forkinsonlolo: i broke up with her because we are both having the same AS genotype... she told me she was AA at the earlier stage because she felt she was strong and doesnt fall sick, she didnt bother to check until when we graduated the i forced her to go to the lab with me for confirmation. she couldnt believe the result.,, we were both crazy about it. i had no option than to quit the relationship. because of our children.. i loved her so much, because if not for the genotype issue, we would have been married by now. i love you Abeebat..,,

Sarah a: my dear if what you wrote truly happened ,oh girl you try oh.some ladies experince more than what you experience but instead of them to quit,they went ahead to marry such men all in the name of the foolish love.

cikadile: I am a professional, earn some money, at least enough for my needs
I got engaged in January, to a guy about 4 years older, a banker...
he says he loves me....that he will make me love him, etc
I agreed..from Jan till date, he never has sent me recharge card, has never bought me a present, when I traveled to visit him, he asked, "you have transport money right?" Of cos I said yes...on arrival to his town the 1st, and other times, he took me to his home in a keke. (my 1st time to visit, I swear)

He also never gave me an engagement present, not even a ring
He never tips people, and wanted to kill an old keke driver over 10 or 20 naira change
Has DSTV but never subscribes cos he says he gets back late from work, and so won't waste money...not even when I visit does he subscribe, and I love watching football
One time I did our trad wear shopping, da vida for 2 it was 7400, my alert came, it had 7400 exactly!
I wanted to change my tires, he said I should not do that without telling him, on D day I text him, he texts, "ask for Michelin bla bla bla!" I really thought he wanted to for the 1st time spend money on me

I was going for an update, had to fly, register, and book a hotel room for 2 weeks- a big venture, even though I work,it was not easy.. I was delayed cos I was looking for money, he calls and goes like, "why didn't you go yst? After everything he gives me 0 naira
He used to send me call me sms until I said it was not cool
He never called to gist or talk...only once did his call last for 16 minutes...
He knew my phone was bad, he only told me to buy a nokia

He twice drove my car till just close to reserve, I mentioned I was scared my fuel wld not be enough to take me to work, both instances he told me, "you don't know the car you have, toyotas can run on reserve for days!"
I don't know how to ask a guy for things, I expect them to give me if they want...but this guy just never did...it goes on and on

I know I am up to 30, I know he is way less than 40, I know men are scarce, I called off the engagement last week...
In time we will return bride price, etc...I am just happy now, there is very little to give back

Guys, it is good that a babe works, etc so is independent...but when you give zero present to a woman before marriage, it sucks...I remember he said he wld make me love him as much as he did me...he only made my love go from 40% to less than 5%...and I had to run
In fact, his declarations of love began to sound like a joke to me
I became more intolerant of his flaws, and before long, I said my good-bye

Maybe some women are too materialistic, but some men are too tight fisted

Trust me, during my house job days, I used to give my then boyfriend (not same guy) one third of my salary as he had no job
I even bought a small gas cooker for his (this banker that is) parents' home, as these old people were cooking with a tiny stove...I am just trying to establish that I am not a stingy babe, or a gold-digger

May none of you women experience what I did

The day of my intro should have warned me...He came to borrow my car to use and bring over his parents to my house..(his car was, and still is at the mechanic's for repair, from that Jan till date o..I never did see the car meanwhile)...my snobbish mind felt he should have gotten a cab..I refused sha, it was gonna be a bad impression

So guys, is this strange to you too?
I need answers


P.S...he was a faithful, nice enough guy, but meeeen, I could not go ahead..I was spooked off
but I now wonder, is it that he wanted to marry a professional he would not have to give money, or in my case, spend a kobo on?
Or that he did not have it...hearing now that UBA HND people are not paid much...but I mean, not even to give a little?

This one pass me o

cikadile:

Thanks Sis...as God is my witness, it happened...in fact I broke up with him on Sat(3 days ago)....and ran away from home, cos my family will soon hear, and the begging, etc will start...his brother called me tire on Sunday, I refused to pick...

