Hi All!

Having read so many of these forums, I though you all could help me or at least offer some advice.

My boyfriend of two years broke up with me in December. We had dated for two years, he had asked my dad's permission to marry me, and had a ring.  It was a beautiful two years until he got to medical school and started having to deal with increadible amounts of stress. This ultimately took a toll on our relationship. Yet through it all we would always come back to the fact that we absolutely adored one another.  We began to fight A LOT and before I knew it things had snow balled out of control. He told me he never loved me and that I had ruined his life, etc. Things settled out through the holidays and he spoke often about how hard things had been and how he couldn't wait to propose and how he loved me so much and wanted nothing else than to be with me. Then the day after Christmas he called and told me it was over. I was shocked and devastated. I spent 2 weeks trying to talk things out with him and he would fly off the handle. Its been four months now since we broke up and I emailed him the other day to see if he was interested in catching up. He apologized for what happened and said he wasn't ready to see me and wished me luck for the next year.

I am still devastated and I really want to tell him that I love him. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?

i wonder wht cld av made him do dat move on wit ur life, he obviously dsnt wnt U any more, dnt waste ur time tryin to get him back! guys are jst like dat

What did u do to him? I dont quite understand why he'd call u up and tell u it was all over, is there something u have not mentioned? At the time, were u involved in any hanky-panky that he could have discovered secretly? cos some men find out something and its just too much they wont even discuss it with u, they just want u to go, not trying to make u look bad oh, but Pls meditate on these and let us know if anything could have happened without u noticing,

It is a probably a good idea that I clarify. Thank you for asking. But no, I wasn't involved with anything of the sort. I was fiercely faithful. He was struggling with depression and felt that he couldn't give me what I needed. I always argued that He was all that I ever wanted, no matter what, in whatever state he was in.

It must have been a complex, he felt too inferior for u, like u deserve better, and that he couldn't offer u what u deserved.
Listen girl, if u truly love him and have been with him for 2 yrs, then u should know how to get into the innermost part of his mind. You need to position urself to show him that he's ur choice and that u can handle the stress and even help him find a way out of the depression. If ur efforts dont yield any result, give it a lil while and move on, Perhaps he wasnt God's choice for u afterall, It could be really difficult, especially if he's found another person.

Guys can act stupid sometimes especially the highly influenceable ones, 2yrs down the drain, just like that!

Why then should you allow this to bother you?
Life is full of ups and downs.
Pick up your pieces and move on.
Besides, there are many fishes in the ocean looking for bait.
If one rejects you today, never mind someone needs you out there.

Just look at me, I need you!  [/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

I think you should move on. Hard at this point, but it will be for the best. Don't you think you have taken enough emotional abuse from him already?

whitelexi:

It must have been a complex, he felt too inferior for u, like u deserve better, and that he couldn't offer u what u deserved.
Listen girl, if u truly love him and have been with him for 2 years, then u should know how to get into the innermost part of his mind. You need to position yourself to show him that he's your choice and that u can handle the stress and even help him find a way out of the depression. If your efforts don't yield any result, give it a lil while and move on, Perhaps he wasnt God's choice for u afterall, It could be really difficult, especially if he's found another person.

I totally support this notion.

Those of you who support me trying to show him my love: any hints as to what I should do? I have a conference in two weeks in his town. I have thought of showing up and giving him a letter letting him know my feelings and how much I care for him. Bad idea or good move?

Thanks to all of you for your insight.

He's probably met another girl in school or totally confused at this point in his life with academic work and all. For him to go as far as asking your dad for his permission to marry you means he was once serious. Give him the benefit of doubt. It could be stress.

I don't think 'giving him a letter' will solve the problem. There is no guarantee he will even bother to read the letter. I suggest you show up at his place with a gift (you should know what he likes) and demand where the relationship is going. You might not like the answer you will get but, at least you know where you stand.

If the answer is in the negative, move on with your life. Otherwise, have a make-up sex (if you're into that) and life goes on.

He apologized for what happened and said he wasn't ready to see me and wished me luck for the next year.

With this, does she still need to ask where the "relationship" is going? Didn't he spell it out already?

baby girl, i know you certainly still love this guy thats why you are still looking for the way to construct a road back into his heart even when he is saying there is a dyke on it.

tough call but please move on with your life. PLEASE.

I feel your pain Sis, try to talk to people he respects, having dated him for two years, i am sure you know people close to him.Guys could be funny at times but again no one knows his reasons for his action.

whitelexi said it all.
Good luck and God bless.

i do undastand wat u r taking abt.Cus i hv really bin there.
But i still bliv dias sometin ur not saying.have u wronged him somhow,somewere u might not remember.Think!!!
Moreso,wat kind of friends soes he have?propably his friends are saying smtin to him or maybe his friend hv seen u do smtin wrong somewere u might not knw.
Wat do u do as wats ur career?if u hv progressed more in ur career than him dat might set in complex and u knw may men rather breakup in a longterm relationship dan reduce there ego to a woman especially.
i advice you let him be for awhile he probably wld be wanting sometime alone.and again dont gum him 2 much.Guys dont like girls that attach dem selves to a guy all the time.
In short,give him time!!!!

Sori abt ur feeling.I knw hw hurt u are.

i do undastand wat u r taking abt.Cus i hv really bin there.
But i still bliv dias sometin ur not saying.have u wronged him somhow,somewere u might not remember.Think!!!
Moreso,wat kind of friends soes he have?propably his friends are saying smtin to him or maybe his friend hv seen u do smtin wrong somewere u might not knw.
Wat do u do as wats ur career?if u hv progressed more in ur career than him dat might set in complex and u knw may men rather breakup in a longterm relationship dan reduce there ego to a woman especially.
i advice you let him be for awhile he probably wld be wanting sometime alone.and again dont gum him 2 much.Guys dont like girls that attach dem selves to a guy all the time.
In short,give him time!!!!

Sori abt ur feeling.I knw hw hurt u are.

my dear try not to be too open abt it,it'll annoy him.if u still luv him,give him time(nothin heals like time).
but i must be frank,its a lost cause coz tins can neva be like b4 if u cum bck

dont blame him
u know say medicine dey make pple dey kolo.the thing don dey touch him head.lol

4get about him and move on.i know its hard but u can do it.

.