I need advice from some one,
I'm dating my manager,but no one from work knows because at work we don't talk to each other, He does his job and I do my job, I don't see him very much because he works a lot , We being dating for about 4 months we really get along just fine until I started telling him that he needed to spend more time with me that one or two days a week wasn't enough, After that speech. I never heard from him again he stop calling me and he wont pick up my calls, I see him at work and I have caught him staring at me like hes sad for not calling me , after the 2nd day of trying calling I gave up and I refuse to call him or even talk to him, but at the sametime I want to know what happend to our relationship, Why he walk out on me, Should I confront him or just move on, like nothing happen,

awwwwwwwwwww how sad! i dnt knw wht cld be wrong wit ur man bt i thk U need to confront him, U cnt jst sit bck n watch ur relationship die all da best

sorry u shud'nt av gone out with ur manager in the first place cos no matter aw long you hide someone from work will know, anyway wat happened has happened i suggest u put the past behind you.cos if he's refusin to talk to you that means maybe he's tired of ur relationship, but if u still think u wanna know wat happened confront him, but becareful tho

From what you said your words might have scared him off. He probably doesn't want to get too committed now -- asking for more time might tell him you're desperate or something. What kind of relationship did you two have?

yeah!! what kind of relationship was it, a serious one? very intimate?

sorry ooh,bad

Rhodalyn:

yeah!! what kind of relationship was it, a serious one? very intimate?

How on earth you expect make your manager dey serious with you.If you had met this man outside office it's a different issue.Abeg make you find someone wey u fit rely on, no be person wey go use you dey satisfy himself.

Na the real thing i dey tell u, if u like listen, if you like no listen.

I don talk my own.

i will advice u to forget the relationship because
He does n't love nor have any feeling for you and maybe you are the one that first make some zig zag moves towords him and he just decide to get his own share of the thing from u and back off immediatly.
He is a runs man, you are not the first neither are you the only babe in that office that he has been having sex with.

@ poster,

Usually i do not dabble into this kind of discussion, but i just feel like chip in something because i see you don't understand the issue at hand.

Look at it from this angle, men and women are different specie , why a woman will do almost anything for romantic relationship a man may not. This becomes very critical when it affects his job, my experience giving lecture to youth shows that while most ladies considers their wedding day their happiest day, most guy considers their greates moment the day they hit it big---menaing their job, contract, success etc.

So, dating your manager who has been trusted with the exercise of sound judgement to take the business to greater height may not really seems bad from romantic perspective, but in the business world, such weakness has led to the fall of many corporate giants, the recent example was the case of the formal world bank president that favours his girlfriend a strategic position that threatens the world body despite her lack of experience. It is a bad busniess ethics for your manager to date you and he knows it because if there is a clash of interest, he may not exercise sound judgement and discreation.

Therefore, your request for more intimacy may have caused him to re-evaluate the whole relationship, and naturally, most men will prefer their job to an unethical relationship since job =income, and with a good income they can afford to go out with any lady.

So, essentially, it may not be because he did not like you but because there is a higher necessity to allow reason to prevail against emotions,, he knew he hurt you but to him its better than being jobless. Ofcourse, in most organisation your relationship could get both of you sacked. So understand the peculiar situation he's in, except one of you will leave the job.

This issue is not wether he loves you or not, it has to do with survival, self preservation is the first law of nature---- most men understand this law instinctively than most ladies because without job a man has no ego, no honour ! He will rather sacrifice the relationship than get sacked for dating a subordinate.

take heart sister, and think about this.

first,is dis ur manger married?secondly,of all d many guys,is ur manager dat is fit to b ur lover?hw i wish i can meet u one-on-one,so dat we can talk about hw u want to loose ur job by dating ur manager,girl check urself

Advice No 1. What is worth doing at all is worth doing well!!! As in, if you ever happen to be in a relationship don't keep it secret. If you do that then something is terribly wrong. No2. Never mix business with pleasure!! It always ends badly. No 3. Don't ever sell yourself short, or have a relationship with any one who would not give you his all. The guy is probably using you and his through with you now. Forget him and face your work. Or better still find another job.

This thread don old ke!  The poster should have solved this problem by now or even forgotten this screen name and associated passwords.   Well nothing to do with my time so here goes!


You have some questions to answer from the previous posters.   I do not have any problem with dating your manager at all.  But is he single or married?


Yes, I think you should ask him nicely, not confront him.  I would just to clear the air. Just send him a note, personally, before it ends up like those mysterious love letters in Nigerian movies that never get to their destinations. Just a little note to find out what happened as it might be a misunderstanding. You would be demonstrating a greater sense of maturity if you did that. 

I don't think just asking to spend more time with him could aggravate him just like that. Most people who care for others would be flattered if such demands where made of them. Then again, you never know with people--especially those with poor communication skills. You sound like you still care for him. It is important you find some sort of closure, so you can get on with your life instead of wondering for the rest of your life "what happened".  You must be feeling pretty confused. Kpele ooooooh!

Well, having said that, it could be that he is tired of the relationship and in typical fashion for some people, rather than tell you goodbye the right way, they just disappear. If he will give you audience ask him one way or the other.  If not. move on, for you have done your best.  Goodluck.


_{I guess the guy. . . . . . . .after downloading. . . . . . . . .files done!}

@ Poster
Dating your boss or colleague is a very sensitive venture and in my opinion it should be avoided at all cost, but as it is, based on his reaction, he is obviously not ready to take the relationship to another level, my suggestion is that you should not confront him, when he is ready he would talk about it but if not, it's wise that you simply move on.