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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Sincere Answer Please.... (3629 Views)
I Need A Sincere Answer (2) (3) (4)
Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 6:37pm On Oct 01, 2012 |
Just thought I should throw this question out there; Is anything wrong with either a Married man or Woman to have an opposite gender as a best friend( hang out with him/ her, movies, coffee, concerts) without any strings attached? As for the wives and hubbys are you gonna be comfortable with this atall? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by k2039: 7:42pm On Oct 01, 2012 |
[size=13pt] Your partner should be your best friend. It is possible in mariages where the couples arent that close(imagine a marriage in which the husband and wife arent that into each other,they could likely have bestfriends that are opposite sex to them that they can confide in) But I dont think any of them will be comfortable,we are all jealous[/size] [img]http://2.bp..com/-0vi0a8lItRQ/Tyen5lB2kXI/AAAAAAAAB98/HgkN_ygKMZU/s400/best-friend-quotes.gif[/img] [img]https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWTcbunzcVUbbCvfpFyUwm-A2_9iqKxDHIciyEIZlmcvIWMu2nTQ[/img] 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 6:31am On Oct 02, 2012 |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by 299: 9:54am On Oct 02, 2012 |
some people have no bussiness getting married. What happened to husband and wife being 'best friends' and hanging out together? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by taryour(f): 10:00am On Oct 02, 2012 |
CAPITAL NO. And if any woman or man should ever say he or she can allow such,she is definately the worst liar ever to exist..... 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Ejisz: 5:29am On Nov 04, 2012 |
better nt keep a guy 2 close or he will do u. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by greatgod2012(f): 6:36am On Nov 04, 2012 |
First of all, my hubby is my best friend, and if i must have an opposite sex as one of my friends,he must be our family friend and i must be their family friend too. Our discussions should be soo open and devoid of suspicion. He should be able to always discuss with us together, not with me alone. 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by softtouch2(m): 11:08am On Nov 05, 2012 |
Your best friend MUST always be your spouse, anything else trouble may come sooner or later. Even when nothing attached (btn the Man and the Woman), what about emotional tumor their individual spouses will be subjected? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 4:17pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
Okay but sometimes don't you feel you need a breathing space? Like sincerely? Like you feel choked? I'm just being sincere ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 5:46pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
Ejisz: better nt keep a guy 2 close or he will do u. Why do you think he'll do you...dirty mind ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 6:23pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: Okay but sometimes don't you feel you need a breathing space? Like sincerely? Like you feel choked? I'm just being sincere You want to do fun things with a male friend? No wonder men are asking for paternity test. 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 6:29pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
BlueDiva: Ah ah Diva ... It's just a discussion now ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by maclatunji: 7:35pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: ![]() jidegirl12: Even if you just want to be friends, the devil will bring out the raw passion in you. You should cut-off such "friendship". At the very best, it puts an unnecessary strain on your marriage. At worst , it destroys it. 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 7:49pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
Thanks Mac. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Tgirl4real(f): 7:54pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: Okay but sometimes don't you feel you need a breathing space? Like sincerely? Like you feel choked? I'm just being sincere There is nufin wrong with dat as long as there is trust and understanding between u and ur partner. Any choking relationship isn't healthy. Keeping the opp sex as a best friend is not healthy and actually not dat feasible cos once u get married u get preoccupied with so many things that u sometimes forget that ur friends exist. A best friend is someone u tell practically everything and that is not nice once u are married. However, to keep sane, it's purely human for u to wanna interact with other people apart from ur spouse. But, there is a limit u can go. I personally wouldn't do movies with just any friend cos it's kinda personal. There are some peeps I'm comfy with cos they are family friends and we have a healthy relationship. Nothing wrong in hanging out with colleagues for a drink or a group movie outing. Just keep it healthy that's all that matters and try and keep ur spouse in d know. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 8:43pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
Tgirl4real: Thanks T , I think you understand my point ... you know but the gender thing is just the no no part I guess ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by tpia1: 9:25pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
and if your male or female best friend is also your worst enemy nko? is that a more relevant question? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by baby124: 10:03pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
Honestly, I don't think anyone should be doing anything their partner is not happy or comfortable with. IF you have a good and respectable partner, why annoy them with things they wouldn't like, and things you won't like if you were in their shoes? How would you feel if your husband was doing this to you. Nothing bad in keeping friends and meeting in public once in a while, but act and be respectable to your partner's feelings. And if the person is such a good friend, surely they must understand. I used to think having male friends was not a bad thing, all my male friends have disappointed me by toasting me. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by coogar: 10:21pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: Okay but sometimes don't you feel you need a breathing space? Like sincerely? Like you feel choked? I'm just being sincere ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 10:36pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