I can't tell our family all these, only my friends know,, in fact I came here on Thursday last week, b4 telling him it's over on Saturday trying to open this as a thread, so that people would give me their advice, and opinions, as to whether it was normal or not...but I did not know, still don't know how to start a thread

I really need guys's views, and my fellow sisters', take on the matter

cikadile: I am a professional, earn some money, at least enough for my needs
I got engaged in January, to a guy about 4 years older, a banker...
he says he loves me....that he will make me love him, etc
I agreed..from Jan till date, he never has sent me recharge card, has never bought me a present, when I traveled to visit him, he asked, "you have transport money right?" Of cos I said yes...on arrival to his town the 1st, and other times, he took me to his home in a keke. (my 1st time to visit, I swear)

He also never gave me an engagement present, not even a ring
He never tips people, and wanted to kill an old keke driver over 10 or 20 naira change
Has DSTV but never subscribes cos he says he gets back late from work, and so won't waste money...not even when I visit does he subscribe, and I love watching football
One time I did our trad wear shopping, da vida for 2 it was 7400, my alert came, it had 7400 exactly!
I wanted to change my tires, he said I should not do that without telling him, on D day I text him, he texts, "ask for Michelin bla bla bla!" I really thought he wanted to for the 1st time spend money on me

I was going for an update, had to fly, register, and book a hotel room for 2 weeks- a big venture, even though I work,it was not easy.. I was delayed cos I was looking for money, he calls and goes like, "why didn't you go yst? After everything he gives me 0 naira
He used to send me call me sms until I said it was not cool
He never called to gist or talk...only once did his call last for 16 minutes...
He knew my phone was bad, he only told me to buy a nokia

He twice drove my car till just close to reserve, I mentioned I was scared my fuel wld not be enough to take me to work, both instances he told me, "you don't know the car you have, toyotas can run on reserve for days!"
I don't know how to ask a guy for things, I expect them to give me if they want...but this guy just never did...it goes on and on

I know I am up to 30, I know he is way less than 40, I know men are scarce, I called off the engagement last week...
In time we will return bride price, etc...I am just happy now, there is very little to give back

Guys, it is good that a babe works, etc so is independent...but when you give zero present to a woman before marriage, it sucks...I remember he said he wld make me love him as much as he did me...he only made my love go from 40% to less than 5%...and I had to run
In fact, his declarations of love began to sound like a joke to me
I became more intolerant of his flaws, and before long, I said my good-bye

Maybe some women are too materialistic, but some men are too tight fisted

Trust me, during my house job days, I used to give my then boyfriend (not same guy) one third of my salary as he had no job
I even bought a small gas cooker for his (this banker that is) parents' home, as these old people were cooking with a tiny stove...I am just trying to establish that I am not a stingy babe, or a gold-digger

May none of you women experience what I did

The day of my intro should have warned me...He came to borrow my car to use and bring over his parents to my house..(his car was, and still is at the mechanic's for repair, from that Jan till date o..I never did see the car meanwhile)...my snobbish mind felt he should have gotten a cab..I refused sha, it was gonna be a bad impression

So guys, is this strange to you too?
I need answers


P.S...he was a faithful, nice enough guy, but meeeen, I could not go ahead..I was spooked off
but I now wonder, is it that he wanted to marry a professional he would not have to give money, or in my case, spend a kobo on?
Or that he did not have it...hearing now that UBA HND people are not paid much...but I mean, not even to give a little?

This one pass me o

aaidel: My mother didn't like her.

cikadile: I am a professional, earn some money, at least enough for my needs
I got engaged in January, to a guy about 4 years older, a banker...
he says he loves me....that he will make me love him, etc
I agreed..from Jan till date, he never has se

He also never gave me an engagement present, not even a ring

I don't know how to ask a guy for things, I expect them to give me if they want...but this guy just never did...it goes on and on


So guys, is this strange to you too?
I need answers


P.S...he was a faithful, nice enough guy, but meeeen, I could not go ahead..I was spooked off
but I now wonder, is it that he wanted to marry a professional he would not have to give money, or in my case, spend a kobo on?
Or that he did not have it...hearing now that UBA HND people are not paid much...but I mean, not even to give a little?

