I am so desperate because of my sister. I have tried so hard to help her. She is such a good person but she is so crazy overthis boy.
Well, my sister who is two years younger than I am had a relationship with this boy or shall I say beast?

They were together for 2 yrs when she discovered that he was having another girl next to her. The second girl let her know as she wanted to get rid of her. She succeeded. My sister, very much to my happiness, broke up with this boy. She was so devastated. I tried very hard to sooth her pain. Though pretty, well educated and successful, she would question herself constantly as to what she did wrong. She was so depressed. In her relationship with the boy, she would travel to visit him every weekend. She would take her of everything he wanted her to take care of. Clean and cook for him. She didn't even demand anything financial as she had her own. She would even share the bills with him.

However, all that was not enough and the boy cheated. I don't want to say much about the other girl. She was good looking, yes. Bt not more than my sister. and apart from that she lacks proper home schooling, is not educated, loud, lacks proper manners etc. Anyway. The boy kept calling my sister but continued the relationship with the other girl.

Finally, he gave up. Still, my sister's heart was so broken that she could not even see any other boy.

A year passed and the boy started calling again. Her anger passed but her heart was still broken. They were talking on the phone every now and then. And she forgave but refused to meet him. He was trying and trying. Almost six months passed and he finally succeeded to meet her. I told her not to d it but she said that she never stopped loving him. In the meantime he quit the relationship with the other girl.

They met and spent a really good time together. After some time, he got himself in some sort of financial trouble and my sister used her savings to help him out. He promised to return the money a month later. When the month was over, he disappeared. He even changed his number.

Now she is devastated again. I am so angry with her but even more with him. How can a person be so wicked?

And what can I do? My sister is so depressed. She doesn't eat much. She refuses to go out or meet friends. She has no self-esteem anymore. Not at all.

thisiscindy:

And what can I do? My sister is so depressed. She doesn't eat much. She refuses to go out or meet friends. She has no self-esteem anymore. Not at all.

Honestly what you should do is what a lot of Nigerians don't like to hear about. You should take her to see a psychologist +/- a psychiatrist. They can help her through her depression and even help her come to a place where it is easier for her to forget about this boy.

In the meantime you can continue to encourage her by being non judgmental. Don't berate her or make her feel bad for going back to the boy. So what if she gave herself a second chance with the person she 'feels' is the love of her life? It is possible that it could have turned out right this time. You need to help her see that she is not to blame but the guy is to blame for being a deceptive and wicked person.

@Poster, you sister is the one who needs help here. I would suggest you send her in for counseling because she might continue to be taken advantage of given her low sense of self there. It is sad that society now makes excuses for so many ills that our daughters do not understand that it is absolutely a no-no to even excuse cheating of any kind. Please send your sister in for counseling so she gets the help she needs with her self esteem, now, before she runs into more problems in life as a result.

Some women will never learn, not even from other people's mistakes! Giving all your love to a man who's not worth it.and still yet she never learnt her lessons.now she foolishly goes back to the affair and is more heartbroken! Please just advise her not to commit suicide because I fear something like that might happen! Depression could lead to something fatal!

Give her time, she will get over it. It is all a part of life. Trust she has learnt her lessons and is wiser. Never give what you cant afford to lose. No need playing wifey until you are really married.

2mch: Give her time, she will get over it. It is all a part of life. Trust she has learnt her lessons and is wiser. Never give what you cant afford to lose. No need playing wifey until you are really married.

I am worried that he has done a long-lasting harm to her psyche. Things like that happen. Some people hardly recover from harsh experiences. My sister is the sensistive kind.

Thank you all for your advice. Hope to hear more. I have sleepless nights because of her.

thisiscindy:

I am worried that he has done a long-lasting harm to her psyche. Things like that happen. Some people hardly recover from harsh experiences. My sister is the sensistive kind.

Thank you all for your advice. Hope to hear more. I have sleepless nights because of her.

Well you are the closest to her, talk to her and be there for her. If she wants to talk, just listen. Yes, it will have changed her perception on life and relationships. but that is life, we all learn. And let her learn from her mistakes. It is all part of being an adult. Its better learnt now in a broken relationship, than being married or being pregnant for such.

2mch:

Well you are the closest to her, talk to her and be there for her. If she wants to talk, just listen. Yes, it will have changed her perception on life and relationships. but that is life, we all learn. And let her learn from her mistakes. It is all part of being an adult. Its better learnt now in a broken relationship, than being married or being pregnant for such.

that is true. I pity all women who get pregnant by this kind of men.
few things are worse than people without a conscience.

Ur sister cannot love such a two timing pig.

All she is missing is d good bedmatics (intimacy) she was enjoying with him.

Help her by getting her a younger and energitic man.

Is she depressed becaused she was duped by the boy? Or is it because she was jilted by him?

299: Is she depressed becaused she was duped by the boy? Or is it because she was jilted by him?

Both.

She is depressed because the man she "loves" betrayed her twice. She feels depressed because she lost her self-confidence. She believes she is all wrong because if she was ok he would not have treated her like that.

Your sister no get brain et all....
You too poster no get brain for being angry with the boy instead of your sister.

Who else? The boy eeeeeemmmm

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OYINBOGOJU: Your sister no get brain et all....
You too poster no get brain for being angry with the boy instead of your sister.

Who else? The boy eeeeeemmmm

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read again and tell me if you can spot your mistake?

thank you all for your advice. you can't imagine how grateful I'm. you're very welcomed to give more of it.

You need to let your sis understand that there are so many good men out there.

My 2bags of cement!