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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This (3360 Views)
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I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 11:04pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
Hi all in the house, I`m a guy of late twenty. I have an elder brother (my immediate elder brother) who is married with a kid (6 years daughter) living in a room and parlour, not self contain anyway, just room and parlour. Here is where I need your advice: My girlfriend (who would be paying me a visit all the way from another state, 5 hours journey down here) and myself would be meeting my elder brother and his wife for the first time and I was thinking of sleeping in my brother`s place with my girlfriend overnight. Where myself and my brother sleep on the rug in the parlour while my girlfriend, my brother`s wife and their daughter sleep in bed in the room. What do you all think? Is it ok as I planned the way we are going to sleep or what is your recommendation? I need you to advise me please. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by k2039: 11:07pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
[size=15pt]Lodge her in a hotel [/size] |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by jhydebaba(m): 11:09pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
See wetin Poverty dey cause. I must commend you on the arrangement brother. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by jhydebaba(m): 11:12pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
k2039: [size=13pt]Lodge her in a hotelDid you think OP is that dull to think of that? The fact is that he can't afford it hence the 'sardine arrangement' |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Mynd44: 11:21pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
You need to get your own place dude |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 12:00am On Sep 28, 2012 |
But I`m just planning to get my personal apartment by December which my girlfriend too was aware of. As for me, I`m still living with a brother friend. But talking about lodging her in a hotel, I think doing that might not speak well of me as I`ve already told her that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I even told her that the place I sleep is own by a brother friend. In fact, we are two staying with this brother friend of mine. But my girlfriend has never paid me a visit in my house before neither has she paid anyone of my family member a visit. She always come to my work place any time she want to see me when she was still in the state with me. She do spend 3 or sometimes 4 hours with me in my work place before she go back to her residence then, but now, she has travelled to a distant state and sent an SMS to me that she would like to meet both my mum and my siblings when she come to pay me a visit this weekend, if I don`t mind. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Mynd44: 12:07am On Sep 28, 2012 |
I still think it is a bad idea |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Coefficient(m): 12:14am On Sep 28, 2012 |
jhydebaba: Did you think OP is that dull to think of that? The fact is that he can't afford it hence the 'sardine arrangement' lol@ sardine arrangement lafta don finish me 4 here ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by 190theclown: 12:15am On Sep 28, 2012 |
[size=18pt]I Dont know why Nigerian girls are always giving their bf's problems ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 12:29am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Mynd_44: I still think it is a bad ideaOk what would you now suggest as I can`t secure my personal apartment now until December this year and she would be coming around in 3 days time, precisely, on this Saturday? |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Mynd44: 12:38am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Put her in an hotel |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 12:57am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Mynd_44: Put her in an hotelThank you for giving me your opinion on this. But how would you feel if I tell you that I`m not a hotel person? Personally, what I thought was that if I let her know my level that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth as I`ve been telling her since early stage of our relationship then it won`t make her to be having mixed feelings about me in one way or the other. I thought doing that to her would make her confirm what I have been telling her that I`m still a struggling man for now. Though, I`m not a lazy man as she has seen it herself (I`m a computer technician managing his own repair shop. But I`m yet to "eat it big" in the field). |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Nobody: 3:33am On Sep 28, 2012 |
koseepaaro: Thank you for giving me your opinion on this. But how would you feel if I tell you that I`m not a hotel person? Personally, what I thought was that if I let her know my level that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth as I`ve been telling her since early stage of our relationship then it won`t make her to be having mixed feelings about me in one way or the other. I thought doing that to her would make her confirm what I have been telling her that I`m still a struggling man for now. Though, I`m not a lazy man as she has seen it herself (I`m a computer technician managing his own repair shop. But I`m yet to "eat it big" in the field). still a bad idea.. put her in a motel then |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by kunlery911(m): 3:58am On Sep 28, 2012 |
@poster dont mind does ppl joor dont bring her to hotel that doesn't sound good.if a girl love u she wouldnt even mind sleeping on the floor with u plus she knows u dont have ur own apartment yet plus she knows thats ur bro house so its not big deal trust me real girls like when a guy can come out just they way they her not trying to impress her by lodging her in a hotel dont sound good to me |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Goldieluks: 4:03am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Try cutting your coat according to your size. Meaning, if you don't have a comfortable place for now, then don't invite your gf to spend the night at your brother's. Its not rocket science common. Get your own place, so you don't inconvinience your bro with your personal bags and bagagges. 2 Likes |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Nobody: 4:24am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Goldieluks: Try cutting your coat according to your size. Meaning, if you don't have a comfortable place for now, then don't invite your gf to spend the night at your brother's. Its not rocket science common. Get your own place, so you don't inconvinience your bro with your personal bags and bagagges.exactly! you are inviting your gf and you want her to squeeze herself in an already congested apartment! Are you saying no matter how the situation is you don't have money to pay for a hotel? You can get a hotel accomodation for as low as 3k.I mean don't you want privacy? Supposing you are trying to have sex with her(just saying),will you do it in your brother's house? That's a sign of disrespect.if you know you ain't bouyant enough to treat your gf right,please don't make an attempt inviting her! Don't embarass yourself! 1 Like |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Mynd44: 6:13am On Sep 28, 2012 |