This one pass me o

cikadile: I am a professional, earn some money, at least enough for my needs
I got engaged in January, to a guy about 4 years older, a banker...
he says he loves me....that he will make me love him, etc
I agreed..from Jan till date, he never has sent me recharge card, has never bought me a present, when I traveled to visit him, he asked, "you have transport money right?" Of cos I said yes...on arrival to his town the 1st, and other times, he took me to his home in a keke. (my 1st time to visit, I swear)

He also never gave me an engagement present, not even a ring
He never tips people, and wanted to kill an old keke driver over 10 or 20 naira change
Has DSTV but never subscribes cos he says he gets back late from work, and so won't waste money...not even when I visit does he subscribe, and I love watching football
One time I did our trad wear shopping, da vida for 2 it was 7400, my alert came, it had 7400 exactly!
I wanted to change my tires, he said I should not do that without telling him, on D day I text him, he texts, "ask for Michelin bla bla bla!" I really thought he wanted to for the 1st time spend money on me

I was going for an update, had to fly, register, and book a hotel room for 2 weeks- a big venture, even though I work,it was not easy.. I was delayed cos I was looking for money, he calls and goes like, "why didn't you go yst? After everything he gives me 0 naira
He used to send me call me sms until I said it was not cool
He never called to gist or talk...only once did his call last for 16 minutes...
He knew my phone was bad, he only told me to buy a nokia

He twice drove my car till just close to reserve, I mentioned I was scared my fuel wld not be enough to take me to work, both instances he told me, "you don't know the car you have, toyotas can run on reserve for days!"
I don't know how to ask a guy for things, I expect them to give me if they want...but this guy just never did...it goes on and on

I know I am up to 30, I know he is way less than 40, I know men are scarce, I called off the engagement last week...
In time we will return bride price, etc...I am just happy now, there is very little to give back

Guys, it is good that a babe works, etc so is independent...but when you give zero present to a woman before marriage, it sucks...I remember he said he wld make me love him as much as he did me...he only made my love go from 40% to less than 5%...and I had to run
In fact, his declarations of love began to sound like a joke to me
I became more intolerant of his flaws, and before long, I said my good-bye

Maybe some women are too materialistic, but some men are too tight fisted

Trust me, during my house job days, I used to give my then boyfriend (not same guy) one third of my salary as he had no job
I even bought a small gas cooker for his (this banker that is) parents' home, as these old people were cooking with a tiny stove...I am just trying to establish that I am not a stingy babe, or a gold-digger

May none of you women experience what I did

The day of my intro should have warned me...He came to borrow my car to use and bring over his parents to my house..(his car was, and still is at the mechanic's for repair, from that Jan till date o..I never did see the car meanwhile)...my snobbish mind felt he should have gotten a cab..I refused sha, it was gonna be a bad impression

So guys, is this strange to you too?
I need answers


P.S...he was a faithful, nice enough guy, but meeeen, I could not go ahead..I was spooked off
but I now wonder, is it that he wanted to marry a professional he would not have to give money, or in my case, spend a kobo on?
Or that he did not have it...hearing now that UBA HND people are not paid much...but I mean, not even to give a little?

This one pass me o

cikadile: Thank you ladies, and @engrtee for your concern...God bless
I will start by replying @engrtee...I do not think any one, would lie in the cyber world....there is anonymity, and a pool/collection of opinions, plus the jokes....I believe this one can get the best ideas/advice...that said, I was not telling tales

Replying @emiye, I gave the main reason that worried me...and I am sure he must have have his complaints, but that is his story to tell...but I broke up with him, cos of the reasons I gave...it does not mean other things were not wrong, this was the deciding factor for me..

