was invited and he found the new place more fulfilling just like myself, a Catholci, he invited me and I also find this place very fulfilling.

well he's old enough to make decisions on his own but this definitely will cause conflict in the family. the breakup wasn't your fault and you gotta make him see that, his parents are just blinded for now. if you truly love the guy, then this is ain't the time for you to leave him alone on something that might jeopardise your future in many ways than you think even though you had no cause to that. I won't blame the parents too cos they like to keep to tradition and push blames to any new additions to his life. in summary I'm saying you should be there when he makes the decision and guide him when he makes the wrong one. I just pray he comes to his senses and not ensure a war with his parents and inevitably you

.

my dear, if the parents dnt like you forget abt it, cos you won't have peace in your marriage.but if you rily luv the guy you can be an anglican.

Tenderly1: my dear, if the parents dnt like you forget abt it, cos you won't have peace in your marriage.but if you rily luv the guy you can be an anglican.

I am willing as I have been to the church once. The fault or problem is from him. He is the one that does not want to go to the Anglican church which I wanted to advise him, that he should or we should still be going to the Anglican church and after marriage, we can now decide to go to both or any and the parents are getting old but I guess he was so angry and all that he was just making decisions. We should break up. He would not call his parents etc...

joeydozzy:

well he's old enough to make decisions on his own but this definitely will cause conflict in the family. the breakup wasn't your fault and you gotta make him see that, his parents are just blinded for now. if you truly love the guy, then this is ain't the time for you to leave him alone on something that might jeopardise your future in many ways than you think even though you had no cause to that. I won't blame the parents too cos they like to keep to tradition and push blames to any new additions to his life. in summary I'm saying you should be there when he makes the decision and guide him when he makes the wrong one. I just pray he comes to his senses and not ensure a war with his parents and inevitably you

That;s what kills me. He is old enough to but his parents are not making things easier. They are sooo controlling. He was the one who suggested the break up, that now things are so hot etc and I am or have now decided, that I will move on even though I wanted to advise him not to make wrong decisions.

Cosmass:




That;s what kills me. He is old enough to but his parents are not making things easier. They are sooo controlling. He was the one who suggested the break up, that now things are so hot etc and I am or have now decided, that I will move on even though I wanted to advise him not to make wrong decisions.

have you tried talking to his parents?

joeydozzy:

have you tried talking to his parents?

You mean before or after the incident. Before it is only the mum, I've spoken with, where I'm from, work etc even helped her wash, serve, ate with them and they were even the ones that suggested a proper family dinner to eat and get to also know me more with the dad.

Cosmass:

You mean before or after the incident. Before it is only the mum, I've spoken with, where I'm from, work etc even helped her wash, serve, ate with them and they were even the ones that suggested a proper family dinner to eat and get to also know me more with the dad.

no, I meant try and talk to his parents and beg for understanding or they should talk to him

joeydozzy:

no, I meant try and talk to his parents and beg for understanding or they should talk to him

How can I? they were the ones in the first place that caused this mess and also they think I was he one who pushed him out of his church. He is the one to tell them, I am not the one but he is very angry with them.

@OP
obviously, the guy is using this opportunity to drop you, as we can all see that YOUR actions have nothing to do with anything, and therefore, since he wants to "stay away" from his parents, then dropping you was unnecessary and counter productive to his life.....so there may have been more to this story than you know of.

move on with your life knowing that you didnt do anything wrong.

-

Talk people, talk.....

sis dnt give up,if the guy real want to marry u he we come back,try to let d family know dat u are nt the one,
dat change dere son church,dnt keep enemy wit d family,or try to hate d family,dem may show hate,dnt tak it serious
dis is just misunderst,apply wisdom and stop sackin advice
sis be patient it we okay

Im sorry i ve to agree wit mrbrownjay, religious denomination is not d problem, get ur man talking!

His decisions cancels eachoda. If he is breakin up wit u, no need to severe his communication wit his parents nd if he isnt talking to dem, he need not break up wit u....

He hasnt said wat d problem is or why he is breakin up wit u. I know u luv him nd u ve a ryt to know so make him talk or go to his parents and explain everytin, once dey see u aint d reason nd tells der son to carry on wit u, den he ll either do so or man up and tell u why he is breaking up

gree-die:
Im sorry i ve to agree wit mrbrownjay, religious denomination is not d problem, get ur man talking!

His decisions cancels eachoda. If he is breakin up wit u, no need to severe his communication wit his parents nd if he isnt talking to dem, he need not break up wit u....

He hasnt said wat d problem is or why he is breakin up wit u. I know u luv him nd u ve a ryt to know so make him talk or go to his parents and explain everytin, once dey see u aint d reason nd tells der son to carry on wit u, den he ll either do so or man up and tell u why he is breaking up

Babe, it isn't ya fault. The dude is using this an excuse. If really he loves you, he should have talked to his parents in defense of you. His role here is to defend you before his parents that you didn't take him to the new church.
Talk to him, tell him what to do so that the heat can come down. 1st, go back to his original church, then talk to his parents in defense of you. If he seems hard to accept this, beta give him the chance. There are many good dudes out .