@cooger come on now ![]() @ baby those are good points , thanks but what if those guys are gay to be precise? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by coogar: 11:01pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: @cooger come on now there's no true friendship between a man and a woman that are not blood-related! it's a recipe for disaster - your partner should be your best friend not some random dude who secretly schemes how to get you into his bed..... |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Tgirl4real(f): 11:17pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: Even some female friends are snakes. Just keep d relationship healthy. As Yoruba will say "what u don't wanna eat, don't smell it". Just be very careful. Even the best of them have intentions. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 11:18pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
coogar: Okaaaay I hear you. You kinda sound like my Daddy.. Scary! |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by baby124: 11:20pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
jidegirl12: @cooger come on now I have gay friends as well. And I find that most Nigerian men are uncomfortable around gay guys and they don't understand why their women talk to them. I really don't know what the problem is. BUt even then you have to be aware gay guys can also want your man just like any other female friend. He can also go to all lengths to cause problems in your relationship, if in his mind he thinks he has a chance at your guy. Quite frankly after work, I don't have too much energy to hang out with anyone and I spend my weekends chilling. I think it all comes down to balance. You have a family to care for, I don't think you would have the time for everyday meetings and chit-chats. Ask your guy what exactly is his problem with your friend. He should be able to tell you |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 12:30am On Nov 06, 2012 |
He doesn't have any prob with my friends atall ( he's like custom made for me ![]() Thanks everybody ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by SewaGRITS(f): 12:32am On Nov 06, 2012 |
@OP, I, too, believe ur spouse should be it best friend. After all he/she is the one u will spend forever with (God willing), make important life decisions with, and create life with (again God willing). I love being with my hubby and can't think of when I'd never want to be around him- - well, maybe the bathroom :-/ That being said, I do have a "bestie" who is male. We known each other for over a decade, and are like Bro/sis. We call each other for a laugh or to gossip. We live on opposite sides of country but when we lived closer together we'd hang out some, take day trips or go shopping. So, it can be done, but it takes a rare spouse to be able to accept it. My hubby thinks the guy "is not serious" and we are always laughing at his antics and crazy life. So I suspect that is why he doesn't object. It's like tolerating his wife's toy poodle or gay hairdressor. I, on the other hand, readily admit to insecurities. So a female "bestie" for my hubby is a no go area unless she were super butcher and more into women. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 12:48am On Nov 06, 2012 |
Yeah( slowly) ... I wouldn't want him to have a female bestie neither so I gotta leave that idea alone... I'd tell them he doesn't like the idea and they'd understand and if they don't too bad ![]() Thanks ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 12:53am On Nov 06, 2012 |
. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Nobody: 1:07am On Nov 06, 2012 |
Thanks @cc.... my answer to your last paragraph is Hun Hun ( moves head left and right).. I solemnly vow I will never ever do that ![]() |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by UmericanGirl(f): 3:05am On Nov 06, 2012 |
Jealousy aside, it doesnt look good on either partner to hang out with a member of the opposite sex alone. If somebody saw my husband on a date with a girl - even something as simple as a coffee date - what would they think? Rumors would flare. Its a very bad idea. |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by Ivynwa(f): 7:38am On Nov 06, 2012 |
Friends/Old school mates/Colleagues in the office chatting over a cup of coffee or having lunch is an innocent act unless others decide to read meanings into that. I don't agree that a woman or man will stop having friends because they got married. People can share problems and if there is a rule that you mustn't talk to others or have friends because you are married, how can people get to converse and have others advise them or rub minds with others or even solve problems etc? |
Re: Sincere Answer Please.... by maclatunji: 8:53am On Nov 06, 2012 |
baby_123: Honestly, I don't think anyone should be doing anything their partner is not happy or comfortable with. IF you have a good and respectable partner, why annoy them with things they wouldn't like, and things you won't like if you were in their shoes? How would you feel if your husband was doing this to you. Nothing bad in keeping friends and meeting in public once in a while, but act and be respectable to your partner's feelings. And if the person is such a good friend, surely they must understand. I used to think having male friends was not a bad thing, all my male friends have disappointed me by toasting me. It's natural, a man cannot honestly be best of friends with a woman without wanting her to be exclusively his. We have a biological drive that is often disguised as "love". In terms of biology, who better to have your children than your best friend? It helps improve the chances of survival of your offspring. |
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