Reading my post again, I will modify by saying that I didn't mean he called me once...he would call, in bits, call duration like 2 minutes on the average how are yous, then when you want to talk he hurries off...I complained and he did the 16 minutes...he told me he does not use more than 200 naira air time a day
Some days before I broke up with him, he called for 1 plus hours( by then there was major friction, and he called for us to settle)I was so sure it was the MTN bonus thing that he used, though he denied it

I cannot
ask a guy for things, that is me...but once, after discussing with my close friends, I told him my friends wanted to see my engagement present(s)...he complained about letting friends into our relationship.And still never got me anything...the truth is, my friends encouraged me to be with him, all of them...though they found it hard to keep supporting him as time went on

I said he is nice, true, but his stinginess and evasiveness affected me so much that my feelings for him lessened, I started avoiding his calls, and told him I was not into texts...(I mean he would text, "sending you roses from here with all my love"...I swear that when a guy's only gift to you was an imaginary bouquet of flowers, you could go crazy)...so I told him I am not a text person

I know I gave up too easily, and that I did not sit him down to tell him, he may have got it, or not if I had done so...but I cannot be responsible for an older than I am fiance's actions like that...I believe men should take charge, and act responsibly..I grew to find out I cannot submit to a man that gave me little cause/incentive to respect him

But, I know he is not a bad guy at all, far from it, but he is not the one for me
I know it will be a sort of scandal, the ensuing returning of the bride price, and the blame games that will come up, but my mind is made up

I think I am too out spoken....can be very stubborn too....just wanted to confess my own flaws too
But in that engagement, my biggest wrong doing was saying YES....


In fact people, I would not lie if you have further questions, I just need to talk here and free myself, cos I swear to you all, I feel so bad for him and his family...it must be embarrassing to say the least, having to explain why I am no longer there...my family too, I know they will worry about me getting married ever.....but what I feel the most is RELIEF
Thanks for reading my long posts

I think I did him him more good by breaking up, cos the way it was, I would have wedded him, and gone ahead to lose all respect for him, cheat on him, or run away from the marriage...and divorces are not easy...and nobody would get why I would divorce a faithful guy...
I wud tel u d honest n bitter truth,am a guy ,I onced dated a lady sometimed wit almost same story,I understand all cos I wasn't spending extravagantly4her which I knw very well.
Later,he met a guy who was spending enof cash4her n alwys calling her not knowing it was d beginnig of tribulation4her,afta somtime dey were very close dat got engaged
,She nva knw ds guy was a guy dat do brutalised women(wife)ds guy beat hm@evry slightes provocation.
Now,ds same gal is beging to com bak to me despite she is richer dan me,I refus bluntly,it was too late,I wil nva go bak 2my vomit.
All dat glitters is not gold.
U made a mistake,y didn't u sit hm down n xplain hw u fee to hm(hink tiwce.

Phiozy: @cikadile...guess we are of like minds, I personally dnt knw hw 2ask sum1 for sumtin, and d day I venture 2ask and d person doesnt giv,dat wld eva b d last... Initially, I was tinkin he finds any gift he may get 4 u insultin as it may nt b up to ur expectatn/class, buh dis ur case is sumtin else. One of my galfrnds was actually datin dis guy for more dan a year,buh NEVER did he spend a dime on her, she stayed arnd cos of d luv she had for him,she neva complained...jst recently he proposed 2her, she accepted, and dat was wen dis my frnd startd reapin d fruitsss of her patience..d guy started showerin lotta gifts on her. His sisters(home and abroad) and his mum got 2 knw her and dnt joke wt her @al, last tym we went 2 visit his mum(he's ryt nw in d UK on a biz trip) his mum so wlcmd us,and I knw wat we left dat house wt dat day...she neva knew his pple was even wealthy... Buh menh dis case of yours is sumtin else I wont lie...for him 2 hv continued wt such an attitude (to d point of engagemnt)means he wont chng afta marriage... Its a gud tin u left... I pray u get sum1 compatible, sum1 who wldnt hesitate 2 shower his love on u in evryway he can...best dearie...
Abt d msg, check d email u used in openin ur NL acct

cikadile: Thank you ladies, and @engrtee for your concern...God bless
I will start by replying @engrtee...I do not think any one, would lie in the cyber world....there is anonymity, and a pool/collection of opinions, plus the jokes....I believe this one can get the best ideas/advice...that said, I was not telling tales