^^ |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 6:42am On Sep 28, 2012 |
kunlery911: @posterThank you for all the responses. Trust me, I`m totally confused now! Maybe I need to come out a bit. This my girlfriend that I`m talking about has lived in the state with me for 11 months while she came to serve because she is a graduate. And we met and started dating during that her service days. Though then, herself and a friend of her jointly rented a room apartment where they were living then (about an hour journey to my place of resident) before she travelled back to their town after service because she`s yet to secure a job plus when she thinks about the challenges of how to live alone while she`s yet to start working and the room they rented then would expire early next year 2013. But a question now is "can`t I host her in my brother`s piace from Saturday to Sunday since I don`t have a personal apartment now until December this year execept I lodge her in a hotel"? But must we always do what is beyond our capacity just because we want to satisfy our girlfriend? Note: this my girlfriemd and I had already said it that in order not to feel the distance between us that much that when I travel to her town (5 hours journey) this month end, then, she will come down to the state to come and pay me a visit the next month end. Then, we shall continue to rotate the travelling like that till both of us are now ready to live together as husband and wife (i.e, after our wedding). |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Nobody: 7:11am On Sep 28, 2012 |
@poster,yes I know you really love her.lodging her in a hotel isn't a bad idea but you are making it sound as if to lodge in a hotel is a crime.what are hotels meant for? Don't you think you need privacy? If you wanna go ahead and let her stay in your brother's house,its up to you.if your gf agrees on your plan,go ahead.honestly some girls wouldn't! Privacy matters. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by frank317: 7:59am On Sep 28, 2012 |
U also didn't let us in on ur brother's opinion about this. Is he comfortable wit it? What of his wife? Are u sure she is ok wit it? If u can afford a cheap hotel for two or three nights, that will b great. She visit u and spend the days with ur families from there and ur aim will still b acheived since she will still have feel of how and where u live. But if u can't afford any hotel, no matter hw cheap, make sure u take everybody into consideration before inviting her. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by boron10(m): 8:06am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Poster, nobody is telling you to take her to Eko Hotel or sheraton. Cheap hotels abound all over lagos state. You can even find one as cheap as 1500 naira per night. Please, it's for the comfort of both of you. Lodging her in a hotel does not imply trying to impress her. This is someone who is ready to travel five hours just to see you, treat her with respect na, that she's aware of your background or financial state does not mean you have to treat her in a way that would bring disrespect to her person. Let her know you're ready to sacrifice the little cash on you just to make her comfortable. Anyway, what do i know? I'm just a kid |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by akhis: 8:16am On Sep 28, 2012 |
@op, you seems to already have your mind made on this and u simply want people to buy into ur idea. For me, and just as some others have said, invite the girl and get a cheap hotel for her to sleep. Remember this is he first time of coming. Subsequently, when its assumed your families and hers are now good and ok, u can make her sleep if u desire. Dont forget that these people are meeting for the first time unlike u that know them very well. The human being we are will always want us to hold back lots of things for the first day. Take for example the girl even leaves u latter, God forbide any way, it will be more woes for u. Think less of the financial impact and also dont think its only whores that are taking to hotels. What if ur brother feels he should give u good confort and takes his wife to hotel and leave u alone in the house? Guy brave up ansd get sime degnity. 5k max non go kill u or the relationship. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Goldieluks: 8:54am On Sep 28, 2012 |
OP instead of bombarding us with questions, why not go and find out from your brother and his wife if they are comfortable with your idea, and also find out from your gf if she wouldn't mind spending the night at your brother's one bed room apartment. See what they have to say, and take it from there. And lastly, try cutting your bread according to your butter! |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Goldieluks: 8:56am On Sep 28, 2012 |
jhydebaba: Did you think OP is that dull to think of that? The fact is that he can't afford it hence the 'sardine arrangement' Oh dear... ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Coefficient(m): 8:59am On Sep 28, 2012 |
You people should free this guy na. He knows what he wants to do before coming here for advice. He's only seeking validation of his sardine arrangement ![]() |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by ijigbamigb(m): 9:02am On Sep 28, 2012 |