Replying @emiye, I gave the main reason that worried me...and I am sure he must have have his complaints, but that is his story to tell...but I broke up with him, cos of the reasons I gave...it does not mean other things were not wrong, this was the deciding factor for me..

Reading my post again, I will modify by saying that I didn't mean he called me once...he would call, in bits, call duration like 2 minutes on the average how are yous, then when you want to talk he hurries off...I complained and he did the 16 minutes...he told me he does not use more than 200 naira air time a day
Some days before I broke up with him, he called for 1 plus hours( by then there was major friction, and he called for us to settle)I was so sure it was the MTN bonus thing that he used, though he denied it

I cannot
ask a guy for things, that is me...but once, after discussing with my close friends, I told him my friends wanted to see my engagement present(s)...he complained about letting friends into our relationship.And still never got me anything...the truth is, my friends encouraged me to be with him, all of them...though they found it hard to keep supporting him as time went on

I said he is nice, true, but his stinginess and evasiveness affected me so much that my feelings for him lessened, I started avoiding his calls, and told him I was not into texts...(I mean he would text, "sending you roses from here with all my love"...I swear that when a guy's only gift to you was an imaginary bouquet of flowers, you could go crazy)...so I told him I am not a text person

I know I gave up too easily, and that I did not sit him down to tell him, he may have got it, or not if I had done so...but I cannot be responsible for an older than I am fiance's actions like that...I believe men should take charge, and act responsibly..I grew to find out I cannot submit to a man that gave me little cause/incentive to respect him

But, I know he is not a bad guy at all, far from it, but he is not the one for me
I know it will be a sort of scandal, the ensuing returning of the bride price, and the blame games that will come up, but my mind is made up

I think I am too out spoken....can be very stubborn too....just wanted to confess my own flaws too
But in that engagement, my biggest wrong doing was saying YES....


In fact people, I would not lie if you have further questions, I just need to talk here and free myself, cos I swear to you all, I feel so bad for him and his family...it must be embarrassing to say the least, having to explain why I am no longer there...my family too, I know they will worry about me getting married ever.....but what I feel the most is RELIEF
Thanks for reading my long posts

I think I did him him more good by breaking up, cos the way it was, I would have wedded him, and gone ahead to lose all respect for him, cheat on him, or run away from the marriage...and divorces are not easy...and nobody would get why I would divorce a faithful guy...

abifoluwa: AWWWW God go punish that man

God is ur strength

cikadile: I am a professional, earn some money, at least enough for my needs
I got engaged in January, to a guy about 4 years older, a banker...
he says he loves me....that he will make me love him, etc
I agreed..from Jan till date, he never has sent me recharge card, has never bought me a present, when I traveled to visit him, he asked, "you have transport money right?" Of cos I said yes...on arrival to his town the 1st, and other times, he took me to his home in a keke. (my 1st time to visit, I swear)

He also never gave me an engagement present, not even a ring
He never tips people, and wanted to kill an old keke driver over 10 or 20 naira change
Has DSTV but never subscribes cos he says he gets back late from work, and so won't waste money...not even when I visit does he subscribe, and I love watching football
One time I did our trad wear shopping, da vida for 2 it was 7400, my alert came, it had 7400 exactly!
I wanted to change my tires, he said I should not do that without telling him, on D day I text him, he texts, "ask for Michelin bla bla bla!" I really thought he wanted to for the 1st time spend money on me

I was going for an update, had to fly, register, and book a hotel room for 2 weeks- a big venture, even though I work,it was not easy.. I was delayed cos I was looking for money, he calls and goes like, "why didn't you go yst? After everything he gives me 0 naira
He used to send me call me sms until I said it was not cool
He never called to gist or talk...only once did his call last for 16 minutes...
He knew my phone was bad, he only told me to buy a nokia

He twice drove my car till just close to reserve, I mentioned I was scared my fuel wld not be enough to take me to work, both instances he told me, "you don't know the car you have, toyotas can run on reserve for days!"
I don't know how to ask a guy for things, I expect them to give me if they want...but this guy just never did...it goes on and on

I know I am up to 30, I know he is way less than 40, I know men are scarce, I called off the engagement last week...
In time we will return bride price, etc...I am just happy now, there is very little to give back

Guys, it is good that a babe works, etc so is independent...but when you give zero present to a woman before marriage, it sucks...I remember he said he wld make me love him as much as he did me...he only made my love go from 40% to less than 5%...and I had to run
In fact, his declarations of love began to sound like a joke to me
I became more intolerant of his flaws, and before long, I said my good-bye

Maybe some women are too materialistic, but some men are too tight fisted

Trust me, during my house job days, I used to give my then boyfriend (not same guy) one third of my salary as he had no job
I even bought a small gas cooker for his (this banker that is) parents' home, as these old people were cooking with a tiny stove...I am just trying to establish that I am not a stingy babe, or a gold-digger

May none of you women experience what I did

The day of my intro should have warned me...He came to borrow my car to use and bring over his parents to my house..(his car was, and still is at the mechanic's for repair, from that Jan till date o..I never did see the car meanwhile)...my snobbish mind felt he should have gotten a cab..I refused sha, it was gonna be a bad impression

So guys, is this strange to you too?
I need answers


P.S...he was a faithful, nice enough guy, but meeeen, I could not go ahead..I was spooked off
but I now wonder, is it that he wanted to marry a professional he would not have to give money, or in my case, spend a kobo on?
Or that he did not have it...hearing now that UBA HND people are not paid much...but I mean, not even to give a little?

This one pass me o

cikadile: forgive the long story, I just needed to give a picture...there are more examples o, just listed the ones off the top of my head

ifeomabernard: He`s got a very BIG DICK

ifeomabernard: He`s got a very BIG DICK

WAM?:
I sincerely do not know. It's been one story or the other - and what makes it worse is that his attitude towards me has changed 360 . I miss him so much because he is my best friend and now he wouldn't even see me and limits talking to me. It's been 2 months and I still feel like I'm in a nightmare that I need to wake up from. I also had to write 2 board exams feeling this way- thank God I made it!

He wasn't perfect but I loved him and accepted his flaws . I was also at peace that I was in God's will. I have pleaded with him against the wish of my family and friends but at this point I would do anything to get my peace back. Things have not been the same for 2 months now- even though I have numerous things to be thankful for this year- I have not had the opportunity to enjoy them. I don't know how long this would last but one thing I know is I am exhausted. It's easy for you to say move on; its not the end of the world. I would say the same- that's the logical thing to do but the reality is different.

I am the girl who is always smiling, playful and happy but I find myself now in deep thoughts and tears rolling down my cheeks .My life seems like its slipping away- and It does not help that I just moved to a new place and started a new job. The worst of all the emotions I feel right now is that of betrayal- he sees the effect this is having on me and does nothing about it. Let me add that its hard but I still trust God . ( Theme song I trust you lord Donnie Mcclurkin)

Okay enough of my story- I smile because I can imagine the "smart comments" that would follow this post :-) gotta to love nairaland !!!

Rooneyboy:

Frankly was really touched when reading this; not to worry dear some one special "who knows ur value is going to meet u in no time" and u both will be the envy of others ,including ur ex.

Just be strong and move on , it could be very difficult but not impossible.