OP. Women desires convenience. Make her comfortable with you. If u can't afford to lodge her in a hotel. Then postpone the visit till u are financially buoyant to have her visit u. She's staying for just 2 days and she deserves to be treated in an unforgettable manner so that she will be happy and comfortable with u. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 9:08am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Thank you, thank you very much indeed, all advice noted! But one more thing: what do you suggest I should do when I take her to a hotek just to sleep there overnight and she says I shouldn`t lodge her in any hotel that she will be comfortable sleeping in our house, even if she have to sleep on the mat, that she wouldn`t mind? The lady is the type that always tell me that I like to waste money each time I buy anything that is a little bit expensive for her that instead of me wasting my money on that thing that I should have given her the money that I used to buy that thing for her. Or I should have phoned her to tell her that I want to buy such a thing for her. Should I still tell her that she shouldn`t worry that she should let us go that I want comfort for her? What would you advise me to do at that point? To answer one of the questions that you guys are asking me, my brother was the one that told me to bring her down to his place to come and sleep overnight when I raised alarm to him that I don`t know where she would sleep because I`m quite sure that she can`t go back to their town on that same Saturday. And see, this lady didn`t tell me that she would like to meet both my mum and my siblings when she comes until yesteqday evening when a message enter into my phone and I opened up the message and read this meeting my mum and my siblings issue of a thing. But to be honest with you, house, I`ve got only 7k from which I planned to use in preparing food for her and give the remaining one to her as her fare (though her fare from their town to my place is just N1,600, making it roughly about N3,500 to and fro including fare on bike). That`s the plain truth, house! Now tell me, how can I achieve all these with the 7k that I have? |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Goldieluks: 9:13am On Sep 28, 2012 |
koseepaaro: Thank you, thank you very much indeed, all advice noted! But one more thing: what do you suggest I should do when I take her to a hotek just to sleep there overnight and she says I shouldn`t lodge her in any hotel that she will be comfortable sleeping in our house, even if she have to sleep on the mat, that she wouldn`t mind? The lady is the type that always tell me that I like to waste money each time I buy anything that is a little bit expensive for her that instead of me wasting my money on that thing that I should have given her the money that I used to buy that thing for her. Or I should have phoned her to tell her that I want to buy such a thing for her. Should I still tell her that she shouldn`t worry that she should let us go that I want comfort for her? What would you advise me to do at that point? To answer one of the questions that you guys are asking me, my brother was the one that told me to bring her down to his place to come and sleep overnight when I raised alarm to him that I don`t know where she would sleep because I`m quite sure that she can`t go back to their town on that same Saturday. And see, this lady didn`t tell me that she would like to meet both my mum and my siblings when she comes until yesteqday evening when a message enter into my phone and I opened up the message and read this meeting my mum and my siblings issue of a thing. But to be honest with you, house, I`ve got only 7k from which I planned to use in preparing food for her and give the remaining one to her as her fare (though her fare from their town to my place is just N1,600, making it roughly about N3,500 to and fro including fare on bike). That`s the plain truth, house! Now tell me, how can I achieve all these with the 7k that I have? If she feels comfortable staying at your bro's, then you have no qualms. Go on with your initial |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by ijigbamigb(m): 9:34am On Sep 28, 2012 |
koseepaaro: Thank you, thank you very much indeed, all advice noted! But one more thing: what do you suggest I should do when I take her to a hotek just to sleep there overnight and she says I shouldn`t lodge her in any hotel that she will be comfortable sleeping in our house, even if she have to sleep on the mat, that she wouldn`t mind? The lady is the type that always tell me that I like to waste money each time I buy anything that is a little bit expensive for her that instead of me wasting my money on that thing that I should have given her the money that I used to buy that thing for her. Or I should have phoned her to tell her that I want to buy such a thing for her. Should I still tell her that she shouldn`t worry that she should let us go that I want comfort for her? What would you advise me to do at that point? To answer one of the questions that you guys are asking me, my brother was the one that told me to bring her down to his place to come and sleep overnight when I raised alarm to him that I don`t know where she would sleep because I`m quite sure that she can`t go back to their town on that same Saturday. And see, this lady didn`t tell me that she would like to meet both my mum and my siblings when she comes until yesteqday evening when a message enter into my phone and I opened up the message and read this meeting my mum and my siblings issue of a thing. But to be honest with you, house, I`ve got only 7k from which I planned to use in preparing food for her and give the remaining one to her as her fare (though her fare from their town to my place is just N1,600, making it roughly about N3,500 to and fro including fare on bike). That`s the plain truth, house! Now tell me, how can I achieve all these with the 7k that I have? Gud. Immediately she lands. Don't pretend. Let her know u have 7k budgeted. Since she know u r very gud financially yet, she will understand. Give here 3500 immediately she arrives to cover her transport expenses. Get a hotel for 2k on saturday, organize dinner for her from you brother's house. Since she's going on sunday, she will check out by 12, then use to balance to give her a nice treat with fried rice with beef o (not chicken), salad and a drink. Barely 800. Naira. Then u r OK |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by Kenistry(m): 9:46am On Sep 28, 2012 |
Bad & totally wrong idea. Pls tell ha nt to come if u cant lodge ha in a guest hux, it's very degradin if u do wnt u planned to, lodgin ha in a hotel doesnt make u a rich man overnight, it's jst 6k dia abt for 2nites. So look for beta excuse to inconvinient ur broda and his family |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by koseepaaro(m): 9:50am On Sep 28, 2012 |
ijigbamigb:Alright! Though I`ve been looking around to get the prices of available hotel in my area. Thank you all for your kind advice. I shall be updating you as things onfold later. Once again, than you all, may God help you too in any area you might be having challenge(s) in your lives. |
Re: I Honestly Need An Advice From The House On This by obowunmi(m): 9:54am On Sep 28, 2012 |
You and her can sleep on the rug. I don't think its a big deal. Pls don't lodge her in a hotel. |
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